Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 10

[MoJangled]

Our new home, hope you all find me soon...

Wow Pocket that's quite a haul - hurray! So so pleased for you. Are you expecting to go to blast? I guess so with those sorts of numbers! Good luck with the next stage!

Mini and Cat I know it's hard but try not to think about symptoms. I agree with Pocket's points and believe that they certainly cannot definitely predict an outcome. I had no symptoms on the 2ww and 26 weeks in am still pretty much in that position... (well apart from the 5am wakings). Chins up ladies!

Sending some virtual love to Mo and Ginger.

And waves to everyone else!

I am off to (hopefully) sell my car today. to a dealer Although DH is in France so am having to do it solo - eeeek! Still, a new life experience for me I guess...

Pocket that is an amazing number of eggs - hope the next stage goes as well for you xx

Mo and ginger - I'm so sorry you are having to go through such a ghastly experience, still having symptoms, having to continue with meds and having the whole thing dragging on. It seems so cruel. Mo, re the planning party, life sure knows how to throw it at us sometimes - you're very brave - and it sounds like you missed your calling! You know, maybe you don't have to completely fall apart but you do need to be very kind to yourself. Perhaps there is some time in your diary to do something very lovely for you.

Cat and Mini - I'm sure this is the longest 2 weeks of your lives! No point symptom spotting whilst on the meds. You know it. Think positive!!! And Mini? Consider your self slapped!!

Oooh, pocket -congratulations on an amazing haul of eggs!! Are they all for you? Wow! Best wishes for lovely thick, welcoming lining, the development of wonderful healthy embies and a very smooth ET.

Badger -best of luck with the dealer!!

frosticle thank you! I am a lot better today. Back to normal and fx the insanity stays away now.

Badger good luck with the car dealer.

Pocket that's a great haul. Well done to your donor. Fx they fertilise well. yay on your lining as well.

Xx

Thanks Sunny, I hate that this has to happen to any of us, if I could wave magic wand we would all have trouble free pregnancies and healthy babies at the end of this roller coaster process.

Mo, you are very brave going to this 2nd party planning thing, I think I would have had to give that a swerve. I have been trying to carry on, business as usual, but I too find it difficult when faced with expectant mums. One of my best friends is expecting her second child, and my slimming world consultant is pregnant and now showing. I am happy for them, but it does break my heart that it is not me, and that I am no longer in that club. Be kind to yourself, and allow yourself lots of you time, to feel the emotions that I know you are most likely struggling with. Sending more virtual hugs.

Mini and Cat, I agree with the others re symptom spotting. We all do it, but it is a fairly inaccurate guide and just drives you crazy, so, if you can, try not too.. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you both for otd.

Hello bagofholly, not sure if we've met yet, but good to hear from you.

Pocket, fab news re donor eggs! Have you now heard how many embies? Best of luck for ET!

Badger, good luck with your car selling expedition, hope it goes well.

Hi Frosticle and Hoop and Italian if you are still out there somewhere?

Hey to all else I have missed.

AFM, I am struggling still. I am also having a tough time at work, which isn't helping, as my boss is off and another supervisor (and friend) is also having an awful time as her Mum is terminally ill, so I am having to take a lot of the strain from their workloads. Fortunately my boss returns in a week, so the pressure should ease somewhat then. I intend to book myself a massage soon as I feel like a ball of tension!

Love to all you ladies
xx

Pocket what a spectacular and wonderful amount of eggs! That's up to Mini standards! Everthing crossed for brilliant fert rates and a homely snuggly lining. Presumably this means it's looking good for blasts? Thrilled for you (so far) and willing the minipockets on...

Ginger what dreadful timing to have a work crisis at the same time as all this. I hope there's some space for your needs in everything that's going on. A massage sounds like a really good idea. I also came across this thread, on practical ways of coping with miscarriage by survivors. Some if it's about the acute part which you might not need now but there's also quite a bit about the aftermath. Don't look at it if it will make things worse, please, but there might be some things there that help. I tend to do better with disasters if I feel a bit prepared.

Badger hope you stuck your bump out and got the car salespeople's protective side going!

Frosticle how are things? Remind me where you're up to?

and how are the 2WW Queens Mini and Cat ? I'd love to advise you to tune out the symptom spotting but I know I'm totally incapable of it myself, so I'll just say to take courage from the good symptoms, which definitely prove it's working, and ignore the others/lack of symptoms because of course the drugs mask everything - and if you can pull off that bit of doublethink you'll have a positive, if neurotic, 2WW which is about as good as can be expected!

What's happening to Sarlat ? No time long hear?

