TTC/ pregnancy on Prednisolone or similar part 3

[freelancegirl]

For those who are TTC/pregnant undergoing immunotherapy treatment. Current list as it stands, do feel free to come and join us, it's moving quickly round here!:

Tuesday 22nd November

TTC
Waiting to test
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC, will be Ist try with Pred, Intralipids on bfp Testing from 21/11
Havingkittens - Upgraded from High to V High NKC TTC #1 after 2 month break/testing 29 Nov -2 Dec depending on my resolve.
Waiting to ovulate
coleyoz - V High NKC. TTC #2 - ov 3 Dec (Pred and Intralipids at BFP)
duggs1976 - High/V High NKC - TTC #1 - Superovulation cycle1
batteryhen - High activation NKC, factor v leiden. TTC#1
Suemays - V High NKC TTC/ov 30th Oct. TTC#2.
Cherrycheeks - V high NKC, TTC#2/ ov 25th-26th Nov/ 4th cycle of pred
pureequeen - High NKC TTC #2 again from November (BFP cycle one but mc)
eurochick - TTC#1 awaiting first appointment (in Nov)/ov expected 28-30 Nov.
BFPSeeker

BFP
2nd Trimester
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP 9/7/11 cycle#2- 24+3 Due 10/03/12 next scan 30/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 -19+1 Due 16/04/12 anomaly scan 23/11
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - BFP pre-pred, started at 6 weeks ? 16+1 next scan 14/12
Comedy - V High NKC - BFP cycle#2 - 13+3 due 26/5/12 next scan 12/12
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - BFP cycle#2 - 12+6 anomaly scan Jan

1st Trimester
BrownieGecko - High NKC, Hypothyroidism, & Glucose Intolerant. BFP on cycle 3 of Clomid - 11+4 next scan 28/11
Scooterchaser - V High NKC - BFP cycle1 - 8+1 Due 01/07/12. Scan 25/11
Freelance - V High NKC TTC#1 Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos. MC 1st cycle. LMP18/10 - 4+6 - Scan 3/12
Arianhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC#2 BFP 2nd pred cycle LMP19/10. 4+5 Scan 7/12
Cheerfulcharlie - V High NKC, MTHFR/TTC 1/ (metformin, intralipids, no pred). LMP17/10(Ov'd 3rd Nov) 4+5 Scan 6/12.
ChoccyPud - V High NKC / TTC #1 BFP 4th Pred cycle LMP20/10 4+4. Scan 3/12.

Oh fab news battery, that's just brilliant! I'm so pleased for you! :)

Hey.. way to go battery!!! well done x

sue I'll get the Galloshes on hehe. How am I going to recognise you all?
duggs I think you had a furry coat didn't you? You'll just have to sit there sweating in it for me

Just moving myself up the list to waiting to test, makes it seem like things going bit quicker!

Friday 9th December
BFP
2nd Trimester
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP 9/7/11 cycle#2- 26+6 Due 10/03/12 next scan 30/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 21+4 Due 16/04/12 MW appt 25/01
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - BFP pre-pred, started at 6 weeks ? 18+3 next scan 14/12
Comedy - V High NKC - BFP cycle#2 ? 15+6 due 26/5/12 next scan 12/12
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - BFP cycle#2 - 15+1 anomaly scan Jan
BrownieGecko - High NKC, Hypothyroidism, & Glucose Intolerant. BFP on cycle 3 of Clomid - 14+1 next scan?

1st Trimester
Freelance - V High NKC TTC#1 Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos. MC 1st cycle. BFP#1 7+3 Scan 13/12
Cheerfulcharlie - V High NKC, MTHFR/TTC 1/ (metformin, intralipids, no pred). LMP17/10(Ov'd 3rd Nov) 7+1 Scan 12 weeks
batteryhen - High NKC, factor v leiden. TTC#1 BFP cycle?. 3+6

TTC
Waiting to test
Cherrycheeks - V high NKC, TTC#2/ ov 25th-26th Nov 4th cycle of pred
eurochick - TTC#1 Awaiting NKC results/period due 12 Dec.
coleyoz - V High NKC. TTC #2 - Test 12 Dec
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC, #2, testing 17th Dec

