12 months on and most people on my TTC thread are pregnant so I'm starting a new one! Come and join me if you've been TTC a while or are TTC after pregnancy loss... we've been through it all!

[iloveberries]

iloveberries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. Will be starting TTC again after my next AF.

Still following the ladies on my original TTC thread but most of them are now pregnant so whilst I'm delighted for them I wanted to start a new place for those who have been TTC for a while and are still awaiting a healthy, sticky bean in the right place.

All welcome..... nothing if off limits, nothing is TMI, no 'babydust' though please

[Munchin]

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I had lovely meal and lots of with the girls yest. This had been planned for a long time and I couldn't help feeling sad as it hold have been when we would have announced our news. But cest la vie I suppose!!!!

Thanks berries. Hope you felt better over the weekend.

disco hope the 90th birthday party took your mind off things.

moo any news? Hope af stays away and that this is your month.

hellokitty sorry af came and that this tic is taking so long. At least you can focus on appointment and feel like your doing something.

[festiemum]

It's bloody frustrating moo, when you're after a definitive 'now this will happen, followed by this'. But unfortunately we're all different; therefore, there's myriad 'normal' physical responses :(

Wait and see seems completely unfair and shitty when you've already done far more than your fair share of waiting.

[MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong]

Morning lovely ladies!! Quick update from me as I'm trying to dry my hair, but in good old moo fashion I POAS this morning. Faint positive. Not getting excited, remaining calm until I get darker lines (crosses everything) as this happened last month! Haven't told DH, have got an FRER and 2 digis on standby!!

Will pop in at work.

[Lilliana]

Sorry to crash but had to eek at moo! Fx you will be joining us soon. DO NOT POAS until tomorrow morning, you will give yourself more q's than answers and you know you need fmu with all your experience x

Hi everyone else!

[MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong]

Thanks Lil don't worry, in work now so no chance of POAS and as you rightly said, going to hang fire until the morning with FMU (cos that's the best).

[iloveberries]

moo this could be amazing news and then i will feel REALLY smug that the thread i started is so lucky . I am so excited for you. it has been a long time coming.

I am a bit up and down. I had a really horrible day yesterday, cried for most of it. I still feel so so sad about the ectopic. Everyone around me is pregnant and i felt very sorry for myself "why is it so easy for them and not me". I feel a bit better today, haven't cried yet but it is only 8.41 so there's still plenty of time .

AF arrived this morning and I was delighted to see her! Got out my calendar, marked day 1 and counted to day 14-18 when i reckon i will be fertile, put a scribble in the calendar and said loudly and firmly, "Let's get pregnant" to no-one but myself really, then DS turns round and says "let's get pwegnont". bless him. Am hoping, I know totally unrealistically, that i could defy medicine and get knocked up this month. Fine balance between being optimistic and getting your hopes up too much isn't it.

moo - keeping my fingers crossed for you. When was AF due and how many DPO are you?

How is everyone else this morning? xx

[MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong]

berries so sorry to hear you are feeling low have a and some

Hope that any news on this thread does not add to your burden as well. But YEY for AF (again, never thought i would be saying that). Bet you are so relieved and glad that it has finally arrived and you can get cracking. You show those stupid doctors exactly who is boss :) And your son is soooooooo cute saying that

As for me, the ladies seem to be getting sore and I am feeling a little odd. I am currently 12dpo today, as I think I may have ovulated later than I thought. AF not due until Thursday, so 3 days to go.

When does anyone thing I should crack out the Digi??

[Countmyblessings]

Ohhh Moo this is exciting!!!! Next time you pee I would put it in a container and maybe save it so if you feel the need to stick dip u have the good stuff!!!!! FMU!!!!! That's what I did I got a faint and did a digi and the counter took ages and I was holding breath when it said pregnant 1-2!!!
Have all crossed Moo!!!
Whoooop on the AF returning ilove - I'm praying it will be your month and give me hope when I can TTC as no 1st period here yet!
Not worried just want it to come and go!!!
Had loads of cramping and strange pains do maybe!!!

