mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

The work friend is a 'he' , his wife is the one that 40

haha carrot when I read your post I thought- Blimey do we know each other in RL?
My cycle was always normalish if a tad long- about 31/32 days and it's only the mc that has messed it all up!
I've not been in the mood for sex either and have only DTD twice since mc so I'm not hopeful. I had some cm but now I'm not sure what was going on. Have cramps today so could well be af
caipirinhas out of curiosity why the nickname? I know them drinks very well so was wondering why u chose it!

Lolcbcb just because it reminds me of being on the beach in Brazil drinking all day!
carrot yep, max 35.... That's in Berkshire East. cirteria I can remember were 3 years, no pregnancies, non smokers I think and between 30 and 35
We 4 months shy of the 3 years but the doctors have been good and said it's been 3 years to help us have a go before I'm 35

Eek. That's scary. I'll have to find out what the deal is here. At least then I'll know what my options are(n't)

actually I have just realised we were in Brazil and in amazing Salvador exactly 5 years ago.... sigh....

carrot you might be able to find it on the internet, I did

How old are you carrot, if u don't mind me asking?
Have u been pg and lost it or not managed to get pg at all? This whole thing is very unfair. It should be same rule for whole country!
Mmm Salvador is beautiful! I've once good absolutely legless on strawberry caipirinha and proceeded to puke for about 8 hours! After that I was never allowed to touch them

I'm 37. I got my BFP on my birthday, best present ever.
Remained blissfully unaware that anything was wrong until my 12 week scan which showed an empty sac and 3 days later the bottom fell out of my world (so to speak). I still take heart in the fact that it might be possible.

Oh carrot what's cruel thing! That's what I fear the most! At least I found out at 7 weeks so didn't have as much time to get carried away!
I'm sure it will happen soon. Hopefully for both of us
When are you do to poas? X

carrot my first & third miscarriages were mmc - the 1st was by far the worst though, as it's so unexpected & cruel. Be kind to yourself. Lots of people do find that they're super fertile after a mc though, hormones still lingering or something, so I do hope you'll get lucky with a sticky BFP v soon. Sadly, mcs do seem to add a whole new dimension to the ttc shitboat though....

caprinhas so glad you've got a good supportive Dr, hope you won't have to do IVF & a BFP will come your way soon but always good to have a back up plan just in case. 35 does seem crazy young as a cut off point, esp as most peeps usually want to try a fair while au naturale before trying interventions.

I was unexplained until I did IVF so in some weird way, IVF has been diagnostic in explaining why after 2.5 years there's still no baby. Mind you, even Drs seem mystified that I've gone from slow, rubbish eggs to rock hard, impenetrable ones. Bloody Idiot eggs!!

No NHS in oz but there's subsidised healthcare so no waiting list & a round costs about $3.5k, which I guess isn't bad but we've now done two round this year and are about to move house so I don't know when we'll be able to afford another round.

I maintain my view that for every year obsessing ttc, we should be eligible for a free trip to an exotic beach plus free cocktails! Brazil sounds just like where I need to be today... I find out tmrw if my 1 is still growing & likely to be transferable on Monday.

So had a look and in Surrey the criteria are:

the couple have been attempting to conceive for at least 36 months and the woman is aged between 23 and 39. (I will have been trying for 36 months when I'm 39, so I might just squeak in one round if it gets to that)

I find it odd that it's different in different counties.

Love the idea of a free trip to an exotic beach plus free cocktails.
Naturally these would now have to be caipirinhas for the shitboat crew.

Lesley Good luck for Monday !

Lolcbcb I'm not sure when I'm going to poas. Might leave it till early Sep if af doesn't turn up by then, based on previous extremes I'm not technically late until the 6th of Oct! Never done any opk so need to do a little research on timings, with up to a seven week window for ov to happen not sure where to start.

CaipirinhasAllRound how was the athletic? Did you go to Hyde park or Tower Bridge?

I spent the day walking in Richmond park and fried my shoulders. I burn myself without fail every single time the sun comes out. Seriously by now should know better but I'm always so frikin happy to see the sun I can't help myself but spend all day in it.
Popped down to the allotment and collected the largest Marrow ever, think it might be a little old and have rock hard skin but I'm quite chuffed that I managed to grow such a monster

Hope you all enjoy your Sunday's

Carrot your cycle is silly!!! Way too long. Bless you. Must be tough to resist poas every week!
Well I could technically poas next week but I'm too scared so at the moment I am planning to resist one more week (till25th) and see if af comes.
It is so hard to know where you are after mc
In theory I could be 7 dpo and had spotting today. Any idea what that could be? No other symptom just a stinking headache but that could be due to me trying to reduce caffeine intake!

