IVF - want to be encouraging but don't know enough

[Cll]

Ok so my single friend aged 41 having had two failed attempts at donor insemination is doing IVF - she had a really long first phase (the bit when they put you into a sort of menopause) as they were waiting for a period that never came. Anyway they said her oestrogen was low and she was fine to start stage 2. She went for her day 8 scan (8 days seemed a long time to wait but..) and they said she had 4 maybe 5 follicles developing. She seemed a bit upset by this, I think she was expecting more. I came out with all the usual crap like well you only need one good one etc, but have no idea what the 'norm' is for follicles - how many is Ok etc. I'm going with her on Sat for another scan with egg collection scheduled for mon or tues. Any help or advice anyone who's been through this can offer would be greatly appreciated. She's spent a fortune on additional acupuncture and reflexology but was told by one of them she wasn;t being positive enough and now feels guilty about that! I just want to be able to help.

I have no experience with this at all but, I saw the program this week about the couple who had a 'designer baby' and she had IVF so they could screen the embryos first. When she had her eggs harvested they got 13 of which only 11 were mature enough. I wish I could offer more help, but shes lucky to have a good friend like you anyway!

Good Luck to her for next week!

Hopefully this will bump the thread up and someone more qualified will see it!

I had a friend who harvested 3 eggs, one fertilised-this was put back that egg is now a 4 year old dd.

cll - I had IVF so hopefully can be some help. Some women have as many as say 16 or 17 eggs harvested but then only maybe 12 will be 'good' enough'.
In my case during my successful cycle I only had 9 that were harvested and actually only 6 were mature enough. I went on to have twin boys.
In earlier cycles Id had many more eggs yet no babies at the end of it.
So your basic advice is right - only needs one or 2 good eggs to be fertilised to implant.
There is always a possibility that a treatment cycle will be halted at any time (eg. if the eggs simply arent strong enough) but fingers crossed this wont happen to your friend.
And tell her that the positive thinking thing is a load of crap (sorry) - i'm sure she's done absolutely everything she can to get and keep herself healthy for this and there is no more or less that she can do than that. If it doesnt work this time it is in no way her fault.
Good luck to your friend.
Kizziex

hi there, I've had IVF twice, both successful, the last time with only 3 eggs (from 7 follicles) of which just one fertilised.
HOWEVER, although it is of course true that it only takes one etc etc, I don't think trying to give your friend positive stories of other people's success is likely to make her feel better. When you go through a cycle, it is such a roller coaster and it is hard not to see every little setback as an indication that treatment isn't going to work. In these circumstances its not helpful to be told you must think positively - it makes no difference to the outcome, and realistically there is more chance of failure than success in any cycle - so I think a certain degree of pessimism is some people's way of coping and protecting themselves emotionally. But it is also true that even in cycles where things seem to be going not so well, there is still the chance of success and you just need to keep going until you know for definite....
Sorry, not sure if any of this is much help, I think though that really there is little that you need to actively do or say, your friend will just be grateful if you listen to how she is feeling. I'm sure you are being a great support to her.

thanks for that. quick update. They only got 2 eggs and we found out this morning that neither of them fertilized.. all that effort all those injections, all that money not to mention hopes and plans all gone without even really giving it a proper go. I am heartbroken for her but trying to stay positive. She booked a three cycle package so has two goes left. How soon after failing did others try again and did you use different drugs/different amounts of drugs next time around?

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