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Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

984 replies

Whatevertheweather · 13/01/2012 21:28

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope.

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fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 12:48

miasmum I second wtw and angel you are one of us, we all have had differnet experiences but we have one big thing in common our babies have died, and we are all here to support each other in the life after, whether it be ttc, trying to get through a pg or trying to raise our other children.

I've just been into town and couldn't help myself as they were only a pound in savers, I bought myself some pg tests. Its a downward spirial from here as I wasn't going to by any till monday.

blizy · 09/02/2012 13:41

miasmum Of course you should be here, we have all gone through the horrible loss of children. Like fan says, we are all here to support each other. Please don't censor your talking about Mia, she is part of who you are and always will be.

fan Step away from the tests! Grin

spilttheteaagain · 09/02/2012 13:41

miasmummy of course you belong here. As the others have all said, we've all got different stories but the thing in common is that we've lost our much loved and wanted babies, however old they were. And please don't feel you can't talk about Mia, I love hearing about her too.

blue glad you are feeling better Smile

fan if you want to make yourself wait til Monday can you give the tests to DH and ask him to hide them from you?
I understand how the damn things can call to you from the drawer!!

fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 13:48

I think I will be ok, I feel very AF today, its CD27 today. I just couldnt resist buying them though because they were a pound for 3. Bargin!
I will be putting them away in the bathroom, for testing on monday or tuesday.
I think after my other times of testing and then Af to turn up half an hour later because I tested on af due date have stopped my inclination to test early. I will wait untill I am late a day or two and then test really hoping this is like a semi promise to you lot and everything so I dont cave on saturday or sunday

CheeseandGherkins · 09/02/2012 14:54

Hi everyone, sorry for being absent but we've been spending all our time between the hospital and home with the dcs, it's around a 15 min drive usually but took us 45 mins in the snow the other evening! I'm so knackered as I'm expressing every 3 hours day and night but loving every minute. Cannot wait until Ella is home with us though.

She's doing really well, she was initially on so many wires, cpap, tube fed glucose for the first couple of days (she's now on milk via a tube), cannula, oxygen, heat regulator etc but is now off a lot of those. She pulled her cannula out last night and as her infection levels came back fine they've stopped her anti biotics and didn't put a new one in. She has a long line in at the moment too as she was having some extra fluids, sugars and some fats put into her and they said it could irritate her if they did it through a normal cannula.

She's lovely though and I still cannot believe she is actually here! The induction with her was stopped after the first lot of gel, I think they gave me 1mg on the Thursday evening and then nothing happened so I ended up going home Friday afternoon as they said scbu didn't have a bed for her. Well, Friday evening I started having contractions. At the time I was in some huge denial and put the pains down to just braxton hicks/false labour so I tried to sleep and just relax. All night the pains carried on every 5/6 mins which woke me up and by the morning they were getting worse. They weren't unbearable though and I kept telling myself that I couldn't have her Friday night as they didn't have space for her but I was due back in Sat morning as they thought they'd have space then so I was trying to hold out!

I woke dh at about 3am to say I was hurting but it seemed ok and then again at around 7am, he thought I was in labour and tried getting me to go in but I was having none of it. I really thought that nothing was happening and didn't want to go in to hospital for them to say I wasn't dilated at all and then having to stay in. Eventually I got up and had a bath, dried my hair and did my make up lol, I laugh at that now as I was actually in proper labour and having pains every 5 mins. So we left home and they were coming every 3 mins or so and I was really struggling to get through each one, I couldn't talk, move and barely breathed through them and just held onto dh's hand or the car door.

Got to hospital about 10.30 and they put me on a monitor. I wasn't in constant pain but she saw me have a contraction and I said it was really hurting and asked about pain relief. She said she could check me and I was starting to get shaky (sign for me that it's around transition usually). She checked my cervix and said scbu won't be pleased as I was 7cms with bulging waters!

I got some gas and air and she rushed off to make some phone calls to scbu and told me not to push or do anything! Dh was very shocked and could barely believe it as the midwife told him she was coming soon :o Everything happened quickly after that and I started feeling an urge to push. I had a few more contractions and I really felt like pushing. Midwife was back and saw me then called for them to get a paediatrician now. My waters broke everywhere as I pushed, there was a load of fluid which went all over the place, including some on dh. A couple more pushes after that and she could see her head, I had to start panting and then her head was born shortly followed by the rest of her. All throughout all I could think was that I hoped she was ok, I wasn't overly bothered by the pain I was concentrating on hearing her heartbeat and kept asking if she was ok.

I remember it feeling like forever between contractions as I was pushing her out. She was op (back to back) and didn't turn at all, came out face upwards. No tears or cuts for me and I got to hold her right away for a little while before she had to be checked over and then taken to scbu.

I was, and still am, so relieved and happy that she arrived safe and well. I've recovered really well and was having a shower about an hour after the birth and walked to scbu to see her just after that. I came home the same evening and have felt absolutely fine since, touch wood. The only pain has been the afterpains which have gone now but were quite bad at first so I took calpol.

