TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

[woody17]

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

...err...I meant 12dpo, not the 12th. No fun in waiting until AF arrives, I need my POAS fix!

Erm I'm not picking up... Baubles what is your old name? maybe you are kate
Loving the B names and sure this is the way to go for bfps!

Ok I've got a real question for once...

A new job has come up for a different company and I've been offered an interview for it. As far as I can tell if be eligible for stat mat pay if I get pg from when I start but not if I am pg before I start the job.

I don't even know if I want this job or not- was going to go to interview and check it all out and then make a decision if I was offered it. However, does this mean we should be stopping ttc at the moment, to give myself as many options as possible? The thought of using contraception again and being out of the game fills me with dread even though it would only have to be for a couple of months if I got the job and wanted it.

Am I being a plonker?

What is your maternity leave package in your current job? Is it worth risking? When is the interview?

It's all just statutory in either job and the pay isn't much more in the new one so I'd be financially very similar in either.

The interview is 20th Dec...

I'm more than happy to hang around as I want to see you all getting your bfps.
I poas on 13 dpo of third cycle after mc. Good job it was a bfp as I was starting to get really down.

Sorry about your bfn Munchin I hope it was a false negative.

I think there should be no more poasing until your names begin with b!!

Bombastic & Banana just a few more days to go and maybe you'll get that bfp. I used an opk and a pg test and got quite a dark line on both (???)

The Kate news has made over to Spain. It must be hard for her to go through pg in the public eye but I bet she has an amazing medical team on hand, like you said Banana.

I wonder if I should buy another test to do in a few days.

Ps nice to meet you dietcoke

Ha blundercats very good, go to the top of the class! Re: jobs - personally I'd keep ttc, go for the interview, and hopefully you'll know by the time you get offered the job whether you're up the duff or not. If you are: keep old job, if you're not: take new job. Bear in mind this comes from the point of view of a total obsessive when it comes to getting knocked up - I have a priority list of one thing at the moment!

In other news, my positive attitude/self delusion streak continues. I'm certain I have more CM than usual (sorry to those eating lunch) and a bit of a weird lower abdo nagging pain, probably due to doing crunches last night, but which I am interpreting as implantation pains. I know I'm being ridiculous but it must be my turn but can't help but hope!

Thank you peanut, and then if, and I know this is a big IF, I'm not pg and I get offered job, I think is only get maternity being its if I'm not pg when I start the job. So would you stop ttc while you worked out your notice if you were in my shoes? (I am fully aware that it will now take me years to get of again and this trifling over a few months will seem ridiculous in the future). Or maybe just worry about that if and when it comes to it..?!

Are you in Spain, Betty? Do you have cb digi there? If so you could do one and see if the numbers go up?
I think feeling hopeful about symptoms is a good thing- hope is a positive emotion isn't it? 6 more days til poas for you then

Ps do I get a gold star or are my rewards more subterfuge than that?

blol I was SallysTrying.

peanut yes yes. I will try to not test till 12dpo, which is the day AF is due. I think that's the 12th. (I have never held out past 10dpo ever). Hooray for thinking positive though. BFPs for Christmas. Definitely.

blundercats I don't think I'd stop ttc unless it's your dream job - if you're not sure you actually want it I don't think you should stop just in case. Stopping while working out your notice... for me, probably depends how long your notice is. I think one cycle probably bearable, more than that would be pretty difficult.

blundercats aaaaaah I see, I forgot that for people who are not perpetual students there is a thing called 'notice' haha. I'm still tempted to say keep going. You'd get statutory maternity allowance if you hadn't been working long enough, that's the same amount as maternity pay except the first 6 weeks which admittedly would put you out of pocket, but at least you'd get something. But then I'm currently actively trying to scupper my chances of getting a job after graduation, if I get a BFP for Christmas then I'll have a nice obvious bump just in time for interview season so maybe I'm not the best person to give advice...

But yes, you can have a gold star, and a smiley face for effort!

baubles oh goody, well you and I can go bonkers together then. I'll try not to break before the 12th!

oh i need to get a 'b' name now or i'll feel left out!

and a wee question - did any of you have a d&c? i had one on 4th October and still no AF. i've put on nearly a stone even though i've been eating the same and exercising more - not sure if that's related but just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar?

I didn't have a d&c janie but it was over 3 months before AF returned. I definitely got fatter but that's because I was comfort eating, so couldn't be sure it was anything to do with the MC. It's the most frustrating wait ever, I feel for you! AF eventually showed up after I went and had acupuncture. Could be coincidence, but helped me feel that I was being proactive anyway! Hope it's not too much longer to wait xxx

Ahh that's all for the advice (and the star!), I'm glad you don't all think I'm weird for not wanting to stop ttc.

