Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

[Moominsarescary]

Hoping the thread brings us luck and that soon we will all be holding our rainbows xx

Hi all - wow everyone seems to have had busy weekends!!

Glad you had a good hen do blizy, and that's really positive about the bereavement counsellor, I really hope that they are able to help you xx I hope yesterday passed gently for you xx

fan - the chilli festival sounds great, DH would have loved that!! He's a chilli fiend - shame I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to hot food, not that I don't try!!!

mecha & trickle - 2 very different countdowns, but I hope that the time passes uneventfully for you both.

So pleased that Holly is putting weight on steadily wtw. Your pics of Erin's birthday and stone were lovely, I hope the day was gentle for you.

Hi to everyone else - sorry if I've missed anyone!

Have been really busy packing - carpets went down in the new house yesterday, looks fab, they have changed the look & feel of the house so much! We want to move this weekend - complete on Monday, so then we will be able to start looking for a headstone for Nancy!!

Still no BFP, but hoping that now house is going through and a lot of the hard work is done, that stress will be reduced which can only be a help when TTC!!

elly new house new baby, isnt that what they say? I have my fx for you. I know how stressful moving is, you'll feel so much better once in the new place.

oh blizy 18 months... Sending you much love. Like the others I am so glad to hear that there is a counselling option at the hospital, after all. I can't believe no one told you about it - but anyway, hopefully you will be able to see him/her asap and start accessing proper help.

trickle oh-so-nearly there now. Have you managed to arrange a big shop and get lots of food in before little one arrives? You mustn't go without food!
(I think your mice have moved into my garden, by the way... I saw one perilously close to the back door but I am in blatant denial hopeful that they won't come inside.)

mecha goodbye condoms indeed!
How are you feeling, physically I mean - managing ok, till the op?

little9 thinking of you for your appointment today. Hope it 'helps'. Let us know.

miasmummy you have had such a hard time - and so many mountains looming ahead of you. I don't doubt that you'll climb them all, but, my goodness - I am thinking of you. So, so hard. I recognise something of what you are saying about the DIY projects - our house is currently super-tidy - it's one thing I can do. Hugs for you. xxx

wtw ... I can't think what to say, really, but the phrase 'icy heart fear' is so and I can only imagine that I would/will be just the same. Lots of love to you.

Babyh I'm not back in a regular cycle or anything yet, either, although I have to expect various irregularities and problems for a while, after some issues that came up after my EMCS. I thought I had an AF but it turns out it probably wasn't. Who knows. Nothing I can do about it, so just have to wait and see what happens. I do sympathise with you, though.

elly really hope house move goes well! Moving is so stressful...
Do you already have ideas for Nancy's headstone?

Waves to angel, blue, fan, oh and everyone else too!!!
Not too much to report here, but life is going on. Every day we hope and wish and pray and long for our second child, and with the hope of that child, we manage to get out of bed in the morning. Who knows when we'll even be able to try 'properly' - what I thought was ov, probably wasn't - but, I tell myself, our daughter was amazing, perfect, and totally worth waiting for. So we CAN wait for her sibling, too, one little day at a time.

Thanks for the well wishes. Still waiting to be seen, they're running behind but they've put me in a quiet waiting room, which is not so bad.

I'm with you on the DIY front, miasmummy. Just done up bathroom and toilet, currently in the middle of decorating one of the spare bedrooms. Next is the lounge, other bedroom, our bedroom and hallway/stairs! I'm definitely on a mission!

Will check in again later and let u know how I get on, xx

Little- I hope you are ok?

Just popped on to pass my thoughts to little, busy, busy day with work.

little thinking of you.

Just been talking to a friend whose having fertility issues and she mentioned that her DH has started to eat walnuts, apparently they are good for sperm production. Might mention it to my DH. Nuts for nuts.

Hi fan at nuts for nuts!

