TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Hello. I got the blood results. Number is quite high apparently, 2726, so I have to get more done on sat. A tiny part of me thinks that maybe just maybe the levels may rise and it'll work out but all midwives etc were negative so I don't suppose its likely.

Am numb right now. Two of my close friends were over last night, one of them announced she is 11 weeks pregnant. That was a bit of a blow, she deserves it tho, she found out the night before her appt for IVF. She was due to start iui first then ivf in Oct.

Oh no izzy, more uncertainty . Of course fingers massively crossed that it turns out all is ok, but at the same time I guess you just want to know, one way or another. More hugs for you. And can I ask did your friend know what was happening when she told you about her pregnancy? She of course falls into the camp of "hard won baybee" and therefore we can ostensibly be happy for her, but I hope her great revelation was badly timed by accident, not insensitivity.

Wine it might be, I've no idea! I really am clueless. Grr to not being Secret Millionaires.

pout I've been told my "appointment" won't be until May, but that will be my very first non-GP appointment, so like you I guess I'll then be waiting even longer for any diagnostic tests. Spotting currently at light/non-existent stage but I (TMI) sort of feel it, if that makes sense? So sure it's on it's way; I truly am not hopeful, and no point POAS today anyway. Maybe tomorrow morning - which is of course a sure fire way to ensure ERTD is here by then. Like you, this wouldn't be the end of the world actually as if I was pg this cycle, the due date would be 4 weeks before our wedding. Then, assuming it was late, I'd have a tiny tiny baby, and frankly that would ruin the party a little . It's also probably helpful that OH is going to be away for most of Shag Week next cycle too, as that pretty much rules out the Give Birth in a Wedding Dress scenario....Have to say though, using the MN due date calculator was no fun. Clearly I never normally bother, I only did due to wedding issues. But you get a message that says "Your baby is due on x" which is not exactly comforting for Us Barrens.

Sorry - more to say! lemon sorry about AF but at least this cycle will feel a bit more pro-active with the IUI. Fingers crossed for you.

Fatima that's rubbish they won't test you now. I hope you manage to successfully kick Doctor butt.

Hooray for fast appointment pout (did I say that already? I blame the glass of wine I had last night!)

Oops not fatima I meant freedom. Clearly Fatima should be lying down taking it easy, not kicking anyone's butt....

I don't think there is hope. They said if levels rise then it may mean ectopic. She didn't know, bless her, I did end up telling them as she asked how we were gettin on. We had a fertility clinic appt at same time one day. It's taken her 3 years and this is her first ever pregnancy so I am very happy for her. Can't help being jealous tho, it would have been lovely to have babies 4 weeks apart.

Gosh izzy sorry, I really am clueless. Can they not rule in/out an ectopic via a scan? Either way, it sounds horrible and stressful and upsetting, and my heart goes out to you. Apologies too for prying about your friend. I was playing the protective friend role I think! It is great news about your friend, and also hopeful for all of us on this thread, but being jealous is only completely natural in your circumstances.

I think its cos they didn't really know what was on the scan. I think cos of the stuff that's in my womb and ectopic is unlikely tho. I prob won't know much more til Mon, the lovelt Scottish weather today is matching my mood!

It's not exactly conducive to optimism, is it?

I hope you get clarity soon - Monday must seem like a long way away :(

Hello ladies, hope you are all looking forward to the weekend. Couldn't come a moment too soon! As I said last night, had written a giant post, lost it, now can't remember it! Sorry if this one is patchy!

Sorry izzy that after what happened the situation still isn't fully clear. Can only imagine what you're going through. Hope that you are being well looked after.

Also, sorry for the arrival/ near arrivals of AFs. I don't even remember spotting before ttc- but now it's my enemy! I understand your nerves about IUI lemon. I think I am too, mainly through the fear of if it doesn't work and a 2WW with more pressure. Seems that we will be going through it together though and I keep telling myself that hopefully they'll learn more about what is going on in there.

Seems like there are plenty of appointments are coming up soon. Who was it that said this thread averages 1 BFP per month? Made me feel a bit better- obviously we'd like more- but quite a good rate for us lttcers! A big congratulations to fatima too- hope all is going well.

