The End is Nigh! Batten down the hatches in the BESH Bunker

[FrankelDeBeauvoir]

A wordy fred title I know, but it's too early to think of something snappier!

Get ready for the end of the world: grab your OFRS, your emergency gin supply and join us shrivelled harridans in the BESH Bunker.

Admittance is only permitted on production of a successfully completed BESHtionnaire (hint, check out previous BESH threads)

I agree boo te-licious! So, so luffly to have you around :) Glad to hear the mental and sad phases are over but I think wistfulness is justified.

It is already -2 here. What the actual?! Brr.

That's some very impressive pantsnot, Frank! Congratulations!

There appears to be some potential kidney poking going on here

Tender hairstrokes to wistful Boo

euro, so is natural IVF without all the stimming? Does it....er...ever work? Sorry if that sounds insensitive?

Well would you believe it? You know our quiet Christmas? MrA woke me up with a cup of tea this morning (always a bad sign) and said he had thought of "a solution" to Christmas. He and his brother and sister and their families have neglected to organise seeing anything of each other since last Christmas. That's the background. And now he is feeling guilty. So. This is his plan: going to his brother's for two nights before we go to my parents' on the 23rd, going over to his parents' from my parents' (250 miles each way) to see his old Gran some day after Christmas, and then come back for the night out with friends I have very inconveniently organised on the evening of the 27th. On the 28th going up to SIL's (his pregnant sister - another 250 miles in a northerly direction) to stay in their 3 bedroom house while his parents are there - so that would be 6 adults, a four year old, a mad dog and a pregnant tum in a house (because they never do anything while they visit each other) for 2 days post Christmas.

And all this because they haven't got off their arses and organised seeing each other since last Christmas.

AIBU to think this is the most fucking awful plan ever? Apparently we cannot discuss it without arguing.

That sounds miserable and exhausting rie, and completely shitty of him to change all your plans at the last minute.

Rie, yep no downregging and no stimming. Just a trigger shot to time egg collection. It does work but it has a lower success rate because they are only working with the egg you produce so it's not playing the numbers game. Louise Brown and all the other early IVF babies were natural IVF babies. It was only later the drugs were introduced to give more eggs and so more chances of an embryo. But when loads of eggs are produced some of them will be of poor quality because the body isn't designed to pop out 20 eggs in one go or whatever. We were quoted a success rate of about 20% vs 40% for stimulated IVF.

I don't ever want to downreg again. I would go with the mild stimms if necessary, but we want to give this a go first (KFZK was actually keener on fully natural than I was - I think he remembers living with the lunatic during downregging...). I need to go to intervention via baby steps. Because I don't really want it at all.

Posted toos soon. Rie that is a bonkers Xmas plan. Where is the time set aside for sitting on your @rse eating Quality Street in front of the telly???? (Which as any fule knows is the true point of Christmas.)

I have my work Xmas dinner tonight. Do I have to go? Can someone write me a sick note please?

I am skiving my work Christmas do, euro. Ghastly things. I feel your pain.

rierie, if it came to it, would you spend Christmas without him? If push came to shove and you point blank refused to do his mental plan, could you follow through and stay put if he showed signs of thinking he could go alone?

But it would....shudder....being chez parentals without him or sis and without a car. In the arse end of nowhere in an isolated Welsh village. Sister, as you know, if you have been following the ArielBoringFamilySaga closely , is the only other non-mad member of my immediate family. The thought terrifies me :(

PS, Euro pretend to have explosive diarrhoea. No one will want you there and then hope it won't come true.

Is it too unfair if you suggest he accompanies you to your parents' as planned, but that he does the rest of his insane plan himself?

Nope!

That is what I have done. And we're going to BIL's this weekend. I just decided now.

Nice pant snot Frankel, very impressed.

Rie that's sounds a nightmare. Families are a pain in the arse especially at Christmas because everyone expects you to be nice to them.

Euro I'd no idea 'natural' was possible, I always thought they pumped you full of drugs whatever.

