BFP in 2012 Part 2 - step away from the COD and into this thread.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

We filled the last one so I thought I would start no 2.

Congrats 10!

What was your old username as I was on the July thread too.

Sorry you're in the COD red. I know how you feel X

newbie2 I was wondering just that. is it me? Not sure if I know anyone trying to upduff

when

I think I'm a pathetic sight this weekend. Watching one born every min on more 4.

Glass of wine and box of tissues to hand.
Tested today on fmu-bfn. 8dpo.

Oh bless you red I know you know this but I will say it anyway. 8dpo is really really early to test. Hope it gets better for you.

I am just a bit up and down at the moment. I desperately wanted to have my second child close ish to my first and really wanted a two year age gap. It has hit me quite badly that this probably isn't going to happen and I have been trying to get my head round that.

I just hope my fertility tests go well I really don't want to get my head round the idea of not having another child.

I'm watching War Horse and feeling teary. I'm only at the start where he plows the field!!

Just realised a lot of you ladies are trying for your 1st and would probably love to be in my position. Sorry for complaining.

Thanks for the mind bleach nicola

Oh no, When...I don't feel like anyone deserves a child any more than anyone else. If you desperately want a child and are TTC then the emotions are the same.

It's emotionally exhausting for everyone.

Oh when you are not alone. And like nicola said, the emotions are the same.

when sorry when are your tests? Hope they go well and you get some answers. Please do not think for one min that you deserve it any less. We are all in this shitty ttc journey together

Also if it helps I have a 4yr age gap between my sister and me. But we are still close and the age gap has had a lot of benefits. So it's not a bad thing. Fx your dd gets a sibling soon xxx

Thanks guys. Tests are bloods on 31st Aug then day 21 bloods on 5th Sept. I think the first one is to test fsh and lh. GP said he wanted to make sure I was ovulating (seriously annoyed me there, I know I am ovulating because I keep getting the chemical pregnancies).

The second set are for progesterone (more worried about this one). Also he has booked me in for an ultrasound (not sure what they are looking for).

Hi When sounds like you're being tested for the same standard stuff as me, however they don't know my cycle day because AF hasn't arrived post pill since 100plus days now. I've got my scan on 11th Sept. the blood test results only take a few days to come back so you should know pretty quickly. Oh and the scan will check out the state of your eggs.

when secret twin moment again. I went back to work 3 weeks after DD's 1st birthday and said to anyone who'd listen that I wanted to be pregnant again by the time I went back so the age gap would be small and I'd be off on ML again just as DD1 was starting to talk properly etc etc. Couldn't believe it when the test was positive at the start of my second week. As it turned out, it was all too good to be true but I know exactly where you're coming from in terms of having a hard time getting your head around the fact that it won't be a 2 year (or maybe even a 2.5 or 3 or 4 year...) gap.

And agree that TC sex dream is a bit disturbing but watched Top Gun last weekend and, darn, it's a good film. They don't make them like that these days.

Eek, that post makes me sound very old. Double eek, I am!

I think I am 95% out this month. No symptoms, no twinges and deflated boobs which are now neither tender nor sore nor tingly. Which means AF is on its way.

:( Not testing anymore. I can't be bothered. Just going to wait for her to arrive.

At the back of my mind clinging on to the 5% hope. But know for sure I am out.
No use telling myself otherwise. I just don't feel its happened this month.

Going to give it another shot in Sep - what else can you do?

Newbie and When - I am having that scan too. Waiting for a date from docs.

Newbie - you must be tearing your hair out! 100 days!

AF arrived today so 29 day cycle instead of last months freaky 43 day cycle. Much more normal

Sorry pressed send too soon!

Much more normal and coincides with the monitor too. Also means I'm likely to OV on holiday :)

Sorry red if you are right and you haven't been lucky this cycle then hopefully you will feel better when af comes.

Glad your cycle is more normal winkle are you having a month off ttc?

newbie thanks for the info on the ultrasound. An a bit nervous about it now but I would rather know if there is an issue.

Fx you conceive a holiday baby winkle - yay for the short cycle

Thanks when - I just feel very emotional - been welling up since Thur and still feel like crying. Don't know if its a sign or whether its just the disappointment every month getting to me.

I woke up today feeling very negative about it all. Keep thinking what if there is something wrong and I can never have children. For the first time I have actually considered the possibility :(

I hope the utrasound and fsh / lh tests give you some answers. Fx it all goes well next week.

resipsa I should have known you would understand about the age gap thing (secret twin ).

I think that's why I had such a rubbish weekend. Have been trying to get my head round the idea that I won't have kids two years appart (really want them two school years appart not three (or four or five)). It's been tough but I am feeling better this morning.

Went out and saw some friends on Friday night and the talk came round to having a second child. One person asked if people don't announce earlier than 12 weeks because they are keeping it secret or invade it goes wrong. I had to run off to the toilet at that point, it all got a bit emotional.
Will be seeing them this week and I hope they didn't notice I really don't feel like talking about it.

Sorry on af winkle but atleast it's back to a respectable length and ties in with the monitor, you can start cutting back on all the shagging now he he
When/ resipia, I wanted really small age gap too, everyone joked because I loved motherhood so much I'd come back to work pregnant again and that would have been true! Feel equally crap that since quiting bf have only had one af between 2 mc so not even a chance for aug and straight onto sep but even that looks unlikely given still bleeding and still strong pos tests uugghhhh
I want a holliday!

sorry to hear you are feeling so down, red :( I've been through all the emotions you are experiencing and its rubbish, but you will come out of it the other side.

whenshewas ? I'm having a month off 'actively' TTC. So it's not going to be the focus of the month but we will still DTD and I still have to use the monitor as it's getting to know my cycles. I'm just not going to allow myself to be so sad and frustrated about it all.

winkle yes I'm very annoyed. It's been 109 days... I never imagined AF to take this long to arrive :( 3 weeks left until my scan and then hopefully I'll have some answers!

Whenshe the test itself is painless. A good rl friend confirmed that to me last week. Like me you're probably more worried about the outcome!!

Hey when. It is comforting to know I'm not the only one nervous about blood tests. About to get the day 21 (28in my case- had to explain to GP that length of cycle makes a difference to which day!) and all the rest once AF arrives. Thank heavens for all the MN solidarity / expertise!