What's the likelihood I may be pregnant?

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Hello, I'm really sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section but it seemed the most appropriate place.

I'm 36, almost 37. I've three children, the youngest of whom is five, and have never had any problems conceiving.

On Monday I had unprotected sex with a new man - I know I know I know how stupid that was and I'm feeling really crap about it. I was in the fertile phase of my cycle - you know the part where your um... secretions are copious and stretchy - and I think I had a day or two more of fertile secretions after that before going back to normal/dryish.

I'm now worried I may be pregnant. How likely is it that a woman of my age may be pregnant accidentally from a one off instance of unprotected sex like that? It's been a long time since I tracked my cyle but I'm sure at this stage I should be feeling dry and I'm not. I feel wet and watery although it is not fertile stuff.

I'm overthinking it I know, but I'm so anxious and would appreciate any advice/know-how.

Thank you.

You need to wait and POAS.

And sort some condoms/contraception.

You can't get the MAP or a coil fitted this late after sex I don't think?

Well you know as well as me it's certainly possible.

Get the morning after pil if it is not too latel, get an IUD if it is and keep your fingers crossed. Assuming you don't want a baby?

And get yourself checked out at the STI clinic - sorry I know I sound like your mother

Sorry - didn't see the Monday bit of the post

Ignore me - I agree with hath

Sorry, what is POAS?

You're a day late for the coil and several days late for the MAP. Chances of conception are never more than around 25% and these odds change according to when you have sex, your age etc so you're more likely not to be pregnant. But you could be and all you can do now is wait a few days and poas. Do you know this person's sexual history too?

pee on a stick.

His history is one partner of a year before me, and then another partner of eight years before that. Beyond that I don't know.

I'm aware of how reckless I've been with my health and am feeling too stupid to talk to real life friends about it. Should know better at my age

Get to a GUM/Family planning clinic.

And get your sensible head on

I've had two accidents in my life and got pregnant both times, one ending in abortion when I was 17 and one a miscarriage two years ago. Go see a pharmacist and ask about the morning after pill.

Telly - it's too long since the unprotected sex for the MAP

How long is it until I can get a reliable pregnancy test result? Do I need to wait until my period is late or can you do it before that now?

I don't know but if I was you I'd test a day or two before AF was due.

Sorry, what is AF? I've looked on the abbreviations page and it's not there. I'm presuming you mean period?

Yes AF means Aunt Flo (I think??) but yes period.

It's just a waiting game now then. I've managed to work myself up into a total state, dwelling on every uncomfortable twinge I might feel in my breasts, and desperately trying to find my old cycle charts so I can compare the patterns of when I was pregnant then to how I'm feeling now, even though realistically I know it would be far too early for any 'symptoms'.

My period should be due around Tuesday/Wednesday next week so just over a week to wait. Wish I could just forget about it until then.

You could try using a v. sensitive test from about 10 days after you think you ovulated (order them online for the best ones very cheaply - you want ones that are sensitive to 10 miu) but you won't be able to rely on a negative until a day or so after your period is due. The good news is that it sounds like you do know roughly when you ovulated - best bet for that is the day after the last day of "egg-white" cervical fluid (which is the most fertile kind). The most fertile day for having sex leading to conception is probably the day before ovulation (last day of that fertile fluid) rather than the day of ovulation itself.

A v. sensitive test would give you the best chance of knowing v. early which might be good if you would want to arrange a termination. On the other hand it might also pick up a conception that is going to fail anyway.

You can have symptoms at this stage - I did from 48 hours after conception every time. (Three pregnancies - two early losses, currently 18 weeks.)

If sex is perfectly timed and you are both fertile the odds of conception probably rise to about 50% (but not all of those conceptions will make it as far as implantation or a successful pregnancy).

I reckon you were fertile at the time because that's probably why you threw caution to the winds in the first place - you are programmed to be reckless when ovulation is approaching! Apparently women are slightly more fertile with a new partner as well (sorry - not very reassuring.) Charting your cycle carefully so you know where you are might help you to avoid doing it again.

Hope that helps.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

Kalidasa I was definitely at the fertile stage of my cycle because I remember on that day and the day before (I think) that when I went to the loo (tmi alert) I had fertile secretions literally hanging in a long thread out of my body. I always recognise that stage of my cycle from when I was charting years ago. However I now can't remember how many days more I had of that before returning to normal. Possibly one or two. Which means I could have ovulated up to three days after I had unprotected sex which surely lessens the chances of being pregnant?

Also I went to the loo very shortly after we had sex and (again sorry for tmi) but I remember his semen leaving my body. So it wasn't hanging around for long. Does that make a difference? I remember doing shoulder stands after sex when I was trying for my daughter!

My mind is racing with the possibility of being pregnant and what I might do. I am already a single mother of three. I know it wouldn't be sensible to continue with another pregnancy but another part of me is thinking, we're a loving family and we'd manage. Would he be obliged to support a child that was conceived accidentally?

I am overthinking this. Surely it's very unlikely at my age that I could be so unlucky? I feel like a teenager crapping herself over what she might have to tell her parents.

Yes it does sound as if you were very fertile. Lots of women by your age will only be seeing one day of fertile fluid of that sort, or even not noticing any of it, so the fact that you have it for several days does suggest that you may still be quite fertile. Sex three days before ovulation is still in the "fertile window" but yes not as high a chance as just a day or two before. All that egg white dangly stuff is designed to help the sperm survive unfortunately which is why it peaks a bit before ovulation itself. Sperm probably doesn't usually survive more than three days but possibly up to five or even seven in ideal conditions.

I don't think the semen flowing out shortly after is very relevant. As I remember the active part of it gets where it needs to go pretty immediately which is how people get pregnant from sex standing up etc.

Not sure about the legalities to be honest. I did once read though that the portion of the women with the highest rate of accidental pregnancies is actually women in their 30s so you are definitely not alone! It's not only teenagers who get caught out.

Oh forgot to say - if you were charting you would actually discount your observation of your cervical fluid for the day after unprotected sex because semen flowing out the following day can seem almost identical to "egg white" cervical fluid. So you probably can't be completely sure about the fluid you remember from the following day. Sorry if you remember all this stuff from when you were charting yourself. I charted for contraception for years so it is all fresh in my memory!

It's amazing how much you forget to be honest. Thank you loads for your posts - they've been really helpful.