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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

984 replies

Whatevertheweather · 13/01/2012 21:28

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope.

OP posts:
fanjodisfunction · 08/02/2012 07:55

miasmum big hugs to you. You may have posted before and I hope you don't mind me asking but why did mia die, did you get any answers?

I'm symptoms are stacking again but I'm trying not to think about it, but its hard not to CD26 a feeling a bit sick and have a headache again.

razzdazz · 08/02/2012 08:25

It is strange you no ladies, how when faced with such loss your mind and heart wish for so many things. I can remember wishing that Thomas had got to term and lived even for a couple of hours as then I would have been able to take so much more away with me. It feels like such a selfish wish as the pain he would have suffered if that had happened would have been awful and none of us would ever knowingly put our children through it. I knew all of that but still wished for those few hours, just really wanted to smell him and remember. He was, even that early, the image of ds1 and the 4d scan the other day was the image of him. Maybe I see what i want/need to see but it does bring me comfort. I have cried so hard for you this morning too.

fan, do you have a tiny good feeling about this month?? Do you usually get a sick feeling before AF?? My biggest sign before a BFP is usually the strong (awful) smelling urine!! All bendy things crossed for you.

Has anyone heard from mel lately?? Just hoping she is ok really and things are progressing well.

Hello to everyone else Smile

fanjodisfunction · 08/02/2012 09:06

razz sometimes I feel sick before AF because my fibroids become more uncomfortable and press on other organs. If I bend over for a while I get a bit light headed and feel sick more. If this continues with AF still turning up I might go to the doc's and see what they have to tell me about it. I do have a good feeling, we covered ov really well and also what with it being our five year and three year anniversary at the time of ov I have to think that its an omen.
Though last month I also had a good feeling, as I had worked out the due date to be my late beloved grandfathers b/day. But alas it wasn't to be.
I remember feeling like this both tims I've been pg, but the major factor of my symptoms before were extremely heavy and hurting boobs. Which I do not have, but then again sometimes I got that before AF anyway. Its a mess symptom spotting I don't think it works but you jsut can't help youself. My uterus does feel heavy and full but then again thays because I have fibroids.
I will just have to wait and see if AF shows up.

fanjodisfunction · 08/02/2012 13:03

blue how are you doing today?

Bluetinkerbell · 08/02/2012 13:36

I'm not too bad thanks! just want AF to disappear...

Kept myself busy by preparing a casserole to go in slowcooker and making fruit salad...

This morning I just lost it with DD and screamed really loud to let all the anger out... the poor little thing was petrified. Blush I did apologise and we gave each other a big hug

fanjodisfunction · 08/02/2012 13:57

blue I understand the frustration with AF, maybe you can just think of it as 'at least you know your body is working'
I hope your cycles become more stabilised, that can't help with your stress levels, I know when mine go hay wire I get so frustrated and angry with my body. I really hope this is your cycle I have everything firmly crossed for you and blizy

spilttheteaagain · 08/02/2012 15:12

Beautiful words too, fan and wtw about your babies. You are fantastic mothers xxx

razz I know. It's not logical is it, but I too know what you mean about the if onlys and the wishing for just a few moments where they are alive in your arms and you can hear and feel their warm breath and look into their eyes. I dream about Bobbie, and in my dreams she's always a little golden haired 2 year old with chubby little cheeks and an impish grin. No idea why my brain has picked that image but it has. And she's always grinning up at me with her arms stretched up wanting to be picked up. It's always bright, I always reach down to her and always wake up before I get to give her a proper cuddle.

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 08/02/2012 23:25

Had a horribly sad day today, and now AF has just arrived, half a day early. Sometimes tracking all this info about my body is too much to deal with...

blizy · 08/02/2012 23:27

Mias- I'm sorry af got you, have a hug. Hope you are ok and have a better day tomorrow. X

AngelGeorgie · 08/02/2012 23:42

Miaalexandrasmummy get cd 1 out of the way & hopefully you ll feel a little better.I always remember cd 1 being totally shit!!!
Love to you xxxx

Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 08/02/2012 23:44

Blue totally understand needing to let the anger out. I sometimes lose my patience with K and then feel dreadful. In some ways losing Erin has made me a better mother but I other ways worse. Big hugs xx

Miasmummy sorry AF got you be kind to yourself xx

Fan how's the symptom spotting coming? Smile

I heard from August on fb. Her 12 week scan went fine Smile She went on holiday the day after and didn't get a chance to post.

