The End is Nigh! Batten down the hatches in the BESH Bunker

[FrankelDeBeauvoir]

A wordy fred title I know, but it's too early to think of something snappier!

Get ready for the end of the world: grab your OFRS, your emergency gin supply and join us shrivelled harridans in the BESH Bunker.

Admittance is only permitted on production of a successfully completed BESHtionnaire (hint, check out previous BESH threads)

I actually found our TTC ishoos pushed us to the brink of our faith. (We are Christians). Tis easier now but MSB still struggles.

I do not want to get out of bed!

Me either, faif. It is warm and cosy and despite the fact that I got through yesterday and today will be easier, I still would rather stay here and go back to sleep.

I haven't been back to church since the first ectopic. The desire to shout "oh just fuck OFF" at the altar was distressingly strong so it seemed best to stay away.

Well sex was a massive fail so we did the next best thing - fall out then went to sleep. Never mind.

I'm not religious, probably agnostic really. I heard some sick comments from a religious person years ago about infertility which, if I heard the same now, I would literally tear strips off them. It was along the lines of 'god only gives babies to those he judges fit to.'

My friends friend is deeply religious and she and her husband tried for years, had all the tests, nothing wrong. Went on hols, had a break down and a bit of a screamathon 'fuck you god' type thing and ripped her cross from her neck and threw it from the hotel window. Got home, guess what BFP. I'm really not to sure if that story pisses me off or makes me smile!

TTC nearly derailed my faith. Even now I struggle because of all the stuff we went through. I am not sure it gave me much comfort at times.

The language of Christenings and the church focus on families seemed to be particularly upsetting at times.

I have hope and faith but not in a religious way...I have a born again friend who's always praying for me so I've got the bases covered

I was raised a Catholic, though probably more of a 'social' Catholic iykwim. Organised religions seem very unkind and unwelcoming sometimes, which is the opposite of the supposed Christian message. If I ever do manage to have a child, I don't know that I would have it christened, although that would cause major upset in my family. I only just "got away" with having a civil wedding because Husband has no religious background whatsoever.

I am off work today. I got up at 6 to take him to the train station. He is off for a day of corporate wankery bollocks and was in a Bad Mood when he left. So why have I not gone back to sleep? I will regret this later.

slap hope you made up?

I stand corrected! I shall henceforth be grateful for my complete lack of religious beliefs - at least it doesn't give me any additional stress.

Dot, I know what you mean about the language and focus on families. I've been pretty close to breaking down during a couple of weddings over the last year or so. I feel so uncomfortable and out of place in church in any case, and then the message seems to be "get married and then have children, that is your entire purpose in life".

Still, the rage was held at bay at the most recent wedding by a truly horrible toddler in the row behind me who whined and kicked the back of my chair all through the service and then spray-sneezed all over my back. Did his parents apologise? Did they fuck... Why on earth wouldn't you just take a clearly bored - and bothering/distracting other wedding attendees - child outside?

To be honest I found weddings just as hard when I was desperate to meet a nice man and get married. I sobbed my way through my sister's second wedding and then proceeded to get shit-faced at the reception. Rather miraculously I look fabulous in all the photos. I think I got so drunk that I forgot to carry on drinking and ended up sober!

Yes to that. A solemn vicar proclaiming "Marriage is for the promulgation of childre....." blah blah blah. Next time I'll stand up and shout "Say you're infertile? What's it for then? Does my marriage lack purpose?"

All part of God's great plan. Imagine dealing with nappies and tantrums in the bunker, for example.

I remember those days Dor. We were together 7 years before we got hitched. I was sick of going to weddings of couples who had met years after us. The final straw came at KFZK's brother's wedding. KFZK and I had broken up just before it (because he wasn't sure he wanted to have kids and I was - having just done a 180 turnabout on that). We had a break, he did some thinking and decided he did want kids after all, just not right then. We had been together about 4 years by that point and I was 30/31 and starting to get broody. I was feeling rather fragile at the time of the wedding and had been humming and hawing about whether or not to go. In the end I did, but it wasn't an easy day and I was holding back the tears for some of it. BIL had been together with his fiancée for less than a year when they got hitched. She has the same name as me. At the reception KFZK's mother came up to me and said how confusing it was that we have the same name so she had decided that SIL would be Name#1 and I would be Name#2 as they had got married first. KFZK still hasn't heard the end of that one.

