TTC for 10+ months, part 4

[eurochick]

Time for a new thread as the other one is just about full.

Fingers crossed for lots of patiently-awaited BFPs on this one!

ladygee You've inspired me to go and read about it, I thought ICSI was more like IUI than IVF, but it sounds like it is basically IVF. I guess it's the sperm selection and injection that's been added, to change it from standard IVF.

Will this mean that if they get enough eggs from you this time you can do a couple of cycles from one batch, or do they always fertilise them all. Maybe embryo storage in that case instead?

Sorry, I'm not really asking you for the answers to these questions, just thinking out loud.

I'm kind of expecting to be sent down this route, what do people think? If there's been no sign at all of sperm meeting egg, does this mean they'll send us on for treatment? Or will they tell us to wait longer as it can take 18 months or more? I should be working, but sitting at work in front of a computer all day always makes me start thinking about the information I have easily accessible through just a little Google. Work obviously doesn't keep me focussed enough.

Hi stasi I think they try to rule out as many things as possible first. If DH SA results were better we were going to do 3 rounds of IUI and they were going to look at my tubes, but as we are old and his SA wasn't good, they've just sent us straight to ICSI.
Don't worry about the questions I feel like i've learnt so much in the last month or so!

stasi - I'm the same as you at work (although work is at home so I find endless distractions, computer based or otherwise).

Yes, ICSI is IVF but with sperm being injected into the egg - it's used to overcome low sperm numbers. On the fertilisation - I think they fertilise all that they can and then you can store any remaining high quality embryos.

There are a lot of steps available before you get to ICSI but, because of DH's SA results and my blocked tube, it was our only option - other than taking our chances naturally.

To be honest, it's really difficult to say what will happen at your appointment as everywhere, and every doctor, seems to have different rules and cut off points for treatment. They should accept the blood tests you've had already if they all appear normal, if they indicate any issues they might want to repeat them and they might do an ultrasound there and then, to check everything looks as it should. Your appt is later this week isn't it?

My appointment is Thursday afternoon. I don't know my blood test results, the only thing the receptionist told me was "shows ovulation". I referred myself for the appointment though, as I saw him right at the very beginning of ttc (probably because of the chemo history), and his last words to me were "call if you have any problems".

I had an internal ultrasound back then, and he said everything looked ok. There was a 'bruise' on my ovary which showed I'd ovulated, and no signs of scarring or problems caused by the surgery.

DH's results were reported as low motility, but the letter said the sample may have been contaminated, and to do it again. Unfortunately we've not done this yet, and I'm starting to wonder if there's time :(

Hi stasi, yes ICSI is basically "IVF plus" so for the couple it is basically the same as IVF with extra stuff happening in the lab.

Is there any possibility you can push your husbadn to get his SA repeated? All of he people I have seen have been very strict about not being able to move to the next stage without and SA (the IVF clinic have just demanded a third... he did one with the GP and then one for the fertility gynae).

euro he'll do another sample, it's just when. I'm really annoyed at myself for not making this happen last week, and really annoyed at him for not doing it himself. Why do I have to organise everything! .

It's 5pm now, I think he has to phone the doctor and ask for a pot/form. Then phone the hospital and maybe get an appointment as they want the sample done in situ.

It's 3-7 days since last ejaculation needed right? I feel terrible saying this, but I can't remember the last time we did SWI/SFF (I remember the event, just not the date), hopefully it'll be recent enough we can do the sample tomorrow/Wed.

Otherwise we'll have to clear the tubes tonight, which means no sample till Friday right? or maybe doing it there on Thursday after the appointment.

We've spent a week and a half doing nothing, and now it's all a big rush. I can't explain how annoyed I am at us. I told him last weekend I wanted him to do another SA, and he promised he would. I guess we both then just forgot about it.

We had the same with the second one. We needed the results for the second fertility clinic appointment. I had my rubella test, u/s and hsg within a fortnight of our first appointment. Hubby did FA for two months and then narrowly squeezed it in so he got the result a few days before our appointment. I know it is going to be the same with the third one too!

Ps apols for typos in my last post!

Hi ladies, gosh it's been busy on here today :)

kitty lol at you brandishing lentil soup at DH! Mine is being very good with the no booze thing, but has turned his nose up at smoothies! I've not known anyone refuse to eat fruit before. We had a bit of a er shouting match discussion in asda about how his sperms need the fruit!

nelly I've once had the tiniest bit of blood in the ewcm gloop. It corresponded with ovulation time and google told me it's an ov sign, so it must be true! Hope your furry (or should that be hairy?!) baby is still doing ok.

ladyg lots and lots of good luck for the ivf. I hope it all goes well and do keep us updated!

