Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

[Moominsarescary]

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

Well it definitely wasn't my waters had quite a few tears at the hospital today, think it all hit me on top of a rubbishy nights sleep and Erin's stone going up today. But everything is done now in preparation for Wednesday. Excited and scared in equal measure.

Hope the stitch goes well Moomins

Love to all xxx

Well ladies. I have been busy de-cluttering and cleaning my house/garden since Friday night! I seem to be like a woman obessessed! Not sure where it is all coming from but may be because we're finally getting the bathroom sorted (with a shower over the bath, yay!! ) after 9 years in this house! Also, finally getting round to finishing boarding the loft out so I can store lots of crap stuff we don't use very often up there. Need to sort out a loft ladder now.

Sorry, been too busy to catch up with all posts, but fx you get bfp soon kleine. My AF is due this weekend (if my cycle is back to normal) so hopefully we will be joining you ttc soon. On reading that last sentence back again, it sounds so wrong . You know what I mean, I hope!

Congratulations amy. Everything crossed for you.

wtw - not long now

Sorry if I have missed people off. Will try to catch up on news tomorrow but for now, hugs and waves to you all,

Forgot to say that I too felt the poignancy (is that a word?) of Gary Barlow singing last night. Brought a tear to my eye for Daisy and all our little Angels. Sweet dreams, little ones!

moomins thx Btw you can watch the ceremony on BBC iplayer.

wtw how're you doing? Are you going in wed morning or tomorrow? X

DH out of hospital now. He's ok but missed him yesterday - was hard spending the day without him... Not exactly what I'd planned but managed to take the boys to Jacobs grave anyway. Adam decided he^ wanted feeding and then did a huge poo while we were there though so was a bit stressed! And I get stressed in emotionally difficult situations anyway. Then went to the hospital to visit DH - he said it was kind of surreal we were there at 7:45pm, the time he was born. It was a bit.

little I welled up when I saw Gary Barlow too. Brave man, don't know how he held it together singing that song - "the stars are coming out tonight, they're lighting up the sky tonight, for you"

Glad Jacob's day passed gently august although it must have been very hard without dh there and then having to be in the hospital. How is Adam doing? I'm going in tomorrow morning at 7am - eeek!

Just 24 hours left to get through! Plan for today ctg at hospital first thing then to cemetery to see Erin's stone, sainsburys to stock up on the easy/quick meals for dp and K for rest of week, lunch with K and my friend then taking her to see Brave at the cinema. Busy day - hoping it means it will pass quick!!

wtw I'm sure it will pass quick that's a very full days plan.

I am so tired, yawning all the time. I also have a headache and feel a bit sick. Trying not to get my hopes up.

Sorry not name checking but I'm so tired.

Waves to everyone, will try and catch up properly later this evening.

Hello all,

sorry I have been a bit out of touch. Will be thinking about you so hard tomorrow WTW! Hope the stitch goes well Moomin. Congrats Amy. Glad you had a gentle day for Jacob August and it is so lovely to hear about Adam.

Hoping for cycles back to normal and BFPs for the rest of us.

Dexter's due date in this Saturday, so I am having a bit of an odd brain this week. Also they are thinking about pushing my operation back so they can do a test to see if I really do have the Malignant Hyperthermia which runs in the family. This would be fine, but the waiting list for the test is two years. Up until yesterday I was being told my op was booked for sept 4th. I can not wait two years before ttc again. I just can't. I appreciate that it may take even longer than that to concieve, and that will be a difficult journey of it's own, but not even being able to try? Am still hoping the op will go ahead as planned.

Gary Barlow's performance was just wonderful. Jason Manford's blog posts on facebook are fantastic as well.

Thinking about us all x

Thanks everyone, thought I was ok but had a massive panic attack last night. Have been prone to them in the past but was quite surprised as I thought I was feeling fine about everything.

Just watched the closing ceremony and take that, I would think it was incredibly hard for Gary Barlow to sing that song, he did so well.

wtw not long now, will be thinking of you

wtw I hope today passes quickly for you, just one more sleep!

moomins I hope your stitch goes well tomorrow, hope you are ok?

mecha I have everything crossed that you will get the op very soon.

Oh moomins how scary to have a panic attack. I quite understand your surprise as well if you haven't had one for a while - but this is a big thing, and in some ways it might be more surprising if you really were 100%, fine... Sending you love, I hope tomorrow goes well for you.

