Round up your ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties, the BESH are going to scare out the BFPs!

[sinkyroselee]

Its true, NGCECOAWT, so the BESH move on.

Join us in spooky October, for a different sort of Pagen fun. Sod the lentil weaving and organic bean bags, we're channelling pointy black hats, green tinged foundation and probably a bit of Harry Potter.

Join us for cursing of the insta-diffs, moments of pure love and the horrors of the cam of the fanjo - post the Beshtionnaire and the coven will judge you.

This is not a woo thread (TINAWT)

Agreed faif, we'd have all had our heads chopped off if we'd been married to Henry VIII and not produced the heir

I'm feeling oddly calm about tomorrow at the moment. Thankfully I have the day off work, but I anticipate the waterworks kicking in at some point

Good luck for the potion-mixing and stabbing this morning, fsr.

How is everything down there, faif? Spotting is a horrid thing to see. Has it all stopped now?

How did the stabbing go, frankel? Do I need to hold hands (or the vials)?

Yay for missing DA last night as I would have fumed at the telly jefferson. But also, of course, there was nothing to do about long-term TTC at that time. I still feel that the let's-just-try-anything for unexplainednes is a very mixed blessing. Of course, I am happy that it exists, but I just hate the feeling of being on a runaway train hurtling towards IVF and/or childlessness, without any rhyme or reason for the baybee absence.

How's the spotting, faif? And the kidney pains? Hope you're okay!

I missed your hcg numbers of the weekend, norf, is it going down-down-down? And are you ready to go back to work, or would a tactical (or accidental) wail be just the ticket? I'd say ask both the buttoned up Victorian Count Northsome and the belly which is where I store my irrational thoughts

Right, working from home on a course assignement. So I'll be here relatively often today :)

Oh and lusher than lush, eurowitch! I am jealous. I just spent all my money on exercise stuff, and paying bills. Next month maybe...

Should work well with a bellowing cloak, lined with red silk to stay on theme.

Appointment is at 10. Need my baseline scan/blood tests before I know how much to inject.

Got to have a chat with the nurses first as it now turns out that HWHNN has 2 overseas trips in November that will take him away for about 10 days in total. They may say its not worth starting this cycle if there is a chance he will not be here at the right time

I "forgot" hospital appointment yesterday, "lemon", so as to have an extra day with AMNH. About to phone now to apologise and ask of I can come in today. I can't see that it will be a medical problem - they haven't been fussy so far about tests being exactly 7 days apart.

The thing about extra time off is that it would mean it would overlap half term, so AMNH and I could have some proper time together. On the other hand, if the GP thinks there is no medical need for further time off, I might just ask work if I can follow sick leave with a week of annual leave and explain why. Still not really sure what to say to her - I've never been asked to come in for a mentalness follow up session before.

Good luck at scan, frankel. And AAAARGH at HWHNN's timetable. How are we meant to conceive in these circumstances? It's not professional!

Keeping stuff crossed and waving wands about for excellent baseline scannage and stuff, so you get away with low menopur dosages. Oh and magicking HWNN in the country at the right time.

On aargh timing issues, my cd1 of yesterday does mean another 2 cycles off (because we're off to Italy for two weeks in a month) so we'll have to go for a diff au naturale, I guess.

Well done for forgetting norf more time with AMHN is good for you. I cannot imagine it being a problem. And eek at mentalness follow-up. Having some time off to actually spend with the man sounds good. What did you do in the previous appointment to get signed off, just wailing right? I am sure you can achieve that again!

I have my next counseling sesh on Thursday and am already scared. But in a weird way the writing stuff down has given me a bit of a calm and closure-ish feeling. Also, SB took some pictures of me while diffed and whereas I found them horrifying, particularly one where I clearly completely focussed on what was happening inside me, I now really value it. Too prove to myself I was happy enough and the MC didn't happen because the thing thought it was unwelcome, I love the complete irrationalness of my belly thoughts

Good luck with everyone's everything today, BESHes.

Oh wow lots of posting since last night! Fingers crossed for all appointments and suchlike.

I know what you all mean about getting all the things in the right place at the right time. I keep wanting to go to see my parents, but we have so much going on at the minute that timing is proving awkward. I don't want to end up there without HOTB during ov time, it would be a hugely wasted opportunity (although bound to be fruitless in any case).

I feel like I ought to go out on my bike, but it's raining and cold and I'm knackered after the F1 denying me sleep all weekend. Maybe it'll cheer up in the afternoon...

Flying visit, am at work all day. Spotting stopped by Sunday am. Abx seem to be helping. Waiting to hear from EPAU if I get early scan, I have a feeling they may just wait till Wednesday. At least I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday.

Good luck norf and frankel!

FSR, that would be unhelpful! Is there nothing he can do to get out of the trips?

Drizz I know exactly what you mean about the treatments for unexplainedness. In one way, it is a blessing that there is something that might help (even if the medics don't know why), but in no other area of medicine would someone say "we haven't got a scooby doo what's wrong with you, but inject yourself with some pretty hardcore drugs for a few works then we'll perform minor surgery on you by sticking a giant needle through your fanjo and see if that helps. Oh, by the way, that'll be five grand please."

