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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Hoping to concieve a particular sex?

107 replies

prizeelliott · 12/02/2012 21:49

Hi, i'm just wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about natural sex selection? Have 3 wonderful DD's, a little DS would be the cherry on top! (Before anyone jumps in... I realise I am so lucky to have 3 healthy children, and I do realise that the sex of the baby is irrelevant).

Would be great to hear from anyone in same or similar boat xxx

OP posts:

nappymaestro · 14/02/2012 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittysaysmiaow · 14/02/2012 09:13

Imho this is a conception board and therefore absolutely the right place to ask the question that makes me want to throw myself off a bridge

To those talking about bitterness etc, all I'd say is that infertility is truly shit, and a bit of compassion and understanding towards those who are having difficult times goes a long way.

kalidasa · 14/02/2012 09:35

Seems a perfectly reasonable question to me, obviously fairly light-hearted and the title was very clear. Infertility is ghastly but it's still the minority experience and I don't think it's wrong to ask questions about other aspects of conception on this board.

OP - yes, have a look at the Toni Weschler book or else google 'Shettles method'. You'll need to be patient though - I think to have the best odds of success you'd need to chart your cycles v. carefully (a la Weschler) for a good few months before going for it. If you have fairly regular cycles that might make it easier.

Btw, I'm one of five girls (no boys) and my mother's only brother had five boys (no girls)! Something funny going on there. My mother also miscarried quite a few and thinks perhaps for some reason she always lost the boys (but she doesn't know that they were boys, that's just her theory). I'm not sure if there's any scientific backing for the idea that some women (or rather some couples) may produce one sex only for some reason other than chance.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 14/02/2012 09:38

That's an interesting theory kalidasa, I know someone who has said the same thing, 4 healthy DSs and a few MCs in between them and she is convinced that her body rejects female foetuses for some unknown reason. There is still so much we don't know about the human body.

EmmaCate · 14/02/2012 09:48

Agree kalidasa.

Relating to the question - I tried natural conception for a DD after a DS and got one; the 'slow but long-lived' theory of female sperm worked for me. I had sex three days before ovulation to try and get a girl and it 'worked'. DS1 was honeymoon conception - I knew I was ovulating the day after my wedding and therefore the 'fast but short-lived' theory about male sperm won on that occasion.

In case not clear the idea is that boy sperm get there quicker but die earlier, so if you can introduce sperm a few days before the egg is ready there's more chance only girl sperm will be there to greet it.

Also you are more likely to conceive girls if stressed, someone told me.

kalidasa · 14/02/2012 10:20

And don't long distance lorry drivers have more daughters? and professional cyclists? Because their bits get a bit hotter than ideal sitting on them all day, and the fragile but faster y sperm die off leaving the tougher x ones. This could be a total myth though!

One of my sisters had a pattern a lot like my mother - similar pregnancies (very sick), two girls, a few miscarriages. But then her third child was a boy! So that sort of did for the theory in her case. I've had one v. early miscarriage and we're trying again so no clear evidence from me as yet !

iloveberries · 14/02/2012 16:46

aaaah, this thread again!! every couple of months it crops up and the OP always takes a pasting!

I have seen so many of these and I am in the camp who thinks prize has the right to post this question of course.

I am also TTC (any gender) with no luck at the moment and a part of me i don't like did read the OP and think FFS be grateful you lucky cow! BUT, Of course the OP is grateful and is perfectly within her rights to ask this question.

I have a gorgeous DS and had researched TTC a girl before starting TTC but it seemed like trying for a girl made conceiving any gender difficult and it forced me to examine why I wanted a girl and how I would feel if i conceived a boy. I got to the point where i decided i just wanted a healthy baby of either sex so we have just been TTC the usual way without trying for a gender. Now that it is not happening i feel so arrogant for even considering that I was oh so fertile that I could choose the gender of my baby.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand having a preference and don't think any the less of those who do try for a gender (when of course they will love either gender in the end). BUT - sometimes it's just not possible and trying for a particular gender can just add more stress into the already stressful business of TTC.

Having said that - if you read shettles and hazel chesterman phillips which I did you will probably come to the conclusion that trying for a boy is potentially easier so good luck to you OP if that's what you choose.

iloveberries · 14/02/2012 16:51

hi prize - recognise your name - didn't you post this same question back in dec?? Not sure science has moved on that much in 10 weeks!!!

farfallarocks · 14/02/2012 17:51

Yes she did, much better response on that one!

Original poster

prizeelliott · 14/02/2012 18:28

You recognize the name.... what is wrong with you people. I am truly shocked by the general attitude of many of you. Not entirely sure why this forum exists. Do you think it is a nice and positive thing to do to spend your time searching for things to write to make others feel bad?
?you're free to talk on any subject you like? according to the blurb ? I am not sure this is true.

Perhaps you don?t realise that I can see what you are writing?!!!
Have decided to see the funny side? bunch of mupets!

