TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Took me so long I missed yours freedom. Great advice from kitty though to print off those official guidelines and go in making it clear that you won't budge on being given a referral. Three years, regardless of the MC is too long to wait. If no luck I would go so far as changing your GP if at all possible.

Morning lovely ladies,

It's sunny here today and the inches of snow have miraculously disappeared. All very random.

We had our follow-up appt yesterday and it was awful. You can stop reading there if you want and I'd forgive you for skipping the next two paragraphs!

Our consultant essentially told us nothing we didn't already know - it wasn't the best IVF cycle, I responded ok but not great. He said we are still 6 months away from the top of the NHS list but he would put me on a short protocol next time with a slighter higher dosage of stimulation drugs. So, without any discussion, he started to fill in the treatment form for another round of ICSI - I think assuming we would self-fund again and not question his judgement. I should say that AF started yesterday and I was in a wicked mood to start with but his presumptious attitude sent me over the edge. So I launched into my questions and he basically didn't have any answers. When I got to asking about what he thought about mr gee's improved sperm sample, he looked totally blank - he hadn't even looked at it. I also asked about immunes and Array CGH, he said it was expensive and he didn't really believe in them.

To cut a long story short, I think he knew I wasn't going to go quietly after nearly an hour so mr gee is doing another sperm sample, I've had my day 1-3 bloods taken again and we're going back in May to continue the conversation about what to do next. In the meantime, I've booked a call with my GP next week to see about changing clinics for our NHS round. I don't see the point in being somewhere that doesn't want to do any additional tests if that's what we might need eventually.

Ok. Rant over.

Lemons ? sorry the two week wait edginess is kicking in. Do you have nice plans to keep you busy this weekend?

Gin ? Glad everything is going well, fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow.

Mrsd ? the situation you described with DH was my evening yesterday. There I was talking through all the pros and cons of moving clinics and he said he was listening but carried on playing computer games. Needless to say, when asked he couldn?t give me his opinion on it all. Grrr.

Lisa ? I?m so sorry you?re feeling down at the moment. Organising various appts and trying to match timings is very stressful, mr gee?s work schedule is largely out of his hands so it has makes booking time off a nightmare.

Wine ? Can?t believe your consultant hasn?t done anything yet, how infuriating And I'm so sorry your symptoms are back. I?ll join you in grumpy club. My consultant got on the wrong end of my CD1 hormones yesterday and I'm still as grumpy and angry today.

Freedom ? surely after three years you?re entitled to tests and a referral? I second kitty?s suggestion of printing out NICE guidelines. Failing that can you see another GP?

Kitty ? buying yourself a pressie sounds like a genius idea. I just bought myself a pretty new weekend bag in anticipation of mini trips and weekends away this year and in the absence of a baby, though that may be wishful thinking.

Waves to everyone else!

Wow Lady, well done for standing up for yourself. The doctor sounds like a plonker. I'm glad you're thinking of changing clinics. The power of NHS choice, if enough people start voting with their feet, the rubbish service might actually improve.

Quick message as supposed to be writing but boo ladygee that doesn't sound very caring or diligent? Is it Manchester Care? I think I'd be going there... would you say go elsewhere? I tend to think that in an IVF self funded clinic you would get exemplary care but they have been every bit as frustrating as NHS from the sounds of things?Hope your grumps pass soon. Mine are a bit better now I'm onto cd4. Phew says Mr Wine

kitty sorry to hear you have the pmt hormone slump thing. I get it at the same time - what might it be? It only lasts a day. I hope for you that it isn't pmt but some other progesterone surge. I strangely still have period pain on day 4 of my period. Our bodies are odd things, I wish I understood mine better.

frannie sorry about your late egg and low temps. Is it you doing IUI next round?

freedom any chance you could see another gp? I've found them all very different in terms of fertility understanding. But def take the nice guidelines.

Thanks whatmess - let's see how far we get! Both DH and I work in/with the NHS but it all feels so different when you're the patient.

wine - Caring is the word, no-one has asked how we found it or how we are, which I find unbelievable.

