TTC first child, anybody else in the same boat? Thread 2

[Bunnygirlie]

The old thread was getting chocca so lets start again lovely ladies -

Bunnygirlie - 32, married, TTC since June, AF due 5th Oct

Everyone and their neighbour (or daughter!) IS up the duff!
To all those whose DHs or DPs think these forums are full of obsessed women, I say there's nothing wrong with a little obsession. I've reached 32 without having a child and I daresay I've done a good job of prioritising work and everything else in life before this so it's my time now. Plus the biological imperative to reproduce is very strong. So many animals in the animal world die after procreating- their only focus in life being to propagate their species. Not saying we are the same or should be, but if you feel the urge, it's because there is a primeval reason for it.
QLB since most of my "symptoms" could be put down to general exhaustion, and I had a good lie on on Saturday, I'm sorry to report there are no twangy uteri (?) :) here anymore.

Fay, I would say it's not so much about the age but how long you have been trying. If it's been a year and nothing happens, I would certainly get checked out.

Zombies, my DH is now obsessed, keeps reading the pregnancy book and telling me what is going to happen and what I am supposed to do and not to do. I can already tell that he will be a total PFB parent..

Fay - according to the NHS you should go (ie they will bother to refer you) if you're over 30 and have been trying for more than a year. If you're 35 or over you should apparently go if you've been trying for more than six months. Both my cousin who's a GP and my friend who's just been referred have confirmed this is their policy I think...

Strangely I genuinely feel like I have absolutely no hope of being pg this month for some reason. I've no idea why but I just don't feel it?! No symptom spotting at all, and just feel it wasn't my month, despite doing the deed at the right time this month (I think). I wonder why that is?

And yes, every other bugger is pg. Great.

Fay I'm with the others - I'd wait a year (I'm 32).

I'm feeling positive for this month. We've done everything we could.

So I find out a girl at work is pregnant then go on Facebook to find tgat another is a day past her due date and another friend has posted the pictures of the nursery for number two.

Grrrr

So BFN at 11dpo on an Internet cheeeepy for me today - its managed to burst my optimistic bubble somewhat, I've been the opposite of you Janey and feeling uncharacteristically hopeful this month.

Off on hols tmw - weather looking pretty ropey unfortunately. Ah well, it'll be nice to spend some time with DP at least, and drink lots of nice wine /eat oysters if I am not up the duff.

Silly question for you quod, but how do you know you're 11 DPO? Am I bring an idiot?!

I really do hope you are wrong with your feeling for this month but you're right - many oysters and much wine if you're not pg! Where are you off to on holiday?

I'm guessing through temping or using a fertility monitor like the cbfm.

janey I used the clear blue digital ovulation sticks for the first time this month. I ovulated the day after I got a smiley face (I felt it this month).

Double-pronged attack of charting and cheap OPK sticks Janey! I have a textbook chart this month which is very unlike me - ov is very clearly 11 days ago.

We are off to the south of France tmw for a week - looking forward to a little adventure with DP, even if it is rainy.

Bottom of the list for me, af now due 24th October, cycle 3, can't seem to copy and paste the list on
iPad!

Fay, know how you feel, my hubby is 40 next year, I'm 32 so don't wanna hang about. I saw my doc recently and I might have added a few months to how long we've been trying (bad me) and she wants to see me back in Jan if not PG as understands we don't wanna be too old, also it took my parents 5+ years to get me and I don't feel i have that time :-(

Off to rainy Spain on thurs, nice to have week away but due AF day we fly back if my app is correct, but at least it will be a distraction whilst waiting for that evil pixie AF :-)

Morning girls. Been feeling pretty shite after af turned up yesterday.
Think I'm going to use the rest of my cheap opk this month and if no luck will but the cb ov sticks. Will also have to have a serious chat with DH regarding mid week sex when it's ov time.
This whole thing is wearing me down

Oh sorry Lol

I'm sorry too lol

I bought my clear blue ones from amazon as they were pretty cheap there vs boots, if you wanted to give them a try x

Sorry to hear that lol

Pregnancy tests aren't cheap are they? Bloody hell- at least £3.50 apiece. Should buy shares in First Response..

Can't stop bloody symptom spotting. Twangy uterus? More like indigestion!

What are everyone's thoughts on going back to work post-baby (I realise this is jumping the gun a bit!) versus being a stay-at-home Mum?

I enjoy my job and have worked hard to build a career which I feel reluctant to give up, but I also have issues at the thought of putting our baby in full-time child care when he/she is very young, both for the wellbeing of our baby and for the things which I would miss out on in his/her development.
Part-time would not really work in my job (although I know my employer would have to try to accommodate it if I requested it,) and there is no question of DH staying at home with baby as he earns far more than me.

I'm not even PG yet so this will not rear it's head for a while, but it's in the back of my mind and I wondered what everyone else is planning to do?

Due to numerous reasons I will have no option but to continue to work full time after (if?) I have a child. So I would take the full paid maternity leave- four months in my case- and maybe see if I could get a month more but I'm afraid it's a nursery after that...

Must Resist Urge to POAS too soon!

Of course it's only reasonable to think about and discuss child care issues before you decide to have one.
I will continue working - worked too hard to get to this position, and am also the main earner. For DH to make the same money, he would have to go contracting abroad working crazy hours, whereas I work 10 minutes from home, so it's reasonable for me to keep working. Part time is not an option either.
Luckily DH has his own company and can work from home, so he would be the WAHD. (We can comfortably live on my salary only, so he could work when the baby is small just to keep his cv and contacts up to date). I would guess we will have to find a part time nanny too, for times when DH has to go see customers or just needs time to actually work.

Zombies Wow, you will deserve a medal for juggling a 4 month old baby and a full-time job. I hope DP/H will be giving you a big hand? And there's no 'if' about it - we will all get there. I was unfortunate enough to see some of Jeremy Kyle this morning and if those inbreds can get PG anybody can!

HazleNutt You sound like you are in an ideal position to carry on working. I would not need to work for financial reasons but I suspect I may need to work for reasons relating to keeping sane. I really don't like the idea of being a kept woman!

Rache - like hazle I would have no choice. My bf is quite a lot younger than me, and whilst he has a very good job for his age (haha makes him sound like a teenager - he is 29!), I'm still the main earner. So back to work for me it would be. I'd hope to be able to take up to a full year off though - thankfully I bought a property at 23 so was just about on the ladder before all the massive increases, and as such we can afford the mortgage for our house on just one wage for a short while. Even without the financial issue, I think I would want to go back after a while; my best friend could have stayed at home after her DD but chose to go back (part time admittedly) as she missed it, and I've been much more career focused over the years than her... So can completely understand why you'd want to go back.

Is everyone, like me, totally wanting to get pg, and thinking ahead to working/childcare/maternity leave etc, but handily blanking out the whole childbirth part of the timeline?!

xx

Oh and maternity leave here is 3 months only. 3 months! I'm from a country where we have not just maternity, but parental leave and it's 3 years. Bit of a culture shock, let me tell you.

I'm pretty sure it will be absolutely horrible to go to work leaving a tiny 3-month old home. But rather this than sending DH out so we would not see him for weeks and weeks..(especially considering that we also have a herd of pets that need attention).

janey I indeed prefer not to think about that part in detail
I figure though that while it's certainly no walk in the park, most women nowadays manage, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to. Luckily the health care here is fabulous and they don't have any ideas about telling women to "embrace the pain" to save money on epidurals.