Lol!! My brother in law swears by brazil nuts!! Sadly DH isn't keen on them :(

little hope u got some answers or resolution xxx
Nuts all round then girls???
Kleine hi that's a fab positive attitude you ve got... Hope u don t have to wait too long for your rainbow.. However, both my girls were definatly worth the wait & all the heartbreak ... Xxx
Elly glad you re move is going ok? Xxx
Bored here: of work & stuff never my Phebs just other stuff ( marriage etc....) maybe the last 2-3 years had been such an emotional rollercoaster that " normal" life is taking some getting used to... Don t get me wrong : I m not whinging just bored with some stuff... Sometimes feel like I ve out grown Ant particularly in light of all that's happened... We re not close any more just live together... This doesn t upset me , doesn t particularly bother me anymore as I feel totally fulfilled with Phebs...but I ve been putting the effort in to us for a while now & it's just not repriocated or it is for a short period only...
Never mind me: just whinging & I have Georgie & Phebs to be eternally grateful for if things don t work out ... Xxxxx

angel that's sad to hear. Have you and ant sat down and chatted? Or gone on a date night?

Fan hope you're enjoying the opening ceremony and your curry Sounds like you guys have had a good few days, I'm glad xxx

Little hope you eventually got seen and it wasn't too rough. Thinking of you xxx

Kleine what a lovely positive way to look at things. We've all been through so much, I'm constantly amazed by all our resilience xx

Elly good luck for Monday Moving house is never fun! Am sure blue's bfp came soon after a house move

Angel what a sad but honest post. Can you guys spend some time together just the two of you? The last few years would have taken their toll on any couples relationship. It's not surprising you've lost sight of what it's like just to be 'normal' after the intense early grief, ttc again, the stress of the pregnancy, a newborn plus all the time missing Georgie. Big hugs xxxx

School uniform shopping today - I remember the day so clearly last year; standing in Skoolkit getting K her first ever uniform less than a week after Erin died, trying desperately not to fall apart. What a difference a year makes.

Waves to all - how are our pregnant ladies getting along? And who is due to test soon? August how are you and Adam getting on? xx

wtw I should be testing in two weeks.

Thanks for thinking of me everyone. Mixed emotions really. Nothing showed up on the tests/pm. Good in one way for any future pregnancies, but annoyed that waters broke too early for Daisy to have a chance at life. Oh well. Am now back on the ttc wagon again. Feel like a weight has been lifted actually. Just want to thank all you lovely ladies for helping me to get through this. I know I've still got a way to go, but it helps knowing you're here.

Angel - hope you get sorted your relationship sorted. My DH and I have been through it a couple of times in the 19 years we've been together. Never an easy time, but if you both want to make it work it is possible. Big hugs, xx.

babyh - my doggies are my babies! Bless them. They're not at all spoiled!!

fan - ha ha. Nuts for nuts - tres amusant!!

Elly - good luck for house move.

Hello to everyone I have missed (and sorry). Am now taking my exhausted ass to bed - hopefully I will actually be able to sleep properly tonight (fx).

Thanks all for your kind words... Had a nightmare we'd split up last night & Ant was being horrible ( which is very unusual for him) this upset me ...also the thought of starting again frightens me . We ve been together 13 years & through so much ( even without Georgie ; redundcies , mil from hell etc etc...) so think I m just in a lull... He tried to make an effort last night
& I rejected him so tonight I m going to try .. Guess I do love him as the thought of being without him isn t good... Know we re just taking each other for granted & I ve felt neglected....
Little I felt like you was a relief after the pm results though I then beat myself up as to not being aware I'd had E Coli.. Xxx
Wtw glad Holly is well? Indeed , what a difference a year makes?? Bitter sweet isn t it? Xxx
Fan we haven t really got any babysitters up here as all my family live in the Midlands. One of my friend's babysits when she can but between her work , holidays etc... It's only been twice this year so wr don t get out very often on our own. Whenever we visit my mums we go out , last weekend we went to the flicks & pub ... So yes an option but not one we get very often I m afraid... We tend to do a lot of socialising independently I m seeing some mates on fri night.... It's hard when family are useless ( mil from hell) or live miles away..,,we re booking a weekend away in jan as Xmas present to us at Thorseby Hall a fab spa hotel we ve been to before & the grandparents are having Phebs...
Don t want to sound ungrateful whinging as I ve for my darling but with both working ant ; full time , me 32 hours now it's hard ..... We ve got Ibiza in 4 weeks fx that ll help...

