The End is Nigh! Batten down the hatches in the BESH Bunker

[FrankelDeBeauvoir]

A wordy fred title I know, but it's too early to think of something snappier!

Get ready for the end of the world: grab your OFRS, your emergency gin supply and join us shrivelled harridans in the BESH Bunker.

Admittance is only permitted on production of a successfully completed BESHtionnaire (hint, check out previous BESH threads)

Ow. That tinsel halo thing was a cruelly descriptive blow to the heart, aries.

Sorry love. It's just how I feel today :(

I never used to be a whinger. It's only lately when times have been so hard. There was a silly thread in which a woman was moaning about the timing of the Christmas holidays and all I wanted to say was "Shut the fuck up."

rie I've had one of those dreams. And I was actually pushing in my dream. Luckily I woke up just as I was about to let out a bit of wee.... I've had the feeding dream too.

Bring the baby to the bunker. They will never find us

Someone was whining about the timing of Christmas? Its been the same time every single year for at least a hundred years! Should we move it to July? no cos then it will clash with my birthday

Euro I am glad you didn't wee yourself and lucky you going away. I had a very vivid breastfeeding dream last night, probably because I am obsessed with my breasts at the minute. Today I visited a friend with a 2 week old baby. Nice to see my friend, but...

rie I don't think you are a whinger. Today I was thinking how bloody strong you all are in the face of all this shit life throws at you

Fanks winks

I think the timing whingeing was more to do with the audacity of schools for daring to break up on the 22nd, which doesn't then give their offspring enough time to get excited enough about The Big Day.

Oh ffs. It's been Christmas since the end of September in tesco. Plenty of time to get excited. Stupid woman.

What? It's Christmas? What a surprise!

They can all fuck off with their Elf on the Shelf shit as well.

I love that advent calendar! Here I was, thinking it would be some grinch, bah humbug anti-Xmas calendar, but no! It's a vision of gin shaped loveliness. And for 24 drinks, begins to look like a bit of a bargain... Do you think they'll discount it after dec 1st

So. Cd 1 here. The droid rust did it. Actually a bit pleased. Norks are now un-hurty, I have a reason for cramps, and last cycle was a tiny 54 days. Go me.

Can we stage a mass break out from the BESH bunker and post "shut/man the fuck up" on many, many deserving threads?

Yes! Including this one

Let's DO it!

I wonder which of us will be first to get banned from mumsnet.

Just avoid personal attacks. You can more or less say anything

Glad you like it, sinky! I thought you guys would appreciate it

Another order here for that advent calendar

I has been a stroppy and moody cah for the last few days. We haven't ad the sechs at all this cycle and I think I might be gearing up to ov. HWHNN has been unwell and isn't really in a fit state but the irrational part of my mind is feeling neglected and that he can't want a baybee that much if he won't make the effort. Plus I'm having a stressful time in work - it's starting to look like we may need to relocate offices, still in the same small town, but I could do without the headache of finding new premises and sorting out all the faff that entails

Rubbish frank, it's crap feeling (a) undesirable and (b) alone in your desire for a baybee. Is HWHNN normally a bit useless, or is this an abberation?

Do you think that perhaps (and feel free to chop off my arm with a zombie-fighting machete for this) it might be worth taking a cycle "off"? I think that I will be, this time round if my fucking droid ever comes and my boobs don't explode - I think I need a break from the pressure to shag, then the menkulling, then the disappointment.

I know. Let's cut our losses, and make the bunker a lesbian one (apart from Mr Craig who can impregnate us)

My cycles are so arsing long that I feel like I can't take a cycle off, IYSWIM. He's normally very good, though completely lacking in spontaneity . I do 99% of the initiating and to be honest, these days it's more "We've got 15 minutes before these spuds are cooked, upstairs now!" than "I need you right now, ravish me on the kitchen table!"

Fair nuff

B-Plan - scatter candles around the room making it luffly and splay yourself sexily across the bed. Desire will beat illness. Probably.

Ariel - my lesbian friends won twins. The lesbians are less barren than me.

And didn't we agree Bond would have had the snip?

There was a lesbian BESH way back. She won before me and Jethro too I am starting to think turkey basting is actually far more effective that Sechs with a Chap.

It gets lacking in spontaneity doesn't it? I've told mr df we need to tonight....or else! Still got cm and not a smiley on opk but with him working nights as of tomorrow it'll be our last chance till weekend.

Is being a lesbian better? Well.

I used to be in a same-sex relationship.
My mum worried I would never have kids.

Now I'm married and showing no signs of procreating.
My mum is worried I will never have kids.

Plus ca change...

Sigh. I have never been in a relationship with a girl but when I think of all that wasted contraception :(.

I remember my mum bellowing whether my then-boyfriend was "doubling up"! Mmmm - sensitive.

Least another woman would understand why it needs to be tonight and not sometime towards the arse end of next week...fume. If he knocks me back I'm going to be very cross

Seeing as we are on menkulling and all things secsh, I need advice quick! I mean before bed!

So, I had a semi positive OPK ok Friday ie both lines were very nearly as dark as one another so I wasn't far off ready to ov, followed by lots and lots of CM first thing on Saturday. We DTD Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and yesterday afternoon and yesterday there was no CM but I was horrendously horny all day. Nothing today until more CM before I headed out to pole. I'm really really not in the mood and neither is MATV but do you think we should just in case? Stressing that we might miss ov :(