Those waiting to ttc... (slightly pointless thread)

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

We're ttc #2 in dec and I know it's a really silly thing to get excited about, but just started taking folic acid and feeling very excited about it!

Sorry for the pointless thread.

[MrsWajs]

Thanks leafmould it seems to be going ok at the moment but I am still on one tablet every other day, have only had one wobble so far when I've felt a bit of my old anxiety creeping back in but I got over it and DP is being very supportive.

I was a complete nightmare when I stopped my pill last time I was TTC so I am fully expecting that again and trying to pre-empt it a bit this time if that makes sense?

DP and I have a DD who is 18mo today! And he has a DS from a previous relationship who is 5 in January. Would have liked a slightly smaller gap between DD and next DC but think we might have left it a bit late (DP's inability to make his mind up) so will just have to go with it and see what happens. Took me a year to conceive last time and even that was a fluke so I'm not going to be too optimistic!

Sorry to hear of all those who've miscarried recently.

Ooh could we have a list? I like to have something to refer to so I know who's doing what! I'm useless otherwise, baby brain has ruined my memory!!

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Happy 18 months today to little MissWajs! A list sounds an excellent idea - already so hard to keep track of everyone.

Would love to be ttc buddies LoveYouForever It would be nice if everyone starting/resuming ttc in December could perhaps form a new thread when the time comes.

[winterpansy]

I have to say I'm loving this thread! Makes the (difficult!) wait more bearable and less lonely. We should have a list and hopefully during the course of the next 6 months or so we can see many BFPs!

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

Can I join too?
I'm feeling a bit pessimistic about it all really. I've had 7 pregnancies and only one live child. We've had a break for 18 months which has been really good for us.
Hoping to start to TTC in Feb, undergone all the tests, they cant find anything wrong. Just started herbal medicine and Homeopathy after realising the medical profession probably cant help me any further.
I know I should be excited about TTC but can't help but dread the thought of another miscarriage..

[winterpansy]

Hi TheAccidentalExhibitionist sorry to hear about your losses. You've been through a dreadful time
We'll all help you through TTC and fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy.
What age is your DC?

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

accidental so sorry to hear about your past miscarriages, fingers crossed for you everything goes well when you do ttc again.

I think starting another thread in Dec would be a great idea bridget

Hopefully next year we can all post of our bfps :-)

[LondonSuperTrooper]

Yes please count me in for the TTC December thread

accidental my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine how you must feel. Keep strong and good luck with TTC in Feb.

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

Thanks Winterpansy, LoveYouForeverMyBaby and LondonSuperTrooper. My son is 9.
I'm normally a very positive, cheerful person, as is my DH but we're going into this with our eyes wide open and prepared for further losses.

[LondonSuperTrooper]

accidental Sounds sensible in theory... but it's hard in practice!

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 1.5 years ago and it's only now that I am strong enough to think about TTC.

When did you miscarry? Did it happen at the same stage of pregnancy?

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Accidental I'm so sorry to hear of your losses - words just seem so inadequate. Life can be crap!

And I completely take my hat off to you (and your DP) for having the courage to get back on the ttc roller-coaster. I can't even imagine the guts it must take to steel yourself to try again. I think even the most positive person in the world would struggle.

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Hi London I really hope you don't mind me discussing it (please just say if it's too personal) but I find your comment about it only being now (i.e. 1.5 years later) that you feel ready to think about ttc really interesting.

After my miscarriage (at 7 weeks), I searched about online to try to find out about other women's experiences. One thing that struck me was how many women seem to have a burning need to get pregnant again as soon as possible (particularly by what would have been their due date). I can totally understand this and I suppose I've been feeling a bit of freak for not feeling the same way.

I don't know if it's fear of the same thing happening again, or some strange misplaced sense of loyalty to the pregnancy that was lost, but I just haven't been able to throw myself into ttc over the past months. I can't really explain it, I so want another child (and would be delighted with a BFP) but the thought of coping with the early particularly risky weeks of pregnancy just feels like an ordeal looming ahead.

I don't think my DP really 'gets' it and is surprised that after all this time waiting for him to come round to the idea of a second child I haven't been more enthusiastic about trying again.

Part of me just feels really silly - that it was only 7 weeks (I hadn't even missed two periods for goodness sake) - and that I've been foolish letting precious cycles slip by without properly trying. I feel like it must mean other women want a child more than me.

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

bridget please dont feel silly, I had a miscarriage at around 6/7 weeks too. You're doing whats right for you, but as hard as this seems try not to stress too much about the early weeks of pg...i got pg again a year later stressed the whole way through and had a healthy low risk uneventful pg, labour and baby. Hugs to you.

