TTC 10 plus months, part 6

[mrsden]

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

Thanks for the kind words, I'm not normally such a drama queen but today just got to me...

Oh dear Pout - I think you just described me in your last post...now you will have to come and keep another badly dressed, bad hair, no makeup person company.

That description is me too pout, I check all those boxes.

Welcome tetley!

evening ladies

joycep yes Sutton is on the outskirts of London, or if I want to sound posh I say Surrey :) I'm only 30 mins out of Victoria and keen to meet up, I go walking with a lady from mumsnet and have met up with other lovely ladies online, what is there not like about you all, gin I can drink like a fish ,pout you are a hoot and i'm sure you are in person too so it would be good if came aswell

tetley Welcome and sorry you are feeling :( but its still early if you re CD26, fingers crossed for you

I'd still love to meet up too, and I know wine was keen last time I saw her. It might be a bit of a struggle to get down to London in the week but I will do my best and it might be a good excuse for a day off work! I know all you ladies will be lovely and it will be lots of fun. Before wine and I met up we did a bit of facebooking if anyone is interested in that too.

Welcome tetley

joyce I'm glad you resolved the party situation and it does sound like mr Joyce owes you one.

nelly agree with everything you said about never having children. If it ever came down to that, it would of course be awful, difficult and there would be a lot of grieving to do. But, it would be possible to forge a different life, maybe not the one expected but fulfilling in different ways. Of course I hope it never comes to that for any of us and I really don't think it will.

I'm loving all the chat about meeting up - the normal worries of what people think of you; whether your hair is good enough; or what if one of us is really a cyber stalker that is going to murder us all (though whichever one of you this is, you are very well versed on TTC chat ). It's quite funny that we all chat about such intimate details and if we met would be happy to do that, but give false names or something! Actually the ONLY thing that would worry me is if it turned out I know one of you already. Seems unlikely but I do know some people that live dan sarf, so warn me if any of you are originally from Scotland please!! (lisa I know someone who lives in Sutton - is it you??) But for those of you who worry about your looks or personality or anything - please please don't! It strikes me that the 10+ers are not judgemental :) On one or two other freds I've been on in the past, there have been loads of people I thought I'd really like but perhaps one or two I wasn't so sure about. Not on this one - I think because we've all been here a long enough time to "know" each other helps, but I'd hazard a guess we aren't that different; I think we have unwittingly gravitated towards like-minded people that we'd happily be friends with in RL. Anyway I have very bad hair right now - way more grey than I'd like, given how I'm such a spring chicken and all, and will probably smell of the countryside . Can someone PM me as if I could make it, I'd really like to.

joycep you can have my horse if you like? She was a bit of an opinionated madam tonight! But yes I know I'm lucky I have something like this, and as I've been obsessed since I was so young, it doesn't feel like I'm forcing myself to do it. Hurrah for tennis being an outlet, at least TTC is having a positive impact somewhere! I did try to chase my appointment after about 3 weeks and she practically laughed at me. I will chase again next week if I've not heard though.

kitty that was very well put!

Mr Nelly just sent me a lovely text about how much he was looking forward to coming home. I don't really believe him, I know he is only trying to make me feel a bit less jealous that he is away and I'm not; but the thought was there .

nelly at cyberstalkers who want to murder us all! When I told my DH about our thread he said 'how do you know that one of you isnt really a bloke?' I thought that was hilarious given the things we talk about, a bloke would have to be in seriously deep cover to pretend to be a woman on this thread . They were lovely things you said about the thread, nelly, I very much agree

Hello, just to say we managed the first injection last night, wohoo! DH did it and it really didn't hurt. The only slightly scary moment was when we realised the whole dose hadn't come out [cue much swearing from me] and he had to do it again! As I flinched, he stabbed me twice, so now have 3 tiny holes/track marks

And yay to meeting up! Let's do it!

Very well said Nelly. I'm a bit too much of a chicken to meet up, much as I envy you all what will no doubt be a fab day.

