Refurbished Sleigh bringing January sales and Valentines Day babies

[LimeLeafLizard]

Right I'm going to be bold and start a new thread to drum up some energy for anyone ttc a Jan / Feb / Spring 2013 baby.

Does anyone want to join me on this flight?

i've killed the thread!! i just get stressed. difficult for me to manage work and 'me time' as it is and i'm only a part-time worker. When i left school i worked full time for a few years, can't imagine how i managed that now. Guess the pressures and demands on you seem to build up as you get older.
I've just fitted new router and untangled about a mile of old cables snaking round the home. exhausted but going out for some fresh air.

No you haven't blackcats - I'm still here....

Just to respond to what you were saying - I've really relished being a working mum. I feel I get so much more out of life than if I were only doing one thing or the other. I love DD to bits and I can't imagine how I ever felt satisfied with my life before she was in it. But equally I know that staying at home, just to be with her, would be really limiting for me - I would long for a change of scene. To have both motherhood and career in my life makes me feel fantastically fortunate.

I hope that your impression of how difficult it must be isn't impacting your decisions about work. It's always hard to imagine a situation until you're in it. Lots of people have said that they can't imagine how DH and I are coping since we lost DS - and I would have hated to try to imagine it myself - but we're still here and life continues and we're even still happy (not every day, but mostly).

I'm not commenting on your work balance at all - just trying to say that the reality might not be as bad as the perception. If the fear of working full time is all that's holding you back from applying for a job you'd really enjoy, then why not 'feel the fear and do it anyway' as the book says. You might surprise yourself.

I might have totally got the wrong end of the stick - in which case, apologies - just wanted to give you my perspective. And, actually, I don't even work full time - I have Mondays off with DD - so it's not as if I'm completely on the other side of the fence.

Interesting to read other peoples thoughts on SAHM v's FT work in a reasoned and non bun fight way. Sadly being a SAHM isn't an option for me, I earn significantly more than DH and couldn't afford to live on his salary. We are yet to calculate whether it will be financially viable for him to be a SAHD. He is giving consideration to becoming a CM but we'll see.

I have to say that today I am mostly thinking that google is the work of the devil. Ive been feeling incredibly thirsty for the past few days. I googles and an old MN thread appears saying that the OPs believes this to be an early sign of problems and will lead to MC. Oh dear. Why did I look it up?!!!!

thanks treats i would never think that because someone had a full time job and children that they liked or loved them less than a stay at home mum- which i know you didn't think but want to make that clear to everyone.

I don't regret being a stay home mum the first time around but if i'm lucky enough to have another baby I wouldn't do it again, i'd want to return after maternity leave. Maybe its just a case of 'been there, done that' . Also I think its hard to escape the influence of your own parents, especially when you are still young and impressionable (as i was) and my mother was constantly on about how women should stay at home with their children - she still does it to my SIL who lives nearby ( who has the sense to ignore her), SIL loves her job and her kids and must fume in private at what dear old mum has to say. Unfortunately I have a terrible guilt complex and my mother knows how to push my triggers ( though now in my 40s i've moved on from most of that and she has calmed down with me).

Being unemployed is soul destroying and depressing and the longer it continues for the worst it gets. I'm so glad i'm not there anymore. I'm actually at the point where i feel i could handle more hours. I'll see how things go, I'm considering doing something else alongside this job - though what remains a mystery.

empire pregnant women are more thirsty. I got terrible spots last time and one of the reasons you get acne when pregnant is due to lack of water (and an increase in a hormone), you need more water! Sounds like a good sign to me. But step away from google!!

empire what's a CM? you said DP was considering it

Totally off topic but...
DH is going to have a telephone interview for a job in Qatar!
We had a chat about "won't go if it's working 6 days a week and not if it's less than £Xk a year).... Seems its 5 days a week and is in the region of our "we'd go for £Xk"

Blimey, this might actually become a real offer and one we need to consider.

Could pay our mortgage here within 10 years....

But I'd lose fab job and career and have no pension....

But I could be like Gaby from desperate housewives instead

I could also do a couple of degrees in my "spare" time...

Wow flying big changes! Lots to think about. Could be an amazing opportunity but lots for you to give up as well.

CM childminder, not cervical mucus. Although I talk about cervical mucus so much these days he possibly knows enough to turn into some :)

wow flying. i know someone whose DP got a job in Dubai, she did get bored after a while (she couldn't work out there ) , said the worst thing was the endless sunshine. I think they stayed 3 years. Amazing money .

empire ah childminder. Good idea ,we need more men working in childcare.

i'm waiting for DD to get in so i can go out - we're expecting a delivery- come on the sun's out fully now...

I worry about boredom but I'm pretty friendly do would hope to make a few buddies.
I can quite easily do naff all for weeks on end
I'd worry about my career... But only when I wasn't shopping / swimming / sunbathing..

Excuse the typing: painkillers & iPhone don't mix

Qatar sounds good. My dh cousin got offered a job in Dubai. The pics are lovely. I'd like to go for a visit :)
Exciting times.

