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Conception

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IVF/ICSI/FET - any more for any more?

999 replies

jumpingjackhash · 05/01/2012 10:05

Hi all, we're about to start FET following an unsuccessful round of ICSI last year (well, we got the bfp, but then I miscarried shortly after Sad). But... time to get back on the bike and go again...

Anyone else going through this?

OP posts:
JosieSmith1 · 01/03/2012 13:59

Lizzie that's what I thought people might say. I think I'd look at my child and if I see someone else's smile, I'd be grateful for the opportunity some fantastic woman had given us, rather than sad. Thanks Smile

jumpingjackhash · 01/03/2012 16:56

lizzie, Josie, not forgetting it takes more than genetics to be parents of course! Smile

I'm back from my scan, which was a bit of a flop. My womb lining still isn't thick enough (5.4cm/mm?), so they've upped my oestradil dose to 4 tablets a day and I need to keep using the Buserelin. Back next Friday to check on progress, then if my lining is 8cm/mm - she referred to both! - or more I start on the Cyclogest (in addition to popping the oestradil) for 6 days, then they'll try the transfer. May be on these damn pills for longer than another week though. Bugger. Getting v bored with this now, just want to see some embie action!

Have decided this called for a posh hot chocolate and some posh choccy biscuits.

OP posts:
millymoo1234 · 01/03/2012 17:46

Jumping Sad to hear that today was a bit of a dissapointment - it's rubbish when you JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH IT! hopefully the drugs will kick in and produce the desired effect for next week. Hope you enjoyed your chocolate! I just munched my way through a whole pack of Thorntons Jumbles, and I don't even have a reason!

Josie not using donors at the moment, but I did see a documentary the other day that showed something about what happens to babies in the 9 month gestation period and there was a bit on there that showed that genetic makeup started to change even with a mum that was using a donor egg - it was amazing and quite breakthrough science stuff - but I'll try and remember the name of it in case you can still I-Player it! Saying all of that I totally agree that it's more than genetics that makes a parent anyway!

Thanks all for advice on counselling - I'm thinking I am probably going to book it in.

yippee - work finishes in 10!

ellangirl · 01/03/2012 18:12

Hi everyone.
Lumili and knackered good luck with your 2ww!
Jumping, sorry your lining isn't there yet, it must be frustrating just popping pills! Chocolate definitely helps, probably! It must be mm they're talking about with the lining, surely?!
Rakkers hope all went well today?

I had scan today at 6+1 and all looks good. Just the one stuck, which I expected and I'm happy with. Saw a little flicker of a heartbeat which is so strange when pixie was only 5mm long or so!

Hello to everyone I din't mention, and happy thoughts to you whatever stage you're at x

CareBear1 · 01/03/2012 19:22

Hi all, Ellan that must have been so lovey, hope you can start to believe in it now and start to relax.

Hi Jumping, we might be on quite a similar schedule then - I'm now cycle day 10 and they reckon transfer will be about day 21. What day are you on?

I saw someone on another thread recommend a Hypnotherapist called Kristen Hayward, and I looked on her website and there is a free 10 min hypnotherapy download for fertility - I've just been doing it and its lovely.

www.kristinhayward.com/hypnofertilityhowitworks.htm

And also, sorry if this is a bit 'woo' but I sign up for updates from Randine Lewis who is a Chinese Medicine specialist, and received her blog update which on such a beautiful sunny spring day like it was today seemed to really resonate with me and filled me with a positive warm glow so just wanted to pass it on:

Emergence. As we move from winter into spring, nature expresses the energy of emergence. The seeds that have been hidden under ground sprout into shoots, which emerge through the soil as the hidden potential is being manifest. This very same energy is behind the reproductive capacity of a human being.
The water element, carried by the kidney system of energies, governs our genetic and reproductive potential, and how it can be either strengthened into a strong push of emergence, or depleted where its potential withers before it has a chance to emerge.
What constitutes that hidden potential? According to Chinese medicine, its basis is a strong sense of ones innate being, that gives rise to the will to live fully and reproduce oneself in the world. Physical means to support these energies are through adequate sleep, rest, quiet, meditation, a warm foot soak in Epson salts, eating seeds, and nourishing foods like eggs with high potential energy, meditation and breathing exercises, and acupuncture that tonifies the kidney essence. The strongest way to nourish the potential of the kidney energies is to know oneself fully, down to the core, without any masks or roles giving us our identity.
These potential energies can also be depleted by too much exercise, excitement, stimulation, not enough restoration and sleep; eating foods with low potential energy like refined carbohydrates. They are also held back by unexamined fears, which can lurk in the depths and drive unconscious behavior. When we move into these fears and acknowledge them, they lose their hold over us.
Can you look at the value of your life without any roles, relationships, or external identities?
From here, the depths of your own inherent worth, there is potential for what can be. What emerges forth as your heart's greatest longing? Sure, it comes in the form of the desire to have a child. But instead of holding onto the picture of a child as a goal oriented pursuit, bring it into an embodied reality. When you feel the desire for a child arise, what does it feel like in your body? What is the direct, felt experience of what you think it will feel like when that desire is fulfilled? Instead of waiting for the goal to be reached (a stressful pursuit which depletes the kidneys and obstructs the liver), bring it out of the mind and into the body. Feel the visceral sensation of its fulfillment. What does it feel like? Unconditional love? Joy? Feel those feelings now.
Turn your vision within. Find the source from which these energies arise. Let your deepest fears be uncovered. Move beyond them, so you can experience the fullness of your heart's desire. Take it out of the mind, which will give it a picture, and instead plant the feeling in your body. Let that feeling guide you.

MrsMigginslovespies · 01/03/2012 19:33

I thought I'd pop on as I recognise a few names from the November thread which I was on too. Really just to say the very best of luck to you all. I've thought about you a lot and send lots of good sticky vibes. I had (amazingly to us all) a successful first attempt (REALLY not trying to rub this in, as I've been really sick over the past few years) so very emotional and understand exactly how it all feels. To give you faith and hope, I'm now 16+1 and am still stunned it worked and count every day as a blessing. Good luck and I'm thinking of you all. x

Rakkers · 01/03/2012 20:30

Boo to your news jumping but I know that when my FET natural cycle was going on and not behaving as would be expected I thought to myself that this was because the process was being tricky at that point rather than post ET and beyond...it was all because the process has to be irritating and I would rather it then!
knackered, congrats and take it easy on your 2ww... may it fly by!
ellan that's great news! Lovely to see a heart beat huh?!
Hello to the rest of you and hope that you all enjoyed your St David's Day!

Had my scan today at 6+5 and all looks perfect! Saw the heart pumping away and the buds that will become its arms... cried with joy! Discharged from my clinic now which is always a bit strange but it's all positive.

We are off to Centerparcs tomorrow for a weekend away with friends which will be a nice break... plus I have been promised some sleep time! Will check in with you all next week.

Waves to you all. x

Raspberryjam · 01/03/2012 22:14

Hi to all,
Just checking in and great news to ellan and Rakkers - warmest congrats.
Liked the sentiment in emergence. It really feels like a positive time of year when spring comes round - I definitely feel more optimistic about life in general.
Taking Norethisterone since Sat until next Fri - feeling positive . Had a relaxing bubble bath tonight.
Have booked an acupuncture session for Saturday - with a chinese medicine doc - will probably try to fit in some more later on.

Millymoo - I think the counselling is a brilliant idea - I used it before trying ivf last November and after it failed. The counsellor really helped me with things - I was exhausted and tearful after the session but it helps to bring out deep rooted feelings and helps you move on. Someone impartial really helps so I'd say to anyone just go for it.

