mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Implant should be well and truly out of my system by now, it was taken out end of March last year and some people said 2/3 months before my body would return to normal, some said up to 6months but my periods have been pretty much all over the place really, Since having implant taken out I have had a brown discharge for about 2months at one point so I don't know what's going on but guessing something strange which is causing me not to conceive, I've also had bleeding after sex and thinking its been the start of my period started using protection, pads, tampax, etc.. only to find that the bleeding stops after a few hours and that my period has not appeared, always done tests to be on the safe side but they've always come out neg, my tubes are OK which is a relief but still not getting preggy which is v frustrating.

I've just stopped smoking, done over a week now, so I am increasing my chances, have started using e-cig which is pretty good! Not a lot of research been done on them though, smoking I know is bad if TTC which is why I have given it up, plus pretty much drinking too, only had half a cider this weekend instead of a few cans each night like I use to do, life become quite dull but I don't care! Nicateen, can it be a problem with people TTC, surely its not as bad as smoking for real? I don't really know a lot about it

Aresia, is this your second child as you mentioned you were pregnant while hubby was sleeping away? Everyone I know has got pregnant first time round so I know how you feel, you just feel like saying what have you got that I haven't, friend has already got one child and is starting trying for another next month, I'm dreading it as I have a feeling she is going to fall on straight away then where does that leave me?? I can't not see her but its going to tear me apart, I will just have to be strong

and people say stop thinking about it and it will happen, easy for them to say that tried 1 month and fell preggy straight away, stop thinking about it, errrrm, how!!!

Hi everyone
Lesley I am addicted too! Have ticklets for the athletics and volleyball tomorrow and am very excited!
RuthieRuth and Artesia welcome! Although sorry that you're having to join...

I'm really struggling today. AF arrived yesterday on day 22... I've kind of given up hoping to get pregnant each month but for some reason I had a tiny amount of hope this month and am loads more disappointed than I have been for ages. It's been compounded by numerous calls between my local GP, consultant and the fertility unit we've been referred to to try and find out what blood tests I need before our IVF appointment, when I need them, if they want to take clomid this month or not as will it affect the results (still don't know the answer to this one - anyone?)
My head feels like it's filled with 50% conception stuff, 40% feeling sorry for myself, 9% trying to get more tickets for the Olympics and 1% work.

ruthieruth I am ttc#2 - just reread thread title and realised am an interloper as is for those ttc#1. Is tough though, as is #1 for DP, and because I've got DS, he's convinced he's the reason it's not happening for us.

Is also gutting cos DS keeps asking all the time if he can have a brother or sister. I know it's selfish, but is very hard to deal with the fact that DP and i desparately want to give him one and can't, but my (very unpleasant) exH seems to have managed it so easily. All just seems so frustrating and unfair, but then I guess everyone on this thread knows that feeling very well.

Blimey! I drop off the thread for a week and there's an explosion of activity. Hello to the new faces - nice to see you, although obvs sorry you are here

I am still on holiday and am chortling with glee as the hotel we've just transferred to for our second week is about 100% posher than it looked on the website - it has wifi (hence my being on here instead of in the sunshine), cable tv with the olympics, air con and free slippers !

It's good that I am revelling in luxury as it takes the sting out of the fact that AF has arrived today. Somehow, sitting and staring at my (slightly chubby) tummy in a bikini in the sun for a week had almost convinced me we were going to be lucky this month, especially with the two eggs. Got to take my third batch of clomid starting tomorrow. Had a big chat about IVF with my husband yesterday and we both agreed we'd go for four cycles - so no more holidays like this one for us.

Brightside thanks for the schedule of an IVF week. The clinic that my consultant refers to is in central London and I'm in Chichester so it looks as though it's really going to be difficult with work. I guess I'll have to try to schedule for half terms and holidays, as I don't think the school will let me take time off as and when, and I can't arrange my own annual leave. That's really going to slow us down

One more week in the sunshine for me, then home to prepare for my horrid(ish) stepdaughter moving back in with us after a year with her mum. I did sooooo hope we would be able to get pregnant while she was away as there's been so much less stress. C'est la vie.

Good wishes to all of you. Must go to the beach now

Hello - Just a very quick one ....... !

Welcome to the new girls.

Caiprihanas Your breakdown of what is going on in your head is very much like mine ! I really really need to concentrate at work - and I can't !!! Have a great time at the althletics. I went on Friday - and really enjoyed it. I was so inspired when I left that I found myself googling athletic clubs when I got home (then I came to my senses !! - I do tend to get over enthusiastic about things). I'd also like some tickets for something else this week - but think I will seriously explode if I spend any more time on that irritating ticket site. Am going to Blur on Sunday - so am looking forward to that. Glad that you now have an appointment with your fertility clinic.