Hope everyone is ok? Fab weather love to all must go at work now!!!! Xxxx

Hi all... Little that does sound so mixed - simultaneously a relief that it's over and that you can start ttc, and frustration that you've got no answers. Well done for getting through it though. Also, I'm sorry that I didn't say it yesterday, but I think it was Daisy's cremation yesterday too? If I've remembered correctly - what a day for you... I hope it went 'well'. And that you slept well, too.

angel oh, life is so, so difficult at times. I'm so sorry you guys are having problems, and really do hope you find your way forward, together. I think you're very brave to admit to it all - though I suppose half the battle is knowing that there are problems to address, rather than denying them. Your nightmare sounds horrid. Thinking of you and hoping that tonight marks the beginning of a new, more positive phase for you both x

I had a 'busy' day yesterday seeing friends and woke up feeling rather stressed and panicky today, so I think it was probably all a bit much! Have spent the morning watching a DVD and relaxing, and feel better now. Will do some packing this afternoon, we're going away for a few days. I don't know if I'll be on here much over the next week or so, but will be thinking of everyone. Love to all xxx

Angel- I'm sorry things with ant are not too good just now. I have no words of wisdom but I do hope you can both sort it out. X

Little- I hope you are doing ok today, I thought about you and daisy a lot yesterday.

I'm working today, first day with the 2 babies (18month and 7 month) and they are both asleep !

Kleine- I hope you have a nice relaxing time away.

Big waves to everyone else, must get on with some housework while the wee ones sleep.

Hi all!
had another appointment at the hospital this morning. It was an assistant of the consultant. Bump measures exactly 28cms, which is spot on for 28 weeks :)
She couldn't find the heartbeat very well, but she wasn't pressing down a lot either, but I felt little one kick away until she finally found it...
My urine sample showed up some protein so they sent it off to have it checked for infection, but the midwife said it will probably be ok.
They want to see me again at 34 weeks for a scan :)
Which is good, but on the other hand I'm starting to panic that they won't let me have a home birth... Forgot to ask them, so will have to ask the midwife in 2 weeks if I can still have it.

little been thinking of you yesterday! I hope the day went ok for you. How was little Daisy's cremation? was there a service?
I can understand your mixed emotions that they haven't found anything. Big hugs x and now get yourself into gear for ttc

Elly wtw is right, we moved house in December and I had my BFP in February So get those boxes unpacked! :)

Angel I know for sure that you and Ant will get through this... You're such a lovely couple!

blizy glad you had such a good time away! and hurray for possible counselling!

trickle hang in there! not long now x so excited for you!

babyh welcome and so sorry we have to meet you here! Adam is a lovely name! and tayto welcome too! x

mias how are you doing now? You must be about 24-25 weeks now?

mech on the countdown to your op? will pray that all goes well!

Hello there. blue Yay for perfect sized bump, but boo for possible infection. As for me, I am 26 weeks today, and have officially given myself permission to contemplate a few baby purchases now, so braved Mothercare for the first time in a year. 13 weeks to go...

angel sounds like you have been making some important discoveries about yourself and what you really want from your life in the past 24 hours. Without sounding all mystical and 'whooo', maybe voicing your concerns here also brought on your dream and other deeper feelings too.

trickle hoping you are enjoying these last few days, but bet that you are also very impatient now too - I would be!!

little9 while you didn't get anything clear-cut about Daisy, and it was all just terrible luck, at the same time, it sounds like you feel you can move on now. And remember what blue and fan said about houses and babies...!

kleine a very positive way of looking at things. Yes, our babies are definitely worth waiting for. If they had any idea just how much they are loved and wanted, there would be BFPs left, right and centre!

