Round up your ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties, the BESH are going to scare out the BFPs!

[sinkyroselee]

Its true, NGCECOAWT, so the BESH move on.

Join us in spooky October, for a different sort of Pagen fun. Sod the lentil weaving and organic bean bags, we're channelling pointy black hats, green tinged foundation and probably a bit of Harry Potter.

Join us for cursing of the insta-diffs, moments of pure love and the horrors of the cam of the fanjo - post the Beshtionnaire and the coven will judge you.

This is not a woo thread (TINAWT)

You know, I just want to magically diff you in the right place.

I say!

From everything I've read, the only aspect of tubal function that can be checked is whether or not the tubes are blocked. If the little wafty hairs are dead, there is just no way of knowing.

Maybe I should just use one of my forthcoming appointments to ask about private IVF.

I too worry about little wafty hairs, Norf, though in this case the little hairs which grab the egg after it's been laid from the ovary into the toob. I've got a suspicion all mine are being dropped en route. You know, the more I read about conception, the more I am that anyone ever manages it at all. After Teh Sechs yesterday, I did the usual fruitless lying still for 15 minutes afterwards, and when I later went to the loo, it all just fell out anyway. How do the little blighters even navigate their way through the cervix, let alone all the other miraculous stuff?

Oh god, the little hairs! I'd forgotten about those [adds "wafty hairs" to list of things to worry about].

Well, it's official: nursey has said the bloods are correct and it's all systems go. I commence stabbing tonight. She said I have to do it at the same time every day in the evening, so I'm going with 7.30. Gonna have to set a reminder on my phone to get the vial out of the fridge a la Drizz's advice.

Not sure what advice to give you about your appointment Norf , but have a trout anyway

Have you thought about a moon cup, ariel? On the lesbian self-insemination sites it recommends putting one up there to hold the spermz closer to the cervix for a while longer.

Eeeek, fsr! Stab well, my friend.

No I hadn't, Norf! Er, what were you doing on there? Just out of interest?

Hurrah for the stabbing, Frankel.

Ooo, that's an idea. And to think, my mooncup will arrive in the next couple of weeks.

HOTB was almost crying with laughter at the idea of a mooncup though. He seems to think it's basically a sink plunger... not that far off though really

I'm not sure a mooncup, etc. helps. I think the ones that would make it through the womb and up the tubes are through the cervix like a rat up a drainpipe anyway, and the stuff that falls out is just the useless 90-odd percent and the semen. Or at least I read that on t'interweb somewhere or other.

I hope the stabbing goes well FSR and have everything crossed that the mister can be in the right place at the right time for you!

MrA has a ridiculously high number of spermz but low motility. I can't help feeling that even though numerically speaking there are plenty of good swimmers, there are that many shit ones, that the good ones keep crashing into the others and getting confused.

HOTB is the same, Ariel - he described it as factory production, you know, all high quantity low quality etc. Motility is okay but there are painfully few that are the right shape, but apparently because there's so many millions of them the actual numbers are perfectly reasonable. There's not that much volume, though, but that only makes the number of spermz per ml higher anyway, I suppose. Arrrgh, it's all so frustrating. I'd go for the turkey baster option if it was on the NHS as there's technically nothing wrong, but weirdly we have to choose the more invasive option because that way it's affordable! Bizarre, really.

You and I seem to be almost identical, draf.

I sometimes wonder if I should just succumb to the barren cliche and get myself a whole bunch of

Oh I LOVE Maine Coons!

We bought my cat one of those in an effort to combat her increasing girth. She took one of two lame swipes at it, worked out very quickly that it wasn't a real thing, and from then on ignored it. She is an obesity statistic.

Frankel, those are GORGEOUS. My ILs have three of them, they were so much fun as tinies. Now they're big they're more aloof but so beautiful. I think it was one of that breed that was used as Mrs Norris in the Harry Potter films.

I wish my cats had obese tendencies. As it is they're so very old and so very thin. Our oldest has, in the vet's words, "nothing left to lose". They get breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and second dinner every day and still she's so bony. It'd help if they thought people food was edible, as then I could feed them fattening stuff, but they refuse to touch anything except cat food and the occasional bit of milk or cheese.

They're the biggest domestic cats in the world, according to The Encyclopedia of Cats, which is sitting on my shelf. I get it out occasionally to squee at the kittens, sad barren that I am.

I wish my cat was skinnier! Every time we go to the vet, I am treated like a Bad Owner who feeds her double cream for every meal. She has a heart murmer, apparently because of her fatness, though she seems in rude health to me and only acts ill when there's someone there to give her sympathy and make me look bad. She eats those highly expensive crunchy biscuits which are made from pure peacock and venison, at least they should be for the price. Apparently she needs it for weight management .

OldCat also has a heart murmur! We really ARE twins

We can't feed ours biscuits any more, StupidCat seems to have developed an affliction where if she eats biscuits she throws up. No idea why, but it's easy enough to only feed them meat instead.

We want to get a Maine Coon kitten as company for our moggy. She's an only child and can be a bit odd. We figure getting a kitten will be easier for her to adjust to, as a result I am currently spending a lot of time on this page

Oh my little fluffy darlings!

ariel, a lesbian friend did artificial insemination. Pregnant with one plunge of the syringe. Twice.

Oh FatCat throws up regularly, usually on the bedroom rug. She does it out of spite.

at the lesbian differ.

Oh the dear little thing!

He looks like my darling fluffy boy, aries! Except mine is a moggy, obviously.

Fluffy

Oh, CUTE!

StupidCat has not thrown up anything except hairballs unless she steals biscuits from the neighbours since we stopped feeding her biscuits, so we figure it must be pretty straightforward cause and effect.

Frankel - I can ask the ILs which breeders they got their Maine Coons from, if you like? They got the first two from one place and the third from another so have done a bit of shopping around.

Ooo, that would be kind of you evil. HWHNN has his heart set on a tabby (aka "a stripey one")