[iloveberries]

hiya count - my first Af didn't come for 6 weeks after the EP then this one was 32 days which is pretty normal for me.

moo - I am always happy when there's good news on this thread! ESPECIALLY if that good news is yours. Well you've started testing now so there's no stopping you and no point in me telling you to wait till 14 dpo! so do test again tomorrow with FMU. I agree with count to pee in a pot.

I thought CB digi only worked from 1st day of missed period so maybe save that one till thurs?

Went out to playgroup this morning and survived all the babies and bumps! DS was being very cute. very lucky to have him.

[Countmyblessings]

Thanks ilove - It's been about 3 weeks since my op so I'm just waiting quite scared of the pain as when I had my MMC and my AF came it was very painful!!!!! Handled so many pains I don't know why I'm so scared of my AF coming!!!!! It seems so long ago now that I was pregnant like a distant memory don't know if that's a good or a bad thing really!
Just coping!

[Munchin]

Moo I'm getting very excited for you. I don't blame you poas, I'd be the very same. I buy opks and hpt from a site called testsforless. I have found them to be as sensitive as clear blue or first response. I tested positive with them 2 days before AF due on my dd. So fingers crossed for you.

Berries it is weird to be happy to see AF and I will be exactly the same if she ever comes back. You now can start again and feck your doctor!!! I smiled at thought of doctor telling you to be careful
using a condom after moths of well planned ttc.

count we seem to be in same boat waiting for AF to come back.

[Munchin]

Moo I'm getting very excited for you. I don't blame you poas, I'd be the very same. I buy opks and hpt from a site called testsforless. I have found them to be as sensitive as clear blue or first response. I tested positive with them 2 days before AF due on my dd. So fingers crossed for you.

Berries it is weird to be happy to see AF and I will be exactly the same if she ever comes back. You now can start again and feck your doctor!!! I smiled at thought of doctor telling you to be careful using a condom after months of well planned ttc.

count we seem to be in same boat waiting for AF to come back. It's nervy alright to be back at starting point again. Hope you don't have long to wait.

[MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong]

Not good news I'm afraid. Have started bleeding. Can't believe this is happening.......again. not even a warning, no cramps, nothing.

Feeling very down, but just have to try and move on.

Thank you for all your earlier support. Looks like i'll be needing those fertility drugs after all.

[iloveberries]

oh moo, mate that sucks. totally crap, am gutted for you :(

teeny teeny faded silver lining for you... we are cycle buddies! Ok not much of a silver lining but if you have to spend June TTCing with someone wouldn't you want it to be your old pal berries!! Day 1 for us both today. C'mon June and no POAS next month till 15 dpo at least.

When is your next appt at docs?

[iloveberries]

munchkin - you're right it is totally weird to see AF but reassuring that cycles are back to normal 10 weeks on. Hope you are dealing with your loss ok.

count coping is good. agree it seems like a distant memory for me too. I think it's a good thing though as it allows us to move on. Next pregnancy will be (1) in the right place and (2) one which sticks for us all!! We will be taking babies home with us in 2013. :)

[Discolite]

Moo fingers crossed it all goes well tomorrow morning!

Berries I'm sad you're sad. Sometimes you just get hit by stuff, don't you. I had half planned to announce my pregnancy to the wider family at the 90th birthday party so had to do a big old stiff upper lip thing.

Being sad still is still very normal though. A study cited on Wikipedia shows that 25% of women still present with significant emotional distress three months after pregnancy loss. I suspect that you and I are not quite in that category (correct me if I'm wrong) but do have some bad days/weeks. It seems that bodies mend quite rapidly but hearts take a lot more time...

The same goes for you Muchin, time will make you less sad but just keep putting one foot in front of the other for now.

The party was great actually! Everyone had a lovely time, especially my Grampy who enjoyed being the centre of attention so he could say outrageous or daft things as usual!

And yes, Berries it did take my mind off sex !

Count don't be scared. You are a strong person I can tell and AF will be hard but you'll cope. You've coped with much worse. Besides, you have to have AF so that you can get pregnant again, right?

