From form filling to being matched with a couple takes only a few weeks. With COTs, you fill in the forms, then get a visit from someone who will talk to you about being a surrogate. They will leave you a kit to get bloods taken, and forms for your GP to sign stating there is no physical or mental reason as to why you shouldn't proceed. Some GPs are anti-surrogacy, so you may need to try a different one of you face opposition.
Once COTs get your blood results and your GP has given the nod, they then send you the details of IPs (Intended Parents). You read their details and choose who you would like to proceed with.
Your details/phone number will be passed on to the IPs and they then contact you directly.. If you don't feel a bond, or something doesn't seem right, you just tell COTs and you choose another couple until you find a good match.
COTs recommend getting to know each other for at least three months before proceeding with treatment/inseminations but this is flexible. You take as long as you need. You have an 'Agreement Session' which includes you, your couple, and a COTs representative where you will formally discuss things such number of pregnancy attempts, total expenses, abortion, pre-natal tests etc. it's important you are all on the same page just in case something untoward happens.
If you plan on doing Host surrogacy, where the IPs own embryos are created and transferred ino you, then you are at the mercy of the infertility clinic with regards to timescales. Some are quick, most aren't. You'd probably be looking at at least six months plus before you get to point of transfer and then there is no guarantee of success, which can take you back to square one if no frozen embryos are available.
If you decide on Straight surrogacy, where you use our own egg, then it's all down to nature.
When I got pregnant, I don't think I felt anything, other than utter relief that I didn't have to impart any more negative news to my IPs. Telling them the great news was amazing, and in all three cases for me there were tears all round at finally something going right.
I didn't feel anything for the babies, other than an enormous sense of responsibility. The parents are so involved from day 1, and you have heard their joy every day from the first pregnancy test, to the first scans, to the excitement of choosing a nursery etc that giving them their baby is just a massive feeling of pride. I suppose I felt towards the babies a little like I feel about my sisters children. I love them, but not in the intense way their parents do if that makes sense.
Saying goodbye was hard. It felt like an ending. I wasn't sad seeing eh baby go, I was sad seeing my new friends take their baby home and not knowing what he future held. It felt like an ending. Would we keep in touch? Was that it? Do they realise my hormones are all over the place and I just want to cry but don't know why? That sort of feeling.
All my couples kept in very close contact in the first few weeks and I was able to see the little people whenever I wanted. Surprisingly I didn't really want to. Hearing they were okay was enough for me, and knowing I could see them if I wanted to was enough.
Hope all this makes sense, my children are driving me mad chatting in my ear!