TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

The conversations about gardening, trimming and topiary is very funny. I?m in total agreement mrsd about the itchiness. I?ve tried waxing but i kicked the poor waxer in the head and the pain and the cost just put me off for life. That veet cream stinks and make me very itchy. So it just leaves the razor and scissors which I find the best of a bad bunch. After last month?s horror of a boil down there which seemed to be caused by an in grown hair, I dread pruning now.

pout - thank you for your post, it is always reassuring that others are going through the same emotions ? not that i want people to but i?m sure you know what i mean. I think this hatefulness and bitterness we feel with ttc is bound to have a knock on effect on other areas of life. I think with many things we just pick ourselves up and carry on but long term ttc just hangs over us . it?s always there, it?s always an issue and pregnant people are always around to serve a reminder of what we don?t have. It really is an unattractive quality. I have been feeling very bitter towards my pregnant friend the last week but i guess it is to be expected as we have been trying 2 years longer than them. I am also getting annoyed that all my holiday this year is being saved for hospital appointments and ivf. I need to take a leaf out of Wine?s book and get meditating to bring back some peacefulness and thankfulness in to life.
I hope my consultant is like yours Pout. I don?t want to go over old ground. I wouldn?t mind getting more blood tests done and more thorough ones and getting a lap. I can take all my copies in with me.

I was reading that Ivf Emotional companion book last night. There are some incredible stories out there of how people who seemingly had no chance of conceiving still ended up conceiving through ivf or naturally. One woman took 8 years. She never got periods and even all 3 ivfs failed as her ovaries weren?t producing eggs. After pursuing the adoption route, she found she was pregnant naturally and then went on to have 2 more children naturally. I guess we all have got to keep hoping

Ladies, I can highly recommend lasering for your topiary if you can afford it (the cost upfront is big but compared to several years of waxing it works out quite well). I have had chin (lovely, thanks PCOS), belly line, thighs and bikini done and it is WONDERFUL. If you have darkish hair and palish skin, it should work really well. It certainly has on me. It has worked least well on my chin but they warned me that would probably be the case because that is hormonal growth. I need to get a top up zapping of that once or twice a year. But the other areas have stayed pretty much hairfree for years since the treatment. I warn you, it is addictive though. I only went to get my chin done but kept going back for more! I want my lower legs and forearms done next.

Yes!! It's the weekend. This week has been a long one. I feel bitter about it all too joycep. Although as I said earlier I'm not too bad at the moment but it's always a bubbling undercurrent. I felt very angry towards one pregnant friend in particular, now she's had her baby it's better but I found it so hard for all the time she was pregnant. I still get peeved when I think that she has a baby now and she started trying 6 months after us. It's not her fault so I don't know why I feel angry. My best advice is to avoid as much as possible and keep your head down. Easier said than done.

Horror of horrors, I discovered my first nipple hair this morning. No idea what to do about it, I don't want to end up with an ingrown and a boil.

I'm so sorry you think af is on the way pout. It's so depressing month after month that it's totally understandable that when something is a bit different we get our hopes up.

Mess, I hope your wound is healing.

Have you had the whole bikini area done euro? Did it hurt? I had waxing once and vowed never again, I found it excruciating. I must be a wimp.

gosh I've missed a lot!

joyce the consultant I saw recently wasn't especially "toothcomby" IMO - maybe because there were a couple of fairly "obvious" steps I haven't done yet, namely tube check and Clomid, so she just went straight to those. With hindsight I wish I'd mentioned more things like my funny post-AF and pre-AF spotting but doubt it would have changed the outcome.

So I would say, it's probably right that your GP said to ask the consultant, but make sure you do ask and don't forget... unlike me!

I don't think my consultant was in the Coven exactly as she didn't say anything insensitive... but I am pretty sure she was pregnant...

euro I've got a friend with pale skin and dark hair and she's had lots of lasering and says it has changed her life. But I think I'm quite comfortable being hairy ish (helps that my hair is fair) and I find it annoying we're all supposed to be hairless. I just have a bit of a snip and tweeze at the ladygarden and use a razor on underarms and legs rarely.

Frannie at "extreme waxing". Sounds like you wax yourself hanging upside down from a plane or something!