Nelly- From the HSG point of view I found it painful at the time but fine afterwards- although it wouldn't be a holiday highlight it shouldn't affect more than that day. You just have to be careful about sex though. I hear you on the 'Your baby would be due..' thing- it is the worst thing about FF. As soon as you ov you get the mentalling page with your potential due date and the symptom points thing- I really need no help at obsessing and I find that I sometimes even fake symptoms to see how many points I get!

If only I'd learn to relax and not get in a twist about it! Grr for you joycep! I have got a few good friends that I have confided in, most of whom have 1/2/3 babies and what really is beginning to grate is when they say 'Well I can't really understand your situation' or 'I really don't know what you're going through'. It always seems a little bit smug and I also think that I don't know what it's like to lose my job/ break my leg/ be seriously ill etc etc but I would always empathise, try to understand and spend hours talking to you about it!

I'm sorry not to name check more- I must use a pencil and paper next time as I always remember what I wanted to say after I've posted!

Hi ladies! Hope you are all ok.

izzy I hope today brings some answers for you. I can't imagine what you are going through. Make sure you look after yourself and no more seeing babies for the moment!

frannie and lemon when do you both start iui? Is it next cycle?!

pout I'm so pleased to hear that things are finally happening for you and you have the appointment you need. Will they zap any endo that they find at the time?

Nelly boo to the spotting and such a long wait for the appointment. Would seeing the gynae when on hols bring the tests forward by a great deal? If so, may well be worth considering. Would the NHS accept those test results or would they insist on doing the all themselves too??

Oh wine I do feel for you. Must be utterly shite and frustrating. Have you had quotes from a few different private gynaes? Think get might vary in price.

mrsd hope you are coping with the baby visitation!

joy bollocks to the whole don't stress relax thing. Makes me super cross!

'Ello to everyone else! On phone so catching up not v easy!

Well we had our first appointment at the clinic yesterday. Dildo camming was surprisingly ok and much better than a smear. I was so nervous my legs were shaking in the stirrup things! Anyway everything is good with me. Apparently I have 2 small fibroids lumpy womb but they shouldn't cause any problems. So weird seeing my ovaries! I ov'd this month and have a good ovarian reserve. Soooo we're planning on starting mild ivf next cycle, eek! If we can get the drugs etc in time... We have our treatment consultation next Friday.

Quick question - those of you who've done ivf/iui, did your dhs have any probs producing er samples on demand? I think DH should have some sperm frozen but he thinks it'll be ok.. Don't know what we'd do if he actually can't do it on the day!

And who else is starting iui/ivf next month?? We can hold hands and be scared of needles together :)

Glad your appointment went well gin. It must be so weird seeing it all on screen. In all the tests I've had they've never shown me, I'm going to ask on my next one! Sounds like you had a positive experience though. Looked up mild Ivf a while ago so sort of know the basics but what drugs do they actually give you? We have apt in a couple of weeks but not sure if that will mean we'll start the next cycle (about 10 days after). Really hope so. We've been offered 6 cycles but are going to do the first one or two without clomid. Think some hand holding would be great. My dh also says he's fine to do the business there. He thinks having an hour off work to do so is a great idea- but let's see when we get there!

Still thinking of you izzy!

Good you had a satisfying first appointment gin. I love seeing stuff on screen, it is the only thing that makes the whole prodding and testing bearable. Fingers crossed mild IVF is the answer for you!!

And I am starting this cycle, first few without extra drugs, except a trigger shot. First dildocam appointment later this week!!

izzy - thinking of you. I hope you are coping ok.

There seems to be a lot of things happening for a lot of you soon - iui, ivf, laps etc - I'm feeling left behind!

pout - you don't sound like a basketcase at all. There is such a need to find answers in all this and to be fobbed off with unexplained is frustrating. I have high hopes that you will get some answers on the 1st May. It will come round quickly.

wine - i hope you are ok and agree that MN has saved me from becoming depressed too. Although i have my moments still.

frannie - i hate it when friends just don't seem to try to empathise what this is like. I don't know what I expect from them but perhaps a little more understanding.

gin - that's great that your ovarian reserve is good. I am very . That's part of my massive worry as mine is not good. I think mine are actually 10 years older than me. Anyway fab that you are rolling out the mild ivf. How exciting.

lemon - exciting that you are are cracking on with the iui.