Flying, I take it in Doha, yes? (used to live there ) Great standard of living, you'll have a lovely time!!!

Flying, I'm green with envy, it sounds divine! I'd love to do an extra couple of degrees too!

I work full time (and then a bit!) and will defo reduce to 3 days if we are blessed with another. When I had DS we were in the middle of renovating a house, DP in last year of degree and me doing teacher training and I feel I missed so much. If I knew ttc would take a while I'd reduce to four days now as we can afford it but want to keep it at 5 for the moment so we have better maternity pay and because it will help with our planned house move. Although house move/ ttc may take a while hopefully both will be this year at some point. I love the idea of one day to food shop/ sort house/ take ds to school and be able to pick him up and have one of his friend's for tea.

In other news, got cb fertility monitor at work today. Saved my wee in a bottle but Af never turned up today anyway- typical! Plus, read on instructions that if AF comes after first wee you just class the next day as your first day, so I didn't need to save wee at all.

Hope AF hurries up, making me wonder what is going on with my cycle as first one after coming off pill was 31 and this one is 34 and not here though seem to be tired/ craving junk food/ spotty etc so all the signs are there.

Silent, yes, Doha. How long ago were you there?
I'm a strict veggie (no meat, fish or cheese) will I starve?
I'm allergic (anaphylaxis) to insects (Mosquitos most likely but really a bit of an unknown) are insect bites a big issue?
Lastly, given the strict rules: if my divorced sister came to stay, could she stay with us? Can friends (married couples) stay with us?

Hijack the thread time.... But it distracts from AF

ooh Flying, I was there yonks ago, but l will ask my mum when I next see her . TBH think you willbe fine food-wise, Middle Eastern stuff does tend to have quite a lot of veggie things.

IIRC, the main prob my mum had was the driving; when we lived there (1970s/80s) Qatari women weren't allowed to drive, though Westerners could, and l think she found the style of driving somewhat aggressive. But all that may well have changed, as you can tell my info is way out date!

I remember we had to filter all our water in a huge big eartherware thingy that my mum later saw on a film set in the 1920s and got very excited about I'm sure it's far more modern now.

I have a friend in Doha - her husband opened a branch of the law firm he was partner in there. Lots of golf lessons, sailing lessons, etc. She and the kids visit family in London, France and the US for a good part of the summer when weather is a bit unbearable. Sounds ideal :). Good luck!

I forgot who asked but DS is in nursery while I'm working. Today was his first day. It wasn't too bad, DH dropped him off, so he got the brunt of the crying while I got the higgs, kisses, so happy you're here's when I picked him up. He had a week and a half of nursery in March when I had jury service but other than that he's nearly three and has never been left with anyone but family for any length of time. But I'm sure it will come - he actually seems to have had a nice day despite one or two sniffles.

As for the whole working mum thing...well, it's hard to find the right balance. I'm only just feeling able to leave DS and I don't think I could or would want to do full time. It's a really personal decision. And maybe I'm over thinking it, but I think women are destined to feel guilty no matter their situation. When I wasn't working at all, I felt guilty that I wasn't "pulling my weight" at home and I felt that people thought I wasn't ambitious or successful. I did some temporary work for my old boss at the ballet last summer and spent three long days a week away from DS while he was with my parents and I was a work and every time I saw a nanny with a kid on the street I just wished I was at home with DS. But now, he's a little older, I think the separation is good for him and I've found what I think is the right position for the direction of my career, the amount of time I want to spend at work,etc. so it seems like the right fit for us. Then again, it's only my second day...

Hello all, just a quick post before bed. I've missed loads again today, lots of interesting conversations.

lastbox it was me who asked about DS - sounds like he is settling into nursery then. It must be a big change for him and you, but then often it seems kids adapt more quickly and happily than we do!

It is hard to find the right working balance. At the moment, me being mostly SAHM (I do a few hours of work a week writing articles for a professional services business) seems to be the best fit overall for our family. I sometimes get resentful of the sheer volume of domestic drudgery and nostalgic for the good parts of my once fairly successful career. But with a school age child and two pre-schoolers it is fairly full-on work looking after them. I expect I'll work FT again in future - not sure how or when! (Especially considering we're TTC).
I get fed up when in the media and on MN there are so many bunfights with women criticising each others choices. It isn't as if we pick one camp and stay in it forever - I have already been WOHM, WAHM, SAHM, etc and there are so many variations in circumstances we just have to figure it as well as possible for ourselves and our own families.

Flying Wow that would be a big move! I know a couple of people who've lived temporarily in the middle east - undoubtedly an amazing experience but one to consider carefully before accepting, I guess?

Wiggy at least you don't have to do the pee in a bottle thing again, then! Have you already tested this month? Sorry if you have already posted, I can't remember and the thread is getting so long!

lbot - glad that DS is settling into nursery and you're feeling positive about going back to work. I'm sure he'll get a lot out of having other children to play with and the time you get to spend with him will feel really precious. Hope the new position works out well.