Still having to DTD every other day as I still haven't ovulated! CD27 now. Even after the miscarriage I ovulated on CD28...may have said this before but I really really don't want to ovulate on CD28 every bloody cycle. A regular 42 day long cycle would do my head in. Although of course I know regular ovulation is much better than no ovulation.

I've started decorating my dining room! I spent about an hour just painting the ceiling rose. It's a really big one, at least 2 foot across and very ornate in it's Victorian way. And fiddly to the max! Argh! Still, I got the ceiling painted and hopefully it won't need another coat...then at least it won't be too difficult to paint around our new dining table that is arriving from Malaysia next week. Once it's in position I don't think we'll be moving it again in a hurry...it extends to seat ten! Maybe getting the DIY done will work for me like it did for Rusulka

[MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong]

Thanks berries and of course I'm delighted to have you as a cycle buddy. Bleeding is only ahem internal at the moment, not heavy at all so am still putting it down as spotting until I see some on a liner or I need to put in a tampon.

It truly sucks though!

Am so angry at my body.

And sorry for the self indulgent posts. Promise to read through more carefully tomorrow and respond.


The lack of cramps is making me think it might be nothing but I know that this is probably not the case.

[Discolite]

Moo I'm really really sorry...two chemicals in a row just sucks. Drink some and try to take comfort in your normalising cycles.

Most of all though, don't give up hope. It'll no doubt continue to be exasperating if not heart breaking trying to get pregnant but you will get there.

[Discolite]

Also Moo I don't want to give you false hope but wait and see how things develop. I had three days of spotting before I got my BFP and five days of spotting afterwards. I know it didn't end well but I don't think that was down to the spotting.

[Countmyblessings]

Ahhhhh thanks Disco and ilove I know I have to have AF it's just hard to start at the beginning after nearly a year! Blah!!!
Moo - I'm just do gutted for you, that's just crap, but it will happen and it will be a good firm maybe even double sticky ones!!!!!

[Munchin]

Ah Moo really sorry if af is coming but like disco says wait and see before totally throwing in the towel this month.

Thanks Disco it's surprising when the pain/grief turns up o bite you. Fair play on the decorating nothing like a project to distract you.

Sorry for my double post earlier. Obviously hit post before I was finished. Can you delete a post you have wrote???

[Countmyblessings]

Munchin - yes same boat! Hand holding and support all the way!!!

[hellokittydrivesmenuts]

moo - hey sending up some prayers for a BFP and and and AF neg!!! keep positive hon i know it must be hard but hey its a BFP that may just stay a BFP!!! xxx
waves to all xx

[iloveberries]

moo - you're not being self indulgent at all. we are all allowed to say how we feel. That's the point of MN. Was thinking about you yesterday and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

count - god i so know how you feel. I am also back at the beginning after a year but, uh oh, worse off really as i'm a tube down so i feel like someone has actually put me back a bit (now who's self indulgent moo!!) We just have to believe it will happen for us though, and it will. I am using joby from the EP thread as my inspiration! And the 2 girls I know in RL who have had healthy babies relatively soon after EP and tube removal. It will happen. I am a total fatalist and although it is near impossible to see that the EP happened for a reason I know when i do hold my baby i will look at it and know that that was the baby i was supposed to have.

disco - thanks mate. I feel a bit better today. You are spot on. I wouldn't say I am significant emotional distress but it just rock up to bite me from time to time. Usually when others announce or when I get to "would-have-been-milestones". I find MN more helpful than ever at the moment so thanks to you all. Don't know where i'd be without it. You and Your DH mujst be EXHAUSTED with all that shagging!!! I am not sure how I am going to cope as i reckon we've only done it a handful of times since I got my positive test back in feb. Glad gramps party was good! 90 is a cracking age to get to and still be on good form! Good one the DIY, I am also decorating. I think it's good to have another project other than TTC! Helps you feel you're achieving something, right?

moo - come aloong and tell us how you are soon please love - been a little worried about you xx

[iloveberries]

count BTW I didn't mean i am worse off than you, I meant worse off than when I started a year ago!

Oh, and another year older too.... darn it!