mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Hello Caiphirinas

I was thinking about you just earlier today (in a non-creepy way !) as I thought that it must be around now that you started stimming.

This is such an unpredictable roller coaster. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you that the situation resolves itself quickly - either by an extension of funding (are they really that strict ? Obviously they are !) or by draining the cysts.

Do something nice for yourself tonight xx

Hope everyone else is well.

Don't have anything all that exciting to share. Have got an appointment for our ARGC consultation through but it's not until mid Jan (actually - we were given a slightly earlier date - but frustratingly it was one of the few dates we can't do !) Althought it has caused such friction between us that I did at one point think we will have broken up before then (fortunately frayed tempers have now calmed down !!) DP is REALLY not happy about the emotional and financial commitment of going through something that hasn't worked twice ........ ! That said, he has no better idea of what we can do. I think we really need to just forget about TTC for the rest of the year (we plan to go on holiday for New Year) and have some 'fun' before we both go totally totally bonkers. This WHOLE year so far has been devoted to IVF ......

Oh - and I've pulled my finger out and applied to re-train in September next year. No idea if I'll get a place - but it's the first time in ages that I've felt enthusiastic about something. It was my Plan B in life. And obviously I'm still very much hoping that Plan A kicks in before then (if I'm lucky enough to get a place I'll defer entry for a year !)

xxx

Brightside - so sorry to hear that the stress is getting to you and your DP. I can't see how it could not, really. Good that it's calmed down a bit now though.

Caipirinhas - that's rubbish about your cysts. Really hope they keep your funding stream open for you.

I've just been to an open evening at the New Life Centre in Epsom, which is a bit of a trek from us but was very impressive. The doc there used to work at ARGC, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed he'd picked up a few tips. We got quite a good chat with him during the Q&A bit and he said that the first thing to do is immune testing, so we're going to bite the bullet and sign up for it all, hoping to get an initial consult and first batch of tests before Xmas. It's so bloody expensive though! Same price list as everywhere else - just hides a multitude of sins. I think it will end up being about £8000 for a cycle including the immunes. Tesco credit card for me, I think.

Apparently, they can manipulate my cycle over a period of time so we can schedule the main bits where I have to go in the most to fit in with school holidays, which I didn't realise. My boss will be pleased.

Hello all

Just a quick one :

Caipirinhas How are things ? I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Not Now Glad you've been to an open evening. I've met someone recently who has been going to New Life - and she has been impressed with them. I quite fancy it myself (but logistically it would mean driving there (as it's a complete faff to get there on the train) and it would then be impossible for me to get to work afterwards with a car in tow ....)

The Tesco credit card has been approved and I've sent back the documents they need. Just waiting for the card now ........ !

Have a good day all xx

Notnow New Life sounds good and fingers crossed you can get started quickly. £8k does sound a lot but it's far less than a wedding or to move house and could be the start to a family so it's peanuts really!

missbrightside what are you going to re-train to do? I love the idea of that but wouldn't have a clue what to do

I'm still waiting for news. The clinic called yesterday to say I should hear today so for now the plan is that I go in tomorrow and have the cyst aspiration. It sounds a bit similar to egg collection so I'm going to be knocked out. I really hope they funding comes through and we can can this go and start again next year. I really thought I'd be gutted to have to put it off but I just feel like I want a break and Christmas seems as good a time as any to have a break! Might also be able to squeeze in an exotic holiday before we have to start again! (sod the money, who needs carpet anyway!) (or maybe we could get a Tesco credit card too...)

I'm 'working' from home today but have been up less than an hour and am still in my pyjamas. Plan on watching a film too

how is everyone else?