AFM, your lovely kind words and support reduced me to tears - not for the first time. You truly are a very special group of ladies and I count myself lucky to have had your support going through this utterly shitty time. I'm in limbo really - can't actually believe it's over till we have the confirmation scan and I come off the drugs and stop feeling pregnant, so it's just a sense of impending doom and not being able to move on or plan. I'm probably heading for trouble with DH as he will want to draw a line under TTC, and I honestly don't know how to stop wanting another baby, especially now. But that's all for another day. In the meantime it's amazing how much I want to hang onto this pregnancy, even though we know it's not viable - I dont think I've accepted the need to say goodbye. Scan tomorrow so that'll move me on a stage.

Love and chocolate boobs to all

[mo] and [ginger] sorry I am so late in am so sad for you both. It is unfair. It is grim. My thoughts and hugs are with you we are here if you want to shout, moan, Blub share. Be very gentle on yourselves be kind to yourselves and other halves. Mo good luck with the scan it is hard but you can do it, do not feel you have to act or be a certain way do what feels right for you. Will be thinking of you.

[pocket] excellent news re number of eggs hope you get lots of great embies . Fingers crossed. Sorry I have not been here for you this time.

[cat] and [mini] oh the 2ww and symptom spotting so time consuming and pointless as the drugs change it all so why do we do it? I don't have the answer and yet am here boob watching knowing af is on the way madness. Distract , CDs and mumsnet of course.

Sorry I have been away hols were great but as seems to be the run at the moment came back to bad news. Still trying to get head around and support DM who decided to leave symptoms for over a yr! Only admitted it when I challenged her

Oops forgotten how to post names

Dear lovely Mo (^^) will be thinking of you tmw when you scan.

Mini fx for otd tmw.

Bugsy lovely to hear from you. And I'm sorry you've had stuff to deal with. It's just unfair. But good luck with the prodding. When will you test?

pocket well 3 large cheers for your donor. 18 is a fabulous haul. This is really exciting, I feel excited for you! When is ET do you think?

mini and cat I echo the others re the 2ww. It's just madness isn't it. But I too had zero symptoms before I got my BFP. So who knows. Are you both back at work? For me that was the key, and a bit of good old zita west's relaxation CD and also just accepting there is going to be a certain amount of googling!
When is your OTD girls? Mini
I think yours is tomorrow if I remember right? If so best of luck my dear!

bugsy it's great to hear from you.

mo and ginger I am sooo sorry you are both having a tough time. I'm no expert on miscarriages, only having 1, but I can tell you how terrible I felt after mine earlier in the year, so my heart goes out to you. It's so hard isn't it when you were finally there, and then it's like someone has pulled the rug from under you. And then everything feels so far away again. Mo I will be thinking of you at tomorrow's scan and praying for a massive u-turn in your situation. Anyway thinking of you both at this time.

And big waves to all! oxox

Thanks everyone for all the symptom spotting support, it's very reassuring and calming. How bloody annoying is the internet and all these stories of people saying 'oh i just knew as soon i was preggers.' makes me feel so unswitched on.

Mo I too am hoping for a massive u-turn for you, as Sunny said. Whatever the outcome at least soon it will be over and done with. Hope you are surrounded by treats and love at home and you know we are all thinking of you.

Ginger big hugs for you, you sounds amazing to be able to take the strain at work. I hope you have others who can help so it's not all on your shoulders? Hope you've had your massage and are feeling better. Hugs t you too.

Mini GOOD LUCK TOMORROW! Or was it today? FX for you!

Pocket amazing haul! Congrats!

AFM am calm, not angry or negative anymore and not worrying about symptoms or lack of too much. Am feeling distinctly AF like cramps and getting clumsy as usual week before but not giving up hope yet! OTD is thursday but DP going away for work Wednesday afternoon so thinking if either testing on weds or leaving it til sunday - days inbetween impossible due to work commitments. What do you think oh wise ones?

Hi girls

Pocket sweetie, what's the news with your lovely eggies? How many fertilised? When are you ETing? Firing random fertilising, growing vibes in your direction and hoping the stats keep good!

sunny I think 1 makes you more of an expert on miscarriages than anyone should ever have to be...

Cat if it was me I'd test early on Weds, get an ambiguous result, regret it, and wish I'd waited till Saturday! But actually I'd probably also test thursday and friday and not tell DH... So not much help from me! Very very good luck whenever you do decide to test, and Mini too.

