TTC Super Ovulation part 3

[Arianrhod]

Hey ladies -

There are a few of us who are ttc after mc's, however there will be ladies out there who are also ttc for the first time or second or third without success. If anyone is on, considering or had success on a super ovulation programme then do join us. How long did it take ? Did you try IUI with it.. ? Did you have PCOS?

Kicking this off and hoping some of you will join....

part 1 here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1385998-TTC-Super-Ovulation

Part 2 here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1475108-TTC-Super-Ovulation-part-2?pg=1

Crikey this humira business is complicated, isn't it? I do wonder a bit though, if it doesn't really reduce TNFa levels that much (as seems to happen to many ladies from reading around) why do they still prescribe it? Is it because sometimes it does work? Or because they don't know of anything else that can affect TNFa levels? I don't know, sometimes it feels to me like even the 'experts' don't really know what affects what. Just a thought.

mel I feel for you going through all this, what a trooper you are! Best of luck with the superov program, and I hope the humira does the trick. Re the steroids, I'd say if you are DTDing around ovulation time then you might want to take the steroids to make sure, but if you want to avoid pregnancy at this time then don't DTD around your fertile days and you can then not take the steroids. Entirely your choice, I would say!

pebbles Thanks for the advice - you're absolutely right, I'd love to take this chance, but I'm so worried OH will say No and that will be the end of my dream. I've always said he seems a whole lot less bothered about having a baby than I am, so I doubt he'll understand my strength of feeling that we should give this a try - especially with donor eggs. Sigh. Why is this process never easy?

pebbles Best of luck with your appt next week; which clinic(s) did you use before for IVF? Do Create also work with immunes, or will you stay with Mr S for that side of things? And sympathies for your conjunctivitis, my DD had that loads of times and then for the first time ever I caught it off her last year. It's very unpleasant! You using the Optrex drops for it? Thank goodness you can now buy them over the counter!

/waves to everyone

Thank hun I think I prob make it complicated for myself! I think I will take the steroids just in case but then I don't know whether i should whilst still having humira or if it will overload argh I don't know! But then if lucky to fall pregnant ill worry if humira was enough!!

Ari, what you have to think very carefully about it is whether in the long term you might feel resentment towards your OH if you didn't try this. The amount of time you spend on forums, the number of supplements you take, the research you undertake, etc. all show what an enormous emotional investment you have in this dream to have a baby.
This is the discussion that I had with my husband that led to him, after a few days of processing it, agreeing to superovulation. It wasn't exactly an ultimatum but I did make it very clear that it was very important to me, and this wasn't an issue you could compromise on very easily: he didn't especially want another baby and I did, but you can't have half a baby. As I say, I think he felt he was safe in saying yes, in the end, because he felt sure it would never happen, but I was happy with that.

To be honest, when he wasn't taking on board my feelings it had got to the point where if we didn't already have a son together I would have thought seriously about splitting up. My biological clock was ticking so loudly that I couldn't hear anything else. Although I don't know that that would have helped my plan to have a child as there would have been no way I would ever got over the one relationship, found another and been at the point of trying while I still had any eggs left!
My advice is to have a glass of wine before the conversation: it made me a bit more assertive and more in touch with my own feelings.
Of course, my poor DH couldn't really win, because now I've moved the goal posts and am thinking of IVF!
Mel, good luck and it sounds from what Louise says that you do need the pred too.

p.s. Ari, it was such a relief to have had this conversation with my DH. It got things out in the open that had been ignored and skirted around for months if not years. Our life had been going through the motions without any kind of communication on the big issues that were important to us, or at least they were brushed aside. I think men will try to ignore things as much as possible, for an easy life, but occasionally a wake-up call does them good! Up until then, whatever my husband said, went: whether we had pets, children, etc.
I'm not saying our life is a bed of roses now by any means, but I'm happy that he knows exactly what my feelings are now.
Of course, the flip side of that is, you might be frightened to push him away and maybe you don't want to rock the boat yourself. It all depends on what you really want and how much you want it.

Thanks brown though Louise doesn't want me to ttc til after second injection and start so again but it may be too late :( ill have to email and ask as worried why they don't like you to try on humira she said shed worry about no steroids from ov but think humira and pred don't mix well :/

Well, I got my answer. Not only does OH not want to do IVF he's decided he doesn't want a baby any more either. He's decided we can't afford to have a baby, and that he's too old. He's precisely 51. Hardly an old man, I would have said.