Not Now Glad you are enjoying your holiday. Enjoy the rest of your time away. Sorry that AF has arrived - make the most of the booze !

Right - hello to everyone else. Sorry for lack of personals. I'll catch up properly one evening.

Have a good day all xxx

Good Lord - have just read LouP19's other thread. What an astonishing and dreadful story. For those of you who haven't spotted it, her arse of a husband left her last week in a ridiculously military-style raid with a van and steamed off with another woman, all the while blaming her and being a manipulative arsehole. BUT the kicker is that the chemical pregnancy was not chemical after all and she is pregnant

Lou - horrendous times for you and I know you have loads of support on the relationships board, but can I chime in with support from us too? The circumstances are awful, but it is amazing news. Is it too soon to say congratulations? You're the first shitboat pregnancy and we're all behind you all the way. X

Blimey
LouP I echo what Notnow has said - really horrendous time but it's amazing that you're pregnant, brilliant news
I hope you're okay xx

Gosh, Lou P, what a week you have had. Have some . But what amazing news - congratulations to you. I'm sure that any feelings of excitement have been overshadowed by other events but do hope that you find some time to relish in what should be such a special time for you.

Take care - and let us know how you are.

xx

PS : And yes - you have the honour of being the first shitboat pregnancy !

I was thinking about you girls the other day and thought that - for no other reasons than the laws of probability - we should have at least have had one BFP this year !

I bit the bullet yesterday and have booked some accupuncture to start next week. I've had a handful of sessions in the past - and wasn't convinced that it was doing anything but wasting my hard earned cash - but now our next IVF cycle is rapidly approaching I feel like we need to throw everything at it .... ! Who knows, I may be converted ..... !

Have a good Tuesday xx

Hi,
Can I join the thread.
I'm 37, fiancée is 43. We've been together for 14 years and have been trying for our first for just over a year.
I fell pregnant almost exactly 12 months after we started trying, but three weeks ago I mc a few days after my 12 wk scan showed an empty sac.
We have been quite leisurely with our trying, I've not used any opk or done any taking of temperatures and I'm loathed to turn it in to a science because 'shagging for the sake of it' is bad enough.

The mc bleeding stopped a week ago and we've jumped on the wagon again straight away but I'm terrified it's going to be another year before anything happens.

I don't have any friends who are in the same situation, as, despite our ages, none of them have children and a lot of them don't have long term partners. So I'd love to hang out with some ladies that know how it feels.

I have

Wow.. So much has happened.

First LOUP.. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. From reading other posts i see everyone here is with you and i hope you can stay strong. It is amazing news that you are pg, about time someone on this thread finally got a positve test result. Focus on this. I genuinely hope you are ok.

NOTNOWIMREADING..your holiday sounds great, always nice to have a distraction, esp when af starts. Enjoy the sun and continue to have a great time.

ARTESIA.. Welcome! I agree functional sex is taking over my life. Sorry to hear your story.

RUTHIERUTH.. Hi, I get so angry when people say, stop worrying about it and it will just happen. How do you forget about it, when you need to have sex to get pregnant? You are not going to forget and relax!

CARROTWITHATWIST.. Welcome. Sorry you have to be here. I have a mixed group of friends, but decided not to tell any of them barr 2. Thought when i got pregnant, id just tell them the good news! Silly me. Its hard when you dont really have anyone to vent your frustrations to. Esp as it seems everyone around me is just falling pg.

CAIPRIHANAS.. Hi, everything you are feeling really hit home with me. It never ends and seems to take over your life, no matter how you try and not let it. How were the olympics? id love to go, but didnt manage to get tkts.

BRIGHTSIDE.. Let us know about the acupunture, ive never had it and am very unsure? However i wll try anything if its recommended! (obv within reason!!). Hope you are ok.

FABI.. Hope you are ok?

I went to have my thyroid levels checked and was told they are still ok to concieve, but the specialist is concerned that i am still not pg. Taking my age into account and the fact that my partners sperm is ok, also my thyroid is ok at the mo, i really should have fallen pregnant by now. Sigh.. Dr thinks i may have polycystic ovaries. This has been mentioned before as i do have ovarian cysts, but as i dont have any of the other symptoms, i was told not to worry.. Even though i said i was concerned re getting pg yrs ago, Drs response 'why would you have a problem concieving?' Now ive been trying for ages, all of a sudden i prob do have polycystic ovaries and now its a problem!

Do any of you guys have it? As a result of this i have been told to use ovulation monitors for 3 mns to check i am ovulating. I have decided to book an appt with my gp for next week as ive been waiting long enough. I want all the neccessary tests asap, as its suddenly hit me that i dont think ill be getting pg naturally. Sigh. If only id known earlier when time was on my side. Im scared to use the monitors as im scared that im not ovulating.