Stasi good luck with your appointment. Hope you get some answers and dont beat yourself up about the SA. We found the er timing of it all rather difficult and you deserved a break from the whole ttc stress over Christmas.

Sorry to hear about VERY insensitive pregnancy announcement pixie, stupid congratulations joy (I'd have cried!), and af arrivals mrsd and joy. My af has just about buggered off, so swi can commence! We were rather bad with regards to the trying part of ttc last month, with parental visits, colds and general laziness/hungoverness!

pout would you like to come and clean our carpet too?! Our house is a total tip! Have you managed to make an appointment with another gp yet?

Hi to everyone else I've missed. Hope you all had good weekends. I was determined to tell my mum about our ttc problems this weekend but just couldn't do it I'm pretty close to her but just don't know how to start the conversation. Plus I felt like I'd have ended up crying this weekend (am blaming af hormones...). Has anyone else told there parents? stasi and karbea I think you said you'd told yours? We may need to borrow ivf money, plus I would like the support she'd provide. May wait until we have seen the urologist again put it off again

Hi Gin we told our parents that we were having ttc problems, they don't say anything about it now unless we do. If nothing else it has stopped my dh family making comments about wanting to be grandparents. My mum isn't always the easiest to talk to but she took nearly 8 years to get pg with me.

Good luck with your appt Stasi i'm sure you'll feel better once you've had it and know where things are heading.

Good luck ladygee

Had my HSG today, got to see the images and didn't have to have antibiotics. She seemed happy that she could see the dye going where it needed to.
I'm now very confused about whether there is a reason for my lack of BFP I haven't had all of my hormone test results yet but the only thing so far that has shown up as a possible reason is the cysts on ovaries seen on ultrasound. I shall be wishing the time away until my appt with consultant which I guess will be end of feb/march!

Karbea We're having ICSI in Manchester

Farfalla DH smokes too, he says he wants to give up but he's got lots of duty free cigs from his mums holiday and so apparently he can't until he's smoked them

Stasi I know what you mean about having to ask the right questions or you wont find out what's wrong. He also seems to take things as a personal attack/criticism and so will get on the defensive rather than discussing things. I think I will look in to some alcohol free beer, thanks for the suggestion. A lot of it seems to be when he's out with the lads, he can go out with the best intentions of just having a couple but once he gets with the lads he just keeps drinking because everyone else is.

ladygee It will be fab if we're all ICSI-ing at the same time

Sorry about the AF arrivals Joycep, Farfalla and mrsden

mrsden When do you start IVF?

I rang the hospital today and they're still waiting for my recipient to ring on her CD1 so they can ring me. She did look at her notes though and said it should be any day now and her last CD1 was about a month ago. Annoying thing is, it's CD21 today so if they start me down-regging on CD21 that's a WHOLE four weeks to wait. Although it'll give me a bit longer to do the 30 days shred and get fitter (before I hopefully get pregnant and fatter)

Oh I forgot to say, we went shopping yesterday with PIL so they could buy me some clothes for Christmas to replace the one's they bought that I didn't like didn't fit.

She asked me if I wanted some new jeans before changing her mind straight away and informing me there was no point me getting jeans if i'm going to be pregnant soon

Ginsoaked I told my mum when we had our first consultant appointment and were told the bad news, although i'd seen the SA results before and researched it so knew exactly what they were going to say. She was fab!

I'm very close to my sister so I'd told her before this that we were having tests and went to cry on her when we got the bad news (she works in the same hospital)

We told PIL the day after as since we've been married they've been dropping hints and sometimes not even hinting, so I wanted them to know so they could stop asking us all the time. They were great, told us to go private straight away and not worry about how we were going to pay for it

cakes I am glad the HSG was fine and you got a good result.

Gin I told my mum. I told her before we got married that we were only doing it to have kids (after she expressed surprised that we had bothered after so long together). And I have since spoken to her about her own history. I knew she had a row of miscarriages after me and wanted to know if there was any relevant info for my consultant. The only downside was that she had quite a negative reaction to the idea of IVF. I guess it is just foreign to her. I've no idea if she told my dad.

Mr euro told his mum at the beginning of her Xmas visit. I wasn't there when she arrived as I was off being dildocammed, so it explained my absence and helped to make sure she didn't put her foot in it during her visit.

fatima surely the best strategy is go out and buy loads of figure hugging clothes completely unsuitable for pregnancy? Although I have tried this strategy once or twice without success!