Raspberryjam · 01/03/2012 22:35

Knackered and JosieSmith -just something you mentioned in relation to the counselling you were having - I suspect lots of people feel like they are not getting on as well at work as they would like - how the hell can you when you are already devoting so much mental and physical energy to TTC! - sometimes I think I have a just "coasting" approach some weeks at work - I'll still try to do my best but not to beat myself up if I feel I'm not doing as much as I would have liked - you'd be superhuman otherwise.
And not beat myself up when I NEED chocolate........................Hmmmmmm.

After none of the eggs fertilised last time ,I must have been on the sofa for almost all weekend eating biscuits, crisps and chocolate - especially Tunnocks caramel wafers Blush. Trying to eat a bit more healthily at the moment though.

JosieSmith1 · 02/03/2012 08:07

Yesterday was a rubbish day. I've fallen out with my best mate who's pg. She's been very insensitive recently, complaining about things like having the baby in her bedroom as she's only got a 1-bedroomed flat. Agreed it's not the best scenario but compared to being infertile and going through ivf with very low chances of success, I hardly think it's that bad. Anyway, she just complains about it in general, so last night when she texted yet again to say what a bad week she was having, I ended up telling her that it was beter than having IVF, text row ensued, and the last text she sent me was about how she doesn't want my sympathy (I had to laugh at that one) and how her life hasn't been plain sailing and neither has the pregnancy. Honestly, she's had a bit of morning sickness and that is literally it. I don't want to lose her, she's my only friend, but I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore, and talking to her reminds me of everything I'm trying so hard to get, and here she is complaining about getting it so easily! I'm worried our friendship won't survive, after all, if IVF fails for me, how am I supposed to go and see her with her new born baby 2 months afterwards?!

Anyway, sorry for the me me post, just feeling a bit rotten today.

Raspberryjam · 02/03/2012 08:49

Hi Josie,
I don't think she meant to hurt you, first and foremost. Your friend sounds like she is really anxious about the future and needs your support and as she said not your sympathy. I can understand that you feel really hurt as it feels insensitive.

I know I've felt like that when my younger sister makes flippant comments about getting pregnant with number two, but after a while and a vent on mumsnet I realised she didn't mean any harm and needs to be able to talk to me too. Otherwise a situation develops where you can't be open with one another and everyone feels they are treading on eggshells.

Wish I was as good at practicing what I preach, but I think you should apologise to her and tell her you are there for her - just that it is a very sensitive topic for you - if she is a real friend she will understand.

Don't worry - what you are feeling I bet lots of have felt at some stage or other xx

zeebee1 · 02/03/2012 10:08

Morning all! Sorry - no contact for a bit - i'm still down regging on the sniffs, now on day 29 of my cycle (been sniffing for 8 days) waiting for AF to arrive so I can start the pills.. COME ON AF - I NEED YOU NOW Wink

Been having some really great accupuncture over the last 2 weeks - with someone different from my previous failed IVF. He's great - very down to earth and not too "ying yang" - altho if you ask him about why he's putting needles in certain places he'll tell you the chinese thoguht behind it - so he's great. I left there in a dream like haze last night. He's advised that I take time for myself, deal with stress in my job in a different approach - Ie try NOT to get stressed out, do meditation CDs at home a few times a week and eat healthily and properly - he says that women tend to hold stress etc in their abdomens (while men hold it in their shoulders) and obviously this is bad for your womb area etc - lack of blood going to it to keep it healthy etc. So it is making me take life a bit slower - not rushing about - do more gardening, more relaxing etc etc.

