TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

[woody17]

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

Hi scared really sorry you are still in do much pain and not getting enough support. Hope it gets better soon.

Morning one and all - it's a new week, let's hope it's going to be a good one!

Quin I think as long as you keep it to a reasonable amount - a glass of vino or two every so often - you're not going to do any damage. I managed to beat myself up after the MC because I'd had a few glasses before we found out I was pg, but I know that was illogical (didn't stop me doing it!). Dirty weekend sounds amazing, if only I could persuade the DH and the bank manager that it's a good idea for us too!

munchin any sign of AF? Could you have ovulated late and therefore tested too early?

lol god only knows - spotting, AF, some other freakish hormonal trickery? Brown spotting back again this morning, but for how long I wonder..definitely not a normal period anyway. I've got a doctor's appointment on Fri so if it's still going by then I'll go and have a whinge at them.

scared glad you've got a friend coming round, you need support right now. You're welcome here as long as you want to be!

Fab name change Hopeful
You are always welcome here Scarred . Glad you have a supportive friend coming round 2mor. I was told if the pain continued when the bleeding stopped then to see a Doctor. Hope the physical pain at least stops soon.

Thanks for all you Birthday wishes. Enjoyed the weekend with DH and DS but yesterday was hard as went for lunch with my best friend and she is 7 weeks pregnant and I was just a few weeks behind her. Felt really of her feeling sick ind generally the unfairness of it all. Her baby will always be a reminder of what I have lost. Hope it's my turn for a sticky one next!

Welcome Quin . Sorry you find yourself on this thread. I have found a lot of support here from people who understand.

Can't remember who said they have been decorating Think I fancy doing my bedroom too. May make a start today clearing out some junk for the charity shop.

quin drinking will make no difference whatsoever before implantation and it shouldn't affect development either until at least week 5 when the fetal pole starts developing. I wouldn't go ott as it's not healthy anyway but a few glasses and a little buzz won't make any difference in the early days. In the beginning of my TTC days I would avoid alcohol and live as if PG during the 2ww but after several months I stopped that as it makes no difference anyway and it was just adding to the mentalling. Now I make no changes other than to try to lead a healthy lifestyle in general to boost my fertility.

Regarding people saying inappropriate things, I found this blog which is quite funny:

thingspeoplesaidaftermymiscarriage.blogspot.com

I agree about the drinking. We've been TTC for 15m now, that's a long time to be teetotal. I wouldn't get bladdered either, but I don't think a glass of wine is going to do any harm.

scared hope you are coping ok today. Of course you are welcome here whether you are TTC again or not. We all need people who understand.

I'm so not coping today I live in wales but from London all my best mates are there I have no one here I feel so down and alone my only friend is my boss that also just served me a dissaplinary letter for being off sick so angry and so very alone dh sorted it all rang hr said we are taking legal action coz this is the last thing I need on top of waiting for my appt Fri to see if we have just lost our 3rd baby in 10 months sorry for ranting I have nothing else

Like the name change when!! We all could do with a shot of hope.

Baby I'd say that was so hard seeing your friend. Agree bet cure is to get pg ASAP!!! If only it were that simple. Glad your birthday went ok

I agree with messtins and medusa on having a few glasses vino while ttc.

Peanut sorry af is still teasing you and not fully arrived yet. I have still had no af either and on cd 34 now. I defo not pg. we haven't dtd enough. I don't know should I start back using opk? I'm at a loss what to do.

Scared I'm so sorry you've had a really crap day. I can't believe your boss and they are supposed to be a friend??? Bravo to your dh!!! I don't know the law in uk but I'm sure it must be on your side and they will have to pull their horns in. Things must seem very bleak at moment but keep talking whether it be here or on phone to friends. Don't bottle it up.

Today, Monday 15 October, marks International Babyloss Awareness Day, a time to remember and mark the brief lives of babies who died in pregnancy, at birth or in infancy.
Tonight at 7.00pm I light 2 candles in memory of all the angel babies and as a sign of hope for us all.

'Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith; it is the price of love'

hi girls,

haven't been on here in a while, just lingering in the background a bit. scared i'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. it really is the toughest of times. i honestly didn't know sadness like it - i've felt emotions i've never felt before. I hope you can get through this horrible time.

i managed to go back into work today (had d&c on 4th october) and it was hard but i'm glad to get back into a routine even though being off has made me realise how much i hate my job. my doc offered me another weeks sickline but i couldn't afford it and i think i was finally close to being ready to face the world again.

but thankfully the bleeding seems to have finished so i'm thinking it's time to get back on the DTD band wagon! AF was always a 50 day cycle since i came off the pill so lord knows how long she will take to reappear this time :( but got some cheapo ovulation tests off ebay that seemed to do the trick last time so fingers crossed it doesn't take too long

xx

Scared I agree with Mango that it's not good to bottle things up. Sorry you are feeling alone.