Wow, I miss three days and there is a whole new page of posts! I went away for a lovely break this weekend. What with everything thats happening, I know there will be no pregnancy for quite some time and it is like ...as you were ..and I feel normal for the first time in over a year. Like we really have stopped trying. It's kind of sad but also oddly refreshing. We stayed in a nice hotel, drank champagne and ate out til late and wandered all around the city having fun times. It felt good. Strangely, my period came with no warning at all on Saturday, bang on cue with NO spotting whatsoever. This is almost unheard of for me. I've felt all normal and I much prefer it. I wonder why? Af does like to come at inappropriate times tho. And always on a full moon!!

nelly sometimes I get blood in my ewcm. Not always though. I think it's as the egg ruptures? I like to think this means my elusive tubes are clear
I'm so sorry about your horse. On the mend now?

huge loves and hugs to Fatima Karbea and ladygee with your next bit of the journey. Bring on the autumn babies! Keep us posted every step of the way.

Well done on the hsg cakes and good luck with the apt Stasi. don't worry about the sperms, it will get sorted.

Grrr joycep that that could have happened. Hope you're ok. And to pixie for your annoying neighbour.

gin I told my mum quite quickly and she's been great. It took her a while to conceive my brother.less than a year, but she gets the stress of it and has been supportive. You'll know when it feels right.

kitty I hope it isn't your period coming on your behalf and am willing it away! How's the cooking/reading!? did you message purple about the reflexology?

euro any rumblings?

pout your post made me many times. I hope you now have a sparkly carpet.

Waves to mrsden and anyone I missed.

I see many of our periods are in sync on this thread. mrsd - sorry about yours and weird that both our boobs were still hurting. I don't like these tricks my body plays as I rely on my boobs to tell me when AF is coming...now i can't trust the little ladies.

I have no idea why this person thought i was pregnant or where they would have got this news from. It wasn't even a friend of DH's - it was my BiL's BF and they were at a drinks reception. I am so thankful i couldn't make it because being congratulated on my pregnancy when I am on my period is not a good combination.

kitty - i find it a bitter pill to swallow when i hear about people who should struggle to get pregnant but don't. It's not very nice of me I know but it just worries me even more and makes me wonder what the hell is going on.

karbea - i think our parents must have got married on the same day as i was at my parents' ruby wedding anniversary yesterday as well . Thank flip no one mentioned my cycles. I was just sitting there rather grumpy with very bad Af pains.

pout - perhaps you are about to ovulate...is it worth taking your temp just to check whether high or low? I also hate the build up to Ov...the have I, haven't I scenario. Also, i think I do prefer AF's rude, unanticipated arrival. The worst is being kept hanging for days on end wondering when or whether she will arrive and in the meantime having daydreams about how I am going to tell dh, my parents and the office that I am pregnant.

Pixie - are you on month 2 of clomid now?? and I'm surprised you didn't punch your neighbour in the face. How very dare they.

gin - I told my mother who told my dad. We aren't a close, tactile family so it is a bit weird them knowing but I kind of like them knowing. My mother can be incredible unhelpful though with some of her comments. although having said that she has been to speak to her Gp about me and I'm seeing her witch doctor on Wednesday.

fatima - i can't believe how close you are getting now. You will keep us posted won't you. That's great about your PiL , what kind people! I also always buy much smaller clothes than I should. Sadly my nicest trousers can't be buttoned after the xmas bulge.

cakes - sorry i forgot to say i'm glad your hsg was ok.
wine - SO pleased you feel much better. and i didn't realise it was a full moon, no wonder so many of us got AF this weekend with no warning!! sppokkky.

night night all

Hi everyone, feels like I haven't posted in ages but it's only been one day .

So sorry that AF arrived joycep and announced too. I think that's worse than when you know it's coming, but who are we trying to kid, it's awful whichever way it happens. And WTAF about the pregnancy announcement. It was maybe just a case of mistaken identity, but how horrendously ironic. You sound very calm about it, I would be in fits by now I expect.

I am so sorry about your DH's cat Karbea. Our cats are our babies, no doubt about it. I hope your DH is ok :(

Glad you got some answers cakes on the weird comments.

Sorry about AF for you too Farfalla. My OH smokes too, but only one a day. As his SA have come in normal, I don't think I stand much chance of persuading him to stop! We've both cut our drinking down a bit since Christmas, but we will see how long that continues.