Waiting to ovulate
Havingkittens - Upgraded from High to V High NKC TTC #1
duggs1976 - High/V High NKC - TTC #1 - Superovulation cycle2
Suemays - V High NKC TTC#2. OV 23 Nov, testing on 7th December, pred cycle no. 3

WTTC
Hopefulfor2nd - High NKC TTC in New Year
PQ77 - V High NKC TTC #2 again from January (BFP cycle one but mc)
ScooterChaser - V High NKC - TTC#2 ChoccyPud - V High NKC - TTC#1
Arianhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC#2
Lemonsherbet - awaiting results
Breezyweezy - V High NKC - TTC#1 from January

battery great news, first baby step on the way. Anyone else living vicariously through their pred thread buddies' good news, I am delighted as if it were my BFP!!

Surreal morning on a pred-surge spent unpacking my baby clothes, blankets and feeding pillow etc from the attic and making chocolate brownies, now off with my haul to visit a brand new baby, feeling suspiciously fine :)

Scooter that sounds tough in light of recent events. you sound like your doing ok and hope today isn't too tough for you. If that's what the pred does for us bring it on!

I also feel quite chipper today, looking forward to holiday next Wed and seem really organised with presents which is so not me. Started taking 2nd round of pred yesterday and it doesn't seem to have given me that manic heart racing thing like 1st round did. Sometimes it builds though. Told OH that he will have to carry all important docs at airport as I will probably forget what I did with them.
Off to friends tonight (she is 31 with 4 kids, pops them out at home everytime like peas!) Her youngest is 3 today and yet again I was pregnant and annouced it stupidly when she was 12 weeks (I thought I was 9) with him. what really made me upset was to find out she called him the name I had in mind for second child, felt a bitted robbed over that one, stupid I know.
Thankfully I don't feel any jealousy over other women with babies although I know I am so lucky to have DS so that helps. Can't imagine what you ladies are going through trying to have just one child. I;m sure I would feel whole lot different.
Our friend is also one of these women that are really laid back bohemiem types that doesn't seemed to get stressed about anything - now that does make me envious.

Didn't get much chance to get on here yesterday as I was on a job. It was a really nice day at work, although everyone on the shoot spent a lot of the day talking about their kids.

Thanks for suggestions about getting tests done in France. The problem is that my parents live in a rather remote rural village so there isn't really any "popping" anywhere going on. Just going to the shops is a bit of a mission, 20 minutes in the car to the nearest town (where, coincidentally Scooter's uncle lives - did I remember that right?). I don't drive over there so it would mean my stepdad driving me which would mean leaving my mum alone, which isn't an option. Mind you, she's back in hospital again as of yesterday so there's always the chance we will be spending Christmas in the hospital. God, I bloody hope not! I am due on around Christmas day/Boxing day. Flying home on Boxing day but then spending a couple of days down in Sussex with my granny & auntie. Does anyone know, do these tests all need to be done in the same cycle?

Scooter, that must've been hard sorting out all the baby stuff. The 'suspiciously fine' aspect may well be the post mc numbness that I think can be quite helpful in a weird way. The body or mind's defense mechanism.

Ari, how are you doing? I really hope that things settle for you soon and that this isn't an ectopic. What a nightmare. You poor thing.

I think I'm on day 10 now and started SWI last night. It's such a big fat headfuck for me just now. I actually nearly burst into tears halfway through but managed to hold it together until afterwards and then broke down. Just the overwhelming thought that there are going to be so many times where we are supposed to be SWI and I would rather be curled up crying into my pillow. So not in the right frame of mind for sex when my mum has been taken back into hospital with another infection just a few days after she has finished her 3 weeks of hardcore IV antibiotics from the last infection. They also think she has shingles. I just feel so rotten for her and so scared as things seem to be getting worse. I just don't know how I'm doing to manage to TTC through all of this .

I feel pretty weird about Christmas too. This time last year I was going through my last miscarriage, with the waiting between scans, "there might be something there but we have to wait a week to see" "oh no, we were right, there's nothing, sorry." etc. The Christmas before I'd found out I was pg the day before Christmas eve and lost it in early Feb. This Christmas is going to be very emotional and I just hope it will at least be at my mum's house rather than around a hospital bed next to a stranger.

Sorry, me with the gloom again. I wish my bloody counseling appointment would hurry up and come through before I loose my mind!