I should say that although we self-funded, we still went through our NHS clinic (at Halifax) as a satellite service and only went through to Manchester Care for the final stages. Our appt yesterday was at Halifax. We're actually going to ask if we can go direct to Care with our NHS funding because they are big believers in the immunology testing and Array CGH (where they test embryos for chromosome abnormalities). We were very, very impressed with the level of service we got there and I would go there again if we can. Looking back, I think the monitoring we had in Halifax was rubbish and, wherever we end up next, it will be at a full-service clinic rather than a satellite service.

I'm spotting. I knew AF would arrive over Easter, hopefully it won't be a painful or heavy one. I'm certain I didn't ovulate so I sort of wanted AF to come and then I can get on with the next cycle.

lady that Dr sounds rubbish. You think they'd have some idea of why you didn't respond well. Drs think they're gods don't they? And I always think that when you ask questions they take it to mean you're questioning their judgement. Good on you for asking all you wanted though.

freedom I would ask to see another GP if they don't take you seriously this time.

kitty good news about the smear. Was it you who was worried about the hiv test? Did you get it done?

Feeling slightly sick lemons? I won't mention the word symptoms!

lady - i?m so on your behalf. At least you were able to put your point across. However, this just does not sound like acceptable treatment. You shouldn?t expect this kind of useless feedback on any cycle but to get it when you have paid, is just astonishing. I agree with mrsd, I do believe many doctors think they are gods. And when he sits there and says ?I don?t really believe in immunes?, is that because he has worked closely with people undergoing immune treatment and seen no results or does he just know nothing about it. Uum let me think. The thing is you can be put through another round of ivf and presumably chances are that it will work. But you have to weigh up whether you want to rule out other things before you embark on another round especially if you are paying....I would check with your GP if she can run the Level 1 tests. I just can?t comprehend why these tests aren?t run before people go down the ivf route. Wouldn?t it be nice to rule out as much as possible first. and wound up for you.

Sorry for the spotting mrsd - how crap for the Easter break. Wine please you are feeling a little better.

Can?t wait to get out of the office for a whole 4 days off!

Oh boo mrsden af always picks it's moments doesn't it. You name it in the last year, it has found all my holidays, birthday, weekends away. I hope it isn;t too much of a rubbish one. When do you plan to do ivf?

ladygee that is interesting, I didn't realise you could self fund through the nhs Does that make it cheaper? And would you suggest paying the extra to just go wholly with the clinic? I was really surprised that the clinic could be so lame but that all makes sense now. I always feel a bit bad bashing the nhs as I have so many friends and family who work within it's structures and I know it has its strengths. But I feel let down by it this year in quite a spectacular way.

Happy almost holiday joycep!

I have finished a particularly challenging bit of writing ahead of 5 o'clock. And eaten a whole easter egg which is very unlike me and now I feel sick. Even though I've just had a period I am still wondering if I could possibly be pregnant as it only lasted three days. Even though my temperature has dropped. I think ttc does actually make you lose sense of rational thought. But I'm determined that the test upstairs will remain unwasted on such silliness.

Facebook is very Family Easter

Hi there just popping across from the IVF thread to say thanks to joycep for listing those Level 1 immune tests. I went along to see my GP with the list printed out and she agreed to do the ones I hadn't already had. She said they are usually done for people with repeat miscarriages (rather than my situation which is repeat implantation failure) but she seemed happy to do them anyway. So you are right that they are available if you ask so thanks for the tip.

Hello! [Waves sheepishly as has been away for a few days], realising a lifetime of stuff has happened on here.

Congrats to Mini and Stazi - fingers crossed for you ladies :-)

MrsDen - I don't think that I can be ovulating at the moment. Weird mid-cycle bleeding stopped and now when AF should be here, she isn't. I couldn't have my day 2-4 blood test today. I've been told that I may be able to have a blood test at the hospital if AF arrives today / tomorrow but that they will probably be unwilling to do one and I will have to stand my ground. How crap is that? I wonder if they will send all of the patients with bank holiday exuberance induced illnesses / injuries away too? Or if massive biffers having heart attacks will have to stand their ground too. Rant over!