I'm going to try and catch up and post as I go, I won't have time now as we're off back to the hospital soon and I need to express again first and sort the dcs out etc. I've been so tired but I've been thinking about you all and will try and catch up as soon as I have some spare time and energy!

xx

fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 15:10

Oh cheese its so good to hear Ella's story, Im welling up. Im so glad she is doing so well. Cant wait to see some pic's.

Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 15:12

Oh Cheese what a lovely lovely birth story. Made me a bit teary (in a good way!) Check you out getting all the way to 7cm's and not realising Grin I've seen the pics on fb she is so so beautiful, her skin looks so soft and strokeable. She sounds like she doing really well, I hope you get to take her home really soon. Congratulations to you all again - you did it Smile

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spilttheteaagain · 09/02/2012 15:21

Aaw cheese what an amazing birth story, so beautiful. Can't wait to see pics, let us know if you put any on your MN profile. Love to you all, hope she's home very soon xxx

blizy · 09/02/2012 15:50

Fantastic to hear your birth story, I'm really glad Ella is doing well! I am so, so happy for you and your family. X

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 09/02/2012 16:10

Cheese, so lovely to hear from you and hurray for baby Ella doing so well. She sounds really feisty, pulling her canula out.

ciwi · 09/02/2012 16:18

Hi everyone,
cheese good to hear from you and glad that Erin is doing so well, pics would be lovely x
miasmum just echoing what everyone else has said, you do belong here, we all have different experiences but like the others have said, we have all lost precious children x
blue glad you are feeling a bit better, ttc is so hard in our situations I really hope you and the others who are ttc get lovely bfp's very soon x
fan fx for you x
Sorry if I have missed anyone out, I am feeling quite stressed. I have protein in my urine and my bp is up slightly. I am going in again tomorrow for another check but only at my request. I feel like they are not taking things seriously enough, don't see the consultant till Tuesday and this can't be brought forward as he isn't in until then. I am just so scared that it is pre eclampsia again. I had a scan yesterday and baby is fine, blood flow is good and everything. I just really need reassurance and I feel that only the consultant can provide that. Tuesday seems so far away.

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 09/02/2012 21:20

Ciwi, how many pluses were there in your urine? Maybe when it is tested in the lab they will discover that it's just a contaminated sample. At least you know the baby is fine and the blood flow is good, which must be reassuring. FX for a good check tomorrow with lower bp and no protein. Tuesday will be here soon and then the consultant can check you over, but you do always have the option of going in for a trace if you're worried. LO will be absolutely fine!

Miasmum, you do belong here! Your experience was different but no less devastating and brings with it many of the same fears for a new pregnancy. I hope the inquest goes as well as possible and doesn't upset you too much.

Fan, are you staying away from the tests?

fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 21:44

too I am staying well away from the tests. I've kept myself very busy tonight, just got back from my nans and did the washing up and hoovering and have just sat down for a bit before I go to bed (I'm a go to bed early kinda girl, also I get up early)
I do have a pain running throuh my boob and have had for the past half hour, also I am tired. But I'm determined to stick it out till at least CD31 which is monday.

ciwi good luck lovey, I'm sure everything is fine, its like sometimes we can't let ourselves think that its ok because of what happened before. As too said if you are worried go to the hospital a get a trace or see if the midwife will dip your urine again sooner for you to put your mind at rest. How many weeks are you now?

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 09/02/2012 22:17

Thank you all for your nice words to me, and for saying I can talk about Mia here too. I do have a lot of fears about trying to get pg again.

cheese thank you so much for sharing Ella's birth story. Very impressed at your bravery with the dilation!! And despite the fatigue, it sounds like you are enjoying those magical first few days. So very happy for you.

ciwi I think you are totally justified in going in tomorrow. Wanting reassurance is perfectly understandable.

fan you sound very determined to stay away from those tests...

blue yes, it would be lovely to have BFPs together. FX for us and everyone else here on the ttc journey.

AngelGeorgie · 09/02/2012 23:00

Cheese huge congrats xxxx
Ciwi xxx hugs xxx I remember that feeling towards the end of thinking I'd never make it through the days to my next appt.
Hope everyone is well & surving the crap weather???
Phebs is fine had her 3 rd lot of injections earlier this week.she's getting stronger all the time & taking a lot of interest in her surroundings now.I had to buy some nursery rhyme books as I found I was singing to her & totally making rhymes up as couldn t remember the words!!! She was not impressed!!
I ve had 2 steriod injections today to try & ease my carpal tunnel syndrome as it's really becoming quite debilitating so fx it works.Ant has a tempary job for the next 10 months starting next Tuesday , thank god. It's been good having him home but I ve had enough now !!! We re a couple who function better apart!!!!Grin
Love to all xxx

fanjodisfunction · 10/02/2012 07:46

I hate symptoms! I still have a hurty left boob (why just the one?) I feel sick, I have a headache but I also have slight cramping (so half getting my hopes up and half thinking AF is turning up early!)
So then I start thinking sinister thoughts of why only one boobs would be hurting? I guess though if AF does turn up and the hurty boob is still there then I should visit the doc's.