I feel like i am studying for a medical degree at the moment. I am also reading 'Is your body baby friendly' which is actually a really good bedtime read. I am cross with DH at the moment because I mentioned to him the other day about going for these Immune tests and he said 'oh god, who put that idea in to your head'. Perhaps I am being overly sensitive but I hate being made to feel like i'm some hypochrondiac or incessant googler. I tried to explain that with no diagnosis , we are on our own and it is up to us me to do the research and to decide what we do next. I shall therefore refrain from telling him that the reason i have chucked out all my Aussie shampoo is that i randomly came across an article saying it was highly toxic and that the yellow5 dye in it can give fertility problems. It is joining the cupboard of peas and mangoes!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

Thank you for thinking of me. I don't feel upset at the minute as I have managed to convince myself that everything is going to be ok.

Had bloods taken yesterday due to high hcg result on thurs. The dr said that they are looking for levels to fall but as I've had no bleeding since late wed then the levels may stay static or even rise. If this happens they will rescan me as there may be 'something' there. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up but the fact he said that gave me hope, as well as the lack of bleeding or pain.

He did say I may need more bloods done as it wasn't 48 hours between test so the results may be inconclusive!

So....I'm in limbo til we know more.

Gosh izzy what a rollercoaster for you. I'll keep fingers crossed for you. I can't imagine what must be going through your head right now. I guess if you hadn't gone for the scan/bloods, you would probably have written off the bleeding as just one of those things until or unless proven otherwise.

joycep don't worry, nothing happening here so you and I can be left behind together! I am with you on the weird things OH's say. Yesterday morning I woke up to proper ERTD. Unfortunately I often have to break the news to Mr Nelly in a similar way. He wakes up sleepy, rolls over with his "let's have a shag" look, and I have to tell him it ain't happening. Anyway yesterday I got up, confirmed the failure of another cycle. As I was getting dressed I said something about feeling a bit useless and rather a failure. He was on his blackberry, sending a work email, and totally ignored me, other than a small grunt. About 5 minutes later I finally rather sarcastically said "that must be very important" at which point we had a bizarre conversation with him saying "well I didn't know you wanted to talk about it" .

lemon and others wow at the treatments coming around so fast. I have to say I feel rather shafted up here in the frozen north. I try not to think this way, but I paid enough tax last year to pay for close to 4 rounds of IVF at private rates, and yet barely take anything "back". All I want is a couple of sodding scans. .

Had a visit from my SiL today which was ok, my nephew is very cute, and she didn't talk pregnancy too much. But learned of another 2 pregnancies today, sigh.

Anyway it's Sunday night and I am enjoying a lovely glass of wine seem as I'm officially not upduffed. Will stop again when this bottle is finished - which might well be tonight .

Hope you have all had lovely weekends, and izzy thinking of you.

Evening all. On a Sunday I like a nice glass of red wine. I miss my Sunday wine. Im sat here drinking elderflower cordial in a big wine glass But we have had a yummy roast chicken stuffed with Boursin, sooo good. I've also made salted caramel brownies, the ultimate non ttc treat. It's been a lovely lazy two days. I have one week left at work before a nice chunk of leave. I can't bloody wait.

After six months in total limbo I've had to do a bit of soul searching and find a peaceful place to rest in whilst things sort themselves out in the hands of the NHS slowly does it. I have tried to arrange lots of veery nice things over the next few weeks and months and will try to focus on those instead. Something happened at work that made me very happy on Friday. It was a surprise and I was so chuffed I was sat beaming to myself. I had honestly forgotten what that felt like! It felt nice! So the aim is to feel like that a lot lot more. Well, at least thats how I feel today.

Sorry about ERTD Nelly. You deserve wine. I bought tampax today even though I'm ovulating. One day our period will be suspiciously late and never arrive for a whole nine months. It will be nice to have a break, I hate mine. I do try to do the whole, embracing that your body is working thing - but they are crap! They make me feel ill and turn me into a blubbering idiot.

joycep about Aussie products. I've used them for years! By chance I currently have Bumble and Bumble which was a gift. But what will I do when it runs out?! And I eat shedloads of mango, fresh and dried. So that's where I've been going wrong! I do eat peas now.

izzy every digit crossed that the ultrasound person made a mistake. Hang in there mini one.

Big loves to all ladies at the start of journeys that involve a helping hand. I am both jealous and in awe. Can't wait to see thread 6 with more bfps. Is it me, or is each thread getting more fertile?! euro haven't seen you on here for a bit. I think there was a holiday, I hope you've done some resting up.