Anyway, i have booked a holiday, so would like to get the ball rolling now and sort the rest out after the hol!

Sorry for a very long post! Hi to anyone i didnt say hi to. Xx

Oh my Gosh, I have just caught up on LouP19 's shit of a husband but fantastic pregnancy news. LouP19, hope you're ok. Sounds like you've got quite a following on your other thread. Congratulations on your BFP. The best thing you can do to get back at your husband is be happy and move on with your life and the new life inside you. Fingers crossed for you hun. We are all here for you if you need anything.

Artesia - welcome to the Shit Boat. Sorry you find yourself here as well. And sorry that the XH is having a baby. Your time will come and I have my fingers x'd for you.

ruthieruthuk - have you asked about your change in periods? Can your GP offer any advice?
Doesn't sound quite right, but then the human body is a baffling thing! Glad to hear you have quit the fags, will
definitely help your chances of conceiving.What is e-cig? Is it a nicotene replacement or does it actually contain nicotene? I would definitely think it is better than actually smoking but Im just guessing.

CaipirinhasAllRound - Sorry AF arrived. Hope the volleyball and athletics are taking your
mind off it. I am very jealous of anyone at the Olympics! Watching Jessica Ennis the other night just
makes me wish I hadn't given up so easily when I left school (used to be pretty good at all athletics
events before I discovered boys alcohol! )

notnowImreading - Hope you're enjoying the sunshine, it is miserable here! How old is your step daughter?

CarrotWithaTwist - welcome aboard the shit boat! Also, sorry you've needed to join. Sorry to hear you mc before 12 week scan. Must be awful getting a BFP and having the sad news afterwards. Sure it wont be another year until you have another BFP. PMA and all that!

bumblejo - sorry to hear you might have PCOS. Aren't there symptoms to it though that they would have been picked up sooner?

Ladies, no matter how depressing it is that we aren't getting pregnant, just think there is always someone in a worse position than us. Poor Gary Barlow and his wife, I can't imagine what they are going through.

xxxx

I hadn't heard about Gary Barlow but just googled after seeing your post - how utterly heartbreaking.

How are you doing Fabi?

So sorry to hear of LouP's a'hole husband - hope your doing ok & huge congratulations on your BFP. Hope you're ok. Sending you cyber hugs &

Hi to carrot, ruthie and artesia - sorry you're also on the shit boat but hoping that you (and all of us) are not here for too much longer.

brightside hope you enjoy acupuncture - I did for 1st ivf and in run up to this the second round - I'm a bit sporadic with herbs but find the sessions mega relaxing & my chats with acupuncturist a bit like therapy so if nothing else it seems to help me manage the stress of the process. Let us know how you go.

bumblejo do you mind me asking your age & how long you've been trying? I don't quite follow why your Dr is considering PCOS. Will they be measuring your blood hormones? Have you had any ultrasounds as that together will help indicate if there's anything out of kilter. Hope it's nothing & your BFP is just round the next corner. Btw - I seem to ovulate most months (acc to monitoring at clinic for pre- treatment & iuis) but found those ovulation monitors a bit hit & miss, remarkably easy to miss your LH surge so I'd say getting your blood hormones would be safer bet.

notnow hope you're having a fab holiday!

caprinhas how were Olympics? I'm currently lounging on the sofa & watching BMX!

Going in for egg retrieval tmrw & nervous as all hell...

Thanks for the welcome fabi, bumble and LesleyKnope

I read through the earlier bits of this thread while stuck on the jam packed train home and thought I'd add my non ttc story.

I work in London as a Manager at a medium sized graphics company and wish every day that I didn't. I used to run my own company which was brilliant but took this job because I wanted to have a steady income for when we had kids. (pfft..)

I enjoy walking and generally being outdoors. Last year we got an allotment plot and I have become obsessed with it and love eating food I've grown myself.

Favourite colour - green
Favourite drink - pear cider in summer, whiskey and ginger in winter, red wine with any food
Favourite food - sausage and mash, spaghetti carbonara, rhubarb crumble and custard
Favourite film - Lost Boys - there are lots of recent films that I think are fantastic but you can't beat the 80's classics
Favourite music - I'm crap with music. I never listen to it. I think the guitar playing busker in Kingston town centre is pretty amazing. I like that Spanish sounding stuff.

I'm a bit of a geek and have played computer games since I was 11 (just a few years after the first one was made)

I'm an only child and so is my OH but through divorce and remarriage I now have two step-sisters, a half-sister and a half-brother. None of whom I've lived with.

