mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Hi Pugoff
I think they are recommended by NICE to offer more than 1 go but it's down to the area to decide. In Berks East we have to have been trying for 3 years and I have to between 30 and 35 and then we get 1 go.
We've been in the NHS system for about 12 months and have had 4 consultant appointments and a handful of tests.Have resisted going private so far as wasn't sure how that would affect our NHS IVF offer. If you pay for IVF, I don't think you can then go back to NHS but I may be wrong

Notnow Hope you've had a good holiday!

Hi Bumblejo - I'm just outside London. Are you London?
We'd been seeing a consultant for 5 or 6 months before they thought to do a day 21 test and lo and behold I wasn't ovulating! Made me so angry that we'd tried for so long when it was never going to happen anyway! Was fixed 2 months later by a double dose of clomid but I'm sure there must be something else, as not one sniff of a BFP ever

Maybe we should start a lottery syndicate so we can all give up our shitty jobs!

CAIPIRINHAS.. why did they take so long? It makes me so angry. Our time is precious as we are in our 30s.

I went to my gp after a yr of trying & they did that b test & all fertility b tests straight away (no scans though) Do you think its a cost thing? I bet it is.

I have new b tst forms..I will wait & see what the results say, but either way I want something done. I refuse to wait. Every day I wait I get older! also we can continue to try, but I need to know the next step is in place. The drs have been v chilled. Now suddenly they are concerned..What is next for you?

Do you find that every time you try something new you get a little bit excited?! Only to be hit in the face with a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! Negative pregnancy tests are bad enough, but now I'm using Ovulation kits & they're negative too. If I ever did get a positive on anything I'd prob collapse in shock!

Def do the lottery syndicate. Maybe at least we could give up work and live the high life!

I live just outside London too, Essex actually. The border or Essex/London. Work nr bond st 1 day a wk. Got made redundant frm my other place of work. I used to split my time between the city and central London. You? X

I live in Berks and my office is in Middlesedx but I'm in sales and most of my client meetings are in central London

Next for us is IVF... I've done 5 mths of Clomid and tubes etc are all ok. My cycle is often short (last month was 22 days) and I spot so reckon this is a sign of something. I have acupuncture and she hinted it might mean low progesterone but who knows.
I went to the doc after about 18 months, took 2 months to get our first consultant appt then have had one every 3 mths ish. Seen 3 different consultants too. Spoke to a GP last week as need HIV and all sorts testing before IVF and he was saying they've made a right hash out of getting my blood tests done.
I tried OPKs a couple of months and did get the odd positive - before the blood test that showed I wasn't ovulating too so don't know if that month was just a blip or what. I charted for 2 mths too which was useful but found that both thinks mean it is even more on your mind than usual.

Do you ever talk about what you'd do if it doesn't happen? I'd like to look into adoption, DG not so keen but - can't imagine not having kids, especially when we're old

I do get excited with each new thing that I've discovered and each month think that must be the key. Tho its wearing a little thin now. Good to know you may be able to go private for the early tests, just to find out what is wrong. I'm encouraged by that at least.
I've barely accepted that its a struggle to conceive, let alone what we would do if not. Prob buy another dog, which is in reality the last thing we want or need!

Am well up for a big fat lottery win tho. Hubby and I talk about what we will do WHEN we win it, instead of if!!

Caipirinhas I also live and work in mdx. We might even be neighbours

Hello everyone, am back from holiday and even have a (very slight) suntan despite sitting firmly in the shade the whole time. A lovely time was had, although not topped off by a BFP as I had been sneakily hoping.

We need to find out about IVF next, so will hopefully be able to get an appointment to start the ball rolling before going back to school (teachers, not children). Any advice about what to look for in IVF providers gratefully received - not sure I'm going to manage running up and down to Harley Street while teaching a full timetable, so guess I had better look into the local options. Don't really want to do it - was so hoping it could all happen naturally - but am taking heart from the success stories on the IVF threads. Sounds as though it does actually work sometimes!