Great news battery! I hate that postive tests can be so faint, i wish I could do a home hcg test on the spot. But the cb result must hav been reassuring.

What a horrible dream digi - hope you are better rested today (and no more wind! Have you tried peppermint tea?? Baby might like it!)

scooter you are a much bigger person than I am - I have vacuum packed away all baby stuff in the loft and I won't give it to anyone but my sisters
(and even then I fetch it back). I am dreading my SIL getting pregnant and expecting car seats and all the kit - of which we have loads. Maybe then I can say I've given it away hehehe.

Arm still bleeding through the dressing where they took off the dodgy mole- but am reassuring myself that i'm unlikely to bleed to death - bit gung ho about anything non pregnancy or mc related really. Am also just too embarrassed to tell the consultant I forgot to tell him i was on aspirin.

In a cafe and have just got maple syrup all over my new iPad - shall I post on Facebook about how crap my life is?

So sorry that your mum is ill and in hosp kittens - on top of everything shingles is the pits. Have also done the crying thing mid swi - bit of a mood killer

Things moving too fast for my hormone-addled brain round here.

Ari, so sorry about the further investigations needed. When will you know? That?s the last thing you need.

And Scooter, sorry that having it all confirmed was upsetting. It is bound to be. Glad you are feeling better now though, gosh well done looking at the baby clothes. I have barely ever dared to go into a baby shop! Every now and then I allow myself to dream I might one day need to buy some cute little outfits but I slam it out of my head (in some weird fucked up manner I guess?.) befoe I get tearful.

Hello Lemon! Am looking forward to your results too. When is your appointment? I will see if anyone has added you to the list. I think I keep screwing it up, again brain not working very well. BTW I am actually sucking on a sherbet lemon as we speak. Had to get some to sweeten up the weird sickness feelings.

DIgi, what an awful dream! Pregnancy dreams are so vivid too aren?t they.

Battery, thank god for some good news round here! A BFP! Well done, it?s the first step. Come join the mentalling, we are here for hand holding. Stop testing. I only got one faint positive at 14DPO and never tested since. And whether it lasts or not, there has definitely been a baby there!

Kittens am so sorry to hear your mum has an infection on top of everything else that is going on.

Christmas seems to take on some significance for all of us this year. A bit of a ?this time last year? thing going on. My LMP from the first mc of 2011 was Boxing Day. I cn?t believe I a year has passed and so much has happened with nothing to show for it apart from weight gain and a body that feels a bit racked with drugs and stress.

PQ I can relate to those urges to post the truth on facebook! I just leave it to inane comments and chit chat but sometimes I want to put something shocking on there about what is really going on?

Well, I feel worryingly un-sick and un-tired and un-boobs sore today and it?s freaking me out. 7.3 is exactly the same time that 2011 baby no 1 kicked the bucket. I have ACTUAL work to get on with so best get ready and get filming.

Cocoon House comfort to all xx

Woo hoo battery congrats Hunni what great news for a Friday, well for any day !!!

Digi I had the same dream at about 22 weeks, had it a couple of times and woke myself up screaming and crying was awful, ull be pleased to know it does stop tho!! Xx

Well can't believe I'm on the eve of 3rd trimester, how the hell did that happen??? Can't honestly say I feel any less stressed tho. My friend had a little boy this morning and I cried so much. So pleased for her but can't help thinking something will still go wrong for me at the birth or something , how negative is that. Guess I still just can't actually believe this is happening !!

Sorry to be negative, hope everyone has a lovely weekend planned xxxx

kittens so sorry to hear about your mum, fingers crossed she responds quickly to the treatment. You are unbelievably amazing, holding it together despite everything you're going through. What a woman!

scooter Oddly I also had a spell this morning of feeling "just fine" about everything, even dare I say it full of hope for the next attempt. Then I remembered the pred side effect of "inappropriate happiness", and decided it was that Shall we be inappropriately happy together? :)

free I was thinking exactly the same thing this morning ... one year on, and the only thing to show for it is a whole lot more knowledge, a complete dearth of naiivety about the whole process (I was so, so naiive this time last year), weight gain that I really didn't need and too many drugs been in my system. Onwards and upwards, though, right? Hoping you'll get through the psychological 7-week threshold very soon, and this baby is here for the long-haul! The problem of course with the pred masking pregnancy symptoms is you don't have the odd reassurance of constant nausea/boob soreness, which just adds to your stress. You have your next scan next week, right? Waiting on the good news from that one then!