But he's decided, and that's that. I just have to deal with it now, somehow. :(

Oh ari I'm so sorry to hear this big hugs xxx

St Ari I am sooo sorry and wish I could do something to help. Can't imagine how peed off you must be feeling right now. Will you completely give up now or still try naturally on the quiet? Big hugs.xx

Thank you both. I am peed off, yes, but mostly upset, I keep crying :( Bit difficult with DD but fortunately she's mostly wrapped up with playing. OH had to go to work today which is probably just as well, I pretty much don't want him around me right now. I just keep thinking I've made yet another crappy choice of OH - wouldn't be the first - but my DD adores him. I don't know about trying naturally anymore .. I actually think my eggs are just too old and we won't get anywhere anyway. Don't know really, I'm just a bit too numb to think clearly. Bloody men.

Hi Ari Just caught up with the latest on this thread and I am really sorry to hear about your OH. My DH is similar to yours. Despite how much I wanted another child it was all me, me, me. Me who went to DR S, me who paid for the SO treatment and me who had to virtually pin him down every month. Sometimes I just wanted to run away and not come back but it is very difficult when you already have a DS. The solution was to just keep trying even though I didn't even like him sometimes. What are you supposed to do when you have just paid out for SO drugs and scan and then you have a row. £400 down the swanny and another wasted month. I struck lucky as you know but this was down to sheer perseverence. Today I have been crying for other reasons but the issue is still the same i.e. he doesn't listen to me at all because I feel he is basically not interested. The only plus was that he never said no to more children just no to treatment iVF, SO, etc. Your OH is probably thinking about it at work. My feelings are that if you want something badly and they don't help you then they are not worthy of your love. I am not saying that this is right but it is always what I have felt. Like someone else has said have a huge glass of wine and wait a few days before you tackle it again. Cross fingers that your OH has a heart in there somewhere.

Well OH has not said anymore about it, I'm completely withdrawn and he doesn't seem in the slightest bit bothered. To make things that little bit worse, I had emailed Serum asking some questions last week and the lovely Penny has suggested a phone consultation this Friday evening. Obviously this is pointless now, but I don't know how I could change his mind. His reasoning sounds just crazy to me; we could afford a baby (ok so we wouldn't be having 2 - 3 holidays a year anymore, but apparently that's very important to OH!) and for goodness' sake he's only just 51, many men have children older than that! It feels to me like he's just making excuses, but I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I know being withdrawn from him isn't going to make things better, but it seems I'm just not very good at coping with this - I was better at dealing with endless miscarriages.

Sorry to be a bit me me me, I don't really have anyone else who would understand. I have other friends with single children and they're all happy about it, I think they think I should be too. Aaarrggghhhh.

Ari, I really feel for you. It must feel as if you're trapped in an impossible situation. Your OH sounds so much like my DH. I know whatever reason my DH comes up with for not having another baby, if it were solved, he would find another. First it was because of my breakdown after DS's birth; then it was because of finances. Then when I suggest free IVF, he admits he simply doesn't really want another baby. Golf and holidays are more important to him.
I also have thought to myself, there must be other men out there who would have been happy to have a baby with me, to support me emotionally and financially. Surely my own husband should want to make babies with me? But I had to choose one who doesn't. The irony is he's really family oriented. But he doesn't seem to see that if no one has any children, there won't be much of his family left eventually, especially as he's an only child himself.
I really don't know what to suggest Ari. I wonder if your OH is just going to try to brush this under the carpet forever and act as if nothing has happened. I think I would have had a major meltdown at this point.
This morning I had a faint line on a test, 10dpo ... But I know it's a fluke of the test, as usual.