I'm in the dog house with my friend, I didn't go to a work do tonight and forgot to tell her. Feel really bad and I'm only getting short messages to my pathetic apologies. I've promised to make it up in booze. Had a meltdown today though and just felt so shit and all over the place, getting stuff wrong, forgetting conversations, drifting away when people are talking to me. I'm blaming the clomid. Also had a rough (my own making) afternoon yesterday as was with my cross friend who has two kids and my other newly out of the closet pregnant friend and they started talking about maternity clothes. When I told cross friend we were trying 18 months ago she'd just given birth and said ohhhh I've got loads of stuff you can have but of course I've never diffed so newly pregnant friend is having it all. As she should, but it just made me die inside a little bit. Then they talked about scans, how amazing feeling baby move it, cravings, tiredness, maternity leave, how special telling people you are pregnant is. I just excused myself in the end, I know I'm going to just have to hide from it all aren't i? So, now I'm just sat at home feeling guilty, sad and in need of a good cry.

Aww, Tipps, that's miserable. I think we've all been there.

Tonight is one of my possible work dos. The other is next week. I vetoed both!

Tipp that would make any TTCer stabby!

Rie that is too much. Tell him so!

Does anyone really like the work do? I'm skiving mine right now. :o

not helped by not feeling well tonight. I'm sure I'm coming down with woman flu though it may just be the drucks so I shall continue to blame them. Crying has not helped in the slightest. i also thought I had some slight CM earlier but I really, really cannot face it tonight and I know DH will be the same. A pee'd in a pot to stick an OPK in but forgot about it so it went cold :/ told you I wasn't on form tonight!

I don't mind my job, some times certain people drive me batshit crazy but it's generally quite a nice job.

I too hate work do's really, they are just a nightmare and I try to avoid them as much as possible, even lunches but there seem to be quite a few this time of year! nightmare.

Euro I heard v good things about natural IVF. At the clinic I'm at it has quite high success rates. Best of bloody luck I say. Although after reading your post I'm shitting it about down regging. Did my first stab an hour ago - when can I expect to turn into a nutter?

Rie you know my thoughts on crazy busy Christmad. You need to rest. I demand you come to my house. SSG can wait on our every need.

Tip don't blame you for making your excuses. Sometimes it has to be done.

My work do's are always brilliant. But then again you'd expect it should be in my line of work!

Evening hags and hello boo I "know" you from my lurking days!

Right, in unreasonableness stakes I think aries is winning the day. OMG. We actually had three near rows about Christmas (as I was all of a sudden asked to spend it with That Woman, I am sure norf and faif will remember the post-MC incident with my SIL). So I was impossible for three days, blaming the Drucks. But counselling - once again, I seem to have become a born-again counselled-barren - really helped. It made me realise all the bits that bothered me about Christmas, so I told SB. Who understood and called his brother to tell him we would not spend Christmas at theirs. I love SB. But the bottom-line was, not sure whether it will work Rie, that I told him exactly how and why I was worried about Christmas. With some clear things he could do about that. He chickened out of any confrontation but solved my issues in one sweep fall.

Although Dor your FIL is a prat, and much better he's not there for too long. Poor Mister though.

Well done on first stabs jef!! Not everyone goes mad, honest.

Shaggy natural sounds good. But first there will be some kidney punching. For you too, whoever needs poking, sink?

Re: work-dos of course you skip them. I have skipped the following this week (after my counsellor telling me I could take it easy): a 3 hour lecture/tutorial combo; a running group (whilst it is SO freezing) and a book club night. And I feel very pleased with myself. BUT we are skinned at work, so we're having a Christmas-lunch at work next week, with everyone bringing something. And I am baking for it...

Sorry you are feeling so rough tippy! And that afternoon sounds like hell!

Also, a quick update on my (flailing) IUI cycle. Follie still not ready 15mm now, and the second one disappeared. Apparently I have a polyp, but tiny, so not to worry. And I either get to trigger on a train - which will be a challenge or miss an important meeting at work due to IUI. Curious how long I can keep this secret. And I am not even remotely expecting a result any longer. MC is not good for the predictability of my formerly perfect cycles...