Ditto for wtw of course! Hope your busy day is, well, busy - it will be tomorrow morning almost before you know it. Can't wait to hear the news (and the name!) x How does Erin's headstone look? I'm quite sure it's lovely.

mecha Oh my goodness. TWO YEARS for a test? I have just googled Malignant Hyperthermia which sounds a bit frightening, but how on earth can anyone expect you to wait two years?? No wonder you are feeling all over the place with that, plus your due date on Sat. Is there anyone you can speak to about the test and/or the op? I so hope you will have it as planned.
Btw I thought of you and Dex this morning - there's an estate agents called Dexters round here
Which reminds me - miasmummy I saw a shop called 'Mia Wood' at the weekend, so was very much thinking of you, too.

fan quietly hopeful for you...

angel at the idea of you telling the HV how you are ACTUALLY feeling. The poor woman would have needed a lie down afterwards I'm sure... glad to hear though that Phebs is doing well.

august I somehow didn't realise from your other posts that your DH was actually IN hospital, I thought he'd gone in then come home - bleugh, how awful for you all. Really pleased for you that you managed to get to Jacob's grave despite everything that's going on, though.

little9 also a big at you joining us to ttc. That would be oversharing a bit, methinks! Hopefully you will soon be ttc as well though (by yourselves)

Sorry to anyone I've missed...

Having had a completely crappy day yesterday, today I got up, had a shower and went to run our errands/to the shops. Little things to be proud of. But now sitting back at home and wondering how my life ended up like this - a trip to the shops is a major hurdle that I'm proud of - I should have been proudly pushing my little E around in her pram, not trying to avoid eye contact with strangers in case I start crying But it's how it is. Hoping beyond hope for a new little baby one day. It's what keeps me going right now!

Hi blizy Xpost - hope you are ok too xxx

Hi everyone, sorry I've been absent for a few days, I've missed so much!

Have been thinking about you loads wtw - you are so close now, hope your plans for today are keeping you slightly occupied. I'm glad that you have got Erin's headstone sorted and in place finally.

It's so hard for all of us, whereever we are on our paths - I don't think it gets any easier, whatever stage we are at, does it.

I have been using the CB OPK's this month (the clearblue trial) and I'm now on CD19 and haven't had a yet - I was already paranoid that I wasn't ovulating, and now I'm convinced. Guess I'll see what happens next cycle and then maybe make an appointment at docs? Don't really know what to think...
Still not had a call about the counselling - keep forgetting about it tbh, which I suppose is a good thing.

Congratulations amy on your bfp, fx for a sticky bean and an uneventful pg.

Hi to everyone else - sorry I haven't namechecked everyone xx

Well done poppet on getting up, dressed and out of the house - that is a big achievement, it isn't easy sometimes.

2 years seems crazy mecha - does it affect your gall bladder or the op then?

Hope tomorrow goes ok moomins, will be thinking of you as well as wtw. Not surprised about your panic attack, hope you're ok x

Ely, opk's can be very unreliable. You may be missing the LH surge. I never, ever has a positive with OPK's. I used the CB digi ones and cheapo ones. I have however had peak results on the cbfm, I think it measures 2 diff hormones leading up to ovulation.

Kleine- getting out of the house is an achievement, well done. I am sitting on the couch working up to going out at the min.

Thanks blizy, I was hoping that would be the case, it would be great if they send me a CBFM next month instead!!!

How are you feeling? I saw that you have been diagnosed with depression - what have the docs suggested? Are they referring you for counselling? Sorry if you've already posted about it, or don't want to talk about it x

I have a phone consultation for counselling on fri. My dr wants me on ad's but I'm not so sure. Thank you for asking, means a lot . X

About to shut my computer down but just saw your messages, thank you. Wondering if you managed to go out blizy? Little things, little steps... and you're right, in our circumstances they are such achievements.
elly hope blizy's advice helps - and that you get sent a cbfm! I found the cbfm really helpful in getting to know my cycle.

Hello all, sorry I've not been keeping track very well.

Wtw, thinking of you lots for tomorrow, my lovely - will be waiting here with baited breath! Everything will be fine - not long to go now! I woke up at 5 o'clock on the morning of my section and promptly freaked out because Maia wasn't kicking. I woke DH up at 5.30 nearly in tears and he got the doppler out for its very last time and we listened to the heartbeat. Hope there aren't any emergencies to delay you either.