Hi all

glad you had a good holiday notnow

My consultant told me to look at www.hefa.gpov.uk when looking for IVF providers. You can search for local ones and look up success rates etc. The nearest 2 for me were Oxford and Great Missenden near Beaconsfield but we went with Oxford as it does loads more a year and their success rate is slightly higher than the average.

Hope that helps
x

sorry, should be www.hfea.gov.uk

Hello all

Lots of new people !! Apologies in advance if I miss anyone :

Lesley - I'm sorry that I didn't say 'good luck' to you in advance of your egg collection. How are you ? I do hope that you were able to transfer your embryo on Monday. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to how many eggs fertilise in each cycle. It's all such a rollercoaster and I really feel for you xx

Caipirihnas - I've also now had to google what's in a Caipirihna ! I avoid anything with rum in it having had a bad experience with bacardi !!! Glad you enjoyed the Olympics. We also went to the athletics. Enjoyed it far more than I ever thought I would - really exciting ! Have you heard back from Red yet ?!

Not Now - Glad you enjoyed the holiday. Where did you go ? (or is that being too nosey ?!) I'd second looking at the HFEA website for statistics on each clinic. As much as I'm not so overwhelmed by our clinic I do think there has to be benefits in it being nearby. For some of the routine appointments you can be in and out in minutes (well, you would be at mine if you were seen on time ..... !)

Pugoff - I'm with you on getting dogs if it doesn't happen for us. We don't really have a back up plan at the moment but have (albeit not that seriously) talked about just getting a place in the country and filling it with animals (we currently live in a flat with no garden and no animals !). Not sure how we intend to finance our idylic lifestyle yet ..... !

Ruthie - Well done on giving up smoking. I've never smoked - but DP does and has (reluctantly) also got an e-cig. He did really well on it but has had a temporary relapse

Artesia - Sorry that you have to joint the shitboat .... !

Bumblejo - Hope that by now you have seen your GP. How did it go ?

Carrot - Are you me ? I'm also an only child and we also have an allotment ! Although, have toyed with the idea of giving it up recently. Our heart just hasn't been in it this year and we've let it lapse a bit. It's too big to manage just at weekends (which is the only time we can both get there) and the amount of effort we've put into it over the last 3 years (lots) really doesn't match the amount of fruit and veg we've taken from it (not lots) ..... !

Lolcbcb - Welcome. Never google 'peri menopause'. I did once and convinced myself that I was in it ........... !

Hopefully I haven't missed anyone !!

Had a day of medical appointments yesterday (I know what it's like to be an old person now ... ) That was another day of annual leave well spent ... !

Had accupuncture in the morning. Liked the woman who did it - so will try and stick at until through our next ivf cycle (even thought I'm not entirely convinced what it is supposed to be doing ....)

Then went to the fertility clinic for the immune test results. My NK cells are slightly elevated (I'm a bit cynical about this. I've never read about anyone having these tests and them coming back as normal !) so they will add a catalogue of additional drugs to our next cycle which we will start in 5 weeks.

Then went to the GP as have now felt rough for over a month. I've felt ill since our last cycle failed and initially attributed it to that (but apparantly it's just coincidence). Anyhow he thinks I've got some viral infection and so have given me antibiotics.

Right - sorry for the essay - must keep up more regularly - now must get on and do some work ............... !

xxx

Hi guys.

How many of us are only children??! I'm usually the only one. My DH is one too. Bloody typical!

I've not thought about what I'd do if everything fails. I think ill go with the dog option for now!

I went shopping yesterday & I saw a man dressed as a banana.. I thought about how most of us moan about our jobs & chuckled to myself! However bad things get I will never be a giant banana!

I know 4 people who have had fertility treatments. 3 conceived 1st time with ivf & the other 1 struggled for ages.. but now she is pregnant!!

Hope that gives us all some hope.

I have all my b tst forms. Can't do anything until I start af. Have a gp appt tomorrow & am asking for a private referral to get a proper polycystic diagnosis, can't wait for nhs scan.