I do get the odd Old Crone hair on my chin - they get tweezed within seconds of breaking cover.

whatmess ouch ouch to your abcess. Glad it seems on the mend. I wouldn't be surprised if the infection has stopped or delayed ovulation as your body may think it's got enough to cope with. Hope that returns to normal soon.

Lemon glad you have good size follice and hope the IUI goes well. onto more important matters - you keep your gin in the fridge..?

pout ah, another sludgegate. Tis pretty normal for me these days but if it's not normal for you it could be A Sign ... not wishing to encourage mentalling of course...

I am in 2ww and have no symptoms whatsoever, as usual

pout yes AF is back with avengeance, feels like my insides are being ripped out , super ovulation are drugs that you take at the beginning of your that help you produce more eggs at one time, they then scan to check how many and if they look good ie size wise and then you can have a injection that helps release them, he also said no more steroids till BFP thank goodness no more Jeykell and Hyde for me :-) I really was at my wits end with them. It is most certainly worth asking, he offered it as a 'hurry up' due to my age, 39 next week EEEKKKKKKK, next stop the big 40

joycep I can relate to the feeling tearful when talking about ttc, I had a cry yesterday with Dr Shehata, he was very kind and didn't look disgusted like his registrar did. Sorry your GP has faffed about and not referred you earlier :( makes you wonder what the hell she has been waiting for.

big waves to everyone :)

Happy Friday everyone! Monster catching up post warning!

joy and pout I totally understand what you mean about the anger and bitterness. When we first discovered that we?d need IVF & there is no funding for us, I was livid most of the time ? any little thing set me off! I?m sure it?s normal to feel like this and to find pregnancy announcements hard ? well, we all seem to, so it must be normal?! Hope you?re both feeling a bit better. Joy If I were you, I would be particularly at your iui consultant. Wish I could "gift" you my NHS gynae consultation, which is currently timed for the middle of our IVF round, so pretty pointless.

Whatmess abcess sounds hideous! Am pleased you are now recovering. I had one in my bikini line a few years ago and it was one of the most painful things I have experienced. I have a weird lump/ingrown hair thing that caused it and hence there is no waxing or lasering for me there. Lucky Mr Gin... I do attempt to do a bit of pruning before getting my bits out ? they wouldn?t be able to find my bits if I didn?t!

Good luck with the iui lemon. Great that you have a follie that is doing well.

Welcome Princess. I will totally be purchasing some Aveda at my naughty Aveda hair appointment next weekend. I?ll have spent so much on the cut/highlights, that a few extra quid for the shampoo won?t count

I understand the mad parent thing pout and joy. My dad decided to enter a manic phase of his illness about a month ago. I?m trying to avoid him and not worry too much, as have enough stress with the IVF at the mo. I just keep telling him to take his meds, but he seems to think he?s fine and normal... pout has the spotting turned into anything else yet?!

Ladyg that?s pretty shite of the clinic ?mis-filing? your notes! Good luck with your extra fertile post-ivf month. Can ask, did you have 1 or 2 embies transferred? We need to decide what to do (if we're lucky enough to get 2 good ones) and I'm really not sure...

kitty good luck with the stealth swi! My dh is rubbish at doing it if anyone else is the house. Am jealous of your cocktails and hope wine is well.

mrsd you survived the baby, yay! Lol at nipple hair ? I could probably plat mine

nelly I too have had the odd extra short period. Kinda heavy though, like it all came out in one go! Sorry if tmi!

lisa sorry about painful AF.

euro your holiday sounds really lovely and a great way to forget about ttc. I?m tempted to laser off my chin hair! I don?t have PCOS as far as I know, just a hairy face! Did you have to grow the hair before/between treatment? This puts me off, as would mean leaving the house with a goaty, eek!

Hi to those I?ve missed.

Well we had our treatment consultation this afternoon and gonal F is now in our fridge, alongside the dodgy beer (although I like lemons classy keeping it with the gin)! The nurse was really good and answered all my questions. Am worried about the injections though ? felt kinda sick when I saw the needle. Does anyone have any tips on doing the injections? My period is due mid-next week and then it?s all systems go, eek! REALLY fancy a big glass of wine, but they advised me not to drink during treatment. Argh, am sure I could do the jabs if a bit tipsy totally hammered

Lasering sounds great. I've noticed I've started becoming slightly bearded. Thank god I have blonde hair though.