Sunday night wave to everyone else x

Ah forgot about the Aussie stuff. Blimey, I just googled and found a website that made it sound like I was putting neat acid on my head or something . That said, I am on a never-ending journey to try to go organic where possible, so perhaps I will use this as the reason to move onto organic shampoo. As far as I can tell the Aveda stuff looks ok, and I quite like it, so perhaps that's a step forward.

That said, I don't believe Aussie shampoo is the reason I'm not pregnant!

wine the day my period is suspiciously late is not a concept I feel I can grasp any more!

Oo an excuse to buy Aveda nelly I hear you. But one day... I'm ashamed to say I watched twilight vampire dross no 4 this weekend and even felt a smidgen of at her evil vampire bump. Ha!

Hi there, can I join you lovely ladies?

I've been ttc for 13 months. First visit to GP in two and a bit weeks, but was diagnosed with endo back in 2004 with a lap. And I'm 32. feel good having made the docs appointment, I want to check everything is ok...

In the meantime I'm trying (and failing) to cut down on caffeine and stress. I've managed to get weight down from bmi of 25 to 21, and put DH on diet and man vitamins!

Hello ladies

Hope everyone survived Mother?s Day ok. I had a manic weekend which helped to not think about it too much. The Coven were out in force yesterday though, think I need to stop going to family friendly places at weekends!

nellie welcome! Another nellie! I?m glad you?ve joined us, but hope your stay is short :) do you have many symptoms from your endo?

izzy big hug to you. The not knowing must be awful ? I so hope they have made a mistake. Keep us posted if you feel able.

nelly I totally get why you feel a bit aggreived about the lack of help you have got so far, it?s really frustrating. I think it was you who was asking about my referral moving quickly? The first two stages (nosy questionnaire and then appointment for bloods and scan) do seem to have gone quickly, well they should when I hit CD 1 again, but apparently there is a 3 month wait to see a consultant after that, so it will probably be a while yet. Interesting about the organic shampoo. I?ve used Pureology in the past and am using Naked at the moment, I never really know what to believe in terms of claims that manufacturers make of ?naturalness? etc. Aveda seem quite trustworthy though don?t they. And sorry about the additional pregnancies. Sigh.

wine your food sounds utterly gorgeous. So glad you are feeling a bit better and have had a nice weekend, as well as arranging lots of treats. I didn?t know mango was bad! I don?t eat loads of it but I did eat one last week, ah well. I love the idea of the thread becoming more fertile, let?s hope so.

joyce I hear you about wishing your DH would take some responsibilty, I feel the same. Mine has mentioned a few times that we need to keep on living our lives, not get too obsessed etc, and I agree whatever, but it can be very frustrating to feel you?re the only one trying to make changes, do research and generally take contorl. I?m sorry you are worried about your ovarian reserve. Was it the AMH test that concerned you? Just remember you have conceived in the past and you will do again. As for ?getting in a twist? ? words fail me, I think I would?ve thrown something. I find comments like that incredibly patronising ? as though we are being silly for getting upset, when in fact we are in the middle of really big, life-changing stuff. Grrr.

lemons and frannie really excited for you both about starting the IUI, and looking forward to hearing all about it.

gin same to you about mild IVF. Eeek. Hoping for lots of BFP?s on this thread soon!

pout glad to hear your appointments have started coming through. Not long to go now.

Waves to minipie, fatima, ladygee and everyone else. Sorry if I?ve missed people, I?ve fallen behind over the last few days. Haven?t heard from stasi for a while ? hello if you are just reading at the moment?

It?s CD 7 here. I like this time ? ERTD is gone but I don?t have to start worrying about SWI yet. It?s the only time that for a few days I feel TTC worries abating slightly and I usually have more energy than at other points in my cycle.

Have a good Monday morning everyone ? if that?s possible! X

Morning all! no time to post but am reading... izzy my fingers are still tightly crossed for you.

Morning ladies!

