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Original poster

BFP in 2012 Part 3 - let's get on with it!

980 replies

resipsa · 29/08/2012 11:30

I bit the bullet!

OP posts:
NickiNockiNoodle · 03/09/2012 22:32

I may not get to 15 years if he doesn't drag himself off the sofa and to bed! Why doesn't he put the bloody effort in? I'm tired too...

fatasbutter · 03/09/2012 22:40

I actually could stab DH tbh. I can't really take much more of the lack of effort on his part. It's soul destroying being turned down by your own husband when you both supposedly want the same thing (ie babies) but one of you seems to think it happens as if by magic. So close to just giving up completely but every month I get sucked back in!!

fatasbutter · 03/09/2012 22:41

And I don't even mention active TTC or babies any more as he said previously it was off putting etc so I don't see what else I can do!!! AngryAngryAngry

fatasbutter · 03/09/2012 22:45

Sorry Blush didn't mean to get all grumpy! Confused

DulcetMoans · 03/09/2012 23:10

Oh fatas, it is frustrating. I think the men-folk do seem to think they don't need to make an effort. They aren't as aware of the timings and the waiting involved. I've had the same this evening, been texting him from upstairs to try and get a move on. Removes any romance! Hope you get your leg over tonight. Just make sure he doesn't enjoy it as punishment!!

NickiNockiNoodle · 04/09/2012 01:51

I did the same, Dulcet, without joy. Bloody sick of his lack of effort. You'd think he'd have worked out by now he hasn't got super sperm and it won't be easy.

Really angry at him as snoring on the sofa has been more important to him the last two nights. Idiot man.

So, fatas, I'm with you in the grumpy corner.

kittykatskumkwat · 04/09/2012 07:10

Ha ha I'm glad to see we're all in the same boat, resipsa I know what you mean, me and dh have been together 11 years and once a month would have been alot Blush at some points, he's never had a high sex drive but we do it more now then ever before!
The way I put it to him one time is that by us not doing it that night it had potentially made a bfp 6 weeks away ( said through tears) as I had to wait the 2 weeks to find out no then another month to try again and wait, I think he realised that you need to do what you can in those 2 weeks and has never turned me down since and quite often when I've hinted has even made it seem like his idea which I love him for, that what I say to myself when I'm not really in the mood as I know in the 2 ww I'll regret it and quite often when your in the throws after you think oh I enjoyed that I'm glad we did it!
I don't think we could ever have enough time for every day but if I do opk I do like to try for atleast that day and the next and hopefully we had already done it the day before, next month I'm definatly back on them if I don't get it this month which is unlikely

kittykatskumkwat · 04/09/2012 07:12

Oh and fatas, his punishment can be that you can happily refuse all dtd for the 9 months you are pregnant!!!
Don't stab him, you need him for now Grin

Original poster
resipsa · 04/09/2012 07:39

Fatas need a lawyer or did you follow kitty's advice???

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasAnOrange · 04/09/2012 07:50

I completely understand the irritation with the dh's. It is so annoying, I find I am pissed of with mine but I have to be nice to him to make sure he is still happy dtd with me.

fatasbutter · 04/09/2012 08:11

Yes when that's what I've been doing too but now res I shall have that lawyer!
Have just had the manflu card played again so I lost it and really gave him an earful. He kept apologising etc but what good are apologies?!!
What really pisses me off is that I have to put so much effort in for sex! I thought it was normal to do it more when trying for a baby but once in the potential 7-10 days of fertility is just a joke! You would think I was asking him to poke his eye out or something! Or that he's doing me a bloody favour!

Phew!! Thanks girls! Feel better now I've ranted!! Grin and a bit Blush

DulcetMoans · 04/09/2012 08:14

They are officially idiots. I did get my way in the end yesterday but by the time we got there I was annoyed and couldn't be bothered. Why do we get made to feel awful when it is meant to be something you both want?!

fatasbutter · 04/09/2012 08:26

Exactly! I feel like I'm some sex starved freak when actually most 'normal' couples
Do it about four times as often as we do, and often at the man's (or both's) suggestion - or so magazines would have me believe!! I think that's what makes me so resentful.
And then at the end of the month I'm the one who has to wait to test and then has the disappointment of a bfn or AF arrival Angry

kittykatskumkwat · 04/09/2012 09:18

Oh the manflu card!! Ivs heard that before
Stupid men Angry

fatasbutter · 04/09/2012 09:23

Ha ha! Think he feels bad this time - he went very quiet and said he would make it up to me - watch this space...!