I'l third the not totally giving up drinking. I cut loads of things out over the last few months and still lost 2 pregnancies. A few glasses of wine arn't going to make a difference in my opinion.
I liked that blog Medusa kept me entertained a while earlier.
Mango have just ordered myself another box of OPK's. Clear Blue are going to break my bank!!!

hopeful I'm sorry I don't know this - but who were you before you were hopeful??

baby never heard of pregnancy and infant loss day but it's a lovely idea. I've lit my candles. A bit late, but it's got to be 7 o'clock somewhere in the world! A few tears shed, but still holding out hope for the future x

munchin AF is a total b*h! I still don't know if she's arrived or not, one minute I'm sure she must have and the next, nothing again! Annoying... It's more than just spotting when it happens but not enough to be a definitive period. Hope yours turns up soon. Flipping WTF cycle - in some ways, I hate it more than the miscarriage itself, it's just keeping the whole horrible experience dragging on. I'm undecided about the OPKs, they didn't pick up when I ov'd last time but I think I might get some anyway, because now I'm not sure whether this counts as the start of a new cycle or just some annoying spotting in the middle of the same one. Gaaah.

janie good luck with the baby-making

scared I didn't realise they'd sent you home without a definitive answer. I'm really shocked they'd do that, no wonder you're in pieces. Can you get your DH to phone the EPU again and ask them to move the appointment forward? In the nicest possible way you don't seem to be coping all that well, and I'm sure the uncertainty isn't helping, you just need to know. Perhaps if he can convey how upset you are they'd see you more urgently. I hope your friend can help lift your mood a little tomorrow xxx

medusa thanks for the blog, not easy to find anything that treats miscarriage with a bit of humour and I think you need that sometimes!

Right, off to bed, up at 5 for a nice 12 hour shift on antenatal ward. Sigh.

Hi peanut I am WhenSheWasBadSheWadFeelingHorrid (or WhenSheWasBadSheWadAnOrange).

Glad you like the name change baby and munchin definitely needed something more positive than Horrid.

scared I am so at your work. They can't count pregnancy related sickness against you (and that includes mc). It's discrimination and you have a really strong case. I am absolutely fuming on your behalf, best of luck with the legal action.

Well I had my consultant appointment today for recurrent mc / chem pregs. It was actually the junior doctor who saw he. To be honest I don't really think he knew his stuff and just wanted to sign me up for a trial to see if progesterone reduces the risk of mc.
He will run a load of tests on me and dh but says as we have bad dd be thinks they will all come back normal.

Welcome back Janie . Also about to start DTD again and hoping for a sticky one this time. My cycle was also very long and ovulated very late last month. Now had 2 MC in a row so hoping for 3rd time lucky. I'm also with you on hating my job!
Gosh Peanut that's a long shift! Glad you also light your candle. I saw it on the Miscarriage Association website.

Hopeful I am also waiting for an appointment with the local hospital as had 2 MC and 1 chemical this year. I have read positive stories about taking Progesterone. What are your thoughts about it. Do you know what tests you will have. I have been researching but it seems to vary wildly depending on consultant! Oh for the simple life hey!
Scared hope your friend still visits and she can give you a bit of RL support.

Have we heard from KittyKats for a while?

hopeful I was on progesterone supplements (mine was at 11) but it obviously didn't help me. Apparently it only really helps when a miscarriage is due solely to low progesterone. Low progesterone can impair implantation. Still, if there's a chance it can save a mc, I'd use it again.

Janie its good your moving on and feeling stronger going back to work really helped me last time but its always hard after a lot of time off I'm kinda envious this stage is so awful if I need another d &c I want to just get on with it and move on like yourself keep strong it does get easier thats why I'm kicking myself I was really getting there after the last two now I'm back to square one again :-/

babyJames I am not bottling things up as much as before I talk to my partner but no one else at the mo last time I shut him out too so thats progress! Its harder at the mo as my mums very poorly and was my sisters birthday yesterday so don't wanna bother them! Dh2b is being amazine this time though and he's taken it real hard too!

peanut your right I'm not boring great and it is the waiting in my heart I know its gone but we have to Walt to have a re scan a week later because its could be too early to see heartbeat so they always say come back a week later last time we had the same thing but for 4 weeks it was agony! They won't do anything different these useless anyway!