Sorry to all for pregnancy announcements, inconsiderate friends, gossip-y mums and useless OHs. My two best friends are usually great with all of my TTC moaning. One has just started on her TTC journey and I haven't heard from her -I think she may be preggers and ignoring me- and I really miss having her around. Or maybe she's just busy and I'm hormonal and paranoid. Other best friend came to visit our new house last weekend and when shown the second bedroom (which will be office) announced "Wow this will be a lovely baby room!" She has been there with me through 2 MCs and knows that my hormones are royally fooked, why would she say this? WHY! I winced and really had to keep it together but felt royally pissed off and sad for the rest of the day. Especially as I had to spend Sat night scraping paint off the office walls whilst DH was on a stag in the Cotswolds. Yay for teetotal solo Saturday night DIY.

Hello to all the new peeps who've sadly found them on here recently. You are with a great crowd of lovelies. A great big welcome for me and I hope you don't take too long to pass on through. Maybe some of the BFP vibes will start rubbing off....

Pout - I've now told both my mum and MIL in detail about the goings-ons and although they have been brilliant, this has now opened the floodgates for conversations about piles, smears, the big M, ovulation bleeding and yup prolapses. Gross. TMI mummies TMI!

Joy have you heard about Stevia? It's a herb that is crushed to make a sweetner and was recently approved by the EU last year. I have no idea why it wasn't approved before, it's a herb. You can even grow it yourself. Otherwise, almond flour or veggies can be sub'd for sugar. You can also use avocado to make vegan chocolate mousse.

Wine I hate women who are pregnant and smoke. What are they doing to those unknowing little babies? Why don't they understand that they have a mini miracle going on inside them to be nurtured and protected. Makes me very very very angry. As do all those on Jeremy Kyle who have teams of babies from different dad's in very quick succession. I on the other hand have one lovely DH, beautiful home in rural Sussex, good job and organic lifestyle. And no baby. Just 2 MCs and 3 years of bitter barron resentment. Surely natural selection at it's worst?? Saying this, three years ago before TTC, it was Brighton pad (which is sat on the market after 6 months - TTS is just as frustatring), 10 - 20 a day habit and as much booze as ya like lifestyle with cheese on toast and pots of prawn cocktail considered healthy and nutritious dinners. Oh how I miss those halcyon days.... [daydreaming about gin and tonic and fags and parties].... I do worry that I did myself a mischief. Still, I hardly consider 1 or 2 too many glasses of wine or G&Ts and a few fags that bad and I'm no Robbie effing Williams. I'm actually considering that his OH may have been upduffed by someone else. Can you imagine having a BD with Williams? Nope. Me neither.

Right, I've been on here far too long! I've done practically zilch work today and I'm now looking forward to a lovely long weekend with a wedding and a lunch in Surrey (ooo get me) in the middle.

Hope everyone has a really lovely weekend. I'm hoping that mid-cycle bleed was actually AF and that I don't have to stand my ground at the hozzy this weekend.

Ooo and count me in for a meet up if that's still poss?

Cuddles and kisses to all. Hope to hear of some more BFPs soon.

Hi Carebear - oh I am pleased your gp is going to do them. I was so sorry to read about your last ivf round (I lurk), i just find myself hoping so much it works for everyone. I hope you Are bearing up ok. I hope they find some answers to the implantation failures. Will you be looking into immunes?

Hi ladies. Almost the long weekend, wohoo!

nelly hope your secret hobby evening was fun! at pearl necklace wastage.

pout A Maccy Ds would even be an improvement where I live! We?re all about the fake KFCs here.

mrsd my DH was pretty rubbish about the whole IVF thing until we actually started treatment and how he?s great! I shall let you know how the treatment goes. I too have never been in hospital and am totally rubbish at anything vaguely medical! And boo to AF. Hope it?s an ok one.

lemon I too get a dodgy tummy when nervous! Do you mind me asking how you overcame this?! I think I might have to mention it to the clinic, as a sedated ER with the shits might be messy! Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

lisa sorry you have been feeling down and hope you too are feeling a bit better today. at what happened to you during the erpc.

Wine Grrr at shit consultants not doing their jobs. Yay for whole Easter eggs in one go and step away from that test!

joy at my clinic they don?t do anaesthetic, just sedation. I?m sure they?ll be able to find some way round it. AGRC have great success rates and are meant to be good for any immune issues. I?ll send you one of the ?healthy? recipes when I have a mo. Might do some baking this weekend myself, as a pre-EC distraction.

kitty boo to PMT but hurrah for normal smear. I had a phase of buying myself a ?period? present, although it did begin to get a little expensive!