Hello to everyone else, hope you are enjoying the Paralympics, what a bunch of inspiring people!

Miasmum whoop whoop 26 weeks .. Fabulous ... Hope u re making it through all your anniversaries ok? Hope u enjoyed your shopping? Not much between u & Blue ? Take care xxx
Little sorry I didn t realise yesterday was Daisy's cremation hope it went ok as it could? Xxxx
Blue my word ...28 weeks wowee.... Glad all was well at the hospital... Thanks for u re kind words xxx
Blizy thanks ... Hope you survived those babies??? Xxxx
Kleine thanks for your nice thoughts.... We just have to keep working together... Relationships are so difficult aren t they ? It's too easy to take each other for granted? Your day sound s productive & busy . Nice to see friends but chilling also. Take care xxxx
Hope all are well? Knackered here from work now got to " man up" for sexy time!!!( or should that be " woman up"???) xxxx

Just quickly - early night tonight, before our psychologist appt and then few days away - but I HAD to share...
We got an email from DH's uncle today, first time we've heard from him since E died. It was quite long, so obviously I am paraphrasing, but it was very clear: "As you know, we adopted your cousin [who is DH's age], and we must tell you that we're not that happy with him. He has been difficult and doesn't have a girlfriend. We thought you should know that there are problems in every house."
!!!!!!!!!
I am rarely speechless. But - I don't know what he wins a prize for - but surely that must be prizewinning?!

blizy you are obviously the best childminder in the world. How lucky your future DCs are...
blue hope all continues to be well and that you will be able to plan to have the birth you want.
mias ... well done you.
angel at 'woman up' - enjoy...! I will be thinking of you (though not RIGHT now as that would be quite inappropriate ).
Love to all Xxx

Morning ladies.

Wow Blue and Mias, 26 and 28 weeks! Exciting times :)

Angel Thinking about you. It is not fair to have so much preassure and stress on two people. I hope things get easier.

Elly good luck on the move! The reduction in stress and worry can only be a good thing.

Little I hope Daisys day went as peacefully as it could, and I am sorry you didn't get the answers you hoped for. I love hearing about your dogs too, they sound so clever! I would love to do agility with mine but she is not terribly bright and doesn't always listen to me if there is something more interesting!

Fan I am still giggling at Nuts for nuts . DH has started eating super nutty granola for breakfast and I don't think he knows why I am giggling at him every morning!

Klein I am just at your DH's uncle! I mean that is prize worthy, but I don't know what for! Perhaps massive insensitivity? That is so outrageous I hope you were able to find it funny rather than upsetting? Enjoy your time away, are you going somewhere nice? Hope the appointment goes well.

Blizy hope the babies were not too difficult to be around. You are really brave and a wonderful person.

WTW A year is such a long time, and no time at all. Hope the uniform shopping went well!

I know what you all mean about control! I am doing my best to install order on my surroundings and it just isn't working. I have managed to do a lot of redecorating and mu house has never been so clean and tidy. I need to get back to work though. The forced tome off through illness has been good in a way, it has given me some time to rest and not worry about decisions and things. But to heal mentally now i need to get back into everyday life I think. Not long now!

I usually feel not too bad. I have a constant mild pain in my chest, and I can't eat much. Last night I had a horrible biliary colic attack so I am feeling pretty awful today! The pain is amazing, I find it worse than labour. But they only last 1-2 hours (only!!). Then they leave me feeling sick, weak and feeble for a day so I am really feeling sorry for myself. Four sleeps to go. am going into hospital on Monday and getting the op Tuesday. Hoping to get home on Tuesday afternoon.

Waves to everyone, thinking about us all. And now I am going back to bed!