Mrsd - I know it's not their fault and being angry doesn't help. Oh dear I've got to work on it.

Mini - thanks. Will certainly mention everything at my appointment.

Lisa- I am sorry you were teary with Dr S yesterday. He must get a lot of tears though. Can I ask why you don't have to take steroids before bfp ? I thought they helped implantation?

Gin- I found the injections very scary to begin with. In fact the first month I chickened out after spending 2 hours in floods of tears trying to get the thing to pierce my skin. It turned out it was all psychological. When DH wasn't there I just had to do it. Grab a big chunk of fat from your stomach (that was easy for me!) and slowly, calmly just push the needle in and watch whilst you do it as I was attempting not to look which made it worse. Most times you won't feel a thing. At most it will be a small prick. Good luck you will be fine!

AF is here for me, that explains my black mood

Superov is just the term for using clomid or letrozole in women who are ovulating by themselves. It's not exclusive to Shehata - I've seen it used elsewhere on the interwebby. Some consultants believe in it; others don't think it helps. I don't think it is used that much here which is why the term isn't that common. Most NHS consultants seem to be of the view that if you are ovulating then you move to IUI or IVF and don't bother with the drugs. Most private clinics seem to focus on IVF. So it doesn't get used much. I gave it a go for 3 months and didn't enjoy the effect the drugs had on my hormones and emotions but it was worth a try, although it didn't get me pg.

mrsd I've had it done like an old style bikini wax, so I still have a (smaller than before) triangle at the front and hair underneath, but nothing that you can see with underwear on. I didn't go "all off" or anything. It was partly a practical thing for me as I used to swim several times a week and shaving gave me a horrible rash and I never had time to let it grow for a wax. But I have to say it is great to never have to give it a second thought on holiday or when I fancy a swim.

joycep The steroids are for my high nk cells, but I was either crying all the time or 'wired' or shattered because I hadn't slept a wink. I was taking them from ovulation to AF/BFP. They have made a complete mess of my cycles too. I now feel quite 'normal' and haven't cried today :), i'm hoping the super ovulation will work but only time will tell x

Tis the weekend (and I am finishing stuff off) so I thought I would just add, esp for mini of course the gin is in the fridge, it would be in the freezer if we had more than a tiny compartment rammed full of forbidden peas, because the essence of G&T is its coldness. There is also tonic and often limes to be found in that same fridge. As is wine and beer. Really good TTC fridge. The milk is organic thought

Waves and good weekends to all of you...

lisa I've had the opposite - I hated the way the Letrozole made me feel but am largely fine on the steroids. I just have a bit of sleeplessness.

euro i start tomorrow so i'll have to see how I go, i'm on the tamoxifen but the Pred was a nightmare, its really hard to hide you've been crying when your eyes look like a couple of pufferfish, luckily I work with mainly elderly people who don't have the best eyesight :)

joy thanks for the injection tips! That's really helpful. I was planning to not watch so helpful to know it's better to do so.

Urgh am sat opposite a cute baby and dad on the train. He keeps talking to the baby. Am contemplating moving seats... PMT must be here!

Happy weekend and just a quickie to say hi.

I hate hair in the wrong places. I have noticed that my top lip is more noticeable than it used to be but am ignoring it and if I lick my lips I can feel the odd one in the corners Unhelpfully I am pretty pale and the hairs are dark...great!

As for nipple hair I get those too. mrsd I just pluck them with tweezers usually once a month before SWI time along with the monthly shaving of legs! I have never experienced any ingrowing hair problems by doing that and I have been doing it for years! I also get what DH calls my five o'clock shadow on my legs even when I've shaved in the morning! I am way too chicken though to consider going and letting professionals loose on my hairiness. Tried home waxing once......never again. If DH hadn't have pinned me down and taken over the wax strips would still be there. AND it didn't even bloody work. Mind you am not surprised since Veet never works on me either. God am painting a picture of me being King Kong like...