Firstly want to say that I am thinking of you izzy and so hope that you get some good news.

lemons Sorry that AF arrived for you. IUI next eh? Exciting times. Wishing you and frannie all the best with that. It is so nice that you can both hand hold. How is your poorly collar lemons?

gin I'm glad that your first appointment went okay and that the dildocam wasn't painful. I did giggle at the thought of your shaking legs!
You asked about whether they would zap anything during my lap thingy, apparently they will and if need be do ovarian drilling. Have heard of that but have absolutely no idea what it is!

joycep I felt like I was being left behind too and left to the limbo land of unexplained. I had visions of being on this thread long after you had all left! I am so glad that I badgered my GP surgery. When is your GP appointment?
I really worry too about ovarian reserve and poor egg quality. So much so that I really am afraid of getting my FSH/LSH blood results back this time.
I am a bit shocked at the shampoo thing. Luckily I am a cheapskate when it comes to toiletries and use cheap shampoo that is sold by the litre so no danger of Aussie products ever gracing my bathroom cabinet!!! As for mangoes I have always hated those. I hate the felty, fibrous texture of them. Makes me think of chewing highly perfumed shagpile.

nelly I feel for you and the unfairness of the current NHS system. I know that each PCT has budgets but it isn't right that whether you have treatment or not depends on where you happen to live. I must admit that I was totally shocked that living in a London borough means that I am entitled to more treatment than where I used to live. I would have though that this area would have been more strapped for cash. Can only assume that there is a higher rate of teenage mums here and less BESH's Disclaimer alert - my sister was a teenage mum so judgey pants only slightly hoiked up!

wine I love the sound of your dinner. We had a naughty Sunday dinner too - Coq au Vin and [bad food combination smiley] Yorkshire puddings [embarrassed]
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a bit more upbeat and am intrigued by your work surprise! Did someone leave a packet of Rich Tea in your drawer ?
On the buying tampons front, I can't ever imagine my period not showing up. Like you nelly it is an abstract concept to me now. Though I agree that I dread my period because not only does it signal the failure of another cycle but it makes me feel like shite on a stick.

kitty Sorry that you had another run in with the covern! I didn't go out on Mothers Day at all. I got guilt tripped by my mother on the telephone instead about how all the restaurants where she lives were full of people taking there mothers out for lunch and how I don't phone her enough. Apparently 3 hour long calls a week isn't enough!

Hoorah for CD7 at your end. I like that time too. Nothing to report and nothing to do SWI wise - bliss!

Hello nellie Sorry that you are here but welcome!

Waves to minnie and all the other lovely ladies I have missed

Crappy DHs seem to be a bit of a theme at the moment on here. I agree and feel like I have to take control of everything TTC and DH just comes along for the ride [inadvertent double entendre!]. I spent much of the weekend having the blog on with him - him arriving home on Friday night and traipsing dog poo all over every floor on the ground floor and then dabbing it with a wet wipe to clean it up didn't help me feel the love for him! He also seems to think at the moment that he can just plant his behind on the sofa on a Friday night and not peel it off until the Monday morning. This situation isn't helped by the seemingly never ending football season. Grrrrr.

Hello lovely ladies!

Hope you've had good starts to the week. The weather here is fine and sunny and that always helps my mood.

joycep ? sorry about the conversation you had with your mum. I made the mistake of telling my aunty about IVF, she?s quite a close aunty as she doesn?t have children of her own. When she found out our IVF wasn?t successful last week she basically just said ?oh well, if you aren?t meant to have children you?ll have to find some other way to enjoy life ? nice holidays or something?. I promptly ended the conversation before I said something I?d regret.

Glad we?ve all been validated by the book you?re reading though! You have all saved me from what would have otherwise been a pretty miserable existence.

nelly ? sorry ERTD showed it?s face at the weekend. I hate the is it/isn?t it stage worst of all. I?d echo what pout said about the HSG ? it?s one of the first things they do on the NHS so if you can get it for free, save your money for other things, though I hope you won't need to spend any money at all.

pout ? how?s the 2WW going? Glad your appointment has come through, it will be here before you know it. I hear you on endless football seasons and DHs who think they can literally do nothing all weekend ? and every evening - I?m hoping he snaps out of it soon, my patience is wearing thin.

lemon ? sorry AF appeared but yay for getting IUI started month. I?m excited for you.

wine ? I?m sorry about the costs of getting a second opinion, it continues to astonish me just how much these things cost.