Good luck with the op meach, sound horrible FX it's all sorted and you never feel like that again after monday.

Kliene so hope those mice don't come in - can you get hold of something that smells like a cat? Just to stop them thinking your house is safe - you can get rodent deterrants, as long as you don't have pet rodants or a minature breed dog they are supposed to be good.

Thanks everyone so lovelly to hear from you all, I'm doing OK thanks, few minor mishaps - the mattress was supposed to be delivered today but the delivery driver went to the wrong number. They told me he couldn't come back till monday and I had a very unlike me hissy fit on the phone - he's coming back this afternoon . I went to a local sling meet on tuesday and met some fantastic people - I've even got a new facebook profile so I can keep in touch with people . Sadly to stop any politics all of DH's family has had to be banned which I am quite about, it's the few that spoil it.

I now have 4 slings people have leant me and a definate that I want to buy myself (along with several others I'd love to have but that's just greedy). I have 3 invites to mother and baby groups and a few breastfeeding support groups. My best mate is back from down south with a car and it quite happy to come over and take me out in my wheelchair. I'm not sure how wise it is for my social life to explode right now but we'll see. The only problem is I keep telling people this is my first, I didn't want to do that, I feel a bit like I'm erasing Sproglet from history, but it's so hard to start a possible friendship off with such a bomshell. I think I'll just have to deal with it.

I think I'm finally coming round to the idea we will be bringing a baby home this time - though I'm still not totally convinced. I've been daring to practice with the slings and relearning my nappy folds (yes it's time to out myself as a true lentil weaver)

Oh and we finally decided that if we think it suits the new baby we will use Ash if it's a boy, it's the only name we really like, but it would be Ash William. May yet change our minds but at least we've allowed ourselves the possibility of using a name we love.

Take Care everyone, might not be abel to keep up but I do think of you all, I'm hoping when I can start following I'm going to come back to newly concieved rainbow babies, people nearing their due date, healthy happy older Rainbow babies and NO MICE!

Trickle Ash William is a wonderful name. Your hospital visit is going to be way more exciting than mine! Will be thinking about you and sending all sorts of good vibes. Happy lentil weaving! I am on Facebook if you would like to keep in touch. Totally non political here!

Take care xx

ooo just realised I missed a question - yes we did a really big shop and MIL has been here for two days helping DH to cook a freezer full of food into foil trays so we can just bung things in the oven . She's also taking a couple of portions with her so that if DH needs feeding but can't leave the hospital she can bring him in something that isn't a baked potatoe or a sandwich, DH runs on his belly.

wow lots happening on here the past couple of days.

poppet that is a shocking thing for a family member to say, your DH's poor cousin. What a horrible thing to say about anyone but also so insensitive to you.

trickle been thinking about you all day, cant wait to hear the news of baby trickle's arrival. Ash William is a great name. Do you have a girls name picked too?

mecha not long to wait till your op, it must be a relief to know its nearly here and you can start to recover.

blizy or should we call you Super Nanny! Hows it going? isnt ov week for you soon?

angel if only you lived near me I would babysit for you. How is it going today? Relationships are hard work, are you very touchy feely with your DH? I make sure I give him cuddles and pinch his bum makes him feel special. Might sound childish, but it does. Sometimes just staying in and spending time watching a movie or having a special dinner can be a step in the right direction. I think some blokes find it hard when theres a baby in the mix, they feel left out, or not top of your affection anymore. I hope your holiday away really helps, maybe ask the hotel if they have a babysitting service so you could at least have dinner together alone at least once during your holiday.

blue and miasmum wow you too are really growing now.

Well my tww starts now, Im going to try so hard not to obsess about symptoms this time, and I know I have said that alot but it does no good, so really going to try this time. Im loving this chill in the air, really loving the cooler nights, means I can snuggle up to DH with out him complaining Im making him hot!

Im loving the paralympics, such amazing people.