Gin Good luck with the injecting. I'm sure that once you have done it a couple of times you will be fine. It's the fear of the unknown thing probably.

lisa sorry about grim AF and mad steroid mood swings. Sounds very unpleasant.

Yay to lemons and her alcoholic well stocked fridge You are indeed v.v. posh with your refridgerated gin!!!!

Boo at no 2ww symptoms for minnie

I feel like shite today and woke up with the mother of migraines. Note to self, in future do not bid on ebay having had migraine meds. I have bid stupid amounts of money on fabric and DH will go ballistic if I win which I am likely to seeing as I have bid the equivalent of the price of a small car on some of it and [idiot smiley]

As for the spotting, this has tailed off but I still fully expect AF later today or tomorrow. But it's okay because I will soon be in possession of tiny, tiny, miniscule scraps of overpriced Kath Kidson fabric ...joy!

Just a quick phone post to chuckle at king kong pout spending her children's inheritance on fabric

We always have more booze than food in our fridge too. I like to think that's because we never drink it, bits sadly it's a regularly replenished supply.

oh I agree g&t has to be cold lemons. luckily our fridge makes ice cubes Is it wrong to be totally in love with a fridge?

pout what's your fabric for? I am surrounded by fabric samples at the mo, trying to get some curtains done to replace the bedsheet current temporary arrangement we are using.

mmm, interesting that your spotting has tailed off do you have other AF signs?

I am on 7 dpo and had a tiny bit of bright red blood this morning - nothing else since. Can't read too much into it though since I had the same last month and still got AF (a really heavy and clotty one too).

Gin boo to cute babies on trains. They should have "baby and pregnancy free" compartments I reckon . Good luck with the injections - I think I'd be a real wuss about it but I'm sure after the first couple it's much easier.

euro I think superovulation may be my next step after the Hycosy tube check thing, as the consultant mentioned she would put me on Clomid after the hycosy if it was clear. What were the nasty side effects you had?

lisa sorry your AF is a bad one but good that you can get off the steroids. Happy birthday for next week!

in case I don't make it on tomorrow - I'm off on hols next week sans interweb so hope you all have a great week and enjoy the sunshine!

minnie I so hope that the spot of blood you had is implantation. You read so many threads on here where they say that they got this between 7 and 10dpo. FX for you. It is awful though when you seemingly get encouraging signs that for most women signal a BFP at the end but for us apparently not! Are you temping? Wondered if you have got an implantation temp dip.

In honesty I am still a bit confused about what the heck is going on at my end. Common sense is telling me that it will inevitably end in my AF coming and it is just a strange cycle (my body seems to like throwing in endless curved balls). In reality my mind is wandering and I am doing the dangerous thing of daydreaming about what if... The spotting is very much less, has been like that since yesterday afternoon but I do have the odd very, very mild period cramp and that hot feeling in my womb that usually heralds AF. I have had a headache for the last 4 days too that usually signals the Progesterone drop so in that sense am periody I suppose. I also feel dizzy today but that could so easily be because I had a migraine. My boobs keep flitting from very sore to not so sore. So all in all utterly confused! I just want to get on now with proper AF so that I stop mentally planning the Christening like some loony tune

Are you ovulating usually? Every time I have spoken about Clomid I have been told it is a big no, no because of the risk of overstimulation. Maybe it depends on which hospital and which consultant you see.

Am very envious about your holiday. I hope that you are going somewhere suitably lovely and relaxing. Have a great time!

Well I need to rescue my pancakes cupcakes from the oven and decide whether it is worth bothering to fill them with cream or whether they are too much of a disaster! Damn my oven and it's faulty thermostat

Hi ladies. Am sorry, have been reading but not posting as we are away at the moment. The chat has been v funny, I snorted at gin plaiting her nipple hair! I just had to quickly drop in to say that today I spanked £50 on a selection of Aveda products. Now who started the Aveda obsession-was it you ladygee? I'll just put the invoice in the post shall I

pout I am doing a little bit of quiet finger crossing for you.

Will catch up properly tomorrow! Oh we've managed two lots of stealth SWI so far, I'm quite pleased but a bit mortified a how creaky the bed was

mini I was in Letrozole which works in a slightly different way within the body to Clomid (but with the same end goal of making the ovaries work harder) so the side effects might be different.

