Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 10

[MoJangled]

Our new home, hope you all find me soon...

The lister will also look after your immunes while you do nhs IVF

Hiiiii, me again, sorry for being so mememe and demanding but i have so many questions!
In terms of time off what have/are you ladies doing? My work is quite physical, takes me all around London so means early mornings/lots of travel and can involve heavy lifting. No one has ever had IVF at my work before so they are just working out what to do about me. Have/are you taking all of the 2ww off? Or does that result in complete and utter obsessive craziness? I have already told my boss i will need time off after EC but should i get signed off by a Dr for some/all of the 2ww?

I know this is all jumping the gun a bit but I just need to hear from lovelies going through similar, it's a whole new world to me and I don't know anyone who has done IVF before.

Thanks so much!

Hi Sunny. I agree with what Mo said re choosing your clinics. I have only got the chance to choose a clinic once as my first two cycles were NHS so had to go with the local one. For my private cycle I chose Care (Mcr) as I had read good things about Care and they seemed to have much better pregnancy rates than the clinic I was under for the NHS rounds. I think we made a good choice and was mostly pleased with our treatment. The only thing was I thought they would be more hands on and was expecting loads of scans and blood tests but after our initial blood tests at the start I didn't have to have another until it was all over. They said they would only do a blood test whilst stimming if the scans were not showing a good response. I was also very frustrated they wouldn't do one when I was pregnant but bleeding. I thought they would to chart my hcg levels, but they didn't. I'm still not sure why so will be asking this question at my review appointment. Other than those gripes though, they were very supportive and easily contactable and we got further with them than we ever have previously (with two frozen blasts which we are now relying on as our back up plan).

Sorry also about your worries re the lengths of your period and fears of being peri-menopausal. I don't really anything about that, but I also think Mo's suggestion makes sense, and you could mention it to your GP to see what they think?

Mo, am glad you are feeling properly excited now and the news is sinking in. I hope you summon up the courage to book that 6 week scan and all goes smoothly for you.

Sarlat, I think it is worth asking your consultant the question re immunes. I am going to do the same. I have had a test done for my NK cells and that came back normal, but as I've now had two BFN's and one BFP which implanted but then failed to grow then there must be some issue with my immunes?

TheCat, I second the brazil nut advice from Badger and also keep eating protein too! Grow follies, grow!

AFM, thanks all for saying I seem strong, but I am actually a bit all over the place. One minute I feel focused and strong and like I can DO this, and the next I am dissolving into tears, unable to believe it will ever happen for me. I'm sure my hormones are still all over the place too. DH is being very supportive, and keeps saying he doesn't like it when I get upset when he is not here for me, bless him. I am trying to keep distracted, but must admit I did have quite a big cry last night while DH was out. Am planning on having a lovely relaxing bath tonight and pampering myself and then cosying up on the sofa with DH.

Have a great weekend one and all.
xx

Oh Ginger sweetie. It's to be expected but I so wish I could take some of your pain away. I'm glad you're going to ask the clinic why they wouldn't do a blood test, I suspect knowing earlier would have spared you the weeks of worry and stress that you had and you might be a tiny bit further down the road to recovery now. I only had 4 days of uncertainty in June and that was deadful. Your bath and snuggle plan sounds perfect for this evening. In addition to immunes, have you had a hysteroscopy or anything to check your womb for scars, polyps, septums etc? Implantation problems could be physical as well as immune.

TheCatSofa (have I said how much I like your name btw?) I would avoid any heavy lifting or excertion for 7 days after transfer. That's what 2 of my clinics have said anyway; you dont want your embies to get jostled as they settle in! But you dont actually have to be off work for that. I must say that for the last 5 cycles I havent even told work and just juggled things, and taken it easy as much as possible, but that's personal preference and my job doesn't involve the physical elements yours does.

Saturday night Beliebings to everyone xxx

TheCat is it possible for you ask work for non-physical duties? I'd echo Mo's advice about no heaving lifting. I took 2 days sick (Mon and Tues) for EC and the day after and then worked from home for the rest of the week (which was helpful given my whole having to wee in a jug for a week experience!). I then had ET on the Saturday and was back at work on the following Tuesday as it was a bank holiday weekend happily coincidentally but I would have been fine to go in on the Monday if it hadn't been. Nobody at work knew I was cycling although I did tell our HR lady I had a small (non-specific) operation for the 2 EC days off sick. But I have a desk based job andnothing physical and autonomy over my diary as a partner so I knew I had flexibility if I needed it.

ginger I hope you had a good snuggle last night. Your hormones will be haywire at the moment which won't be helping but it is entirely normal to swing from feeling positive to being desolate. But the former will win out and your believing genes will take over. It hasn't happened yet but it *will& happen. Take care of yourself.