Josie so understand your story of your friend going through pregancy and rubbing your nose in it all - she really doesn't mean to - we are just hyper sensitive I think... I infact had a business partner that became pregnt with her 2nd DC and I jsut couldn't work with her anymore - I couldn't be with her getting bigger and bigger all the time so I pulled out of our company whilst I was going through IVF - haven't returned yet (nearly been a year now!) Anyway I have a 2nd job so the money is coming in still - and it;s easier to work with more people around me and remain a bit more annoymous...
Hey ho - it's such a daily struggle isn't it. I met a very good friend on tuesday for lunch and she has 2 kids, and then proceeded to tell me how hard she was finding it conceiving a 3rd (!) I nearly fell off my chair with her lack of tact - she knows everything i've been going through as well - anyway I'm trying to rise about it and not dwell. She didn't mean it to upset me so much.

jumping sorry re your lining - still at least it's on the way to getting plump and juicy - won't be long now i'm sure! FET seems SO MUCH LONGER than IVF doesn't it!
rakkers & ellan CONGRATS - so happy for you and your scan news - what amazing thing it must be to see - a heart beat! Wow - I pray I get to that stage this time around... wonderful news - you must be SO happy
*mrs MG" congrats to you as well - 16+ amazing news! \sounds so normal - you must also be so happy too

carebear I love that thought you posted - really great and inspirational!
raspberry welcome to you!
Waves to the rest
ZB

jumpingjackhash · 02/03/2012 14:11

Hi thanks for the sympathy for the slow womb lining, but have put it in perspective now and as Rakkers said, better to have 'problems' now than later on. 'Problem' being the closest word to 'just not moving quick enough for me'!

Josie, I can see where you're coming from - I know someone who keeps moaning about every teeny thing relating to her pregnancy, but as she doesn't know what DH and I are going through I grit my teeth and just block it out. If someone who did know what we were going through and was so fecking insensitive I'd probably lose it with them!

Having said that, I do think you shouldn't let this break up an otherwise good friendship - could you chalk this down to her just being a bit of a wimp, bite your tongue and take the higher ground? It's hard not to want to slap her I know, but think where you'll be in 12 months - hopefully both sitting in a cafe with your babies, supporting each other as you would ordinarily. Friendship is a long game.

Rakkers & ellan - congrats on seeing the heartbeats! Must be overwhelming to actually see how those images of embies / blasts from transfer are growing into proper little people! Here's to a really mundane 7&1/2 months for you both!

OP posts:
JosieSmith1 · 02/03/2012 14:59

The trouble is Raspberry, coming from previous experience, I'm not so sure she will understand. I'm going to leave it a couple of days and when I'm feeling better get back in touch and just like you say, explain it's a difficult subject for me to discuss and could we maybe talk about other things more

Zeebee I'm glad it's not just me who has insensitive friends, maybe in future I should read her moany texts, listen to my new relaxation cd, then text her back Smile

Jumping I see what you're saying about not letting it ruin our friendship. I know if she can let me have my space when I need it, but be there for me when I'm ready to come back, even if that's months down the line, then we'll be ok. I've been secluding myself because it's too hard for me to be around her, but if the IVF works, we'll be fine. If it doesn't, maybe it won't survive the test but only time will tell

jumpingjackhash · 03/03/2012 17:17

Hope it works out for you Josie, come and rant on here if it helps.

I just had a call from a v dear friend to tell me she's pg again, am really pleased for her, as it means the world up her and she knows what we're doing so is v sensitive, but it still makes me feel like crap all the same. I appreciated her telling me, as I know she was worried about how I would feel/react but I guess good friends know how to talk about it with sensitivity.

OP posts:
lumili · 04/03/2012 15:39

Lizziebennet - You asked if there were any downsides to ICSI. If you read all the articles that are out there in the internet I am sure you will find many things against it, however I don't believe there is any proven evidence against using it. As we use donor sperm, the sperm is mant to be of good quality and there are no worried there, our clinic just like to recommend using ICSI as there is a higher chance of success!! and i guess the extra £1,100 helps as well - just me being a bit cynical there :) However, if something is offered to us we always do it otherwise we would be forever thinking what would have happened!!