Cycles are a pain in the butt.
Not heavy or particularly painful which is a bonus but so random I've no clue when ov or af will happen.
Here's a little sample from the last year:
35 - 75 - 32 - 37 - 34 - 28 - 30 - 42 - 77 - 37
I can only assume those longer than 37 I didn't ov and just "skipped" one.

Right... too late for this kind of things should be dtd not typing on my phone :)

Carrot I feel for you hun. Ttc is bad enough without crazy cycles. Have u been to doctors and they said there is nothing wrong? I was reading on another thread -(please don't panic) that missing cycles can be a sign of peri menopausa, which can happen from early 30's. They say you generally still have af for about 15 years once that happens so it's not exactly end of ttc- but I think they can prescribe vitamins etc.
Nothing happening on my front. Headache finally gone. Baffled with spotting yesterday!

Hi lolcbcb

Glad to hear your headache has gone. The spotting is weird, wonder what that's all about.

Which thread were you reading about irregular cycles? The more info I have the better.
These cycles are not a new thing. I didn't start until I was 16 and have always had these random cycles, but didn't start take notes until a few years ago. The Dr suggested I my have cysts on my ovaries but they checked them out after the mc and said all looked fine.

Morning carrot
Tbh I've been spending so much time on MN I can't tell u which thread! But I also googled peri menopause and it had a description of symptoms. But if u have always had it like this then it might be due to these cysts you mentioned!
I've now also read that spotting at 7 dpo could be implantation bleeding??!!!! Is that possible? Had it one day only. Does anyone know how long it lasts when it is that?
Since finding MN I've got bored of fb and seem to spend my whole day here. Is it just me? I'd like to think its not just ttc obsession. It's cause u ladies are lovely

It could very possibly be implantation bleeding, but I had resisted saying that to you because I didn't want to get your hopes up. The timing is right and it usually only lasts a day or two (this is based on what I've read on here but also on the week by week pregnancy guide on here)
omg that would be so exciting .... see what you did now ... my hopes are up for you !!
fb is dull mc dull at the moment. It's a nice change to have something else to obsessively check chat to people on. It's totally down to the nice people and the fact that we all have something in common, in some cases more so than rl friends.

Are you going to watch the oympics closing ceremony tonight. Aparently the theme is 'A Symphony of British Music' and includes the Spice girls, Take that, Suggs, George Michael and Annie Lennox. The first two make me cringe but you never know .. the opening was pretty cool.

Ooooh that is too exciting for words!
More spotting today. Yesterday was literally little specs but today def a little bit more just when wiping!!!
I so want to be one of those lucky ones who get pg straight after mc!!! Who cares about dates etc?! I'm scared at the same time. Must not dream of baby in my arms too late for that
I'm in Manchester visiting in laws and will drive back to London after tea so might have to watch it on iplayer tomorrow. Could be a good show. I did enjoy the opening!

Hi hope everyone is OK.

I got fed up of waiting for NHS appointment to find out how my Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy went, sorry not sure of the spelling, so booked a private appointment and got appointment very quickly, anyway the news I got from the appointment was not so good and rather upsetting, I was told in the hospital after the op that the news was good and that my tubes were not blocked but was told that I did have grade one damage to my fallopian tubes but that I could still conceive naturally, so anyway after follow up appointment doctor has explained that tubes are not blocked completely but tubes have got swelling and coiling, the dye would only flow through the tubes with pressure, and that my chances of conceiving naturally are limited as to someone with no problems, so anyway my next stage will be IVF, I don't really understand how it is possible for me to conceive naturally if my tubes only work under pressure? The doctor I saw was a little short, didn't find much sympathy there and was told I wasn't listening when I wanted to clarify things, was upset and was trying to digest the news, I think I am still coming to terms with it, its not fair

Really sorry to hear that ruthieruthuk

It's not fair that some health professionals don't seem to understand how upsetting this stuff is. Are you going to start with IVF straight away?

Yes going to go straight in for IVF, not sure how long the wait will be on NHS though, got a meeting on 22nd which we are going to attend which hopefully will help us understand it a bit more, IVF for beginners, and then nurse consultation afterwards I think, we only get one cycle on NHS as we are living in Leeds, seen that other parts of the country get more, seems a bit unfair

Hi All,

Permission to come aboard the shit boat? I have been watching (lurking) on this thread for a while, debating about whether I physically and mentally acknowledge my place here. But then all the talk about work, and putting your life on hold and not knowing where you are really hit a nerve. So here I am, sailor hat in hand.

