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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Hoping to concieve a particular sex?

107 replies

prizeelliott · 12/02/2012 21:49

Hi, i'm just wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about natural sex selection? Have 3 wonderful DD's, a little DS would be the cherry on top! (Before anyone jumps in... I realise I am so lucky to have 3 healthy children, and I do realise that the sex of the baby is irrelevant).

Would be great to hear from anyone in same or similar boat xxx

OP posts:

items · 12/02/2012 21:52

We have this really cool Chinese book that is meant to be 90% accurate. We have checked all our kids, cousins etc etc and all have been accurate. Of course I would never go just off that but it might help. Takes your age at conception and month to conceive. We haven't used it but given we never found out the sex before the birth, it was right each time...

Original poster

prizeelliott · 12/02/2012 22:05

How fab is that!! If nothing else, sounds like a good giggle!!!

I wonder what the chances are of concieving a child of a particular sex after 3 of the other??!

Anyone else got 3 hoping for a 4th? Is it even socially acceptable to have 4 these days? Everyone I come into contact with seems to be of the opinion that 3 is too many! Make out that I would have ony neede 2 had DD2 been a DS... the cheek!!!

(Please forgive me anyone who finds this offensive... I realise and have the upmost respect for what people may be going through which makes this look like utter self indulgent bollocks!!!)

OP posts:

FriendofDorothy · 12/02/2012 22:11

Yep, it does indeed look like utter self indulgent bollocks.

cheekycurls · 13/02/2012 06:48

Yep, it does indeed look like utter self indulgent bollocks.

just be great full that u have 3 children and have no problems conceiving a 4th, if u want 4 children, have 4 children! 'socially acceptable'?! who cares, seriously?!

Blx2thelotofem · 13/02/2012 06:54

Oh, give her a break! OP, there are many different things you can do to 'sway' the odds, obviously, nothing is guaranteed, but if you would be happy with either gender, which it sounds like you would be, then what's the harm?

Chunkychicken · 13/02/2012 07:33

I always thought a good rule my mum taught me was 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...' It would apply on MN far too often IMO.

Big prize there is some suggestion that boy sperm (y's) are smaller & quicker than girl sperm (x's) so if you want a boy you should DTD when the egg is there/immediately after ov, whilst for girls you should do it in advance so the y sperm have given up but the x sperm are going strong!! However, this relies on knowing exactly when you ov...

Good luck! :)

fizzwhirl · 13/02/2012 08:52

The Shettles method is based on the idea that different conditions favour male or female sperm, and suggests some things you can do to influence the outcome.

Here is a summary, or you can just google 'shettles method'.

FriendofDorothy - it might be hard to hear from someone who has the luxury of even thinking about which gender they'd rather have, but you could have avoided this thread: it was pretty obvious from the title what it was about.

Prize - I know you realise how lucky you are, and I love how indignant you are on behalf of your DDs when people say 2 would have been enough if you'd had a DS I see no reason why you should feel bad about wanting to skew the odds towards having a DS to join your family. It also sounds like you're relaxed enough about the whether/when of another pregnancy that you might not be too put off by the downside of shettles: which is that because you abstain at certain times of your cycle, it might take you a bit longer to get pregnant.

Northey · 13/02/2012 09:02

Sometimes you don't even want to see the title to be honest.

Though I do appreciate that she has the right to ask the question, and this is the logical board on which to do so.

ddas · 13/02/2012 09:30

totally agree with chunkychicken and fizzwhirl give the OP a break. the title is pretty self explanatory so if it offends you'-don't read it! MNetters should really be kinder sometimes as puts people off coming on here and posting. gender preference may be taboo but it clearly exists so why pretend it doesn't. Of course getting pregnant at all is a bonus but if you are one of those very very lucky people who has managed to get pregnant easily before and are willing for it to take longer to try the nature theories out there re gender selection then good luck to them!!
I've heard of shettles method and also of the O+12 theory www.in-gender.com/Gender-Selection/Oplus12/
sorry about the above but really winds me up when I see horrible posts on MN from people who disagree with the OP. live and let live I say lol!

farfallarocks · 13/02/2012 09:34

The problem is that the vast majority of people on the conception thread are here for support because they are having problems, or its taking a while etc

So to see threads from someone wanting a 4th child of a particular gender is galling and upsetting if you are struggling to have one child of any gender.

Having a child is not like ordering something from a catalogue.