As for me, well back I trudged to NLC this morning, thankfully they found one vein left in my arm that they could access and yet more blood was duly taken with little drama. Saw Mr S briefly in the waiting room, he came over for a quick chat which I thought was nice of him, and he says we'll have the results (and that of my NK cells retest) this afternoon. But he said he didn't anticipate any problems, they just had to make sure.

Wow, great news Battery. I think we needed something to be cheerful about on here!! Fingers are tightly crossed for you. I know you can?t let go yet, but can we be excited for you at least?

Ari ? I?m really sorry to hear your news. I know you knew what was going on but it?s still a blow. I?m not sure if I?ve missed it but what are they doing to rule out an ectopic? Could it be retained ?products?? I had that after an ERPC and it took a while for my levels to go down.

Scooter ? was the baby visit OK? How are you doing?

God Kittens, you really do have a lot on your plate. Sorry to hear about your mum. I hope you get to spend Christmas at home with her.

Sorry for all of you who are struggling at this time of year ? Kittens, Ari, Scooter, Choccy. Christmas is so significant, it?s so difficult when you?ve got bad associations with it. I was pregnant at Christmas last year and I know I would have found it really hard this time round if we were still ttc so really feel for you.

Digi ? I?m so glad that the baby?s bouncing around for you again. I remember a couple of anxious days like that when pregnant with ds. Makes me shiver.

Brilliant that you?re at your third trimester Stogan. Those fears just don?t go, do they. I don?t think any of us will relax until we?ve got our babies in our arms. I had to get a doula to keep me calm when I was in labour with ds as I was terrified that it was all going to go wrong in the delivery room.

Well I finally got my assignment handed in and feel like I?m going to collapse with exhaustion. Every waking minute this week when I?m not at work or looking after ds has been spent sweating over the bloody thing, or doing marking for school. I really need to take some time out for this baby?s sake if nothing else. I?ve booked a much needed haircut tomorrow as I look like a right old state at the moment. Grown out roots, bags under eyes and ridiculous comedy boobs that seem to have sprung out in the last week or so! It?s probably just as well I didn?t make it on Tuesday, as they?d never have let me in the Charlotte Street Hotel.

Hi all. I've just been lurking the last few days, not really got much to contribute at the moment except to let rip with my own crap. Which I'll do in a sec if you'll forgive me.

Great news battery - on to the next step. Get those intralipids down you ASAP! Fingers crossed for you. :)

free I know it's a wobbly time for you and I'm really rooting for you that everything's ok with this pg. Everyone else has said it but you know the Pred masks the symptoms.... Maybe a second trimester lady can add some reassurance about lack of or disappearing/changing symptoms for you??

lemonsherbert I'm totally with you on the difference this thread has made to me these last few months. Do you have a date for your next appt to get your results? It'll feel good just to have a plan of action in place.

scooter you are way braver than me. And am salivating at the thought of homemade chocolate brownies!!

digi that dream sounds horrible. kittens I've no idea how you are coping with everything you're dealing with right now, massive hugs coming your way... Take care of yourself, you're under loads of stress right now.

Well I've made it through the week at work. Had a half day so got home and melted about 2pm. It's dh's work Xmas party tonight, which partners are invited to. It's only a shall business so it's about 20 in their group for a dinner-drinks-disco job at a hotel near their office in Hants. I'd put off making a decision whether to go until I got home from work today, as I just haven't been able to focus on anything other than what was right in front of me and just wanted to get my working week over and done with. Somehow I've managed to do 4.5 really busy days incl 3 client events (game face was plastered on for those I can tell you) and am brain dead now. So, decided I just couldn't face going along, I don't feel remotely christmassy or like putting a happy face on for people I don't know well. Or like having a meltdown in front of them.

Dh needs a blow out too and I didn't want to stop him going. He's offered to not drink so he can drive back rather than stay over if I need him. Said I'd let him know how I feel about 7.30/8 ish but it would feel hugely unfair to him to drag him back when he could really do with a bit of fun.