Blizy, sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with depression. [hugs] Hope the counselling helps. For what it's worth, DH has now been on ADs for about 3 months and is feeling much better and more able to cope in general.

Moomins, will be thinking of you too tomorrow - hope all goes well.

Fan, thinking of you too.

I'm after some advice, if possible. It is Maia's naming ceremony this Saturday and I'm going to be making a speech. I want to mention Thea in some way, but I can't quite work out how or when, or how to do it without crying. It doesn't seem right not to mention her, though. Has anyone got any ideas? So far my speech goes something like 'thank you all for coming...bit of chat about the name Maia Patricia, mentioning that Patricia is after both MIL and my granny...thanks to all those who have brought food/drink, especially MIL for making the christening cake...thank you for gifts...now please raise your glasses to Maia Patricia.' I could work it in somehow during the name chat - if I say that Maia is the name of a star and we think she's a bit of a star, somehow link to the fact that there's another star in the family, her older sister? Not really sure how to make the segue. I think if I practice saying it often enough I won't cry, but I have to work out my words first.

Too could you link it to the story of Debi Gliori 'No matter what' with the sentence 'Love, like starlight, never dies.'? Just an idea...

wtw I am counting down with you... not long now... will be waiting for news as well!

I've been a bit absent as well, although I've been reading still, just no time and energy to post...
Last week I did holiday club at work, which meant I was busy from like 8am in the morning preparing, then having the kids from 10am-2pm and after that tidying up.
Paying the price for it now... Sunday I felt horrible and been on the sofa all day, same yesterday. I did go to the midwife to get checked over, as my fingers have been swollen and I have been feeling really thirsty all the time. But she said that was absolutely normal and everything was fine. She was glad I came to get checked out, and she wouldn't want me to worry. Seeing her again on Monday for another check up.
She did tell me to take it easy this week, which I have been doing :) Yesterday I still felt crap. Felt a bit better today, but then decided to tidy up the living room and hoover and needed a rest after that...

blizy I have my first counselling session next week... I'm not sure about it now, as I've been feeling quite ok the last few weeks, but I guess one session won't hurt and we'll see where we go from there.

mecha I hope you can get your op very soon!

x

blizy I hope the consultation helps you, can I ask why you dont want to take AP's?

mecha that must be hard to hear, we so desperatly want to be pg all of us but to be pushed back its hard. I hope you get your op soon and I hope if they do do the tests then they happen quick. Maybe you should have a chat with your dr again and tell them your concerns.

too Maybe you could introduce Maia by saying that your family, you, DH and Thea have welcomed Maia and now you ask your friends and family to do the same.

wtw I hope the day has gone fast, how was the movie? I hope Erins stone looks beautiful and just right. I see you have put a name thread up in baby names. I really love the name Juliet. How about Alice, or Alicia? Its hard sint to think of names that compliment the others but also that sound equally as beautiful. I hope seeing her tomorrow will help you find her the perfect name. I hope you get some sleep tonight, remember the quicker you get to sleep the quicker the morning will be here (its what I used to tell the kids I babysit for)

moomins will be thinking of you tomorrow, I hope the stitch goes well.

Well after thinking the tiredness this morning was a symptom, i think now it was just that tiredness, I dont feel pg, and I dont think I am. I have been having flash backs alot lately but I wish it was something more than just kissing Fi's cold forehead.

Thinking of you both wtw and moomins for tomorrow. Hope everything goes well for you both.

I hope you're OK blizy and kleine and have some good support in RL.

Definitely take it easy blue.

Hope everyone else is doing OK. I'm baking at my Mum's in the south of France at the moment. DS1 is not loving trying to sleep in 30oC heat... Never thought I'd be looking forward to going back to soggy Belgium!

amy apparently it's pretty warm in Belgium too at the moment

Thanks all for the good wishes. It feels very very surreal. K is now at my mums and I can feel the panic rising but am trying to stay calm.

Erin's stone looks beautiful fan thank you for asking.

Sorry for not name checking am too jittery!! Please god by 10am tomorrow she'll be wriggling in my arms xx

wtw I will be praying she will! :)
Have you got something to keep you busy tonight? x