Frannie DH and I have been coming up with inappropriate Easter eggs jokes! Would be rather amusing if EC was actually on Easter Sunday. I?m all for temping and OPKs ? in fact I was quizzed at the clinic about whether I?d been using OPKs.

Ladyg Pleased to hear you made it to the consultant but sooo at him on your behalf. How utterly shite. I know that sometimes they just can?t tell you why it didn?t work, but it seems he hadn?t even read your notes or considered your case properly. And can?t believe he thought you?d pay him more money for another go there! Well done on sticking to your guns.

Princess Lol at Robbie?s misses being updiffed by someone else! Like Michael Jackson! Hope you have a more fun weekend planned, than the solo, sober diy one.

Well we managed the antagonist injection last night. It?s v. fiddly, involving injecting fluid into a vial, mixing it with the powder then sucking it up again and finally injecting it into me! We had a huge stress trying to get rid of air bubbles. The actually jab didn?t hurt at all but the bugger went all red and itchy, with a huge lump afterwards. A normal side effect apparently... In the non ttc world, had a phone call today to say my crazy parent has been sectioned :( He does know when to pick his times! He?s in the best place now, but I am being selfish and not going to visit until I?ve at least had ET. Think my brother will pop in to see him though. Sigh. Will be indulging in some easter chocolate to cheer myself up!

Hello ladies. Just reading through the thread and spotted the not one but two BFPs! Wow! and massive congratulations to you both mini and stasi!

As for me i am getting there slowly. After being told I had miscarried I have had another scan. Baby is doing well and measures 8weeks and 2 days which is exactly where my PEAK on cbfm puts me. I didn't ov until day 22.

I can't remember who said upthread they were concerned about a short lp. When I had my daughter I had a 10/11 day lp depending on cycle. This time I had ridiculous cycles before falling pregnant. The two cycles before I fell I had a 26 day cycle with a 5 day lp, then a slightly longer one with an 8 day lp. So it doesnt mean a huge problem as moat embryos implant at between 5-7 dpo so as long as lp is longer than that it should all work our ok!

Joycep thanks that's sweet of you, the getting on with the next bit of tests / treatment is definitely helping this time. I've got an appointment with the famous Mr S in about a month to get the rest of the immune testing done so will see if that throws up anything. FYI I didn't find the physical side of IVF that bad at all, in fact way easier than clomid and hycosy. Yes emotionally it feels huge going through it especially first time. I'm not too worried about going through it again though now I know what to expect. Also why did you want a recipe without flour, because of the wheat? If so I use Rye flour a lot which seems to be fine.

sorry for the hijack, waves to everyone else.

oh and i did enjoy the pearl necklace comment. x

Well where do I start! This thread is moving so fast. I?ll go back a few pages as I know there were a few things I wanted to comment on.

Right first off, stasi yes it would be good to meet up some time! Especially now that you have more fun stuff to talk about! Interesting that this was within the 3-month window post-HSG. Makes me even more frustrated that I still haven?t had that fucking referral letter yet (now 7 weeks since I sent back the invasive questionnaire). joycep I won?t be able to do the London meet this time though as I think that?s when we will be on holiday. Hope it?s fun when it happens.

lisacn no I don?t think we know each other! Unless you are Scottish . I am sorry you are feeling so down, this is such a rollercoaster. Your previous treatment so far sounds fairly horrendous, you sound like you have had a tough time of it. As others have said though, this is a trough, and there will be a peak ? or at least a slightly less horrific moment! ? in your future very soon :)

That is amazing news on the follies gin. Well done ovaries! Fingers crossed for Easter Eggs.

ladygee sorry about the pregnancy announcement, I had two this week. Both pretty much accidents. Honestly, I am VERY happy for these people . Oh and one of my FB friends is now putting some FB pregnancy update app thing on. Oh hooray. But Grrrr to your bloody consultant, I agree about the megalomaniac nature of so many Doctors. Well done for standing up to him. Seems like you had prepared in advance, which is a great idea, as it?s so hard to remember all the questions you had in the heat of the moment.

I guess I hadn?t figured out that this cycle puts a 2012 baby off the table. Pants. Was it you that mentioned it mrsden? Time really does fly doesn?t it. Sorry that the clinic is closing down, hope it doesn't put too much pressure on your one.