Amusing anecdote ... tricky.
I'm certain I've done lots of embarrassing things but the best one that comes to mind
I was 17 and still living at home. My boyfriend and I had been getting jiggy with it for a few months and when my mum and step-dad decided to go out for the day one sunny afternoon, we took advantage of the empty house and ran a bath and
after a little frolicking, slipped down in to the warm water for a snooze.
Next thing we know there is a slam of a car door outside, I dived out of the bathroom, starkers and dripping wet, to look out the landing window only to cone face to face with my parents walking up the stairs.
The bf was swiftly sent home and I was given a stern talking to, followed a week later with a trip to the family planning to get put on the pill. The boyfriend only lasted for a year and my mum and I have never spoken of the incident since :)

Love your embarrassing story Carrot!

I hate my job at the moment too. Actually I just wrote a letter to Red magazine to say they should feature women in limbo! Everything they have in there is about inspirational career women, Good Life types who live an idyllic country life with their large brood and this month there's something about how your friend having a baby changes your friendship although the angle of the woman without a child is that she's happy she doesn't have one.
Whereas I think loads of us are stuck in jobs we don't like just in case we get pregnant, aren't sure about booking holidays, buying new clothes etc just in case. I'm also worried about how the hell I find some new friends as we moved here 2 years ago and know one couple (with a baby) near us but I was relying on making a set of NCT friends! How do yoou meet people when you don't have kids?? It just all feels like eternal waiting for something that might never happen, and as good as I might be at telling my parents, sister, friends etc that it's fine and we're planning holidays etc so we have things to look forward I am actually driving myself crazy!!!

sorry to go off on one at 8.30am!

On a more positive note, the Olympics were fab thanks, had a great day. We're going to go into London to watch the athletics on a screen either in Hyde Park or at Tower Bridge on Saturday night

Hope you're all feeling chirpier than me today
xx

Happy Friday all !

I think the work apathy has to have something to do with ttc.
Just got on with it before but now it just seems so pointless....

My boss is a fucking fuck wit. So I had to tell her about my mc otherwise she would have assumed I had been skiving off work for a week. Today she tells me "come on CarrotWithaTwist you've been back at work for over a week now you should have caught up with things by now." then when talking about me having to tell some of the staff their going to be made redundant "What you need to do is take a positive out of a negative and know that it's not going to be as bad as what you've just been through recently"

Screw you twatbag, I'm not using my mc as a motivational tool for helping tell people they are going to lose their job.

So looking forward to the weekend , started it with a carbonara (yes it has nearly raw egg in it) and a large glass of red.

Hope you all have good weekends.

Just googled Caipirinha, I've got to try one of those! Sounds yum

Sorry just a quick post as I'm in desperate need of some positive vibes - had ivf egg retrieval yesterday - 9 collected but just got call that only 1 fertilised - WTF?!? Apparently OH has rock star sperm but my eggs have hard, thickened walls & they couldn't break through :( Last time 9 out of 11 fertilised so this is a whole new nasty surprise. Fuckity fuck.

Sorry to hear that Lesley. Sending you cyber hugs.
Just having 1 is not nothing so hopefully that 1 will be the one for you.
If it was 9 out of 11 last time hopefully it means it can do that again

xx

Morning all. Can I join?
Even though you call this the shit boat you all seem lovely and cheerful
I'm in a very similar situation to you carrot - I'm 38, had first pg after being off the pill just over a year even though not technically ttc, then sadly had a mc just over 3 weeks ago at 7 weeks.
Ive now become obsessed determined to get pg again but am scared it might take me ages!
I'm on the so called wtf cycle at the moment. Think I ovd last Sunday but could be totally wrong!
Feel anxious and sad to be going through this! It feels very cruel to get pg and lose it. But.... Am cheering myself up and am ready to start again!

lesley sorry about your hard eggs but maybe that ine is THE one! I've got my fingers crossed for you. What's the system like over there, do you have to pay the same as here? My Dr told me that my area are looking to reduce their max age for NHS IVF which is 35 - I'm 35 in 4 months. He's booked me to have all the necessary blood tests on the same day knowing this might not give the best results for everything but he wants to make sure I get in the system as once I'm in I'm in.

lolcbcb welcome!
Carrot you definitely need to try a caipirinha!

Morning lolcbcb
I think we've met before. Sorry to hear about your mc. That's really shit.
We've only had a couple of half hearted shags since mine, but my cycles are all over the place as standard anyway (28-77) so I've never had any clue when or if I'm ov. Might try some opk this month but OH is not really buying in to the 'trying' and just wants to shag randomly and hope for the best. Wish I still had his easy going attitude

CaipirinhasAllRound seriously 35?!?
We didn't even start trying till I was 36!
I guess it's naturally or not at all then for us
A work friend has been on IVF for a while, he said the cut off age was 40.5 at their docs. She is now 40.5 so this is her last free try