BFP in 2012 Part 2 - step away from the COD and into this thread.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

We filled the last one so I thought I would start no 2.

So sorry when :(

Oh red I understand how you feel mate x

Red I think we all understand exactly how u feel. All of my friends have kids already or don't want to have any. Which is why this is so hard!

red I know it's shit mate. I do think it will happen - there is no reason for it not to. I just honestly think that our bodies know us slightly better than we know ourselves.

My DH (bless him) started off feeling agitated when I was trying to explain how I felt about the failure and about how I just wanted to be pregnant and couldn't switch it off. Then we started to count back to every month we've been trying and we looked at what happened with the diabetes and the practical side of it is that we would have been happy if I'd fallen pregnant earlier but looking back from this side, it's better that I didn't.

It's definitely a coping strategy since I need to be able to move forward on this and not feel so negative and overwhelmed so it's just one angle that I can take it from. Obviously, that's the benefit of hindsight and of having a full fucking YEAR to look back on and analyse.

I emailed my nurse and asked how sure she was that it was the diabetes and she said "You'll have your baby. I'm always right"

OH and listen to this song - I reckon it will cheer EVERYONE up

I can't discuss it with anyone in RL....scared that they won't understand how I feel.

I am glad I have this thread and all of you guys to talk to.

Your nurse sounds nice kick :)
Yes in hindsight its probably safer and kinder that you didn't conceive.

I will listen to the song tonight.

I keep telling myself that it will happen
But until I see it happening I won't be able to feel completely happy.

Have you tried speaking to your DH?

I think mine started to panic when I told him how I actually felt. He said he didn't know what to say but that he doesn't want me feeling like that. I told him to support me and tell me that it will be ok (which he did - so I told him to come up with his own bloody ideas! Women!)

Anyway, what happened was that we spoke about for a couple hours and he managed to inject an ounce of practicality into my failed mind and I actually do feel better.

I think we should be able to explain it to them.

It's like there is a tiny hole missing in your heart. That there is a hole missing and it's specifically something that is a part of you and your husband.

That's how I said it. That I was so happy to be married to him and everything is great but that little "Mr and Mrs Kick hole" needed polyfilla

And also, sorry but ours wasn't only the diabetes. We've had a lot of stress and even without the diabetes, it's a better thing

If you try to believe that your body will let you fall pregnant, not only when your body is ready, but when your mind is completely ready too.

Thats a lovely way to put it "hole in the heart" thats exactly how it feels.

Talked to DH after we got home last night. I think sometimes he's scared to bring the subject up because of how I might react. I told him to just hold me and not be scared about me crying. (he doesn't know what to say or do when I start crying - he pats my head gently :-/ bless him!)

He told me that one day - we will be sat at a table and making an announcement and people will be happy for us.

That seemed to make it feel a little better.

And they will. And then WE can be the smug pregnant, fannying into the threads, announcing it and flouncing!

My sore boobs seem to be back again. AF due tomorrow so likelihood of a positive today would be technically high if I was pregnant. At least I can move on.

Will be interesting to see if AF is going to come on time. Judging by all the tears yesterday (there were A LOT), I wouldn't be surprised if AF arrives today. Back has been sore as well - another sign of pending AF.
Boobs are bloody sore though. Everywhere. Bloody progesterone

Sorry she got you nic - if it's such a pain having AF at wedding you could delay it with progesterone tabs - ask your GP??

Sorry red that you are feeling so down

kick I generally find that my DH quietly panics when I really tell him about these type of stressful things! He doesn't generally talk about this stuff and neither would his family so he never knows what to say!! Poor bloke - I usually bite off his head for reacting 'wrongly'!!

I have sore boobs too and my moods seem to go up and down and angry and irritable and then sad. Progesterone has kicked in early? AF might be arriving earlier than I thought?

I dont get sore boobs till a week before AF. This is 2 weeks before.

fatas Yeh my DH is normally happy when my life is controlled and my emotions are in check. I've told him that I think progesterone is in complete overdrive this month AND I've not been at work for the last month so my mind is also going bonkers.

red From about my 3rd cycle, my boobs started to get really sore like...JUST after ovulation. It was the weirdest thing. Now, I have intense pain for two weeks. And if my AF is late, then sore boobage goes on until AF arrives.

Once, I had sore boobs that came up the DAY AF was due. AF was a week late though.

I am wondering if this is a chemical pregnancy effect?

I noticed this month variations from my pre-CP cycles:

1. Excessive EWCM - 3 days in a row and chunky stretchy stuff
2. Sore Boobs & erect nipples straight after OV - DH was shocked at how big and erect my nipples are.
3. My belly - I am not joking but I am not fitting into my jeans. Its like my uterus expanded ever so slightly last month and now refuses to shrink back. My stomach is protruding.
4. PMS - way too early.

Am I being shit if I say that's what I've had the last few cycles?

I think it's because we literally become more and more aware of our bodies. I really do believe that.

And with every additional month, we pick up more signals and we notice more things.

Maybe it's a mad progesterone month for everyone?!!

I am not believing anything ... I dont think I will be pregnant this month. Its too soon after the CP, chances are Sep might be a better cycle.

It has to be. In the Southern Hemisphere, it's spring in September. All the baby animals are born. It's definitely time to make a baybee in September

monitor told me to POAS today so I did. BFN. I hate life.

Bugger, winkle :-(

Oh no winkle. More bad news. I'm so sorry!
I agree. I think we are too aware of body and see things where there may be nothing. But one can only dream huh x

winkle :(

I was kinda hopeful cause I've had sore boobs for the past couple of weeks and I don't usually have them.

I am the complete opposite of a symptom spotter because I NEVER get any symptoms and I believe that if I get pregnant I will FEEL pregnant.