We're babysitting for dh's brother tomorrow night. We've sorted it so I'll go over after Strictly(!) to join him, so I don't have to mess around putting the kids to bed, but I'm worried I'll lose it while we're there, which is fine, BIL and SIL know, but I hope they don't take the piss and stay out til really late meaning we can't get home to go to bed. I'm still waking up stupidly early with 30mg Pred and the last couple of days had woken up to v depressing vivid dreams that set me off crying which is a lovely start to the day. I feel the emotional meltdown coming and I don't know if I'll be up to leaving the house tomorrow, which means another evening on my own if BIL doesn't play ball to a call from dh to get him back from his night out so dh can come home to me. But at the same time it feels rather selfish to think about telling them they need to cut their evening short because of me. why is everything such a fecking mess?

At least the bleeding seems to have stopped so I guess the physical side is nearly over. It's just that the cycle of trying to hold down a job, within reason ( I will take time off if I need to) and "time" or hold in the meltdowns for when I'm at home is so utterly exhausting and I'm drained as it is after a year of pg/mc, weight gain, drugs, generally feeling run down and let down by my body.

Sorry to rant on, I'm having a really shitty day.

I've updated my stats below to add in my first four pred cycles' record as I think it's useful for the full extent of our collected experience to be recorded ie that at one end we've got people at third trimester and at the other, those wttc having had mc's on Pred. It isn't a magic bullet - don't get me wrong, I know this mc could've been any of the normal reasons, and I am not giving up on Dr S or Pred - but there are no guarantees.

Friday 9th December
BFP
2nd Trimester
Stogan - V high NKC - BFP 9/7/11 cycle#2- 26+6 Due 10/03/12 next scan 30/12
Digitalgirl - High NKC - BFP cycle#2 21+4 Due 16/04/12 MW appt 25/01
Coconutfeet - V High NKC, Factor II gene mutation, underactive thyroid - BFP pre-pred, started at 6 weeks ? 18+3 next scan 14/12
Comedy - V High NKC - BFP cycle#2 ? 15+6 due 26/5/12 next scan 12/12
Iggi - High NKC & Hypothyroidism - BFP cycle#2 - 15+1 anomaly scan Jan
BrownieGecko - High NKC, Hypothyroidism, & Glucose Intolerant. BFP on cycle 3 of Clomid - 14+1 next scan?

1st Trimester
Freelance - V High NKC TTC#1 Hydroxchloroquine, Pred, Intralipids. Thyroid/hashimotos. MC 1st cycle. BFP#1 7+3 Scan 13/12
Cheerfulcharlie - V High NKC, MTHFR/TTC 1/ (metformin, intralipids, no pred). LMP17/10(Ov'd 3rd Nov) 7+1 Scan 12 weeks
batteryhen - High NKC, factor v leiden. TTC#1 BFP cycle?. 3+6

TTC
Waiting to test
Cherrycheeks - V high NKC, TTC#2/ ov 25th-26th Nov 4th cycle of pred
eurochick - TTC#1 Awaiting NKC results/period due 12 Dec.
coleyoz - V High NKC. TTC #2 - Test 12 Dec
Snoopygirl - V High NKC TTC, #2, testing 17th Dec

Waiting to ovulate
Havingkittens - Upgraded from High to V High NKC TTC #1
duggs1976 - High/V High NKC - TTC #1 - Superovulation cycle2
Suemays - V High NKC TTC#2. OV 23 Nov, testing on 7th December, pred cycle no. 3

WTTC
Hopefulfor2nd - High NKC TTC in New Year
PQ77 - V High NKC TTC #2 again from January (BFP cycle one but mc)
ScooterChaser - V High NKC - TTC#2
ChoccyPud - V High NKC - (chem pg cycle 2 of pred (only found afterwards), mc @c.5 wks cycle 4 of Pred, confirmed @6wk scan) TTC#1, review w/Dr S 14 Jan.
Arianhod - V High NKC, MTHFR homo, hypothyroid, TTC#2
Lemonsherbet - awaiting results
Breezyweezy - V High NKC - TTC#1 from January

Ari bugger, sorry I missed you off just now... Have you got your results back yet? I really really hope it's ok and they can confirm its not an ectopic. Your poor veins :(