We had our scan today. Do you believe in miracles? We really need one now. I expected to see the empty sac confirmed and for it to all be over bar the yuck. Instead, we saw a heartbeat and foetus, but measuring almost 2 weeks behind, so 4mm and heartbeat of 60 bpm, rather than 12mm and 160 bpm. So the baby is trying to grow but struggling, probably being beaten back by the subchorionic bleed and my immune system fighting it off despite all the drugs. From what I've seen after a busy hour of googling, the odds are almost non-existant of him/her catching up. But I'll take a sliver of hope over no hope, even though it might just mean stretching out the stress for a few more weeks. I went from tears to hysterical laughter to shaking like a leaf in the scan, and then elated, and now almost thinking that if it was going to be over I'd like it to be over now. The clinic have put me onto a massive dose of steroids in the hope that it'll give the baby a chance to make it past my defences. At least I can be pregnant for a little while longer...

Oh my god! mo that is amazing!!! What a trouper you have and you are! Everything, everything is crossed for you and mini mo, god what a rollercoaster for you. I can't believe it! Mega hugs!

Mo what amazing news. Been checking all day and desperate for your update. I believe in miracles - wow wow wow. Sounds like clinic is looking after you well. What's next? Do you have more checks and scans booked?

We are going for blasto transfer on weds... I don't know how many embies we have... But hope a good few make it to weds so we can have the pick if the bunch. And freeze some too. I dont want much do I!?!

dont stop believing

Mo - how amazing, and great they are acting to try and help the baby grow. Are you having intralipids or IVIG as well? On my first scan my little one measured 2.8mm and they didn't measure the heart beat but the heart was beating - and he caught up (had one extra intralipid to try to help) - oh, bless you.

Pocket yay I know you were hoping for blasts! Will they let you transfer 2 or 3? And let's have, oooh, 6 or 8 for the freezer? Go Pocketlets go...

Thanks Cat sending ur hug to Pip (working title for baby, size of orange pip...)

Hoop was that a 6 wk scan? How long did he take to catch up? Clinging to positive stories... Yes I'm supposed to have more intralipid too, if I can get it sorted - bit of a drama with an overseas clinic!

Oh Mo, that's amazing. What a roller coaster. So hope everything will be ok. At argc you could use a company called 'healthcare at home', and as their name suggests they'd come out to you to do IVIG or intralipids or whatever. Might that be an option for you?

Pocket, mini and cat, good luck to you and anyone else I've missed.

Oh Mo I will be keeping everything crossed for you. Your little bean is a fighter - just like its Mum.

Pocket blasts on Wednesday sounds perfect. Am hoping for top grade blasts for you.

thecat not long for us now. Hope work is proving a distraction. In terms of test date, day early should be fine. Does your clinic do post test care? If so I wouldn't delay the test as eg I know my clinic immediately reassess meds after test.

Thanks for all good luck wishes - OTD isn't till tomorrow as got put back a day as day six transfer.

Xx

Mo we're all believers here and am willing little Mo on. I was on a MN thread with someone whose dates were badly off and her clinic weren't very positive. She disappeared from the thread and I presumed the worst. Next thing I knew she was 20 weeks pg. We've ended up being friends in RL and her little bean is a gorgeous 5 month old now.

Pocket was a fabulous haul!

Cat and Mini everything crossed for OTDs xx.

DTs are being lovely at the moment - 12 weeks now. They have the most beautiful smiles and they seem to be pretty good sleepers. So I almost feel human again!

Waves to everyone else.

mo i know you are feeling cautious, but this is absolutely brilliant news. I believe in miracles and just that there was a heartbeart today is fantastic news. I can tell you for sure when I had my re-scan there was definately not a single thing there, and this sounds like a very different situation. Sounds like the other ladies have come up with some good ideas to get any drugs you can on-board. It makes me realise that there is potentially something clinics can do to assist at this point. So I would say go forth and seek out whatever meds you need to assist little pip! (love the name btw).

And best of luck to you mini and cat for tomorrow. We'll be waiting for the good news! oxo

mo feeling all fluey today and your news made me blub that's fantastic we all have everything crossed for you :)

Hello to everyone else looks like I will start injecting beginning of Nov so any cycle buddies out there?

Got my days completely confused, not testing til Thursday. Fx for you mini xx

Mo - OMG!! That is the most amazing news!! It really made my day. Grow Pip, grow!!

Think only warm, loving, happy thoughts and keep telling yourself you have a beautiful healthy baby growing inside you. (If negative thoughts sneak in, don't give them any airtime!!).

Cat and Mini - good luck! Looking forward to your good news.

I have a scan tomorrow to see how my lining is developing. My donor's EC is provisionally scheduled for mid next week.