Ooops, will!

Cat - I took 3 weeks off for my first cycle starting from EC. That was a full IVF cycle and what my manager suggested. Not a phsical job for lifting but very physical in being on my feet and walking and working very closley to poorly people. This felt a bit too long to be honest. This cycle (natural cycle FET) I have 2 weeks off. I self cert the first week and the other week was by GP sick note. GP was more tham willing to give me a sick note and felt I ought to. Again, this feels a bit too long for me. Consider 1 week sick leave maybe follwed by light duties at work for the next week? Or go for 2 weeks sick leave if you feel that is right for you. I don't regret taking the time I have taken off work, it's just now I am further down the line I don't feel as inclined to take off as much next time. Personally (not based on anything scientific) I like going in to shutdown mode for the first 48 hours after transfer to take stress away from the body.

Next time, I intend to take 2-3 days leave only but I wil be doing FET which is a lesser process. If I did another full cycle I would aim for about 7-10 days from EC onwards away from work. But a lot does depend on the work environment. I have to be careful not to pick up bugs etc.

Ginger - I am so sorry that you are feeling so horrible. I won't compare my recent BFN to your experience but I am feeling the same way too - it's just a horrible dragging on feeling isn't it. I agree about switching from positive to negative thoughts. You and I have a lot in common. I had a BFP 2.5 years ago after natural conception which led to early miscarriage and now 2 BFN's after IVF. I will mention the immune stuff to my Dr too. Take care, we WILL get there.

Ginger being up and down is so normal. Allow yourself to do whatever feels right. I hope your bath and cuddles helped a little bit last night.

thecat yay to your follies! In terms of time off, I only took between EC and ET off last time but am taking full two weeks this time. I don't think it made much difference but I really want to try everything this time and my hours can be irregular so can't predict I would be as lucky as last time to have quiet period at work. Do whatever feels right for you.

Mo

sunnyg I look at both to be honest, as given immune issues seem to be more prevalent having a rate of pregnancy and live birth that are relatively close together seems important to me. I would probably swap a slightly lower overall rate for a clinic that manages to keep both relatively close. I have to say having now seen two clinics and spent hours sat in a cafe chatting to other ladies at ARGC (almost all of whom have had cycles elsewhere) I am astounded by the variations between clinics. Clinics that won't do procedures at weekends, ones that only do bloods and scans a handful of times during treatment (allowing OHSS), ones where everyone has same meds (and downright negligent ones that caused lost ovaries, spilt SA samples on day of EC) to name but a few. If you are going to pay for it I would make sure you look into every aspect of the clinic as you want to get the best for your money. I'm definitely not saying you should go down ARGC route as it isn't for everyone, it has just opened my eyes to some slightly frightening practices I was lucky enough to avoid.

AFm - drumroll - I have finally triggered . EC is set for Monday so had clinic free/injection free day. Yay!!! Managed to get a cold but very happy apart from that.

Happy weekend everyone xx

mo my friend I can feel the excitement in your words. And so you should feel excited. When is your first scan? Am sooo happy for you!

sarlet just to echo what others have suggested about potentially have immunes alongside your NHS treatment. I have a friend having her 3rd and final NHS treatment soon with Dr Gyorgy's immunes alongside. Her NHS clinic have even pushed back her start date so that she can get the immunes sorted and going first.

ginger I really feel for you at this time. after my MC in June I was all over the place. Some days I felt okay and other days I honestly couldn't stop crying. And it definitely is your hormones all over the place. Don't forget you've probably been on some kind of hormone medication for some time now. It's the elation of getting your BFP then the complete crash of finding out it didn't develop as it should have. And then the 'are you kidding, I have to go through all of that again' feeling. But luv, do not stop believing. It's taken me a few months but I'm firmly back on the believing train and you will too.

the cat I agree with everyone's suggestions re work. I was lucky that EC fell on a Friday and I was fine to go back to work on Monday. I took the day off for ET but that was it. I have a desk-job but I am on my feet quite a bit. But I totally think it's whatever you feel is best for you. But definitley nothing physical and no heavy lifting.

mini woo hooo here comes EC! Good luck, good luck for tomorrow my dear. Let us know how you get on. Hope the cold isn't too bad.