I?m glad you have nice things planned for yourself over the coming weeks and months ? you deserve them!

izzy ? I?ve been thinking of you this weekend. Hope you?re ok and you?ve had good news today.

gin ? So glad everything went well at the clinic last week. Exciting that you could be starting mild IVF next month! When we did IVF, DH didn?t seem bothered at all about producing the goods on demand ? though I suppose it?s the 3rd/4th time he?s had to do something similar for all the tests leading up to it. I raised the issue of whether we should get some frozen but he didn?t want to - probably because that was another £400!

kitty ? sorry you had to face the force of the coven yesterday. I?m just a little bit ahead of you cycle wise, gearing up for our first SWI of 2012 this week!

nellie ? hello and welcome! Sorry you have to be here though.

I had a busy weekend baking lots of treats for my mum and spending as much time as possible with my new baby niece, who arrived at the end of last week. She is just beautiful ? I?m totally besotted with her and have spent the weekend gazing at her and enjoying newborn cuddles remembering all the old wives' tales

The only slight downer was that I had the Sunday night blues again as there's still no sign of an appointment from the clinic ? I?m started to get frustrated now and will ring this week if nothing comes through.

Waves to everyone I've missed!

Izzy - oh it does sound like things are up in the air. Hope you receive good news.

Lady- at your aunt's comment. Could she not see that you Were distressed? I hate those kinds of comments at the best of times. My mother has basically said the same to me before, "well if it doesn't happen you can just live the life of riley and see the world". But seriously you don't say that after a failed ivf cycle. I'm sorry you have had no word of a follow appt - I thought going private would be quicker? And sorry about the blues- it must be so hard. Oh I know those old wives tales very well. You have to hold a baby for a day!

Pout - Grrr at the football season. Have you had more blood tests recently then? Ovarian reserve is such a worry and I wish the test hadn't have been invented. It has plagued me ever since my gynae told me that I was low for my age but straight after I specifically told her I didn't want to know because I knew I would worry. Charming. However you have good length cycles so I am sure you are fine. GP appt is on Friday but I am not really sure what to say. I guess I just want a referral and to check I am rubella resistant.

Kitty - pleased you had a manic weekend. I love it when I don't have time to think about things. Certainly a running theme with DHs. I think they just stick their head in the sand. I also have now discovered that my DH has taken up smoking again. I am absolutely furious. It just adds to the imbalance of me doing everything and he can't even stay away from the fags. Yes it was the dreadful AMH test that has scared me.

Nellie - welcome and sorry you are here. Well done for getting the ball rolling and hopefully will bring some answers.

Nelly - I am sorry about AF. And for your oh ignoring you after your comment. I think the only way to get their attention is to cry! Otherwise they seem to ignore those kind of comments. They don't quite understand that us girls need
constant reassurance that everything will be alright in the end.

Wine - well done on the soul searching. Tou sound much chirpier. Do you meditate? Sorry for scare mongering about Aussie shampoo, I have been using it for years too. Basically most things are toxic! Although nelly I do confess I had a moment at te weekend where I thought "that's it, it's the damned Aussie stuff preventing pregnancy!".

Mrsd - hope your visit from your friends went well.

That's the 'Three Minute Miracle' in the bin then joycep! Seriously though, even though I am pretty sure that peas aren't the key to my infertility I can't bring myself to swallow them now! I'll add mango to the list!

You must be absolutely fuming about DH's smoking. I feel really cross for you! Especially as you have worked so hard to change your diet and everything else that goes with this. Grr. When is your GP appointment?

As you and pout said I am also worried about my eggs. My numbers were ok-ish on this but I ovulate really late and have read that this makes them less viable. I wish they'd call it something else other than ovarian drilling. All the long names that then have acronyms are a great way to hide what they actually are. Ovarian drilling could surely be given a less daunting title!

Welcome to nellie- sorry that you find yourself on here. Hope your stay is short and sweet. Well done on the BMI reduction, that's brilliant! I seem to have managed the caffeine elimination but can't consistently sort the rest!

Wine I'm really glad that you having a more positive time emotionally- I have to say you put me to shame as I have been seriously wallowing of late and I think I need to take a leaf out of your book. Had a giggle at your envy of the 'evil vampire bump'. Have always had serious envy of Bella and her sexy wolf/ sexier vampire love triangle...but adding a bump to the equation?!

I found out over the weekend that my other very close friend is also pregnant, so have been a bit of a wailing wreck. She is due a month after our other friend (on number 4) so they will be on maternity together etc etc. The three of us do so much together and now I know that their lives are going to be so different from mine. I know I'll feel a bit better about it in a few days but it's going to be a long old 9 months!