hopeful my partner went off his head they have agreed to apologize in person on paper and write a letter confirming all my sick days are written off and my disaplinary has been scrapped and I've been given a clean slate and as much time as I need as I rang all the human rights helpline's and they are breaking equality laws and code of practice could have wiped the slate clean with them but I love my job so I'm happy with an apology just didn't need to have to deal with all that got enough on my plate :-(

scared here's to supportive partners! Mine really saved me and this would have been a much different experience without his help. What made it so surprising is that he isn't like that, he's very rational and doesn't really understand emotions. My tears are usually met with indifference but he really pulled it out for me during this time and I'm absolutely amazed at how supportive and understanding he has been, it has blown me away. We have been through a lot together recently, some of which has pulled us apart but this has definitely brought us together, closer than ever. I don't know how I would have done it without him.

scared I'm so glad the work issue has been resolved. Hope you start to feel better soon.

missMedusa thanks for the info. So sorry about your mc at 11, that must have been horrendous. I lose them really early (chem pregs). So maybe extra progesterone would help implantation?

baby my tests are, thrombophilia screening, anti cardiolipin antibodies, anti phospholipid antibodies and lupus anticoagulant.
Also dh and I are having our genes checked to see if we are incompatible and any fetus produced would have chromosomal abnormalities (dd seems healthy so hopefully there is no problem there).

I think the other tests are to see if my blood is clotting too much and causing the placenta to fail or if my body is attacking the embryo.

hi Whenshewas... so interesting to hear about your tests... please could you let us know how you get on? Were any of them invasive and/or how do they check? Are they all bloodtests? I have an appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic on the 25th October. Pretty sure they'll just say that my eggs are too old!

scared - what a nightmare for work. Like you need the stress on top of everything else. Some managers really need to get up to speed on the basic legal issues around employment.

I've not been posting for a while as all the BFNs and trying is making me just plain sad! I forgot to turn off a few of my pregnancy apps and got a notice today that i'm now on my 19th week of pregnancy. Ummmm... waaaahh! I am DTD this week and weekend hopfully ovulating on Monday. Really hoping I can get my 42 year old egg to conceive this week before I turn 43!!

hopeful sorry, I meant that my progesterone levels were at 11 which is very low. I had my D&C at 7 weeks. It may well help you if you MC early as it helps with implantation. I'm not sure if it would help if your progesterone levels are normal but it's worth looking into. Have you had your progesterone levels checked?

My DH was also amazingly good with my mc. I did not expect that. He even missed a concert he had been planning for ages just to stay at home and cuddle me. I was gobsmacked!

I hope I will get my Progesterone levels checked too. My losses are also all early so would be good to know if that was the reason.
Hi there Suzy I did something similar with the pregnancy apps (twice!). Big hug for you. Think we maybe cycle buddies this month. Should be due to ovulate Monday unless I get another messed up cycle! FX for us this time.
Thanks for the testing info Hopeful I hope they find some answers for you.
What tests are you having next Medusa ? Hope you also find some answers.
Scared glad that work has been sorted out at least for you. Sorry to hear your Mum is unwell too. Hope you have been able to meet with your friend today.
So lovely to hear of everyone's supportive partners :)

babyjames I think i remember you from the TTC in March thread. Back then life was sweet and I was only one m/c in!! good luck with the TTC this month.

I had a dream last night where I was older and my two daughters were coming to visit me which i think is a good omen. C'mon DD#2!!

I agree here here to supportive partners.

Scared, I'm glad dh sorted your work out. At least that's one worry out of the way. Thinking of you for Friday.

Baby thats a lovely quote re grief, yes it was baby loss day yest.
I too am a very good customer of clear blue lol!!!

When you are certainly having very comprehensive tests by sounds of it. Fx yous get an answer.

Peanut ditto to AF!!! That must be so hard working on an antenatal ward and a 12 hour shift to boot.

Janie glad to hear you are coming out the other side. That is crap having such long cycles.

Suzy I hear you loud and clear , I feel too its the egg quality is the issue for us coupled with very irregular AF. That's why I have put off Hou g to doc as I don't think there is much to be done. But chin up maybe it will happen yet.

I decided maybe it might be idea to start temping. I have a first response monitor I used when ttc dc1 so I fetched it out of back of wardrobe. I know it can't make me pg but I feel like I am trying something.

Well I would have said my DH was immensely practically supportive at the time but can't get his head around the emotional side of things at all, but he has gone and booked a builder to come round to talk about our new kitchen diner which I've been waiting 2.5yrs for. I think this is his way of doing something positive and having something to look forward to. I'll take what I can get