Thanks all for the advice re clinics, rates etc. All really good points and has given me some things to mull over. Still not really any closer to a plan for our next treatment but DH has some big work and study deadlines tomorrow, so once they are in I am going to sit down with him and try and go through some of the thoughts in my head.

Hope everyone has a good week ahead oxoxo

Mini Woo hoo with the EC confirmed for tomorrow. Best of luck to you my dear?. Transfer on Thursday or Saturday??? I agree with Mo?s Zita West CD recommend ? I?ve found it really helpful for relaxation but maybe you wont need it now you're on your way!

Badger my lovely, how are you doing? Are you properly bumpy now? Hope you?re having an uneventful pregnancy and that Mini Badger is doing well. Any funny cravings? Loved your song lyrics ? really apt. Thank you for always looking in on us, it helps me stay focussed on why i'm here!

Dear Mo so lovely to hear that your wonderful news is sinking in. How exciting plotting your EDD ? we need to be positive and look forward. Yay for the drugs delivery, may every little bit help Little Mo grow big and strong.

Cat wow that?s great news about your follies doing so well. Hope you get your EC date confirmed soon. I?ve taken the 2ww wait off for my two previous rounds. I?ve also booked the time off this time too ? and yes, it does turn into two weeks of complete craziness (thankfully DP is off this time so he can entertain me, and we may go away for a few days too). I know that you should rest for a few of days after transfer ? I had the same advice as Mo. Thereafter life can get back to ?normal? easier for those of us with desk jobs but I?m worried about the heavy lifting you mention. Can you do as Badger suggests and ask for non physical duties? Or could you take some time off work? It may seem over the top given that so many women don?t even know they?re pregnant for weeks and they and they dont rest but why take any chances if you?re going through ivf?

Ginger its really okay to cry. And bless DH, he sounds like a honey. But allow yourself to believe that this will happen for you. Remind me was this your first round?

Sarlat hope the immunes thread is useful. If you don?t feel comfortable doing another round without testing, then don?t. Explore your options. As the other girls have said, you can get immunes done separately to your ivf ? and I think its fairly easy to tie the two treatments in together.

Sunny you?ll know when the time is right to start again. I did love our break earlier this year (so nice to get back to normal) but given our ages we couldn?t hang on too long. In terms of choosing clinics, I phoned a few before we picked. The key things were reputation (a friend of a friend used my clinic and fell pregnant first round with just one egg) and vibe (I just felt comfortable with the clinic I chose and I adore my consultant - Dr Venkat at Harley Street Fertility Clinic hsfc.org.uk/). It?s a small clinic, all the staff know me by name and I always get a cup of tea and a hug. Given I?ve spent so much time there, feeling comfortable was important to me. I don?t know much about being peri-menopausal but I?m sure that any good clinic can advise and give you the relevant meds to support you during your ivf so don?t let that worry you as I?m sure they could find a solution for you.

Thank you for all your kind wishes. We are on our way.

Don?t stop believing and chasing those dreams

Sunny i'm really sorry if my post suggested that you were peri-menopausal. i have absolutely no idea about it and I do hope you're not. But what i meant to say was that 'if' you were or if there was any query about your cycle, a consultant/clinic should be able to diagnose and medicate you for this so dont let it worry you. xxx

Thanks everyone for the advice and thoughts about work time off. Can you tell me why you all decided to take off time between EC & ET? I was assuming I'd go back to work inbetween and take more time off after ET. I reckon I should be able to do lighter duties as suggested Badger & Mini, work will just have to deal with it! I don't want to take any chances!

Mini congrats on your trigger and EC date, best of luck for tomo. My EC should be Wednesday, fingers crossed..

Hi - I took time off between EC and ET as I had a sedation so couldn't work for next 24hrs anyway, and I was actually rather sore after EC and physically felt the need for 2 days off. As I didn't know when my ET would be, it was easier for work to cover me continuously than for me to say I will not be in but not sure when (when I am not there someone has to do my job) and continuous absence is better for my absence record that lots of shorter absences. Hope EC goes well for you.

