When to plan a baby

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi I desperately need some advice.Sorry this will be quite long.

I have two Ds from a previous relationship aged 6 and 7.Myself and my DP would love a child together we just can't decide when will be best.We are engaged and plan to get married in July 2014.

I am hopefully starting an access course this September and will be working part time.Dp is in full time work and has been with the same company for some time.I plan to go straight on to do a degree in Speech and Language Therapy.The degree is 3 years full time.

First of all im worried about coping financially.Secondly when do we fit a baby in is it best to wait until after the degree.Although obviously i know that will be quite an age gap and just because we want a child doesn't mean it will happen.We do count ourselves lucky to have our two ds however,i don't want Dp to ever regret not having had one of his own or at least tried to have one.I am 31.

If youve got this far thank you.

Bump

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Hi BNM, I had dd aged 21 then met dh when I was 22 & he was 19. He really wanted us to have dc quite early on but I didn't feel right rushing into it when I'd already messed up so far so wanted to do everything right 2nd time around. I signed up to do 3 year nursing degree then started working as a nurse. We then went to Australia on inheritance money & whilst there my then dp proposed and then 18 months on we got married. We started trying for a baby and were blessed to have a ds a year after we married and I was 31 and dd 10.
Anyway moral of the story is I really regret waiting so long and the 10 year gap is getting trickier to manage and dd is 13 awful age and ds is almost 3. We're trying for another 4th cycle and I feel slightly embarrassed that I'll be really pregnant with very teenage daughter, know I shouldn't but really wish I could just go back and do my nursing degree in stages which I've since seen plenty of student nurses do.
Life's so short if it were me I would have baby now and work everything else around that. It will help bring you all together as one big family. Good luck

Thank You so much for the reply.Thats what im thinking do i really want such a huge gap between children.I want them to be able to bond.

Thats just what i needed has given me something to think about.Good luck with ttc.

Anyone else with any experience of this?

I don't have any experience as we are TTC #1 but I don't know if there is ever a 'right' time to have a child - life is never perfect and you cant plan for everything.

We didn't plan to plan to TTC but after a tough year (DH got made redundant and then had to have spinal fusion surgery so no income for 12 months) we decided it would be nice to have something to focus on that was more positive.

I agree with oh whenever you decide to TTC you will adapt life around a new baby and cope, its only when you stop to think and over analyse that you talk yourslef out of doing something!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

You are right there is never a good time.I had ds1 when i was 23 and i lived of maternity allowance and child benefit as my ex didn't contribute anything.We never went without what we needed we just did'nt have luxuries so yes you adapt to whatever the situation.Thank you.

Oh and good luck for ttc too (smile)

Grr