Been to monthly Sands meeting tonight. Always makes me reflective and a bit sad. There's a new face every month. Heartbreaking stories. I think I will make March or April my last one as I need to start getting in to a positive place for this pregnancy.

N'night all xx

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fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 05:55

miasmum so sorry AF has got you, ttc is such a rollercoaster journey that isn't a lot of fun.

wtw sypmtom spotting? I was talking to my bff last night about it saying how cruel symptoms are, I do have a few but they could all be because of other things or AF on its way.

Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 07:53

I agree Fan I was convinced AF was on it's way on new years eve. Fx xx

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fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 09:30

I'm wishing days away, wanting monday to be here so I can test, if AF hasn't shown herself.
I did take your lots advice and booked an event, its in october, am I tempting fate by booking something in nine months time? I hope so.

Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 10:26

Oooh let's hope so Fan Smile Did you see the few flakes of snow this morning??

Stupid stinking cold here - am snuggling on the sofa until school pick up time.

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blizy · 09/02/2012 10:28

blue and mias How are you both?

fan I have everything crossed for you. I hate symptom spotting but can't seem to stop! I really thought we had done it this month, My boobs were so sore and i was feeling very sicky/dizzy. It doesn't help that I seem to spot for a few days before af! My af was strange this month, I spotted for 3 days and had 1 day of normal bleeding then 1 more of spotting then nothing! I am not pg, I took a test to check.

fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 11:06

wtw I did indeed, its still trying now, we've got all the gritters out we've been given a warning for four inches of snow.

blizy it really sucks doesn't it, I'm trying not to think about it to much, don't want to get my hopes up.

fanjodisfunction · 09/02/2012 11:13

wtw I mean we as in the council.

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 09/02/2012 11:31

Trying to feel more positive today, if I can. Just feeling overwhelmed that it is two weeks until Mia's inquest, and feeling scared, and then getting AF on top of this... not very much to look forward to, and everything seems a bit hopeless and meaningless. Anyway, planning to keep busy and cross of some of the things on my to-do list.

fan Mia died very unexpectedly in hospital at 13 months. It turns out she had pneumonia (but no symptoms) and on top of that, it was discovered afterwards that she had an unusual bacterial vegetation on her heart valve, and she died of heart failure. Again, we had no idea about the heart issue. Because she was ostensibly so healthy, an inquest has been called.

But I sometimes wonder if I should be on this thread because my experience is quite different from everybody else here. I do find you all help me... and I try not to talk about Mia too much here in case it upsets people.

Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 11:32

Oh Fan that would make my day SmileSmile

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Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 11:40

Miasmummy of course you should be hear. It doesn't matter what age they were. All of us have lost our children even though all of our experiences are different. I enjoy hearing about Mia. I think we are all sensitive to each other on here. I worry about mentioning K too much, I know how lucky I am to have a living child, thing is she is intrinsic to my life as much as Erin.

I expect the inquest will be hard to hear and I think being anxious is natural. Did you see the BBC programme about them? Might be worth a watch on iplayer to prepare yourself. I am certain it will be handled in a sensitive and dignified way. I know when we got Erin's post mortem results it was evident how carefully it had been carried out and how respectful they were xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatevertheweather · 09/02/2012 11:41

Argh you should be here not hear!

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AngelGeorgie · 09/02/2012 12:03

Mia of course you shpuld post here that's what we re for. My circumstances are obviously different to yours but I did feel some degree of closure after we got Georgie's post Mortom results. Take care of yourself xxxx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 09/02/2012 12:19

Thanks for the advice and kind words, angel and whatever. And I think I will sit down and watch that programme together with DH, it does sound as if it would be useful.

Bluetinkerbell · 09/02/2012 12:47

Hi ladies! feeling much better today! :)

cheese has just posted some lovely pics of Ella on FB Grin for those of you who are on FB!

Mias so we're not far apart cycle wise... hopefully this month we can have that BFP together :)

wtw hope you feel better soon!

right must get some work done before I need to pick up DD from child minder... I promised her we would snuggle up on the sofa and watch Princess Diaries 2 together Wink