Welcome Tetley, I'm sorry you find yourself here. I hope things start to turn around for you soon and you get some answers. The waiting is always so hard.

Well, this is really just a quick one to say hello as I haven't posted for a couple of days. All is well still in the messy household. I am trying hard not to build expectations as it is only first cycle post ovarian drilling, can't help hoping though.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Mine starts today. I am off to the shops with dd and SIL to buy dd a flower girl dress. It is going to be sheer hell as dd thinks she is wearing her disney princess dress or at the very least something pink. I am thinking of leaving them both to it. It will be revenge for the expensive hen do .

Morning!

Love your already started weekend, mess. Just need to finish some bits and pieces, although I am officially off. And leaving your dd to traumatise your SIL sounds like a plan, while you go off for coffee with a good book/magazine!

Meeting up still scares me! But I am sure you are all fab, and make up, what's that? Am finishing stuff off at home - so have not even brushed my hair Am sitting here imaging joycep, mrsd and pout as triplets now!

Well done on the injection gin! Or actually, well done for gin's OH, especially for persevering!

Waves at nelly and her horse (that sounds like a kid's series) and the others...

Afternoon all. Just a quick check in from me. Trying to focus on work some more, but not doing very well. My ex/current/non-boss told me I should resign yesterday.... said I'd be happier and should do something I enjoy and make the most of life. All a bit confusing.

I'm 8DPO and feeling sick all the time. AF should be due Monday, when I'm driving down south on holiday. Will either be a great day, or a meh day depending. I don't often get depressed about AF turning up, or if I do I can confine it to morning and evening bouts. I shall have a good time next week either way!

I'd love to meet up sometime, but getting to London mid-week might be hard. If you can let me know the day and time I'll try my best though. Nelly I think we're both in Scotland.. and maybe someone else too. Does anyone want to do a Scottish meet up? I could do Edinburgh or Glasgow quite easily (though would prefer Ed).

Got to get back to work now, need to finish a report before my holiday.

Waves to everyone, and "Hi" to Tetley you sound like a lady after my own heart - I only drink Tetley (decaff these days)! Sorry you've had such a tough time, I hope you find some help and support on this thread, or at least a place to vent and mental without worrying what people will think of you.

Afternoon :) back to my normal jolly self today.

I've spoken to the clinic and they want me to ring them on Monday if nothing else has happened and I can book in for my xray and paint injecting (mmmm nice) and I'm off to the hozzy this afternoon for more blood tests. Typical that AF plays silly buggers this month as it just means another month before any tests can be done.. Aren't bodies a pain in the arse sometimes!

Hello ladies!

Thanks for all your thoughts about what the mystery spotting might be, I hoped it was ov spotting but I think it was too heavy for that as it continued for a couple of days but it has disappeared now. I might ask about cervical erosion at our appt next week as that's a new one! pout you?re right, it?s tiring trying to figure out what?s going on every second of every day, I certainly didn?t pay much attention before ttc.

lemons ? well done on the successful iui-ing! Hope the two week/16 day wait isn?t too onerous. I?ve got my fingers crossed for you.

wine ? hope you?ve thoroughly enjoyed your well-deserved break and indulged in a little guilt-free booze. Sorry the hospital might need to refer you elsewhere, another step on such a long journey.

joycep ? You summed up the complexity of this whole thing perfectly. Rather than getting answers, I feel like every appt and stage I go through raises more questions and more possibilities about what could be going wrong. To throw my two-penneth into the party conversation, those parties are horrendous anyway before you add ttc into the mix so it sounds like you?ve made the right decision. I used to go to my friends? children?s birthday parties all the time, now we mainly say we?ve got other things on.

euro ? I?m glad you?re happy with the decision you?ve made. And hoorah for being unmedicated for another month! I hope it all goes well.

gin ? well done on getting the first injection out of the way ? though ouch at having track marks. Sounds like you?re a lady after my own heart with the love of spreadsheets, I spent one night this week creating a masterpiece [modest emoticon] for summer holiday options, what a geek!

mrsd ? so sorry you had a sad day yesterday, I?ve had a few too many days like that recently. I hope you?re feeling a bit brighter today.