Hope one of us soon has some good news. I never ovulated this month, never had sex much either, so def not my month for a bfp!! X

Hi missbrightside,

Yes it seems we are the same person, as we have also live in a flat with no garden and no pets and have a backup plan to sell up and get a place in the country and filling it with animals. The plan is to sell up and buy somewhere cheaper then use the difference to set up a small company, selling jam or eggs or iPhone apps :) or something. Not a fully formed plan yet, but one I enjoy fantasising about.

We've had the allotment for two years now, it came with two apple trees on it and they've been the best bit so far, but sweetcorn and marrows were a rounding success. We plan on filling it with fruit bushes though because we also only get to go there at weekends and permanent plants seem like a much easier option.

If we do move to the country and become self-sufficient we'll have to live on fruit.

Sorry you are feeling rough, hope the antibiotics sort things out.

Lol. The giant banana made me laugh bumble, though today I might have been tempted to swap places with him.

Both myself and OH are only children....
Its our parent fault!! They didn't sprinkle us with fertility fairy dust as kids.

I'm an only child too! How freaky! DH has a sister however he has been more spoilt than me!
I also have a back up plan to get a dog if the baby plan fails. But I'm not prepared to give up just yet!

Seriously freaked out by the only child thing now!

And..LOLCBCB I don't think any one of us should give up just yet. Although I am tempted to get a labradoodle ( as well as trying for a baby!)

I'm the oldest of five, so it doesn't always follow.

I am youngest of 2, DH youngest of 3 and all 3 of our siblings have 2 children

Either a labradoodle or a cockapoo

www.1petloversworld.com/images/cockapoo%20puppy.jpg

link

Ha ha now we are talking pets!
I look after my SIL king Charles when she's on hol and he's adorable. But they suffer when left alone and we both work full time. Maybe when we have kids we can get a dog too
How's everyone this morning?
Any poas action on the horizon?

Cockapoos are gorgeous. Anything spaniel are lovely. My parents used to have a king Charles and he was adorable! I have had a serious chat with dh and we are going to look into this in more detail after our holiday! Looking at havanese too. Very cute! This is not a baby replacement! Am hoping to have both at some point. Seems the puppy is easier to get though!

Hey LOL no news here yet. Anything with you?

What's everyone up to the weekend?

Hi bumb. No news from me. Have had this queasiness but to be honest I'm thinking it's pregnacare rather than anything else. Have decided to convince myself I'm not pg this month and write it off as first after mc. Sep will be my month I hope
I'm working sat (boo) then may look into buying a new car!

(Tentatively puts hand up) Only child here too!!

Cockerpoos are fab, and I love miniature schnauzers too. My dogs are totally baby replacements. Both hubby and I are guilty of carrying them round and cuddling them like babies. Oh the shame!!

Good luck to those having tests and appoints soon.

Just checked my fertility friend app and will sort of maybe be due af by Monday so may be tempted to poas by the end of next week but really not "feeling it".

Up at the in-laws for a long weekend, could potentially be a bit traumatic but started off pretty well drinking quite a large amount of pear cider sat in the sun.

Planning on booking Dr's appointment next week to see if I can start getting some tests done.

I love miniature schnauzers !

Our friends have a miniature schnauzer - super cute! We're also thinking of dogs as a distraction from the baby thing. But we both work long hours so the practicality worries me...that is until I'm on mat leave (ha ha - if only!)

No major plans this weekend - got to stop putting off packing up the house!

Btw - for those with imminent referrals, are you considering IUIs? It's what we started with & it's far less involved and expensive. It worked for us (albeit ended in mc) - we progressed to IVF mainly cos of my age.
I've got to wait till a week on Monday for tests but feel no different & that our chances must be super slim with just one day 3 embie to show for all those drugs etc. Our clinic prefers to do day 5 transfers except when you have one like us, they said we should have got about 7 day 3s from our collection if my eggs had been 'normal'

Hope you've all got exciting plans for the weekend & that we get some more BFPs on this shitboat soon!