[Leafmould]

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
winterpansy ttc #2 jan/feb
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
notwinkies ttc#2 jan
mrs wajs ttc#2 November
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
cunningplan December
whyriskit ttc#3 after Xmas
familyguyfab ttc#2 soon
notyouagain ttc#2 after Xmas
amiready ttc#1 after Xmas
cautious cat Late January
sloeginfizz December
part1 ttc#2 August
london supertrooper age 38 ttc#2 December
stickthekettleon age 40 ttc#3 next week!
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
bridget&hb age 35 ttc#2 December
accidental exhibitionist ytc#2 February


I truly hope I have not made any errors here, or misrepresented anyone....please correct if I've mixed you up!

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Thank you Leafmould - would have taken me ages!

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

London, all MMC at between 9-11 weeks.
I'll be 40 in April so I suppose time is now against us a bit too.

My first MC was the worst, I think it's the shock. I would say it took me about 18 months to get over it too, so I understand how you felt. Sometimes it's just easier to stop thinking about it for a while and have some normal life.

Interestingly, despite not believing in Homeopathy, its definitely having an effect. I feel a bit on an emotional roller coaster which isn't usual for me. I am excited about the thought of a BFP though!

[Leafmould]

Accidental exhibitionist, I'm so sorry for the tough time you have had, and wish you good luck for a bfp. I'm glad you feel positively already about the homeopathy. I have had fantastic results in my kids with homeopathy for eczema, asthma and constipation, and similarly it was when conventional medicine had nothing left to give. [hsmile]

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Hello, me again. I've just been on the conception section of mumsnet and had a look at all the pre-conception health check info and it's got me wondering if anyone is planning to get those tests done? Is that the norm or excessive?

I went to see my doctor recently and told her that we are going to ttc in December and she really only mentioned folic acid. I asked about checking my rubella immunity but she said that it should be fine as it was checked in my first pregnancy. I asked about toxoplasmosis testing but she was very against it. I didn't have my blood pressure checked or anything else.

I also have a mild/moderate uterine prolapse and she seemed surprised when I mentioned being concerned about it.

Do you think my doctor was being a bit rubbish or bog standard?

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

P.s. LoveYouForever thanks for the hug and sorry for your loss too. Encouraging to hear of your uneventful pregnancy post-miscarriage.

[Leafmould]

Hi Bridget, there's so many ways to respond to the things life chucks at us. I think it's important that we do not feel our responses are invalid, just because they are not typical. Which is a very long way of saying I'm really sorry for your loss!

I'm off to look at these conception health checks now, and I will let you know what my doctor offers when I eventually get round to asking her! (currently still on pill!)

[Leafmould]

Wow that is a very long list!

I think I need to check the date of my last smear... Is it every 3 or 5 years?

[MrsWajs]

Thanks for the birthday wishes for MissWajs Bridget :) And I reckon your Dr was pretty bog standard to be honest but then again we may both just have shit GPs!?

And thank you for the list Leafmould that would also have taken me ages!! Smears since you ask are every 3 years as far as I'm aware.

I haven't checked the pre-conception health checks and I don't think I will, I just took folic acid last time and that was fine!

Accidental I'm so so sorry to hear of your losses. I have a work colleague who has been in a similar situation to you but she has no children. She's had 5 or 6 miscarriages that I'm aware of although one was technically a still birth at 36 weeks :( and yet she still keeps on smiling through it all. She's currently 10 weeks pregnant and I really hope that it is going to work out for her this time. You and your OH are amazing for giving this another go :)

[LondonSuperTrooper]

Bridget My miscarriage left me in tatters. I was an emotional wreck and became depressed. Having had two scans I knew that there was no baby and that I had to go home and wait for nature to take it's course. I had a 1-1.5 weeks wait till the pains actually started and for the miscarriage to occur IYSWIM.
I then had to wait for almost two and half months for my periods to start again. Emotionally this took its toll on me. TTC at that time didn't even enter in the equation - I was not emotionally ready and I was grieving for the lost baby. I actually marked its due date - how sad is that?!
Like Leaf said, we all deal with it differently. What made it more painful is that it took me almost a year to fall pregnant only to miscarry the baby 9 weeks later

accidental I think that you are very brave and I take my hat off to you for getting on the bandwagon of this merry-go-round and giving it another go.

Leaf thanks for compiling the list.

Got to go - will be back at lunchtime.

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Good Morning London, I don't think that marking the due date is sad at all. I haven't decided what I want to do to mark mine, but have a few plans. Even if I just go for a swim and a nice lunch, I don't want it to be just another day.

I'm so glad that you now feel strong enough to try again, the limbo time waiting for it all to happen must have been torture.

I hope all the house move stuff is going well. Are you moving areas or just house? Will it mean much upheaval for your DS?

It isn't necessarily what I would have planned, but I'm now really excited about a lovely big age gap. I think having seen DD go through all the weaning, potty training, toddler tantrums, starting school etc will give me a different (hopefully more relaxed) approach to the baby and toddler years. I think DD is at an age where a new baby in the family would be hers as well as mine and DP's (if that makes any sense?)

Bit of a random question but does anyone else on the thread have a dog?

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

I have a cat.

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Hee, Hee, don't know why but that last post really made me giggle!