Respect to you for the 'working from home' plan! Too bloody right. Really sorry it has come to this for you this time. Exotic holidays are calling you, I think. I also like your thinking about the comparison with a wedding or a new house. Sadly, my parents haven't been saving for this one since I was a baby. I paid for most of my wedding on a credit card too and have paid it off now, so at least I know I can do it. Thinking of you brightside - hope harmony is maintained. X

Back home after cyst aspiration. Will be spending the weekend under a duvet topped up on paracetamol.
Luckily the funding has been extended so I need to sniff for 2 more weeks and then stop everything and start again in the new year sometime. Frustrating as I was hoping it would be done and dusted by New year and that we'd know one way or another but at least we can have a fun Christmas now

Caipirinhas Am glad the funding has been extended but sorry that your cycle has been cancelled mid way. I don't doubt it was for the best - but frustrating nonetheless for you. At least December has lots of distractions - it will be the New Year before you know it. Hope you are recovering well from the cyst aspiration. Do stay snuggled under a duvet - it's freezing out !!

Not Now Yes harmony has been restored (for now !) - and thank you for your concern. I don't think the emotional aspects of all this shit can be underestimated !

Looks like we will (hopefully) all be at varying stages of IVF cycles in New Year. I think that 2013 is going to be a lucky year for all of us ......... !!! Well, it can't be any worse than 2012. I can't wait for this year to end !!!! We plan to go away for New Year (although haven't booked anything yet. Hoping for a last minute bargain !) Anywhere that doesn't sing Auld Lang Syne (is that spelt right ? Looks wrong !) is the only criteria .....

Right - going to the cinema this evening to see 'Sightseers'. The Evening Standard review for it was really good and described it as a dark 'Nuts in May'. That sold it to me !

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

xxx

Roll on 2013!

Just made initial appointment with IVF doctor - for immunes testing and preliminary stuff first before Christmas and then getting over the hump and actually doing it in the new year. DH wasn't very happy that he will have to do the semen analysis test again (there and then, in the loo next to the doc's office, poor man) but is manning up about it.

2013 is definitely going to be our year. Let's face it: 2012 has done fuck all for us so it can fuck off as quick as it can. Hurrah for 2013!

Loving my first glass of wine in over 2 months!

Help! Shag this morning or no shag at all if DH is having semen analysis on Monday afternoon? Guidance says abstain for 2-5 days but we've been abstaining for two weeks what with AF and my disgusting cold. Will his elderly boys be all dead now and need moving on for the good of the herd or will the new boys be too new if we do it now?

I was going to ring the clinic but they're not open yet and DH says he has 'jobs to do' and is not keen to hang about. It's more a case of 'hop on, love, if you're going to.'

Morning all !

Not Now Hope you haven't been sat at your computer since yesterday waiting for an answer and by now have gone on to have a shag !!! (for what it's worth I think you need to ... ahem ... get rid of old stock in advance of SA !) Also hope your husband got his jobs done !!!

Caiphirinas Hope you are feeling well - and that you enjoyed that glass of wine ! I've totally lost my drinking capacity due to IVF (not sure if that is a good thing or not !) After our last cycle failed we went out for lunch and shared a bottle of wine. I then had a couple more glasses. Lets just say I don't vaguely even remember going home .....

Right - we have booked a holiday. To the Canaries. It was totally totally not what we intended to book (every time I've been to any of the islands I've vowed never to go back again !) but it was the cheapest option over New Year that was near enough to go for a week and (should) have some sun. And at least the booze is always flowing. I was a bit when we booked it - but now I've come round to the idea. Who knows, we might even have some fun .... !!

But have just managed to totally depress myself as thought I'd be extra organised and start packing now. Went to a drawer where some 'holiday things' are chucked (chargers etc) and found a box of condoms with an expiry date of 2010 !! (actually got no idea where they have appeared from - I have been to that drawer since 2010 !!!) And am now dwelling that Christmas will mark 4 years of us ttc. God, bring on the mulled wine now ...... !

Also feel a bit depressed that obviously holidays were once all sun and sex. Now I'm more concerned where my kindle charged is ....................

Anyhow, must stop wallowing. I really need to write some Christmas cards (really can't be bothered - I have a very short exclusive list this year !)

xxx

Kindle charger !

