AIBU to ask MN to get me pregnant.

[Cortana]

So a lovely MNer pointed out to me that oral sex when TTC is a bad idea. Apparently saliva is a sperm killer. I am now 13/14 months in TTC and have just learned this . TMI but this is how most of our DTD sessions start.

So, I want to know, apart from the obvious (putting it in the right place, no contraceptives and no drinking or smoking) what else can I do that may not be massively obvious but can affect your chances?

Help me get diffed MN!

I would seek medical advice now seeing as you have been ttc for over 12 months without success. If there is a fertility problem with either one or equally both of you, it is in your interests to find out asap.

Don't think saliva is in itself to blame here. For example irregular and or painful periods, thyroid problems and or male factor problems play much bigger roles as overall causes of subfertility.

How organised do you want to get? Google Deanna plan. Essentially sex 10 days a month before, during and after your fertile time. Plot your cycles on fertility friend, check the position of your cervix, check your cervical mucus, plot it all til you see a pattern. Take your temperature and plot with Fertility Friend software, it will show when and if you ovulate. You can even throw in some ovulation sticks too!

The temperature plotting is actually really helpful and will show if there are any problems withovualating or short luteal cycle etc. but see GP too for blood test.

Buy Taking Control of Your Fertility too. Very good.

I did this with military precision. Not romantic but I was getting old and running out of time. Have 2 lovely DC now.

Good luck!

Thanks for the responses.

We are at the docs in Jan. DP has a huge doctor phobia so it's a big thing for him.

I want to get very organised, but DP seems to be feeling the pressure a bit and until we've been to the docs and calmed his fears I want to take that pressure off as much as I can. I use FF for symptoms and recording bits and bobs. I think it may be time for temperatures and the like.

The saliva thing spooked me, I know it's not huge in the scheme of things but I felt really stupid having not known and panicked there may be other daft little things we're doing that aren't helping.

Are you having sex at least three times a week?

Yes. Usually once a day or every other day. Not as part of TTC, just generally anyway. I'm terrified of turning a healthy sex life into something scheduled and regimented.

Had a nice chat with DP today and he's willing to try anything, even if it means following that Deanna plan for a while. Was a good chat.

if you are having that much sex then you dont need any deanna plan. just carry on as you are but since you have been trying over a year see your gp so you are in the system if you do need any further investigations.