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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I am interested in surrogacy

74 replies

TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 29/10/2012 22:14

I'd love to be able to help someone who desperately wanted a child but couldn't. DP says he totally agrees and he would be with me every step of the way.

But, I don't know how/where to begin!

Also posted this in chat as none of the topics seemed the right place.

If anyone could give me any help and pointers that would be wonderful, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 29/10/2012 22:15

I am off to sleep now so will check back in the morning :)

OP posts:
SoleSource · 29/10/2012 22:50

Emotio.ally could you go through 9 months of pregnancy and not have a baby at tbe end you will be attached to in some form and wonder about?

NatashaBee · 29/10/2012 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 08:30

Sole yes, I believe I could. I've always wanted to do it and I'm delighted DP feels the same way.

Thanks natasha I'll check that out.

OP posts:
SoleSource · 30/10/2012 11:47

:) I recall the time COTS was set up. The Lady that was the founder changed her.mind about surrogacy. Was featured heavily in media. You recall that? That is how I know about COTS.

I think it is a beautiful, kond act. I hope it works out.

Nancy66 · 30/10/2012 11:57

SURROGACY UK and COTS are the main surrogacy agencies in the UK. I'd get in touch with them.

UK law is a very grey area in regard to surrogacy. Any agreement you enter into is not legally binding.

YOu might want to look at the website for Natalie Gamble Associates - they're a specialised legal firm dealing with adoption/surrogacy/fertility cases.

WeAreEternal · 30/10/2012 12:05

One of my best friends is a surrogate, if you want I can give you her email address and you could have a chat with her about it.
She has been doing it for years and has had 3 surrogate babies, she is amazing.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 12:14

Eternal that would be great, if she wouldn't mind of course.

Sole I'm afraid I don't recall that. How long ago was it?

OP posts:
lollilou · 30/10/2012 12:40

I think it's a lovely thing to do and if I could have done this I would've liked to have done it (too old now).
The only thing I would probably say is that I believe you should have your own family, or at least one, before going ahead.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 12:43

DD is nearly 17 months old :)

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 30/10/2012 12:45

I think it's an amazing thing to do. I know I couldn't handle it. Good luck to you...

NoTeaForMe · 30/10/2012 12:50

I know a family who have two children through surrogacy. It's an amazing thing, but just remember (like someone has already said) legally its a massive grey area and there are people who take advantage of that.

I personally think you should have your complete family before you do surrogacy.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 12:57

We feel we have completed our family. We have our DD, and we both feel that we catergorically do not want anymore children. We don't have the time, money or space for another. But we are young so that could change.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 13:02

Sorry pressed post too soon, damn touchscreens!

But we are young so that could change. But unlikely, as DD is so much of a handful, the thought of having another one like her fills us with horror :o of course DC2 could be totally different but we don't fancy taking that chance :o

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 30/10/2012 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixie123 · 30/10/2012 13:37

might have been better to PM the email address - this is open to ANYONE who now has your friend's address. Ask MNHQ to withdraw it. OP, I have often thought I could do surrogacy - I love my children dearly but didn't feel attached to them as bumps particularly. Best of luck to you.

milk · 30/10/2012 13:45

I am in awe of surrogates. I could never be strong enough to carry a baby for 9 months, then give it away afterwards.

Nancy66 · 30/10/2012 13:51

Weareeternal i agree with trixie - i'd get that removed.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 14:12

Thanks Eternal, I've copied the email and reported the post so it gets removed. Thank you very much :)

OP posts:
MOSagain · 30/10/2012 14:16

Good for you if you think you could do it without the emotional bond.

I've been an egg donor twice. Was never informed of the result of the first time but the second one resulted in a baby boy who is now 11 Grin

OddBoots · 30/10/2012 14:18

I've carried three babies as a host surrogate (the first with COTS, the second and third with Surrogacy UK) and found it an amazing experience, I wish I could do so again but an unrelated health problem means I can't.

If you investigate through one of the organisations then they will make sure you are fully informed before you meet any prospective intended parents.

Original poster
TheCunnyFuntOfEastwick · 30/10/2012 14:29

It all started for me about 13/14 years ago, when I was erm, 8 I think? I'm
21 now. And my auntie really wanted a baby but her (now) ex husband couldn't have children. So my other auntie said to them, the next time I get pregnant (ONS I think, not the best way but hey ho.) I will give the baby to you. So she did. That baby is now 12/13 and she has just found out the truth :(

But I've always thought that was a lovely thing to do and that I could do it one day.

OP posts:
Greythorne · 30/10/2012 14:54

We had lunch with some dear friends who now have a DD through a surrogate a few days ago.

It is an amazing gift.

Good luck to you, OP, what you are doing is lifechanging!

SoleSource · 30/10/2012 18:09

That's how ypu don't remember because you are 21. The founderofCOTS was 100% for sirrogacy then 100% against. She appeared on a lot of television programmes being interviewed and was fascinating to hear both sides. Brb

Nancy66 · 30/10/2012 18:34

FGS don't tell that story at the interview!