Hope u are all well this morning and not snowed in, if we did get any here its disappeared already! Damn!

ciwi · 10/02/2012 09:15

too I only had one plus but the lab result was abnormal so that's when I Started the freak out. Going to the day ward today for another check so think I will ask them to do a trace while I am there. I just know how quickly pre eclampsia can escalate and I suppose that's what I am worried about. Still, am a day closer to Tuesday now so I am sure I will make it to then without losing my mind.
fan I hope they are pg symptoms, I wouldn't worry about just having one sore boob, I have often had it where one is worse than the other x
No snow here, hope it stays that way, I get too scared to go out in the snow in case I fall over! It's cold though. Off to have some jam on toast and a cuppa, it is nice being off work :)

blizy · 10/02/2012 09:46

ciwi I hope you have clear results today and that Tuesday comes along quickly. Hope all is ok.

angel Ouch to the injections! Hope it clears soon. Poor Pheobe with her injections, how is she?

fan Don't worry I often have one sore boob around af time. I really am praying that you get your bfp this month.x

AngelGeorgie · 10/02/2012 10:06

Blizy Phoebe is fine.thanks.she screams the place down intially , has some Calpol at home,sleeps for a few hours then shes fine. My injections were fine after having had 2 hormone injections a week for 14 weeks with both Georgie & Phebs ( oh & 2 steriod injections at the end) these were nothing!!! I m a toughie!!! Love to you. Hope you re ok?
Morning all hope everyone is well? Xx

Whatevertheweather · 10/02/2012 10:15

Morning all,

Ciwi best of luck at your check up today. Hope the + protein was a blip and that your bp is down again. How many weeks are you now?

Fan fx this weekend goes speedily for you and without AF appearing. It's funny how symptoms change with Katie and Erin my first sign was that my boobs were killing me, this time they haven't hurt once. Am very impressed you've resisted the tests Smile

Angel that's fabulous news that Ant has found a job so quickly Grin Hopefully it will lead to a permanent position. Bless Phebs I always found it hard taking K for her injections.

I'm still full of cold so am back in bed with a hot ribena. Dp was trying to convince me to take some paracetamol this morning but I'm too paranoid 'just in case'. Probably being silly as I took it occasionally with K and E but I am much much more cautious about this pregnancy.

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Whatevertheweather · 10/02/2012 10:25

Just got my nuchal and dating scan date through it's not until 1st March when I'll be 13+1 Sad Gutted to have to wait a whole extra week really thought I had less than 2 weeks to get through.

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fanjodisfunction · 10/02/2012 10:48

wtw that is a bit gutting I think my last nuchal scan was at 13 weeks. But really its not to long to wait, at least you have a date now and can work towards it. Paracetamol is fine when pg, but if you feel better not taking it then dont, there has to be some home made stuff you can take that will help with a cold, my nan swaers by eating a curry? Or try drinking orange juice to increase your vit c intake. Or maybe go out in the cold air for a little walk round the creek, wrap up warm but it might help clear your head and nose a bit. Hope you feel better soon.

Ok both boobs are a bit sore now but still mostly the left and Im having crampy feelings, but we shall just have to see. I did have a little thought that I couls do a test as I have three, but I know even if I was it may still be to early, best to wait till AF is overdue.

My bff is convinced I am as she had a dream that me and my DH would tell her together, and she down in this area this coming week due to half term (she lives in london, family live here) so shes convinced when she comes over next week, me and DH will tell her we are pg, lol.

ciwi · 11/02/2012 11:06

Morning and happy weekend everyone,
whatever it's a shame you have to wait another week, a week can feel like a lifetime sometimes. Any chance you can ring up and see if you can get it brought forward?
fan I am really hoping that this is your month, are you managing to stay strong and away from the pee sticks?
angel yay for dh's job, does that mean your holiday is back on?
Hi everyone else x
I went in for monitoring yesterday, bp still borderline and still one plus protein so they sent bloods off and I am going back on Tuesday before the consultant appointment for another profile. I am 35+1 today and I am really hoping the consultant will agree to 37 weeks, that way I have less than 2 weeks to go eeek!

AngelGeorgie · 11/02/2012 18:31

Ciwi hope you get your wish for a delivery at 37 weeks. Xx
Holding off at booking a holiday at the moment just in case this job doesn t pan out but may book it in a couple of months.
Been out to a new Chinese buffet in our local town for valentines ( as my hubby going to a football match on valentines night!!!) was lovely Phebs is so well behaved.
It's so cold though!!! Hope all are well? Xx

Whatevertheweather · 11/02/2012 23:02

Ooh Ciwi you are so close now!

Any sign of AF today Fan? Really hope not. Took your advice yesterday and had a blast round the creek before I got K from school Smile

Sounds like a lovely evening Angel Glad Phebs was well behaved Smile

Valentines day has not registered with me this year at all Blush Dp still being fairly distant so expect it will be a non event in our house. Watched Ella Enchanted with K this eve and was thinking about your lovely dd's Blue and Cheese

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. -7 here atm according to weather app, brrrr!

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