I'm a confirmed athiest. And so is KFZK (despite, or more likely because of, spending 10 years in a Jesuit boarding school...).

rie in so far as the Catholic church goes, if you know you're infertilite before marriage you shouldn't get married at all - marriage is about a family life and sex is about procreation only

Weddings were hard when I was with my ex-girlfriend because that was before civil partnerships so I thought I would never ever get that, and because 9 times out of 10 I wasn't allowed to bring her

My boobs are still massive today but less sore. No droid yet but the easing of the boob pain makes me think it's imminent.

I am sure you are all thrilled to be kept up to date with the state of my buzzwams

I think you're allowed to get married, winkle. You just have to accept that God in his top omnipotent way could overturn your infertility AT ANY MOMENT! THRILLS! MAGICS! and give you a baybee. Because the church marries post menopausal wimminz and shit. in fact, the priest has leeway not to say the procreation of children bit. Which is good, because i am going to refuse to get married next year if anyone tries to make me say it.

Sorry you are right. It's pre-existing & unfixable impotence that I was thinking.of.

Can you imagine a priest asking "now will you be able to get it up at least once?"

So is that basically saying you've got to have an erectible nob (male) and a vaginal opening (female)?

Regarding religion, I find Amy Ferrarr-Fowler (off of Big Bang Theory) provides the best retort:

"I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I am baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance"

My mum is a Jehovah's Witness (converted 20 years ago) and my dad hates organised religion, so I have plenty of ishoos on that front!

I just braved a look out of the window.

That apocalypse is coming along nicely, isn't it.

Indeed. I think rather than a bunker we should have opted for an evil lair atop a mountain.

As it is, I think we need to start constructing canoes.

Didn't realise the apocalypse would be so darn soggy.

At least it counteracts the brimstone which always seems to rain down in apocalypse films.

Oh when can I go hoooome?

Go now, tell them you need to collect canoe building materials before its too late.

I am disappointed that the so-called French brasserie I am going tonight has neither pate nor blue cheese for me to passively-aggressively order in the face of my diffed friend.

There's always booze, wink.

Oh FFS. KFZK has just had a voicemail from the local environmental health. He rents out a flat (the one he lived in before we moved in together and couldn't sell because of the recession). It was managed through an agent and has been no hassle for that time. The agent has just given up his business, so KFZK went to see the tenant a week or so ago to reintroduce himself (he went round when they first moved in to say they could contact him any time, etc.) and take a look at the place. He was quite dismayed at the state of the decoration. There has been a leak and whilst it had been stopped, it has done some damage to the walls and floors. Anyway, he had a nice amicable chat with the tenant about what needed to be done in the place. He then received a massively ranty email from the tenant that bore no relation to the discussion that they had had, saying he had threatened him by saying he was a litigation lawyer (he had said this in response to the guy asking what he did...) and that the flat was damaging his health, etc. It now seems that he has reported the matter to the enviro health. And not paid rent for the last two months. FFS. This is hassle we really don't need. I think it is just a try on. The old agent told KFZK that the tenant has request a landlord's reference so he wants to move anyway. I think he just wants to get out of paying the rent for the remainder of the time he is there.

Bollix. And tonight was supposed to be the start of sh@g week too. Now I bet he is not in the mood.

A lovely friend of mine came to see me at the end of the day (we work together) to tell me she was 13 weeks pg. I'm so happy for her but literally can't stop crying. I really think I'm going to crack up with all this shit, I'm so fed of everyone else getting pg easily and me always being the one left behind. I wouldnt wish infertility on anyone thats not what i mean when i say im upset. i just wish it could happen for me. nd because we are friends I'm going to get bombarded with the 'you next' bollocks. Fuck it.

Oh slap. I am having a down day too. I woke up in the middle of the night certain that I would never have a baby of my own. And I haven't been able to shake the sadness all day.

Come and have a sob on my shoulder in the corner of the bunker.

I'm sad today too, maybe there's something in the air. I just saw this thread and only just stopped myself from posting something enormously bitter about being grateful you have a DD at all and stop whining about nonsense.