Sorry - I have another moan ........ !

Despite DP being adamant that we should be upping our game and trying naturally he has booked a last minute golf weekend for next weekend when it is our 'key' time ........ ! Sometimes his stupidity makes my blood boil

Moan over !

xxx

Well, went for it in the end - 48 hours to go so probably was fine. We'll just tell them so they know the timings and then hopefully they'll be used to looking at 2 day old sperm (expect they're also used to looking at very old sperm from people who just can't be arsed any more too).

Glad you booked your holiday Brightside - a bit of sunshine is always lovely, even if it is in the Canaries (I've never been there - everyone I know who's been has raved about it, especially in the winter). Embrace the Club Tropicana vibe! A few cocktails by the pool should sort out your drink tolerance.

notnow hope your DHs fellas were up to.scratch
missbrightside a week soaking up the sun drinking cocktails in the canaries sounds pretty good! Maybe not your dream holiday destination but perfect for some winter sun!
I'm on my way home from a boozy Monday night in London with new Aussie friends, am fully embracing the 'not being in the middle of IVF' and 'don't give a shit about my job' life at the moment!
Xx

Hi ladies hope that you are all well. I haven't been on here for a few weeks due to work crap and have missed so much!
Caipirinhas I'm with you on the drinking and not giving a shit about my job... I went out dancing with the girlies at weekend and loved it,was great to not think about babies for a few hours and to know I could wallow on sofa all day nursing a poorly head without a baby to worry about!
Miss Brightside a week away in January (a totally depressing month) sounds lovely, just a tiny bit jealous...
Not now hope everything with you and DH is good...they really do dislike having to give a sample, my DH kept putting it off, really they should think themselves lucky we have to deal with so many situations in this whole process.
Xx

Glad to hear that some fun is being had! DH managed a respectable sample of the boys and was very red in the face when we had to go in to see the doctor just after. He was also quite shocked by the porn, which has apparently moved on quite a bit since he was a teenager

We had a nice chat with the doc who told me a lot of stuff I already know and charged me £200 for the privilege but booked in for bloods and immunes in January and should be able to go for the IVF in Feb, so am off the hook to enjoy Christmas before going on the wagon in the new year.

Hello everyone,

Myself Pearl, from India. I am 79' born and my husband n me are TTC from last 11 months and so far nothing happened. I was diagnosed with PCOS and was treated for say 4-5 months, which regulated my period from 35-days cycle to 28-30 days, which sounded a good news for me until last month, I was supposed to get my periods on 24 Nov but it arrived on 30th Nov 2012. First day(30th nov) it was normal bleeding and second day little lighter and on 3rd day that is 2nd of Dec, just some spotting that slightly stained my pad. Then nothing ..... I normally start to get cramps, sore-breast and sick 5-days before my period is expected. But this time i just felt little cramps exactly few minutes before i started to bleed. My normal bleeding continues up to 4-5-6 days.

I don't know what happened to me. I have been feeling very dizzy and sick from last 3-4 weeks, feel like throwing anytime. headaches, slight cramps on either side of my lower abdomen. Its 12-dec-2012 today, took a HPT, got 1 clear pink line and exactly from where the 2nd line should have appeared, I see pink spread as if drops of urine were more than it was supposed to be.

I am so confused now . i donno what should I do. I am feeling so disappointed. My last period was again 5-6days late, is it that my PCOS is still not cured????

Hi ladies,

I found you all a few days ago when I googled "TTC 2 years" and reading your stories really made me feel like there were some folk out there just like me...phew! Would you mind if I joined you?

Anyways, felt like I needed to post as I've just hit a bit of a low point!! I'm on my 26th cycle of TTC naturally and have never, ever had even a hint of a BFP - so much so that I very rarely test as my period arrives with annoying regularity on day 29/30 :-( but today (day 28) I convinced myself that this might be the month, even having little imaginings in my head of telling the other half and how lovely it would be etc etc so went to the shops, spent £14 on a digital test (it was the only one) and guess what "NOT PREGNANT". Jeezo, why did I let myself think it? Poo

We've already had some fertility investigations and everything seems to be normal with us both, but the consultant has prescribed clomid, which unfortunately I can't start until March as I have to have the MMR and OH away for a month in Feb. It feels weird to be preventing after all this time!