Northey · 13/02/2012 09:43

Exactly. This kind of non-problem wouldn't rile me half so much I I saw it in Chat or something, or even, oddly enough, if it didn't include the information that she had 3 already.

cherrybird1978 · 13/02/2012 09:44

At the risk of being slated, I think it is a good fun question, I know its basically impossible to choose gender but don't see the harm in playing about with tricks as long as you understand there is no guarantee. I have fertility problems and a medical condition which is more prevalent in girls so I was desperately hoping for a boy when we did finally conceive as I wouldn't want to put anyone through the medical proceedures I have had. However I wasn't bitterly disappointed to have a girl, she was wanted and loved from the moment she arrived and now I would love a sibling for her and I don't care what 'flavour' it is

Twinklebum · 13/02/2012 09:46

I have 3 boys then had a girl, although I didn't believe the midwife until I had seen for myself even tho I had been told at my scan by 3 different people! I did google for gender selection and read a fair bit, but I didn't apply any as at the time I fell pregnant I wasn't trying and had thought I'd been careful, but it all worked out perfectly! So it can happen after 3 of one sex

KatAndKit · 13/02/2012 10:42

farfallarocks has got there before me.
I wanted to post "it's not the Argos catalogue ffs!"

ellangirl · 13/02/2012 11:12

I have a DS, and am waiting on results of second round of ICSI to see if I am pregnant again. I would do anything (and am going through hell) to have another child of either gender but if I had a choice, I would choose a girl. It doesn't make me cross that OP would like a boy after 3 girls, and incidentally my friend has done just that, although they didn't use any method it just happened like that.

CaveMum · 13/02/2012 11:20

Sorry OP but I'm with the "be grateful" crowd.

There are so many women on the conception board that have been struggling for years to conceive just one child (myself included) that this thread is insensitive at best.

Good luck in your ttc journey, but sensitivity to others goes a long way.

farfallarocks · 13/02/2012 12:11

In fact kit I think I stole that line from you, its so good, I use it all the time, including in real life!

beangrower · 13/02/2012 12:44

Yes - and there is the point that if anyone really knew the secret of how to self-select a child's sex during natural conception then they would be filthy rich. And it's illegal in the UK to gender select during IVF... Though not in America of course. How about a trip to the States?!

I know the post was meant to be about 'a bit of fun', but seriously, I agree that it's fairly insensitive and possibly more so because OP seems to realise that it's insensitive and 'the sex of the baby is irrelevant'... So why bother? Dr Google could have told you all about it.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 13/02/2012 12:54

I don't see that its insensitive when its clearly spelt out in the title, if the op had mentioned it on a thread where people we're struggling to conceive then that would be insensitive

The board is called conception, not struggling to conceive/dtc so I think all questions should be fair game

Kayzr · 13/02/2012 12:56

I used the Shettles Method for DC3. We wanted a girl as I have 2 boys already. We were perfectly happy to have a boy too so thought we had nothing to lose.

20 week scan last week said its a girl.

Journey · 13/02/2012 13:57

I don't think there is anything wrong in wanting to conceive a particular sex. I had a dd after having three DS. My DD is the icing on the cake. She has completed my family and I feel a wonderful sense of contentment. I love and adore my boys so I knew if my fourth was a boy I would love him to bits. However, having a girl has brought a change to the norm. You get to buy and enjoy both girl and boys' things. You have a daughter! I still can't quite believe it when my DH says "we'll leave the girls to do x" (meaning me and my daughter). It's a wonderful feeling. I still can't quite believe how lucky I am. Of course when it comes down to it I love my children equally. I have no interest in having a favourite. It's just the joy of experiencing both sexes is great.

I conceived my DD a few days before ovulation. My DSs were conceived more on the day of ovulation.

Good luck op. I wish you all the best.

Original poster

prizeelliott · 13/02/2012 19:58

Thank you to those who actually had something positive to say.

But for the record I shall never as much as look at Mumsnet again. This is not a supportive social network for mums at all.

I really don't see how what I wrote was any more offensive than the reems of threads about choosing names etc. Will we get to the point where we cannot admit to having children incase it offends or upsets. I was hardly cruel and gloating. I am completley aware of the difficult sircumstances that some people go through.

I am sorry and goodnight.

OP posts:

nappymaestro · 13/02/2012 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

highlove · 13/02/2012 20:43

No prize, you weren't gloating. You were, though, crass and insensitive.

I disagree nappy - look at the title of threads - you will see that many, many people on this board are here because they're struggling. I'm one. You'll understand how awful it is if you're in the same boat. But that doesn't necessarily mean I want to be banished to a dedicated IF board just for the want of a little bit of sensitivity.

Original poster

prizeelliott · 13/02/2012 20:55

Oh please. I think your behaviour towards me is much more intentionally hurtful than anything I ever wrote.

Pray tell me ... where and when will you allow me to share my thoughts and feelings?

OP posts:

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