Stasi I think I missed somewhere along the line that you got a good result from the hospital - I am SO pleased for you! Pants to being back at work, and also that AF is imminent. Any news on that yet? My chlamydia test was the same as yours, had to do it myself, which was a bit odd!! Are you in Scotland too then? I don't think I knew that

ladygee I'm not sure whether to say boo or hooray for your AF. Of course an ironic BFP would have been amazing, but at least you are on course for the ICSI which is exciting, but no doubt scary as well!

Oh mrsden you too with the surprise arrival of ERTD. What a joy eh? I too now check every time I wipe. Oh dear, this is not normal behaviour I suspect

Going to post this before I lose it (laptop being weird!) then carry on....back in a few minutes

..Right, I'm back.

Pout my horse seems to be feeling a little better today thanks. It's very scary when they are ill. And scarily expensive, too! You did make me laugh, as always, with your bucket-like fanjo . I'm sure it's not though (is there, in fact, any appropriate response to that sentence???) I have to say I like the fact that GPs consult Google. The more unusual stuff they just can't be expected to know. I think they need to be humble enough to accept that they don't always know stuff though, and sadly a lot of Doctors just aren't. And then arrogance gets in the way of seeking advice.

Boo to pregnancy announcements and bloody nosey inquisitive neighbours. Well done on the no tears for OBEM. I think I said up thread that I called someone a chav on it, which isn't very nice of me, so clearly I wasn't feeling the motherly love during that episode

We had exactly the same issue here stasi and euro ie getting OH to bother his ass into the hospital to do his SA. Oh I think someone asked about my sister having IVF much earlier. Yes she was also unexplained, and I do hope it's not genetic! My mum had us all very easily, but she was very young. My sister and I were both mid to late 30s when trying, so perhaps that's the difference. Goddamit.

Gin I'd say she was hairy! Though if you saw her today, you would just say "large blob of mud". Ugh. She had wallowed like a pig. No I've not told parents and neither has OH. I couldn't bear it!

Glad the HSG went well cakes but it's confusing sometimes isn't it? We just want to be told "this is why you aren't pregnant. Do this/eat this/take this drug and it'll be fine". Shame it doesn't bloody happen that way!

Your weekend sounds lovely wine and I think a very well deserved treat! You definitely sound more upbeat.

I'm going a bit cross-eyed now so going to post now and go outside for bedtime cuddles with the muddy hippo lovely recuperating pony. Am working from home tomorrow - you know what that means

Oh but before I go, has anyone seen the ad at the top of the MN page for the conception kit........

God my posts make no sense. My laptop has this annoying habit of the cursor dancing about all over the place. Often this results in me losing whole posts (hitting backspace, thinking I was deleting just a letter or two, whereas actually I'm going back a page on the browser). So my typing becomes a bit like shorthand, in an attempt to not lose what I've typed. I really really should do it on Word and copy it in, so you can all understand me. Sorry

Hello lovely ladies! And a very happy and fertile new year to us all. I have been offline forever, first because of lovely boozy christmas holiday. (After a dodgily executed smear test scuppered our chances of a christmas BFP, I felt no need to go slow on the fabulous wine, and as expected AF arrived on boxing day.) I have been back a few days, but work is very busy and internet at home untrustworthy... So I am just sneakily popping by for a Big Wave to all and a sneaky request for someone to sum up the past weeks for me. I spotted some BFPs but don't know whose? Huge congrats in any case!!! I saw some treatments coming up, all very exciting and things crossed here for the first to enter the realm of IVF/ICSI, and I saw too many AFs arriving over the last weekend. Hiss boo to her. I saw a colicy pony, but yay for her being a bit better, nelly. Apologies for minimised name checking and please tell me a nut shell what I need to know to chat with you again? I'll check in properly tonight or tomorrow, crazy work demanding attention, what is that all about?!?!

Morning everyone. Well, I had a bit of a meltdown last night and a big cry. Feel a bit better today, though I think I made DH feel worse. I told him this ttc stuff feels really lonely, and where do all his feelings and emotions go. He never seems upset when AF arrives, doesn't seem worried or stressed or anything. We had a good chat and cleared the air. I can't be angry at him for not sharing with me when I avoid sharing with him. I don't want to make him worried or upset, and he doesn't want to make me worried about him worrying. If I know he's as worried about us having problems, then it makes it seem like there is more reason to worry. Sigh.

Having said that though, AF hasn't actually turned up. I was expecting it all day yesterday due to a big temp drop and really bad cramping. However, yesterday was the earliest I've got up in 3 weeks, so can't easily be compared to the day before. This morning my temps are back up, but I was awake for about 20 mins before taking my temp (the alarm hadn't gone off, and I convinced myself I could go back to sleep).