Mini - all the best for tomorrow.

Mo, I haven't had a hysteroscopy but I have had a hysterosalpingogram which I believe is very similar and checks for cysts, polyps etc and that was clear. Every test I have had so far has been clear which is why it has been so frustrating and confusing as to why it has not happened for me (yet).

Thanks Badger for your support, it is so lovely that all you ladies believe for me and I'm sure I will get back to that positive place and start believing again.

Thanks also for your comments Sarlat, and sorry you are feeling so horrible too. Let's look into our immune situation and then both go for it ey?

Mini, YEY for EC tomorrow. All the very best of luck for a great haul!

Sunny good luck with all the planning. Hope you work out a plan that is right for you sweetie.

Pocket, it was my third round of IVF (icsi), first two were NHS, this one was private. Both prev cycles were BFN. When is your transfer, do you know yet? Loads of luck to you that all goes well.

I've got a blood test in the morning to make sure my hcg levels are back to zero or as near as. Am not looking forward to it, and really hope I don't pass out again!

Take care all!
xx

Mo - CONGRATULATIONS!! Fantastic news! I'm so happy and excited for you.

Pocket, Cat and Mini - Good luck!! You're next!

Sunny - I agree with Mo - try charting. You'll get a really clear picture of what's going on. Your periods are completely regular so I seriously doubt you are perimenopausal and 35 is a bit too early for that anyway.

Ginger and Sarlat - I'm so very sorry about your results. I'm sending you both a virtual hug and hope that immunes hold the answer for you both.

Italian - I'm delighted that you are making progress on the adoption route. A friend of mine adopted a 2 yr old child last year and couldn't be happier. It was a long process but very much worth it. From being on threads with you before, I know how much this means to you and the journey you have been on.

Apologies to anyone I've missed. I find it hard to keep track when I'm not on here every day.

AFM, the downregging has gone well and I feel completely healthy/normal (is it actually doing anything??). I go for a scan on Thursday. I received a hand written document from my egg donor (clinic standard procedure, I think) - brief information about her, her reasons for donating and a goodwill/luck message. She sounds lovely and most importantly, someone who would be kind if a child conceived from her donated egg were to contact her in 20 years time. I feel very grateful to be the recipient of her egg(s) (all being well!). I sent her a message back, via the clinic.

Thanks for the virtual hug Frosticle, I'm sending one right back at you!
Lots of luck for your scan on Thurs. Your donor sounds lovely, I hope all goes well with the rest of your cycle.

I had my blood test this morning and managed not to faint! However, the clinic called me this afternoon and my levels are still not at zero (they are at 19) so I have to go back for another test next Mon. It just feels like this process is dragging on and I just want to be able to adjust back to some normality before starting the process again!

Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Waves to everyone!

Mini how did today go? Hope you're okay my dear.

Frosticle how nice to know you have a lovely kind donor. Any idea of dates for you yet?

Ginger sorry you've got to wait a bit longer. You do become an expert at waiting on this journey that's for sure. And it doesn't seem to get easier either. Hope next weeks blood test brings better news for you.

I've got a scan on Thursday to see how I'm getting on. Hopefully I'll get my transfer date firmed up. Isn't it amazing how you can put so much on hold for these dates that are made out jelly and which move about so much. And all the while keeping it a big secret from the world!

Ohmigod Ohmigod you guys! I just had to do my trigger shot in the theatre loos in the middle of legally blonde.. Classy!

Ginger - thanks for the good wishes and return hug (I definitely feel the benefit!). Well done on not fainting - go Ginger!! I agree with Pocket re all the waiting and delays. It's one of the most frustrating things and you have my sympathy. Hopefully by next Monday you'll be down to zero.

Pocket - good luck for your scan on Thursday! I'm not sure of dates for me - it depends on how the donor responds - but I think it'll all be happening around the last week in October. Still seems a long time off.

Cat - just seen your message. That'll make it memorable! Hope it goes well.

Frosticle great news about your donor. There are some amazing people in the world aren't there? end of October is getting closer everyday! The time will fly by.

Mini how are u love? How did your EC go?

Ginger sorry about the waiting, agree that it's really frustrating. More virtual hugs and cakes being sent your way!

Pocket Good luck for Thursday.