Oh dear rie I spend six hours on xmas day driving and its a bit of a pest but I won't budge on going to my family add my nan is nearly ninety but mr df folks are really big on xmas so we spilt it. Can't ever please everyone.

tipps sorry about the friends...they all forget don't they? My most recent conversation with my oldest friend totally revolved around her kids and it was only one I was home I realised she hadn't asked about me!

Well I may have managed to come across the most incompetent gp ever. Firstly she was puzzled as to why I'd had progesterone test a week after ovulation...as she thought it should be two Weeks before period! ! Then she told me that I must be ovulating if I'm having periods..I'm not sure that's correct? ...then she couldn't subtract 14 from 36...then she had to check a flow diagram to check what to do next and suggested initially I get a blood test every day! ! And she keep telling me that everyone gets their period 14 days after ovulation...I think my luteal is 12 days but she said no way. So we left it at we'll do three blood tests over a week next time month...ohand she told me at last they'll be able to give me clomid but that she thought low progesterone always led to miscarriage but there were other routes? ? As nutty as a Snickers that one

Just one question blue why are you not pushing/demanding for a referral? This woman knows NOTHING.

What I have learned seeing too many specialists is the following. Luteal phases are okay between 10 and 16 days. Any shorter or longer exist too, the first is bad news, the latter potentially good. Low progesterone is a sign of no or bad ovulation, or just a lack of progesterone after a decent ovulation. The former might be dealt with by clomid or stabbing, the latter with the charming suppositories that those heading for IVF probably will meet...

Oh and GPs are notoriously incompetent. When I asked mine for some counselling about a year ago, he suggested I should just get diffed, as that would solve my issue although he was surprisingly lovely after my MC.

Okay, I guess the hormonal rages are not fully under control then... Ignore any unfriendly tones, I am still stabbing!

Nah its cool ...she's referring me next month as long as a do the bloods tests again. This was a weird locum doc and I'm not sure she was all there! The next time I go I'm getting referred so January fingers crossed!

Good job blue. It is just dancing to her tune to get a referral. Well, go for it, and ignore anything she sprouts. I think it is nearly sleep time. Early scan in 10 hours tomorrow morning. Joy...

I'm home already from the Xmas do. I'm considering this a win. I did my duty and then made an early escape.

Tipps how did you not stab them both with a fork? You are very restrained.

Jeff try not to worry about the downregging. Several people on the other thread I'm on (the 10+ers) have done it recently and pretty much breezed through it with just the odd headache. When I was having a tough time I spoke to my two close friends who have had IVF recently and they couldn't remember any side effects during downregging, only side effects from stimming. I think I'm a bit speshul when it comes to hormonal drugs. The Pill makes me suicidal (I ony put 2+2 together when I stopped it and felt fine). I am not typical. But I do think it means the natural/mild approach is right for me (even if it means no frosties and most likely a one child family because of my age).

driz that sounds terribly mature. I think I would have sulked and stamped my feet until I got my own way. (Just kidding. I think.)

Triggering on a train would not be ideal, but doable, I reckon. I think you could manage it in your seat (behind bag/under coat) if there are no loos.

Bloody hell blu. Thank crunchie for the internet, eh? In ye olden days, we would just have taken their word for it! What's your plan of action.

Definitely a win euro. Your experience with IVF achooally does scare me, as I also got suicidal on the pill, seem to have quite significant side effects on a low dose of stimming... Oh well, cross that bridge when we come to it.

I was not so mature. I did a lot of nagging to get a reaction out of poor SB when I was feeling shit last weekend. It seems I just need a lot of attention and time to feel sorry for myself. I shan't sing the praises of the counsellor again, as I am completely shell-shocked how much it is helping my previous experiences whilst an angsty teenager involved the person thinking I must be gay, which was not helpful and quite confusing, not I hasten to add that there is anything wrong with that, but it clearly was not what bothered me