Welcome to Artemis and Beryl, love the names! Sorry you have had to join us but we are quite frankly an amazing bunch of people!!

wine I cannot believe they have not talked about your case yet. Some super keen doctors should be clamouring over each other to deal with you, so they can write you up in a medical journey (as Cured and Pregnant, naturally!) but instead they seem to be putting this in the Too Hard category. Honestly I get so fed up of people who just aren?t doing their jobs which may or may not be because of my own work colleagues ineptitude However I too love the image of giving Lottery finger a rollicking. What are they waiting for, for flips sake!

Hooray for good smear news kitty - I know what you mean about it being one less thing to worry over!

Same secret hobby everyone, don?t worry - no time or money for anything else, and not sure I have the figure for Burlesque tassle twirling . Just don?t like to mention it all the time as I?m still a bit paranoid about people in RL figuring me out!

pout hahaha at the pearl necklace being a waste! Tis true! Ended up late to bed last night, as I came in wired from my secret hobbying. OH was asleep but I managed to wake him up. Unfortunately he reckoned this meant we should have a shag. Really? But it was 6DPO ? pointless!!

Not much going on here. About mid 2ww, keeping myself very busy between work and secret hobbies. Did have a nice chat with my colleague yesterday that knows about my issue and has been there herself. We are hopefully going to go out for a few drinks one night soon which will be lovely.

I wonder if Orla Keily does changing bags? I hope so ? what is the point in having a baby otherwise?

Right that was a very long post and I have still missed heaps out. Weather forecast rubbish for the weekend so will probably be on line more than in the garden!! General hello to everyone else, hope you have lovely Easter weekends :)

Ooh congratulations izzy! What a nightmare you must have had with the whole MC scare. But you?re almost there at the 12 week mark? I hope everything goes smoothly from now on. It was very encouraging to hear that your short lp didn?t make a jot of difference after all.

Sorry about the pg announcements, lady and nelly. I haven?t had one of those in a while, but I have noticed that FB has become particularly annoying heartwarming recently.

There?s so much going on and this thread moves so quickly? but I did want to say how sorry I was to hear of all your troubles wine. I think you?re bearing up remarkably well, all things considered, and I really hope you get some answers soon. By the way, I also find myself wondering whether I am pg at the most unlikely of times? I used to be rational (well, sort of). Today I burst into tears at ?Animal 24-7?. Some poor dog had to get his front leg amputated and I blubbed like the baby I can?t have a baby. Think I must be about to ovulate? which is typically rotten timing as Mr Beryl is going away tomorrow for a whole week. Harumph.

Waves to everyone else!

lady your dr sounds like a baboons arse!!!! What is the point in being in this line of work if you are not understanding and dedicated to it, where is the empathy and support It sounds like a good plan to change hospitals, these people need to get on board, rant over

nelly last time I checked I was a kiwi

wine there is no excuse for them taking this long!!!

free its totally ridiculous that they are making you wait

gin i'm lucky they didn't perforate my bowels which is what they thought they had done, when they first told me I had miscarried again and I said I'd have another ERPC, the young dr had to go through the risks and said that it was a 1/250 chance they would perforate my uterus and it had never happened while she had worked there (6 months)
lol to your fake kfcs i'm dying to know where you and pout live

izzy thats great news :)

mrsd sorry about AF, hope its quick and painless

kitty I know I shouldn't bitch moan about my situation as others on here have been through so much more, and yes I can get pregnant but I just worry about getting pregnant again and it not working again especially at my age and not having enough time try again, I hope you are feeling better

I'm feeling calmer at the moment, although I think things could get feisty in the Nicker household as we are planning some DIY, have just eaten a whole easter egg, I still have 3 to go when DH brings them out of hiding

Thank you for your support ladies, hope you all have a lovely easter

waves to Beryl Treacle joycep free mini frannie artemis lemon euro wine pout mess

Quick wave and good easter to all (from the mentalling lemon household). We're away for the weekend (eating too many eggs with both sets of parents ) so a quick post from work).