Hi janie, yeah I did. Well ERPC. I had mine on 13th Nov and no af but that's only 4 weeks ago now. Did they say anything when you were last at the clinic? One of the leaflets I was given said if no af in 4-6 weeks do a hpt, but I guess you know you're not pg at this point?

I read sonething about weight gain after ERPC and soneone put on one forum about it being linked occasionally to thyroid issues, so it could be worth discussing with GP?

thanks girlies. ah yes i actually thought about thyroid - my mum has and underactive thyroid (on medication for it now) and she found it difficult to shift weight so it could be that. i'm defo not pg (i wish!!) and my hcg levels are really low (i have been monitored since d&c as they had misdiagnosed me with the molar pregnancy - was under strict instructions to use protection as wasn't allowed to ttc)

getting fatter and spottier and feeling crap aarrrgghhh :( come on hormones - be nice for once!!!!

It's shit isn't it? Not only having to deal with a mc, but all the crap that goes along with it too. I think it would be much more fair if we only had one thing to deal with at once- pg and hormonal or mc + feeling healthy and looking gorgeous. No consolation I know, and I know which I'd choose, but just saying....

Give me pg and hormonal any day!! I I had a follow up 2 wks ago and the dr asked had my periods returned, I said no but she didn't really comment and I wasn't thinking properly to ask. It's properly shit!!

I think af might have arrived here (either that it wtf more bleeding). Hooray!

janie, maybe that's something to do with your question.... I'll will some menstrual luck back your way.... (but maybe you should still talk to your doc)

That's quick blunder! How it's real af. That means you are well with a chance of bfp with all the shagging!
I would not stop because of job. You don't even know of you will like it! Play it by ear and see what happens.

oh wow blunder woohoo - ok someone ask me and then mine might come too haha!!! yay for AF! never been jealous of someone getting AF before heehee!!!

Sorry lol, what do you mean? If it is af, the shagging will have to start all over again. Ho hum

Yeah thanks blol, I'll try to do one thing at a time

janie yep that might work, probably not me asking you, but what the hell- anyone else had a d&c here and still waiting on af?

Hiya everyone,

Lol that is good news about the scan and good you are getting a follow up one too!

Blunder yeah for AF! I felt so happy when mine returned after the mc! I think with the TTC you have to do what ever is right for you. We waited a couple of weeks then started again. Stopped for a couple then started again indecisive moi. I also had a very similar job dilemma to you about a month ago and did lots of research. Basically you are right in that if you get the job pg then you will only get maternity allowance which is minimal (you will still get something though). If you are not pg before you will still get statutory. I guess my only concern was the stress of having a new job would put me under and whether that would stop me being able to get pg and also if I did get pg quickly then how would my new employers feel. In the end the job didn't materialise so all my stressing wasn't worth it and I am now pg so the decision is out of my hands!

Janie fx yours will arrive soon too! Have you tried any accupuncture or relexology. Lots sware by it! I had reflexology before this BFP so I am obviously swearing by it !

Peanut big fx for implantation cramps. It must be your turn next!

So my news is that I decided not to play netball which I feel relieved about. I am shattered too and not sure how I would have managed anyhow! I had to confess to the Captain as she was suspicious anyway. She was lovely but feel a bit weird telling people so early. Went to the Docs too and he just took my blood pressure asked me a few questions and that was that. Apparently I have to ring the midwife clinic in a few weeks time and 'book in'. Also seeing my kidney specialist tomorrow to see what he has to say (not only have I got mc to worry about but kidneys that dont work too well). Hopefully all is well and I can get through to 12 weeks!

Blunder I meant with af you can continue to shag and I think you have a good chance of being ovulating if its come back so early!
Glad you made up your mind almond. Are you likely to get a scan?
I had a similar situation to your netball one. I've been practising for a dance exam in two weeks time, and hosp said I had to speak to teacher. I talked to her today and she doesn't want me to take the exam at all. I'm a bit gutted but she is the expert and I have to trust her. She said jive and cha cha are too quick for me to risk it. Oh well.

Well I was full of the joys of spring because I thought I was on CD1. But it's just, well, stopped. It was the pinky type blood they tell you a little bit of is fine when you're pregnant, but then nothing else. Oh well, hopefully it'll hurry up.

Lol its catch 22 isnt it. I feel a bit sorry to miss the match but on the other hand dont want to risk anything! I also dont want to get fat if you know what I mean! Might try some swimming next week. The doc basically said that I just need to hold tight and try not to worry (I asked about cramps). But I will get referred to a specialist obstrician by the kidney consultant to look after me and I think I will see them sooner than the normal 12 weeks. I didnt make it far enough last time to find out! Just need to get through the first trimester then I will need to worry about the old kidders!