Josiesmith1 - We haven't had to consider using donor eggs due to the fact that me and my DP are both women, however we are using donor sperm. My DP is the one that is trying to get pregnant and even though our new little baby (if we are lucky enough) will not look like me or be a blood relation, it doesn't mean that I will love them any less :) I will just be over the moon. Sorry you have fallen out with your best mate, it is always a difficult thing.... one of my frinds at work had twins 2 weeks before our little baby would have been due (my DP miscarried at our first attempt) I did think that I would feel very sad as it would be a reminder that our little one should have been there soon, however I was very happy for him and I didn't feel as bad as I though I would.

Jumpingjackhash - Sorry to hear that your scan was a bit of a flop. Good luck for Friday and I hope you can start with the cyclogest then. Hope you enjoyed your posh hot chocolate :)

Ellangirl and Rakkers - Glad that all went well with your scans, must be so lovely to see the heartbeat :)

MrsMigginslovespies - Congratulations on yor pregnancy, how lucky that it was succesful on your first attempt :)

We are currently on day 6 of our 2 week wait... I hate waiting.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the weekend.

xxx

lizziebennet · 04/03/2012 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lumili · 04/03/2012 22:23

Lizziebennet - are you having your IVF on the NHS then? Congratulations on things now moving in the right direction :)

Today we were so tempted on doing a pregnancy test, I know its far too early but the waiting just gets to you doesn't it!!

xxx

jumpingjackhash · 05/03/2012 10:44

lizzie glad something is happening!

Don't do it lumili! It's still very early days - just another week to go - sit on your hands!! Wink

Everyone else feeling alright?

I'm starting to feel a bit bloated now, which I'm taking as a good sign that the drugs are working and my womb is getting nicely thick. Doing all I can to relax and stay happy and had a lovely chilled lunch with friends and their baby girl yesterday.

OP posts:
lizziebennet · 05/03/2012 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lumili · 05/03/2012 12:20

lizziebennet that is great that you get 2 rounds on the NHS, it's not something we actually looked into, we just thought we wouldn't be able to have it! As to the testing - well stupidly we couldn't hold off and we need the test this morning. We shouldn't have, it was negaive and now we both feel abolutely devastated :( My DP was meant to be back at work today, she made it in but burst into tears so has been sent home!!! Why did we do this to ourselves xxx

lumili · 05/03/2012 12:21

jumping we should have sat on our hands!!!

CareBear1 · 05/03/2012 13:46

Lumili hang on in there its just too early yet. Fingers crossed for you.

Jumping am sure the bloating is a sign of a very thick and juicy lining! God I am glad this thread is anonymous!

Raspberry im exactly the same about work. Im lucky in that my boss has even said 'sometimes work is not the no.1 priority in life', she's very supportive.

Josie one thing I've had to come to terms with is that no matter how bad things are for me it doesn't mean my friends lives stop or have their own difficulties and also that they can never truly understand where I'm at.

Lizzie good news.

Waves everyone else.

Quick update from me, had a scan today and lining thickness not quite there yet. Going back on thurs and if all ok then should be on course for ET next tues. Eek! Off to do meditation cd to try and curb mentalling! X

zeebee1 · 05/03/2012 13:57

lumili you tested so early - don't loose heart - things can change so quickly -so on day 14 you guys might be PG... fingers crossed that you are on your next test...

News from me: I welcomed AF with open arms yesterday Smile - so today I reduce sniffs to 2 a day (thank god the 11pm sniff has gone - that was a killer to stay awake for!) and have just had 3x Progynova pills in one go with my lunch - hopefully it won't make me feel too Envy (supposed to be sick not envy!) this afternoon...
I have a scan booked in for Tues 20th March - so 2 weeks to go before they can tell what the next step is...

jumping how are you doing? When is your next scan? Presumably you aren't on the dreaded Cylogest yet?

Waves to everyone else - hope all is well
ZB

zeebee1 · 05/03/2012 14:47

oooh carebear our posts crossed - good update from you then - fingers crossed for next TUesday - spring is in the air - that's got to help us all right?? I was once told by an acupuncturist that apparently IVF is more successful in the spring than the winter! NO JOKE!

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