Choccy, you've done amazingly to get through the week at work. Remember your hormones will be doing crazy things too on top of the pred, so it's not surprising you're feeling so awful after the week you've had. Are BIL and SIL sympathetic? Big hugs. It's a shitty, shitty time.
Sue I meant to say that I can sympathise with the stress between you nad dh. My dp went through a phase of feeling quite resentful that I was "using" him. Your dh has had such a lot of loss recently too. I think it can be really hard for blokes if they feel they can't open up to their friends.
PQ I hope you stop bleeding soon.

choccy Your post is so sad, I feel for you :( You have had a really rough time so do feel free to rant and be sad on here. Did you go out in the end? I hate having to put on a brave face for everyone when actually all you want to do is howl. xx
kittens How are you my love? I know how you feel about having to SWI when all you want to do is turn over and go to sleep . Your poor mum too, shingles is bad enough on it's own without all the other stuff she is going through xx
sue my dp works away during the week too so I used to pounce on him frequently :) But it does become stressful and takes the edge off things too x
ari any blood test news?
free how are you feeling tonight?

I am ok, I have seen my GP and got all my meds prescribed. I am going to book a scan at 6 weeks with my nhs consultant, who has said I can be scanned when I like, but I think I might not have another till 12. I will book to see MR S at 9 weeks which is what Louise said I could do. I hope everyone else is ok xxx

oh choccy big ((((((hugs)))))) for you . I really think taking time off work is a good idea. Then you can spend the week crying and screaming into your pillow and be all refreshed for Christmas. I'm having a bit of a cry here for you as I remember so clearly that feeling of helplessness and utter utter misery at having to go through it all again.

scooter relish those inexplicably fine moments. Hopefully there will be more and more of those till the rubbish bits in between are barely there.

Battery fantastic news on the BFP!! First step towards your take home baby!

Snoppy Duggs Comedy and Scooter I will see you this afternoon at the Royal Oak in Farnham Common at 2.30pm. Looking forward to seeing you all - not sure how we will recognise each other! How did the London ladies recognise each other?!

choccy I tried to post this last night but managed to press some random button and make it all disappear. So here is an abridged version - never apologise for ranting on here - if you can't here where can you?
As for babysitting; never in a million years are you going to be the selfish one to ask that they come home at a reasonable hour. You are doing them a huge favour. And you know what - unless you tell me that they are really strapped for cash and can't stretch to £5/hour for a babysitter and that you REALLY enjoy babysitting - don't babysit for them in the next while and spend saturday nights with your DH doing exactly what you want. FWIW I have never asked my BIL and SIL to babysit even though they live 5 mins away and (currently) have no kids. I just feel that it is too much of an imposition (it would be different though if my sisters were in town though!). Sorry, that might not be a hepful thing to say but I think you need to look out for yourself a bit more, especially when things are full on at work.

batteryscans at 6, 9 and 12 sound like a good plan. Hope you are feeling well today.

have fun at your meet up this afternoon ladies, I shall be thinking of you as I am at a one year olds b'day party. Know where I would rather be! sue - just call someones phone and see who reaches into their bag to pick up; that was what I did on Tues! i did feel like i was going on a massive blind date though- quite funny when you stop to think about it.

I asked a fur clad lady if she was looking for duggs!! She looked at me as if I'd escaped from an asylum and I realised she was pushing 60 so both backed away quickly It is a bit like blind dating - I shall stay in fur coat and look expectantly at all single ladies until someone looks back!! comedy is PG so should narrow her down ! See u later. Waves to all. . My second RL MNET meet in one week. Have early CD9 mid ov scan with dr s on Monday to see if my follicles behaving! Bloody hope they r as this is 4th pred round getting bored now.
Waves to everyone.

Oh good scooter your second meet as well. We know each other so that helps too x good! These meetings are only thing I look forward to currently

duggs thats so funny. I'll be wearing a purple parka with furry hood if that helps. see you all later x

choccy you have my sympathy. My last miscarriage was in Nov and because work had been less than understanding with my 2 previous miscarriages, I felt I had to go to work whilst I was miscarrying. It is really hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. I think you are really brave to be babysitting tonight and it is you doing your in laws the favour.

Ari any news on the tests yet. Fingers crossed it is not an ectopic. It does not seem fair that you have gone through so much and then have this to worry about.