So, I remember one of the favourite bits about your thread is where you guys said some bits about yourself, so here's me:

I'm 30years old, OH is 40(and a bit!).
He has 3 lovely children from a previous relationship so I'm kindof a step-mum which has its ups and downs, but they are really wonderful and I love them to bits!
I'm a midwife...which is a busy but amazing job.
We don't go out much but enjoy staying in for lovely food and glasses of wine (which our fertility nurse said we weren't allowed - boo!!)
I think I like exercise, but don't acturally do much of it...love a boogie though so sometimes go to a dance class
Have spent most of the day trying to decide whether I should get an iphone when my contract runs out and/or an ipad, although I should probably start saving in case for IVF now!!!

You all sound like an amazing, funny, kind and smart bunch of ladies - this is a journey that I guess few of us thought we would be going on, I hope that it ends for us all with a baby in our arms soon! x x

Hello Pearl and Butterfly - welcome to the thread. Must issue the by-now standard warning before you get sucked in: it's not a lucky thread... We've been posting for about a year now and none of us are pregnant. Still, you've got to larf if you're going to settle in.

notnowImreading : Lol .... I am fine and will also be a part of this thread too .... lets see If I break the spell

Thanks for the welcome notnowI'mreading, I guess we can only hope that our luck will come in soon, and, like you say, have a larf in the meantime. At least, getting the MMR next week I've an excuse to have a super boozy christmas and new year as won't be ttc!! It will be so weird - might have to dust the condoms off (although we might just be glad of the break!)

Hope you're all well x x x

Hi all,

Thought I'd update you all on my latest news and hopefully some of you wise ladies can share your experiences with me to cheer me up...

Since I last posted I managed to get an early appointment for my pelvic ultrasound scan (thanks to a lovely lady in the x-ray department!) and the immediate feedback I was given was positive. She said there didn't seem to be any evidence of PCOS (as suspected by my consultant) and uterus seemed fine. Within five minutes I was out again to meet my patient DH in the waiting room. He looked expectantly at me, hoping for some answers. It felt weird because whilst I should have been happy that I'd been given the all-clear, it's just another test that I've 'passed' and we're still none the wiser as to why we aren't making babies!

Am going to see my consultant later this week for a review of results so far but not holding out for much. Have already been told that next step is likely to be an HSG so will probably have to wait until new year for that. All this testing seems to take soooo long.

Has anyone else been in this situation? My fear is that we will be diagnosed with 'unexplained infertility'. In that situation, do they suggest IUI, IVF or something else? I would feel much better if there was a bit more action and less waiting around for answers!

Oh and after a few too many drinks on the weekend (and an awful hangover), I've decided to refrain from drinks over the Christmas period so haven't even got that to look forward to!

Hi! Merry Christmas/Hannukah/holidays & welcome newbies - although it is officially the unluckiest thread ever ;)
Sorry I've been offline for a bit - just had 3 weeks back home in the UK, catching up with family & friends which was so so good but back in oz & back to work now :( 3 friends have recently announced their pregnancies - meanwhile I have no idea when we'll have money for another ivf round. Sigh. Pass the egg nog!!!
I'm writing on my phone do tricky to reply properly to everyone's messages but there's really no such thing as unexplained fertility - just we don't know, yet. Try not to lose heart. I was unexplained for 2.5 years, despite various tests, scans, HSG & tested foetal tissue - all 'normal'! But third & most recent Dr saw septum on scan & operated & I have pictures from op to prove a severe septum which has undoubtedly been a significant factor in our problems. Just proves what an inexact science this all is.
Come on 2013 - surely this will be our year?! This thread deserves a change in luck!!!
Xx