Hello ahhtetley and welcome. If you?ve been reading you?ll know that a few of us are familiar with DHs being like chocolate teapots and strange goings on with AF and random bleeds - so you?re in good company!

nelly ? I enjoyed your soapbox post It does help, when I?m in the right frame of mind, to remind myself how lucky I am in other ways. Sorry about the colleague pregnancy announcement, I had a client tell me she was expecting her 2nd this week, feels like she?s only just come back from maternity leave after her first, sigh. I?d definitely pester them about your appointment again.

pout ? I share the fear over meeting up too. I thought you were describing me in your post yesterday, I?m generally pretty quiet at social gatherings so would have to overcome this fear too!

I do go down to London every other week with work so hopefully I could make a London mid-week meet up. If not, as 8nelly* said, it would be good to arrange something else for others that couldn?t make it too.

Hello stasi ? at being told to resign, I hope he meant well?!?

Waves to whatmess, kitty and others I've missed.

Right, must try to be productive for the last few hours of the day before the weekend finally arrives.

Hi all, sorry for the week long absence. I have been away travelling for work, which helps to take my mind off the 2ww. But it does mean I've been very bad at keeping on top of all the happenings here. Here's some to go around, and decaf for those of you being good and there really should be an emoticon for [gin and tonic]!

Not sure what to say as an update. Have been feeling shitty exhausted all week, probably just too much travelling and needing a holiday, but have twice this week gone to bed early! And now at about CD27 had some bleeding. Pretty sure it's bloody AF come early, but as also accompanied by feeling pukey (quickly sorted by two crumpets and marmite :) ) I am in denial sure it's an implantation bleed. Cue much Dr Googling about being Rh- and early bleeding .

If it is AF, then at least I've got GP visit on Weds, where I shall, of course, turn into a blubbering wreck!

But very pleased to be about to start a few weeks holiday, woohoo. Starting with househunting tomorrow. Depending on progress downbelow today, I shall either be throwing caution to the wind and putting an offer in on a ridiculously expensive and family impractical house, or trying to find a sensible and affordable house... :o

Stasi what an odd comment! I had my annual review yesterday and although it was largely positive, one comment I got was that I should give off more positive vibes around the office. I was sitting there thinking "if only you had some idea of the year of despair I have just been through, chaps". Ironically enough, I know that the wife of one of the two guys sitting on the other side of the table suffered a miscarriage a few months back that really knockered her for six. He can tell me that, but I don't feel that I would want to share my problems with him, not least because I don't want getting pregnant to affect my career before it has to!

Gin well done on the injection. Now I have done one, I feel quite blasé about them.

Hello lovely ladies, another quick phone post but just wanted to say hi and welcome to tetley. Hope I'm not too much of a newbie but I'd love to meet up and could come to London, as I'm in the South East. Could make some mid weeks but not others. Would be great to speak in RL although I do have similar concerns to others as I'm not the most confident in groups! Had a moment last night when a girl from school posted photos of herself on holiday at the mo. I have a feeling she's been trying a while and I was thinking 'could she be wine?'. Paranoid, me?!

tetley glad you're feeling better :)

nelly yes I live in Sutton :-) do we know each other??? I use the same name on all the websites, less confusion at my age

stasi its a very odd thing to say

perhaps we could meet up on a weekend sometimes as well as during the week, well DH is home now so hopefully I shall be fed soon

hope you all have something nice planned for the weekend

Hello everyone

Ooh it's been quiet over the weekend, I hope that means lots of enjoyable weekends have been had. We were mostly cleaning and tidying this weekend , it needed doing though and it's nice not feeling guilty about all the jobs piling up.

gin how are your injections going? Have you got lots of appointments this week? Hope all is well.

euro I felt for you about that 'being more positive around the office' comment. I would have found that hard to take. I have had a few 'you seem quiet/a bit down' comments but nothing that bad considering I've probably spent the last year walking round with a miserable look.