Ari I hope you find a way through this I know my oh will draw the line somewhere and he said he def won't want one at 50 as he thinks that's too old as he wants some life just me and him :/ ?!
Pebbles hope you're ok
Brown really hope this is it for you
Louise said I can't take pred as well as it will suppress too much so just need to test early then take if need be.
Why is it all so complicated?!

ari not sure what to say. Hope things improve for you and that the pair of you can find a way forward. He may just need a bit more time to come round to the idea.

brown very sneaky way to annouce BFP. hope this one works out for you

Mel, that really is complicated!
Really hope you're okay, ari. I feel bad announcing my news when you're so low.
I can't believe this but this is the first unequivocal BFP in over 4 years. And I'm off to Poland tomorrow for DH's birthday! I haven't even told him yet.
This is the first time I've taken pred since last year, I think, so maybe I'm beginning to believe in it again.
Have just emailed Louise to ask for more pred and Cyclogest. My pred ran out last year, having been prescribed in 2008!

Ooh brown no, don't feel bad, I'm really pleased for you!! Fingers crossed it's a good strong line, and hope to goodness that it carries on well! You took 10mg pred from ovulation this time, is that right?

mel I have read oversuppression is a bad thing, you need some inflammation for an implantation. So presumably the humira would be enough of an immunosuppressant for a pregnancy to establish itself, and then you can take the pred once you get a BFP. Sounds positive to me :) Remember there are ladies on the pred thread with v high NKcells who only took pred from BFP anyway, and they were successful.

brown I think you are actually right, I think he is going to try to just pretend nothing ever happened. I'm damned if I'm going to let that happen this time. Problem is, while I'm p*d off enough that I'd be prepared to actually end the relationship - he clearly doesn't care that much for me! - there's my DD to think of, she adores him and it would be horrendous for her if we split. He's been there for her for as long as she can remember, and she really loves him. I do love him too, honestly, but this has been a big slap in the face for me; he thinks more of money and his precious time than he does of me, obviously. I'm still really unhappy, but getting more angry by the day. Which isn't good, I know. Sorry, rant off!

brown Enjoy your trip to Poland, what a fantastic way to celebrate DH's birthday! Try not to mental too much (yes, I know, easier said than done), and hope you have a great time.

Hi Ari sorry that I haven't posted sooner. I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time persuading your OH. You so deserve a break and have always been such a support/mine of information to everyone on these threads, I just hope there is a way through this for you.

Whispered congrats Brown, enjoy Poland and I echo what Ari said re the mentalling.

Wow brown about time we had more good news that's great and enjoy Poland wow!!
Hope everyone else is ok esp ari, sending a virtual hug and thanks for the advice yes that's what I'm doing now so fingers crossed xx

Thanks so much mel, belly and ari. I really hope you can sort things out, ari: I think anger might be more constructive than you think in the long run, if it means talking about your feelings. I echo what Belly says; you've always been there for everyone and certainly picked me up off the floor after my horrendous AMH results. (Two fingers in the face of dire ovarian reserve, btw!)
Best wishes to everyone. Hopefully Poland will be a mental-free zone! xx

Ari hope you are doing ok, so sooty you have all this crap to do deal with. What you could really do with from your oh is some support, but you know we are here for you do rant away.

Brown was very excited to read your news, lots of luck and kept us updated.

Well I am off to see Mr S tomorrow for the blood test results, feel like from here on will be hemoraging ££££ in treatment!! I need to get myself into gear though with the big 40 looming this year. Once I find out about the humira injections tomorrow I can make an appointment with Create. Not looking forward to telling Mr S that we don't be doing ivf with him....

Have bend looking into these red spots on my face and it seems steroids can give you steriod acne. Going to see if I can get reffered to a dermatologist through my private health care as not much else I can try now.

Waves to anyone who is lurking.

Hey hun good luck for tomorrow let me know xx

Took a erothymcyn last night for hidden infection and it made me feel sick, hot, dizzy and rather funny! Not sure i want to take another! Is this normal? It went away after 15 min but I felt awful x

mel Hmm Erithromycin didn't have that effect on me, but looking at what Agate on Fertility Friends suggests, have you tried this? (bear in mind Penny's advice to avoid dairy for one hour before and after taking it)

erithro - take with a substantial breakfast (e.g, big bowl of porridge made with water or 2 thick slices of toast) and evening meal (again, no dairy) plus a big glass of water. take omeprazole 20mg at least 30 mins beforehand.

you can also take a probiotic at lunchtime

I didn't need the omeprazole, but I know some people do. Hope this helps!

Erythromycin, sorry, spelling slip!

Thanks ari I felt ill after my first pill last night after dinner all I can think is that I had a milky drink but thought it was an hour before. Anyway thanks for your advice xx