Gin my DH laughed at me when I explained the concerns I had with the runs and the gynae chair. But I seem to have gotten rid of most that was inside of it on my way to the clinic... I also felt guilty about the severe wind I got as a side effect from the trigger, but the gyn didn't seem to notice (a professional). And if your sedated you might be a bit more chilled and thus likely to hold it in? I am sure they have seen everything, but if you are really worried, I would call a nurse, they tend to be brilliant at solving/reassuring about such things.

Oh and a quick for lady's moronic Doctor, and for wine's wait. I am shocked and very cross on your behalf.

Morning all, hope you're all having a good bank holiday weekend. I've been up since 6, which is a) miraculous and b) bloody unfair.

Izzy that's really great news, so glad the bean has hung in there, hope things go more smoothly from now on. Thanks for the info on your short LP, there is so much conflicting information out there it's good to have some positive stories. I am sure I'm not alone in sending myself mad with overinformation and what ifs. I need to learn to step away from google once in a while!

I'm shocked but not entirely surprised at the poor treatment so many people are getting from consultants and GPs. Lisa at your perforated uterus. ladygee I can't imagine why a consultant would think it OK to make assumptions about your willingness to pay for further treatment. wine I hope you get some info soon. Freedom please go back to your doc or a different one with NICE guidelines in hand and demand a referral. The first time I went to my GP she told me to go away and keep trying then when I finally got referred (by a different doc) the fertility nurse said we should have gone to them sooner . I don't want to slag off the NHS as we'd be far worse off without it but I do hate that arrogant demeanour a lot of doctors seem to have, expecting you to shut up and not ask questions and meekly accept whatever course of action or inaction they think best. And that thing about everywhere being closed on bank hols and weekends.... grr.

Princess I share your loathing of people who smoke round kids. I constantly see our neighbour out in her garden with the baby in one hand, a fag in the other and a can of stella propped on the wall. It winds me up as much as the Robbie Williams thing does. BD with Williams? Jeepers [vomiticon]. Not if he was the last coke-addled egomaniac tossbag on earth.

Maybe there's a lesson here though. Perhaps instead of all this clean living bollocks I should get the vodka in, crank up the stereo and get into some serious drugs . Who's in?

Right, off out to do bank holiday type things... sympathies to those dealing with poorly timed AF and fingers crossed for those of you on the dreaded 2WW or undergoing treatment. Gin well done on managing the injection and sorry to hear about the parental situation. Sounds like you should let your brother deal with this for now and concentrate on yourself. Euro centrifugal sperm, now that has surely got to do the trick

Big hugs to everyone and waves to those I've missed

Just a quick hello from me, from a chocolate coma. It's raining here, which is dampening my enthusiasm for doing anything. Hooray izzy for sticky bean still sticking, time must feel like its dragging a bit to get to that 12 week mark?

Whoops Mr Nelly nagging me to hurry up so we can go to Sainsburys do fun stuff, so better go. General hello to everyone

Are there no Easter emoticons? On phone. What about [esmile] ??

Or [bsmile] for bunny or [rsmile] for rabbit?

I give up guessing now!!

Hi everyone. Just a quick hello now I am back in civilisation. Going to go read back now.

ah I see I missed a letter our in my guesses it should be [bu grin] [bugrin]

Ah lisa don't do the DIY. Mr Nelly and I managed about 4 minutes this morning before calling each other nasty names [bushock]

6am artemis? That is indeed early for any day of the week, let alone a bank holiday. I am impressed.

I have achieved very little today. Woke up to what looked like an ok day, but it got steadily more dreich and this has put me in a bit of a black mood. I much prefer sunny days. Which is a shame, given where I live! Hope everyone else had a more fun and/or productive day than me [busmile]

Ok, read all the way back, but there was so much I've not remembered all. I can confirm this is Stasi. DH didn't want me posting identifiable info any more, so deleted the photos of me and changed names.

Still not very confident about the pg yet. Not exactly nervous or worried, just want confirmation. Still peeing on sticks every couple of days.

I've been sorry to read all the various bad news from people. I'd hoped that you'd have some answers by now wine and joy, I really thought your clinic would be embarrassed about forgetting you and have made up with an excellent appointment. nelly we should organise a meet up then. I've got family staying is week, but maybe the week after? I should get back to visitors really, been catching up on here for ages and ignoring them all. Will try and keep more active on here from now on.