I'm glad the spotting has stopped, faif.

Am back! All was fine: scan "normal" (makes a change!) and bloods back later today.

The nurse said it was my decision if I wanted to go ahead or not, but that the cycle would count if I got as far as ov, even if HWHNN wasn't here. I've opted to go ahead - there's no way of knowing how quickly I'll respond to the drugs, and, as nursey said, at least we'll know how future cycles will go, if it comes to that.

Euro, he can't get out of the trips as they're for big important meetings. He goes to the USA for 4 days at start of November and then Malaysia for 6 days mid-November. At least he is back in between the trips .

Enough about me, what are we all doing today?

Congratulations on normal innards, fsr! I think I would have opted to carry on as well.

Am on a train chugging towards hospital.

lemon, I got offered more time off by physically shaking in a weird way with effort of keeping control. And then, yes, wailing Have to decide whether I want to ask for the counselling thing as well. Am still a bit iffy about it (what? Share my feelings about defeatedness and failure and guilt?) but might give it a go.

I would Norf. What's to lose?

Have this kipper

I'd go with the counselling Norf. I was told a few months ago that counselling is on offer for anyone under treatment at my clinic (NHS IVF) so may take up the offer myself. I'm a very "glass half empty" sort of person, so if I can find a way to help me think more positively through this treatment, I figure it can only help. I'm also a control freak, so I think my reaction to a lot if my barrenness is about being out of control

They might not just want to talk about your diffedness related feelings, I imagine they'll chat through everything as we all have other underlying ishoos

Agree with Rie, what is there to loose, about trying the counselling? I promised myself I was allowed to leave and allowed to say nothing before I went otherwise I would never have gone . I did not enjoy it, but felt it might help enough to give it a proper go. It makes it a bit calmer in my head, knowing I have to go back and talk about things, so I don't have to panic now (if that makes any sense). So norf if I were you, I'd ask for some more time off, with or without wailing, and give it a try. You can back out anytime. My counsellor asked what I came to find which I found very difficult to answer, but useful. I admitted being scared that I just would not hack the whole IF process for much longer, and I need tools/help/whatever.

Right enough serious advice. I am sending evil spells at SILFH as she does bother me, shall I cook her in a enormous cauldron as soup for Halloween. Maybe we can share it and get her surprising fertility, or at least a decent portion of meat, each.

And with Frank. Also on the underlying ishoos: control/family/previous depression for me. Joy. Why does IF have to happen to control freaks, it is not fair.

Bloody hell. Have just discovered I've got an infertility appointment on Monday! I'd forgotten all about it (what with having been diffed and thinking I wouldn't need it). Thank GOD I nipped in to use the loos in that area of the hospital or it would never have crossed my mind. And thank God for lovely nurse who kindly looked me up on the booking system and gave me the glad news that I hadn't missed it.

I'm loving the number of repressed control freaks on here. We must be a fairly awesome coven IRL.

Well done you on remembering, and well done nice nurse. Will AMHN be able to come with you? What is the score for you with tests etc? Will they do a HSG to check how your tubes are after all of this?

All my MC care has been done by the IF people, but then, they played a significant role in getting me diffed. I have a final check that everything is gone on Thursday and then it will be all over. I hope...

Well, I've written 285 words and cannot be arsed to do anymore. Is painful droidal visitation enough of an excuse? Not really as I need to hand in the assignment at the end of the week and will be in work for the next few days

I've previously had all the tests going - they know that the problem is that I don't ovulate without hefty encouragement. And now we also know that even when I do ovulate my tubes are fucked. Radiology won't do an HSG until 3 months post op, so will have one then. But the last two showed that my tubes were patent, so whatever the problem is with them it is clearly not something that shows up on x ray.

This session will basically be "Sorry you had an ectopic, but congrats on having ovulated/conceived. Just carry on with the Clomid, dearie, and keep your fingers crossed it doesnt happen a third time. You are too old for any new interventions unless you become a private patient and pay £££."

That just makes me surely there is something going on, that needs some medical attention. An ectopic is a serious health risk, so they should fix that before risking clomid again. Stamps feet. How many times will they let you go through this before they do something?!?!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

But what should I ask them for, lem? I feel like that's my problem at the moment. I know they won't do IVF unless my next HSG reveals that my remaining tube is blocked as a result of the surgery. So what is it I want them to do?

I don't know what they should do, but I think they should DO something. It is just crap, because clearly something went fairly horribly wrong and I think they should avoid that happening again. You know, I just want to magically diff you in the right place. But I have no idea what they can or should do. Just worried that your tubes like embryos too much and really, really don't want you to go through this SHITE again. But then, I know bugger all about ectopics. So not much use.

(But I am in a bad mood, so all GRRRRRRRRR even if I have no solution; not very Victorian gentlemanly then today).