I wondered if anyone read Bibi Lynch's artice in the Guardian yesterday Bibi Lynch

...and what you thought about it? It's about the pain of childlessness and the Coven. Whilst I agreed with a lot of what she said, I did think it sounded as though she was a bit in denial about the impact of age on fertility. It was sad that she didn't find a partner in time though.

Hello people. I had a lovely time. I was restrained because I appear to have lost my ability to drink more than three drinks without feeling drunk and suffering a hangover. Thanks ttc! It was good to get some sun and a change of scene but the end of the two week wait was still stuck in my brain every time I went to the loo.

Woke up to spotting yesterday at cd27 and it's still here today with a bit of a temp drop so I imagine period will greet me in the morning. I'd got kind of attached to the idea this month, I really shouldn't do that. I liked the idea of a baby made on mothers day and due on my birthday (apologies that's a bit twee but you know what I mean) Bums. I even dared to let myself think about the nursery this month - it is planned! I never did that before. I thought my period was coming early this month as i had full on cramps on 9dpo and a huge temp drop. Then it went sky high after that and it's the first time ever my chart had an implantation dip look about it. So I think that's why I got a tiny bit excited. I was even tempted to wee on my last remaining test for the first time in 6 months today just to see if maybe maybe something was happening..but the spotting looks the same as ever and my boobs haven't changed into magical pregnant boobs (!) so I'll save myself the eye squinting pits of disappointment. I've felt quite pissed off today actually. I want a baby! And fostering and adoption are such challenging options. I want to snuggle my own warm baby. So very broody today. I blame the couple opposite us in the cafe this morning with their oh so cute baby girl.

Well I've missed all sorts. Lots of talk of meeting up. You all know I'll come of I can, meeting kitty felt easy, as if we knew each other already Facebooking was a good next step to put a face to the name. I'll happily be Facebook friends with any of you lot. I don't think any of us need worry about our hair or faces, this is all a bit more deep rooted now. I was thinking that if we had, by chance in a parallel universe, met in an nct class then we wouldn't have the privilege of getting to know each other so nicely in this space where we can say what we think and how we feel so easily. Without meaning to sound hormonally ott, I feel quite close to our little community and it keeps me going, one foot in front of the other. I hope we always stay in touch - we will have been through a lot and who else truly understands? Not bothered about anonymity since I've told you all I get a feelng a pressure up my bum every month!!

nelly you wrote such lovely words I almost did a little bulb on my balcony.

euro what an utterly shit thing for someone at work to say to you. Not one of us knows what other people carry in their emotional backpack and no one has the right to tell someone they work with to be more cheerful. I'm on your behalf.

gin how's the injecting?

pout iPhone cover? Tiny bunting for cakes? Have you rummaged on etsy for ideas?

frannie no photos of me were posted so no worries there

Big fat old wave to all other 10 plussers. You are a lovely lot. Oh and Wine Sunday Tea Update is chicken with saffron, hazelnuts and rosewater from ottolenghi, sharing because it was Amazingness. Mmm.

Oh wine your post made me feel so emotional because you have so eloquently described this situation. You have struck a huge chord with me today because I've spent a day at a family event and have felt so broody, not just for a baby but for a family. I'm so sorry you think AF is on its way but please don't beat yourself up for letting yourself have hope. We all have to have it to go through this. And yes, sometimes that means that we fall harder but I don't think we should stop planning and dreaming for it. In this day and age I truly truly believe we will all get there. It may take us more time and intervention than any of us would ever want. But we will.
I know that I am new to posting here and I'm erratic with when I post but I second what you say in that I think this is such a lovely group of unjudgemental, open minded ladies that are so wholly supportive and this thread has made this situation so much more bearable. I feel privileged to 'know' you all, albeit in cyber life.
It's been quiet this weekend, so I hope that means you have all had relaxing and happy times! X

Morning everyone. Sorry I've not posted in a couple of days. We're off on holiday today, but have guests arriving here (my family) before we get home. So house had to be tidy with guest beds set up etc, as well as packing etc.