I'm in my early 30s, been TTC for around 11 months now and so soon I guess we're going to have to maybe see a doctor. I haven't had a sniff of a positive but every few months I try a new thing, i.e. OPKing, temping, Vit B, increasing our DTD (to exhaustion) and now i'm running out of options to keep me positive that something will eventually help.

Plus I'm sick of stupid work. I enjoy my job, but recently my boss left and I was left running the show. I'm not getting paid enough to do that job, though I am actually very good at it but whenever asking about promotion its always talk of next year (which I was hoping would be too late - but maybe not). I'm stuck in limbo where normally I'd leave and work somewhere else or think sod this, i'll have a baby. But no...

Sorry guys for the introductory moan, there is no one in real life that I can talk to. People in work who would understand the situation, I don't really wanna talk about the TTC thing with. And people at home don't really understand the work thing.

What I was wondering, is the timescales of what happens generally after you've seen a doctor. How long does it take to go back and start tests?

oh pants - I've just looked at the criteria in my area and you can only get referral after 2 years of trying. Double pants - back to the arsing job then.

Lets try and be more positive, I have a lovely, slightly hyperactive husband, nice house and two dogs that are my babies. and I do like my job, just the lack of recognition that gets me down.

Can't think of any funny stories, but something that makes me smile is that my mom when seeing 'Cafe Nero' chains appearing in our local area thought with the weird typeface that it was called Cafe Nerd. To avoid embarassment me and now lots of my friends and family now all call it Cafe Nerd and I think my mom is none the wiser. No one seems to raise an eyebrow anymore when we refer to going 'for a Nerd'!

I'll go and sit down and stop whinging now.

Hi Pugoff

Sorry to hear you're having problems, its difficult but you are not alone out there, many of us are experiencing the similar problems.

Have you considered having tests done privately? We did and it sped things up quite rapidly, the NHS can be rubbish, they take their time, too much time! So we did some of the investigations privately to speed things up due to us being in our 30's, we found we could incorporate NHS treatment and Private treatment into our file, so we had the initial consultations plus scan, some bloods done privately.. then after these were done only thing next was to have a Laparoscopy, HSG procedure which we had done on the NHS as this would of cost over 4k should we have decided to have it done privately, so it wasn't cheap! Two years is a long time, and doesn't sound very fair, which area are you from? I've been looking into IVF, as this is my next step now and some areas do three NHS funded cycles and some only have the one funded, totally annoying and even thinking about moving to a different area so I can get the three if need be, but for the time being I'm going to get through the first one in Leeds which hopefully will be successful.

R x

Hi Pugoff, (Captain Pugoff?) :)

Welcome aboard, sorry you find yourself here.
The work apathy is such an unexpected side effect of all this.
It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one and hear others feel the same. Its like a mid-life crisis or something. Spending all this time working towards an unknown goal and now it all seems so pointless.

Hi guys.

Hope everyone had a good weekend?

LESLEY.. Whats the latest with you? I hope that ' the one' just may be the one! I have my fingers crossed for you and hope you are feeling ok.

In answer to your question i am 34, 35 in 9 months. We have been trying for over 2 yrs now. I am aware of cysts on my ovaries, but have been told by 2 seperate gynaes in the past, that i could be polycystic, but that i dont seem to have any other symptoms? I was told to come back if my periods became very irregular. When i asked if this would affect my fertility, she said 'why?' (this was before i was trying)

I used the ovulation monitor for the first time this month and all 5 sticks were negative. Its made me so down. I am having the blood tests when my period begins and another 24 days after and a new scan. I had the blood tests done a yr ago, everything was fine, but my thyroid was very badly underactive, so they put all fertility probs down to that. Its been ok for ages now and my thyroid consultant thinks its no longer thyroid related. I feel i am being fobbed off.. But no more! I will get all results and insist on a referral to a fertiliy clinic.

CARROT.. Love your story from your teenage years! I too am an only child and so is DH. Thats why we wanted more than one child. Now it seems even one is going be a mission! Ps.. The lost boys is one of the best movies ever!

CAIPIRHAS.. Hi. I too hate my job, am totally in limbo. Got made redundant and am looking for anothrr job, but the thought makes me want to scream. Thought by now id be working part time and looking after my child. Sigh! I have a mixed group of friends, but they are all settling down. Sometimes it is a struggle and nice to only be out with people who dont have kids. You get to an age where you are in the minority. Are you london based? Not sure if you said?

LOLCBCB.. Hi, sorry to hear your story.