OP posts:

Northey · 14/02/2012 18:35

What on earth is wrong with people remembering your name? It's kind of a risk, you know, if you post under it more than once.

Original poster

prizeelliott · 14/02/2012 18:54

A risk... it's just the way people are expecting and condoning people being rude. Why should we expect people to be 'hostile' etc. Why on earth would anyone want to search what you have written in the past to use against you? Perhaps I'm missing something. Didn't realsie posting on here is putting yourself up for shit I could frankly do wihout.

I know I should just ignore it. But I actually feel quite angry. I wonder how many others have posted on mumsnet expecting a civalised response and actually left the experience feling a thousand times worse than before. This forum doesn't really do what it says on the tin.

OP posts:

Northey · 14/02/2012 18:57

Well that's a separate question from whether or not it's unreasonable for regular users of this board to remember your name from a similar thread you started on this board recently.

thepileofstuff · 14/02/2012 18:58

It is the way Mumsnet operates, Prizeelliott. At least be certain that the problem is not you. There's nothing wrong with your OP.

Original poster

prizeelliott · 14/02/2012 19:08

Thank you thepileofstuff. Get the distinct impression that the majority of posters are really lovely. Odd one complete bitch! Why ruin it for everyone. I don't expect to be treated badly to my face in the street by strangers, and I don't expect to be treated rudely by strangers on line. Just because it happens, doesn't make it right. Perhaps we are all misunderstanding the meanings and sentiment behind posts, and perhaps true emotion cannot be conveyed in this way. I do however think some people hover on this with the intention of making themselves feel better by being a right royal arse wipe.

Time for a glass of
x

OP posts:

CaveMum · 14/02/2012 19:14

prizeelliott, I'm sorry you feel you have been victimised, though I can't see that any posts directed at you have been offensive or contained personal insults.

Using a public Internet forum carries with it the possibility of people searching out your previous posts. Regular name changes are the only way to prevent that I'm afraid.

I don't see why you need to refer to any of the other posters on this topic as "bitches". Please bear in mind that many of the posters you have taken issue with on this thread are in an emotionally vulnerable place.

I say again, as I did in my first post, good luck with your TTC.

Northey · 14/02/2012 19:17

ArielNonBio · 14/02/2012 19:31

I have been TTC for ages and wasn't offended by the OP's question. She did after all make it clear that she realised it might not be to everyone's taste.

This person, however, has made me spit:
Isn't there an infertility board? Couldn't the people who don't want to see anything about people who can conceive just go on there? with its superior little undertones about being someone who actually can conceive. Perhaps it wasn't what the poster intended. Perhaps but maybe it was.

I don't think the Conception topic should be limited to those who are having trouble conceiving, but a little bit of thoughtfulness goes a long way. Similarly those who are having trouble conceiving shouldn't go around looking for offence when clearly there was none intended. I'm saying this as someone who has just had a very challenging weekend with my family all cooing over my sister's baby, a pregnant cousin, and the period from hell.

OP, I think you should just try and conceive a baby. Good luck.

MadameBoolala · 14/02/2012 19:38

Yeah, that one struck me as well Rie.

Can all the barrens please just stick to their own board please, FGS?

MadameBoolala · 14/02/2012 19:38

ArielNonBio · 14/02/2012 19:39

CaveMum · 14/02/2012 19:40

[gives secret barren old hag hand signal to Boo and *Ariel]

MadameBoolala · 14/02/2012 19:41

NoMoreMarbles · 14/02/2012 19:41

see now prize, i supported your OP and so did quite a few others despite the majority (me included) having less than the luxury of choice when it comes to TTC. But your subsequent posts are quite a bit different and make you sound quite bitter and angry. admittedly there are a few posts with the tone of bitterness to them but non came on here to outright insult and upset you as you clearly didnt intend on doing with your OP. YOU however have now insulted alot of posters with your woe is me posts and started to have a go at a person who was defending your right to post what you did in this forum (berries). hardly fair considering what you are complaining about...

this forum can be like a baptism of fire depending on your first post (or if you dive right into AIBU) and it isnt for everyone but i have been here for nearly 7 years and i have found it an unending resource of wonderful support and advice and jampacked with fantasically witty and lovely people! dont tarr the forum with the brush of a bad thread experience as you will miss out on a hell of a lot.

iloveberries · 14/02/2012 19:45

calm down prize!! I don't know why you got so cross that i remembered your name??! It was simply because as someone who had read up on TTC a particular gender in the past it is always a topic which i find interesting and when i saw it again it rang bells for me..... Not sure what your issue is with this! If you read my post I wasn't having a go at you or what you were posting, i think you have every right to post your question in the 'conception' topic - i was just saying I didn't understand why you were asking the same question.

BUT - if having a DS is so important to you that you are thinking and posting about it a lot then maybe you should stop at 3DDs as it would be a shame to be disappointed.....

Good Luck with whatever you decide

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