teaandcakesolveseverything · 04/09/2012 09:23

Hi, can I join? I have been lurking for a while feeling reassured that everything Ive been feeling since TTC the last couple of months is normal, mn is great! I am having great trouble with dh at the moment, I don't think he has actually come on to me since TTC, I'm trying to be relaxed about things but if we just dtd when we feel like it and not put any effort in like he would prefer that will be once a week absolute max (and not at all if I am at work all weekend.) This is not exactly maximising our chances of making a baby! If I talk about TTC it is offputting and makes him feel like I only want him for his wigglers, if I don't he just doesn't bother! Aaaaaaarrgh!

fatasbutter · 04/09/2012 09:55

Oh yes teaandcake (good name btw!) you have come to the right place today! I will let you know later/tomorrow how the guilt trip goes - if that works then I would recommend it! As kitty said I explained the timings etc to him and he did seem to realise that it was a bit annoying of him to be so lazy about it, but will have to see if that translates into action...!

Thundercatsarego · 04/09/2012 11:04

Hi everyone, can I join in?

I'm really new to all this- a friend mentioned MN to me and so I looked at few threads and this one really jumped out at me. I had no idea how helpful it would be to understand that other people have similar thoughts and feelings to me, on things that I really can't discuss openly in RL. Plus you all seem like really fun, friendly folk.

I do have a question tho, and please excuse my ignorance here (I am encouraged to read that nothing is tmi on a TTC thread so I am running with it!). CM- I understand the theory about it changing, and am just getting my head round my own cycles, but I've been wondering how you actually check it. Is it an observational thing or do people take more umm..investigative measures?

Original poster
resipsa · 04/09/2012 12:33

Thunder hi. Depends on how squeamish you are, I think. I would never, umm, venture up there personally and rely on observation alone (getting good at if after 11 months Sad).

OP posts:
weechops · 04/09/2012 13:08

Anyone ever been to the COD and came out smiling afterwards? I think I'm going there for a little trip :(
12dpo today and bfn this morning. Af due thursday and I'm pretty sure a bfp would have made even a faint appearance by now.

I don't even want to think about the next few months because it'll be torture. Urgh feel like shit,sorry girls.

Original poster
resipsa · 04/09/2012 13:22

wee sorry. Wait for AF, though. If only you could Skype the sperm...

OP posts:
Thundercatsarego · 04/09/2012 14:03

Thank you very much resipsa, that's useful to know, I think I may just continue to keep an eye out and hope I'll eventually suss out what's going on. All the information I read on it made it sound so easy.

That sounds tough wee. I know I'm only a newbie, but if I've picked up anything so far it's that it ain't over til the red lady sings. Maybe some diversion tactics/ treats massive bar of chocolate for yourself to keep you out of the COD?

teaandcakesolveseverything · 04/09/2012 14:22

Oh wee that sounds rubbish, I may have to come and join you at the end of the week if you're still there, ERTD is due for me this weekend and I although I don't feel remotely pg, and don't really feel like we really have much of a chance this month as not dtd enough, I have to POAS on Friday like it or not cos I have a CT scan booked and wouldn't really want to be irradiated if it was BFP! Not a chance though! Skype sperm? That made me giggle, i have difficulty enough skyping humans!

teaandcakesolveseverything · 04/09/2012 14:24

Oh wee that sounds rubbish, I may have to come and join you at the end of the week if you're still there, ERTD is due for me this weekend and I although I don't feel remotely pg, and don't really feel like we really have much of a chance this month as not dtd enough, I have to POAS on Friday like it or not cos I have a CT scan booked and wouldn't really want to be irradiated if it was BFP! Not a chance though! Skype sperm? That made me giggle, i have difficulty enough skyping humans!

fatasbutter · 04/09/2012 16:49

Oh no wee Sad it's a really rubbish time waiting for AF/BFP - but like the others say, it ain't over til she shows her red self x