LLL - I've found before that TTC can be a real obstacle when trying to think about what jobs I want to do. When I was ttc'ing DD I stayed in a job I really didn't enjoy for much longer than I should have done. I didn't want to find a new job and then tell them immediately that I was off on mat leave...... I ended up getting made redundant from that job during a restructure and - to add insult to injury - i got selected for redundancy over people who were on maternity leave as their right to return to work was protected . It taught me a lesson about not putting your life on hold while ttc. At the same time, what are you supposed to do? Do you remember the bashing Natasha Kaplinsky got when she announced she was pregnant shortly after signing for Five News?

Flying - ooh - Doha sounds exciting! I have nothing to offer in terms of advice as I've never been to the Middle East, but it sounds like a great opportunity for your DH. I've got friends who've just returned from Dubai who said it was HOT - but lbot's suggestion of travelling back home during the summer sounds like a good one. It might be great timing if you were to relocate there with a new baby on the way . You could spend some quality time with the baby without feeling that you should be out at work......

Wiggy - any sign of AF? Should we be keeping our fingers crossed for you? Imagine if you found you were pregnant now that you've just bought your CB monitor. Best waste of £60 ever!

Another high temp for me today! . I'm not getting carried away and thinking about possible BFPs yet (only 8DPO) but a pregnancy wouldn't even have been possible with my temp pattern last cycle, so at least I can feel that my cycles are getting back on track. Blood test at Drs this morning so should know a bit more about what's going on once I get those results. I have a little scenario playing out in my head where I get a phone call from the docs in a day or two and they tell me that the blood test results show that I'm actually pregnant! But I think I would be a day or two early for even a blood test to pick anything up.

So I'm going to sit on my hands and wait for AF to show up and possibly poas on Monday if there's nothing by then......

Well I've been thinking a bit (and researching)...
It's 50 and humid in the summer so plan would be to come back to Britain for July & August as well at 2 weeks for Christmas.

Oct to May is meant to be lovely weather.

This job sounds like a step up for DH do if / when he came back to the UK it's mean he could be an area / regional manager in his field.

My plan would be (if staying here) to potter in my job part time, until DS goes to senior school, increase my hrs to 4 days a week and eventually (maybe) go full time when he leaves school.

I guess I'd look for 1 more promotion but not much more than that.

So should we stay just because I enjoy my job when this could be the stepping stone for DH?
It's hard as I want DS to respect me & my work....

Hmmmm... Anyway, let's see what the interview brings

Excuse spelling, I seem to have fat fingers today

lastbox hope DS continues to settle well in nursery. Mine went part-time when I started uni and she enjoyed it and it was good for her. The first she went to didn't fit right so I moved her as soon as i could into the Uni nursery which was much nicer. Where I live now there are loads of them almost on my doorstep , i'd be spoilt for choice.

treats great on temp being still up.

Well i'm 10DPO, running out of cheap tests sticks so won't waste one today, planning on testing either Friday or Sunday. Probably be Sunday .

flying , i don't know....i'm not career minded at all so can't help with that. Is it a permanent job? If not could you set a time limit with DH on how long you stay for? 2-3 years for instance might not make a huge impact on your career. What happens if you don't like it? I suppose there is no way back and you have to make the most of it. I personally couldn't live there for long, the money would be tempting but i'd have to know there was light at the end of the tunnel (and it wasn't a really faint one many years away). I'd want to sort of the length of time first, then agree that it could be shortened (if that were possible) if either person really hated it , or lengthened if everyone loved it and wanted to stay longer .

It's a permanent post so would not set a time limit to return by.
I guess we need to look beyond this: would DH be able to come back (eventually) and command a really good job / salary? I suspect he would.
But my role would change from "contributor" to SAHM. I've no issue with that as such, but it does seem to be a waste of my skills.
Saying that, the thought of not having to work is REALLY appealing, big time.

When the option first came up I was more into it than DH.
We have just had drawings done for an extension and have made plans for a big shed for him
He doesn't really have any friends here (he was on RN and is originally from Scotland) and we only see his family about 3 times a year.
I have about 6 really close friends, my parents, sister and her 3 kids. I guess it's my life that would be impacted the most. But I do make friends easily and being able to return for 2-3 months a year means I wouldnt feel like I'm never going to see them again (like it'd be if we went to Oz).

We live "just below comfortable" atm, this would enable us to live better (even if just in terms of paying mortgage off within 10 years).
But it means only 1 earner - that's a bit scary.

did you read this ? I skimmed it and then there are comments (which i haven't read at all) . Personally i can't cope with intense heat and i'd have problems living under a dictatorship so it wouldn't be for me at all. But everyone is different (thankfully) and it suits some people and they can make the most of what can be a great opportunity for them and their families. Also from briefly skimming through seems some women do work there in professional jobs so it might be possible for you to do so and not give up your career. Difficult decision to make.
www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/4205396/Expat-lifestyles-inflated-by-Qatars-hot-air.html