In short, I just didn't feel like myself on them. More specifically, I got some headaches (v unusual for me), hot flushes (in the days after I stopped them leading up to ov) and a massive hormone crash a couple of days before ERTD arrived that just put me in a foul mood. None of these things are normal for me, and I just generally felt "out of sorts". They also messed around with my ovulation, which had been days 14-16 on all my unmedicated cycles. On the first cycle on the lowest dose, I didn't ov until day 20 and was stressing that the drugs had completely messed up my cycles. The next cycles I went onto a higher dose and I oved on day 12/13. The first cycle I tried the higher dose, I was in a lot of pain around ov time and had all the symptoms of mild hyperstimulation. It wasn't very pleasant (bloating, abdominal pain, etc). By the third cycle, my body seemed to have got more used to it, but I still didn't enjoy being on it. It definitely dragged my moods down somehow. It also seemed to make my boobs deflate! Having said all that, it is still definitely a worth a go for a few cycles and I am glad I tried it before moving on to the more invasive IVF.

Enjoy your hols! I think mine did me the power of good.

(I am still not caught up with the thread!)

Just a quick hello while waiting for a train! Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine! Not much to say my end apart from working ridiculous hours which is interfering with me catching up on this thread! Am feeling a lot more upbeat about things at the mo. Think it's down to being pre ov, sunny and a great couple of sessions with my acupucturist/ counsellor! Hope everyone else is keeping well. Fingers crossed pout and mini for those symptoms. Train coming now but hope to catch up properly soon. Xx

Pout - cant you poas to put yourself out of your misery? I would have got through about ten if I was you! It all sounds highly suspicious to me.

Euro - now you are back from holiday are you going to start ivf soon? I know you were quite stressed before your holiday, able are you feeling now?

Frannie - glad you are feeling upbeat. I am starting acupuncture again on Tuesday. Hopefully will make a difference in mood.

Hi to everyone else.

Euro Glad to hear that your holiday was so good and that you are feeling less stressed.

frannie I reckon a few sessions with a counsellor would benefit us all on here. It's good that you are feeling upbeat.

joycep Are you still seeing your Woo man?
I don't want to POAS because in my heart I know that this is nothing. I also feel like a right fraud prat buying pregnancy tests! In the unlikely event that AF hasn't shown herself by Wednesday which will be CD33, I might think about POAS then. In the meantime I will continue to frantically knicker watch and shamelessly coax the bitch out of hiding (I have already restocked my sanitary wear box & am defiantly wearing light coloured under crackers!)

Afternoon lovely ladies!

Just got the phone call that I am triggering tonight, had a scan at hideous o'clock this morning which showed the follicle at 17mm, which apparently is big enough . Had an injection lesson as well, and according to the nurse I am a pro, it was not scary or difficult, just weird. Things moving FAST...

Your fabric buying made me smile pout. I like it. What are you going to do with it? I have a secret wish to learn how to quilt, if I get diffed, that may be a good use of my time/money/obsessive nature...

Enjoy your hols mini. Horror at the list of side effects euro although good to have beaten your immune system into submission, even if it involves soffering with colds. Jealous of acu-counsellor appointments frannie, but I don't think I could cope with more appointments with scanning, iui and final checks on the collar bone this week. I sometimes have to work as well... Oh and at the aveda splurge kitty. When you go cocktail drinking with wine again tell her I am thinking of her! I like the confession about your drinking habits nelly, we have some booze that stays in there indefinitely (beer for instance) but wine has a good turn around time. We have loads of (healthy) food and some frozen peas in there too. Jealous of your fridge mini. Maybe in our next grown-up house... When are you starting injections gin? How are you feeling mrsd has the weekend helped? As to hair, I have been finding nipple hairs on a regular basis for years. I tweezer them out...

On that happy note, I should do what I came online for! Waves to all!!

I am another nipple hair tweezer! I've had them since my teens. I always blamed the PCOS.

I hope I haven't scared anyone with my list of symptoms! I do tend to react very strongly to anything hormonal. Even the Pill made me feel horrible.

Guest arrived so better go!