Battery congratulations on the BFP- good to have some positive news on here.

kittens sorry to hear about your mum, hope she gets better soon.

stogan congratulations on reaching the third trimester. I can not imagine reaching that stage. You provide hope to the rest of us that we can all get to that stage.

pq77 hope that the arm is no longer bleeding.

free how are things going? When is your next scan due?

scooter how are you doing?

I am OK. Getting fed up had my last miscarriage at the start of November and still no period yet. Just would like to it to start so I could start again-does that make sense. I have just over a week till I see Mr S. I am hoping it is going to be OK but keep having nightmares where he tells me I will never be able to have children. Think it is partly the insensitivity of my in laws especially since my SIL is now pregnant.

Sorry if I have missed anyone out.

kittens sorry to hear about your mum's infection, that is tough. Hopefully they have time to treat it and she will be able to be home for Christmas. Yes it is my uncle with a house out there too and nice to be able to imagine exactly where you go, it is indeed rural so I have probably frequented all the same places. Really hope your counselling appointment rolls up soon, but for now always vent with us, we are here for listening. Lord knows I haven't been a bundle of joy in my posts recently but I think everybody understands that's when we need it most.

Free glad to hear about weird sickness and sherbert sweets, good signs especially when we know so many of the symptoms get masked, so try not to fixate too much on what you aren't feeling. Kwym about significant window of when you mc before, it's so hard but all you can do is try to get through each day and tick it off as it passes. I found it comforting when it started to get darker earlier...hooray one more day down!

Ari agree 'suspiciously fine' must come under the inappropriate happiness umbrella! Spent Fri morning with my friend's new baby thinking, you know what getting a baby is not hard, tons of people do this, I can do this, it is NOT going to beat me I am just going to keep frigging well trying and it's going to work. Glad you got to see Dr S and he doesn't seem to think the HCG is a worry, be nice to have it confirmed though so you can have a break from the clinic for a bit.

Digi your dream sounded so awful. What a massive relief to wake up and that you are having refreshingly normal pg symptoms like wind! How funny it is what we are grateful for! So nice to hear about the wriggles :)

coconut glad you got your assignment in, what a totally knackering time for you. Enjoy some time off and pampering this weekend.

Stogan - third trim wahey! You can start a new pioneering category. I know the fear will always be there but the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight. Hang in there, you're our inspiration and hope :)

Lemon fingers crossed for AF soon, the milestones we have to look forward to hey.

Choccy hope that you have perhaps managed to cancel the babysit and have the time with DH. Thinking of you this weekend.

PQ thinking of you at the party today. Hope you don't get awkward questions, know exactly what these things are like full of happy naievely '2.4' families asking about the 'next one' and those wanting the ground to swallow you moments. Hope it passes off ok and DS enjoys himself.

Hope that brownie is lurking, haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?

duggs snoopy sue comedy looking forward to seeing you later. Have just discovered that Farnham Common is nowhere near Farnham and so pretty much miles away but hey nothing else I'd rather be doing! So M25 permitting i'll still be there.

iggi we will look out for trench-coated moustached individuals lurking near our table, what a busy week he's had ;)

So, dh text BIL this morning to apologise and explain that I'm crashing don't feel up to leaving the house and he feels he needs to be at home with me tonight so we can't babysit. Response: "its too late to get an agency sitter, not happy".

Unfeckingbelievable. What is it with insensitive IL's?! BIL's basically making dh and me feel guilty for letting them down because we're grieving over yet another mc. Well I'm sorry to inconvenience them!!! . I'm hoping I can resist the urge to text him a piece of my mind, which I don't think would be constructive. I imagine their mum will do the job when she hears about BILs attitude.

lemon did your SIL just announce she's pg? I remember you saying she had it all planned out but not sure if the pg is new news. It's completely natural for you to feel that way, they do seem astonishingly clueless and insensitive. I don't think we expect empathy from anyone who hasn't been through rmc but a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss.

Thank you everyone for reassuring me its ok to rant on here and is not mad to be feeling what I'm feeling right now.

I'm spending the afternoon avoiding all the Christmas cheer on TV by watching Pride & Prejudice for the umpteenth time. So, am putting Bah humbug on pause in preference to Colin Firth in a wet shirt. I won't let this beat me :)