Hi everyone, sorry I've been awol - been away for the weekend and really busy since! Had an amazing time away, had loads of fun just the two of us and even stayed in the bar on sat night and had some cocktails (haven't had a drink since erm, March maybe 
) but it's one of the things dh said he's been missing so we've agreed to do things other than sit in front of the tv all night. Had a right laugh, which I don't think I've done since starting ttcing. Went out all day sunday then in the bar again sun night then home monday.
Something very strange happened aswell. I had an epiphany and realised that even if we adopt, we will still be a family and that whether we adopt or have biological children, I will one day be a mammy! I have been really excited about adoption ever since! I saw a pg woman and smiled instead of feeling really low, and I have been able to talk about my friend's pg without feeling really upset and jealous because I know that I will one day be able to buy clothes for my children and take pictures of them in their frist school uniform and do all the things parents do. I seem to have realised that it's not the carrying the baby or experiencing the labour or even the pg that's important, it's bringing up the child. And if we do adopt, we will be providing a loving home environment for a child in need.
So all the ttcing is pretty much out of the window. I almost want the fertility clinic to say we'll not have biological children so that I can start the adoption process! I hope this feeling of peace lasts. That's the best way I can describe it - a feeling of peace has descended on me. I have decided to sod being healthy, sod not drinking and sod thinking about kids all the time, we will definitely have kids one day so we might as well make the most of just us for now. And enjoy lots of sex just for the sake of enjoying sex!
Sorry it's so long, glass of 
for anyone who made it this far!