I've been very touched by the comments on here. I do feel I know you all, the ladies on mumsnet are pretty much my best friends. I spend evenings and weekends with you, tell you my secrets, and share my hopes and fears without worrying what you'll say.

On that note. I seem to have got a BFP this morning. Picture of pee stick in my profile. I am scared, sweaty, shaking, and delighted all at the same time. At only 11dpo I know I need to be careful. This is the first time I've ever had anything like this. I hope so much it's not a chemical..

Woohoo stasi! What lovely news first thing on a Monday! Congratulations. Have a lovely holiday and wrap yourself up in cotton wool please! Hope that everything goes really smoothly x

OMG stasi that's amazing! Congrats! Wohoo!

wine and frannie both of your messages were so lovely. I dont know what i would do without you ladies. So sorry about afs being on their way. Big hugs. Wine I'm pleased you had a lovely mini break.

Well I'm just back from my first scan and I appear to have something like 18 follicles! I'm totally dumbstruck, as they said they'd expect to collect 10-12 eggs from that and the norm with mild ivf is about 4!! Am a bit scared of over stimulating. The nurse said that I'm def not at the moment but has taken some bloods to double check. Feel a bit emotional about it all, damn hormones!

Hope you all have good days.

hi ladies,
omg stasi - this is amazing news!! After everything you have been through you totally deserve this and i am wishing you a very boring straightforward pregnancy. What amazing news for a Monday morning. Remind us of how long you have been trying ?

wine - i?m glad you had a lovely time away. I?m sorry about the spotting. Obviously i?m still wishing it was something more for you. Has the temps gone up again or down? I feel close to our little community as well on here, well put wine {smile]

nelly at cyber stalker talk..argh! What a lovely post though and I totally agree about like minded people etc. I think I need a placid horse. Every horse i ever ride can tell straight away i?m a pushover and they will always take me for granted!

gin - wow 18 follicles! That?s amazing. I thought you only started injecting a few days ago...do they grow that quickly?!

ladygee - i know it?s so infuriating how every step throws up more questions. I?ve spent the weekend trying to decide what to do next and now having liaised with someone on FF, they have thrown out there that I should be having the Level1 tests before going to immune testing.

Has anyone had any level 1 testing with their GPs?

Also, I was going to PM everyone with some dates to meet but is there a way of PMing to more than one person or has it got to be an individual message to everyone??

Hello,

Wow, what amazing news stasi. Enjoy your holiday, I'm sure you will! I said this was a lucky thread and you've proved it.

joycep I have no idea whether you can PM more than one person. If not then maybe we'll have to set up a chinese whispers type message, which has the potential to go very wrong!!

What are level 1 tests?

nelly that was a lovely post, made me want to well up.

wine gah, sorry about the spotting. You never know it might turn out to be ok. I know what you mean, I want a snuggly newborn. I also thought this month would be perfect, I really wanted to have a baby in 2012. 2013 seems such a long way off.

18, woah that's fantasic gin.

euro it's no surprise you haven't been a bundle of cheer. I try to mask what I'm feeling inside but some days I do find it hard.

I'm expecting AF to turn up this weekend, just in time to ruin the Easter weekend. I'm not even sure if I've ovulated this month. I've not temped so don't really know. I did have ewcm. But my boobs are not in the slightest bit sore which they normally would be by now. I really hope the pcos isn't getting worse and I'm never going to ovulate again.

SIL rang last night, she has her 20 weeks scan in 2 weeks. I can't believe she will be half way through and I'm still no further forward.

pout and anyone else who is worrying about meeting up. Please be assured that I am in no position to judge anyone on physical appearance. And I'm not a social animal either. But I think the chance to meet you and talk with people who are going through the same things would be really good.