Hi everyone! Sorry for radio silence, I?ve had quite a bit to take in over the last week and have been working in the office a lot, will try and catch up now ? mammoth post alert

sarlat so sorry to hear your news, I?m afraid I?m not much use with what to do next as I'm still relatively new to this stuff but I hope you get some answers. I like mo?s suggestion of some private treatment alongside the NHS, my acu is affiliated with Zita West and they have a nutritionist on site too.

ginger so so sorry to hear your news too, I can?t imagine how you must?ve felt, big hugs, there must still be so many hormones floating around your system so don?t worry about hitting the occasional emotional wall that?s totally normal x

mo! FOUR?! Well sod the British regulations, it worked and that?s the bloody main thing

Italian that?s great news that you are off and running, I?m sure it will move at a rate of knots now

cat I had to push for any information at all, at my baseline scan I only got ?yeah s?fine? when I asked, realised yesterday I had no idea how many antral follicales there were then, and I feel like I could?ve been prepared a little better for the lack of response tbh. My second stim scan was with an older nurse and was a lot more informative. Lol at the theatre loos though

badger with your due date I hope you are planning on spending the whole of Christmas being waited on hand & foot? Make the most of it

pocket so excited for you keep believing

mini I hope yesterday went well, fx!

sunny I am 35 too, and I have definitely noticed my AF is shorted and lighter in the last 2 years that I have been monitoring it ? mind you my FSH is on the higher side [12] and my AMH on the low side [4.22] so I may not be the best to judge!

Frosti what a lovely note to receive, it must put you in such a positive place for the whole thing!

Phew well that wil teach me to go AWOL for a week!

AFM as expected cycle was abandoned on Friday, womb lining was ?beautiful? and follicle was ?perfect?? but just the one at 18mm [1 other at 10mm]. And, oddly, it was on the wrong side! [Long story short: Ectopic 13 years ago, removed R tube, hycosy in April showed R ovary damaged and inactive] So it appears the R ovary is the only one that showed any signs of life this cycle, very odd. L ovary entirely dormant Nurse thinks I just didn?t respond at all to stim as in her opinion this is a normal cycle. Personally I think the down reg worked TOO well and will push for short protocol next time.

So I have a great womb lining, and a potentially great egg on the other side to the only bloody tube I have although I am aware tubes can catch from either ovary so have put it all in the lap of the gods now. Consultant said I could take trigger shot [good job really as I was going to do it anyway ] and told us when to SWI [have added in a couple extra for good luck ] but said no to progesterone so I am mildly mentalling that if by some miracle it does work it won't be able to stick, will be POAS from about 10dpo daily to try to pick up the faintest hint of HCG so I can go back and demand progesterone immediately?

Have continued with acu as had sessions booked & pre-paid for IVF anyway, had womb prep session yesterday and going back tomorrow for the ?post-transfer? session just in case?

Otherwise, plan is to go back on 18th December to see consultant and discuss what happened, with a view to trying again in the New Year [and will be very insistent about short protocol, tbh that?s what I wanted to do this time but they assured me success was better in long ]

waves to anyone I've missed

thecat yay on triggering. Good luck with EC. I loved legally blonde - perfect girly giggly show.

scarlett I am so sorry they cancelled your cycle but at least you can still SWI and that is a far far more fun way of doing it

ginger well done on not fainting. It is cruel how this is dragging out and never thought I would wish anyone for their levels to drop, but am definitely hoping and praying it goes to zero soon.

frosticle what a lovely, kind, donor you have.

Sorry for the slow reply ladies and thank you for all the good luck wishes. Unfortunately I was very poorly yesterday after EC. Thankfully feel almost back to normal today, if still a little sore, so taking it quite easy. They managed to collect 18 eggs which astounded me as they kept talking about ten, and we got 8 last time so was expecting around that. Looks like the long stim definitely helped! Got the call today to say 16 fertilised with ICSI so now waiting game to see what happens from here. I am chuffed with number but very cautious as I know it is quality we need not quantity, and we had good fertilisation rate last time and still didn't work. let's see what tomorrow brings.

Hugs and to all. Xx

Ooooh fx mini 16 is a nice round number

Great mini! Well done you and ypur DH and your follies! We're u under general? It's horrible, I'm not looking forward to it at all. Rest rest rest and be very gentle with yourself. Fingers crossed for all your mini minis.