We also chatted about the SA, and we're going to have to do it Wed morning, which is only 2 sleeps between ejaculations. The alternative is to do it Thurs morning, but would the consultant have the results by Thurs afternoon? I might try phoning them to ask, but if we do it on Wed and there's no problems, we know there's no problem. If there are problems, we can mention the timing maybe wasn't right and do another sample.

Did anyone see in the Metro this morning about an IVF iPhone app? Apparently made my St Andrew's Uni and can predict your success rate for IVF based on answers to a set of questions. I can't figure out what the questions might be. It's £1.99, but if it's just stuff you can look at on the internet what's the point.

Gin my mum and sister both definitely know, and my Dad maybe does. He at least knows we want children, I mentioned to him a few times about 'when we have kids', however I don't know if he knows we're having problems. I'm very close to my Dad, but it is a weird conversation to start - you kind of need a question or comment from them as a starting place. DH's parents don't know anything about it, but I want to tell them. They were so good and supportive through all the cancer treatment and checkups that I know they'd like to know. If I think of a way to raise it, I'll let you know. They're the least pushy in laws possible, and have never, ever pushed for grandchildren, or even asked. I know they'd love some though.

Cakes glad your HSG went well, I'm thinking I might get sent for one as abdominal surgery can cause scarring and blocking of the tubes. He looked for it with a U/S and said everything looked fine, but I guess you can't really tell without more investigations.

Fatima I'm feeling excited for you starting your ICSI, it seems so close and real. I hope you don't have to wait a whole 4 weeks, and that the timing works out well.

Wine your break sounds lovely, it must be nice to take a proper break from all the stress of ttc.

Nelly yup, we're in Edinburgh. Glad your pony is doing well, and enjoying the mud. Is it the touchpad on your laptop that makes the cursor move around? I had one that did that, I turned off the pad and bought a mouse! I've not seen the conception kid ad, but I think I read someone mentioning it. It's something like a mooncup for catching the sperm and holding them in?

Hi Lemon glad you're well and just busy. Sounds like you had an excellent Christmas, in spite of AF. I've been sent a letter about a smear test... maybe I'll put it off for a little while. I've never had a bad one, but am now worried I will! This post is already epic, so I won't do a summary for you just now.

Welcome back lemon, we've all missed you. You've not missed much, purplelooby and citysnow got their BFPs so we've had a bit of excitement.

I'm pleased your horse is feeling a bit better nelly, sounds like harder work than a baby.

I think I was a bit premature in saying AF had arrived, it's still just brown blood when I wipe. It's funny that some months I get a few days of spotting and then other months it's straight into AF. I hate this brown stuff, it makes me think something is wrong and I know AF is coming so I wish it would just get here because I always think I feel my worst on these spotting days.

I could have wrote some of your post stasi, I too got upset with DH last night. I was looking at the website for our fertility clinic (I've read it all a hundred times before but I like to go back and look at their baby gallery ). Anyway, DH has never looked at it so I was asking him to come and read it but he kept saying he was busy and this really upset me for some reason. I think because IVF and all that is all I think about and it's so obviously not really on his mind at all. He says that he doesn't need to think about it until we start, and I cannot understand this at all. I don't think it helps that I find work boring at the moment whereas he has a demanding job which he loves.

fatima it's amazing to think you'll be so close to your BFP soon. Only 4 weeks until you start ivf, do keep us updated on it all. I think it will probably be July or August before we start and you will most likely be heavily pregnant by then .

Since knowing about ICSI, it really annoys me when on tv they talk about IVF but show the picture of the sperm being injected into the egg because that's ICSI not IVF! There are lots of things to try before ICSI stasi but it's the only option when there is a severe male problem so that's why we were advised to go for that. If you get diagnosed with an ovulation or unexplained then there might be other things to try first. I think age also plays a part in what they recommend too.

Did anyone see that Peaches Geldof and Sienna Miller are pregnant? I wonder what other celeb pregnancies there will be this year, there seemed to be so many last year. It seems we were wrong about a christmas announcement for Kate and Wills, and I see she is back to wearing tight fitting stuff again.

Hello,

Joycep yes I guess they must have!

AF arrived for me last night, so i'll be going to the clinic tmr for my blood test!

mrsden yes I saw they were pregnant. Pixie is really young isn't she? Lots of celebs seem to be preggers at the mo.

I've been off the acupuncture for awhile but I need to book myself in again, especially as IVF(ICSI) is getting closer!!!!

On phone so just a quick one re sludge-gate mrsd. Someone started a thread recently asking if it was normal and quite a few of us from here, plus other long term TTCers, said they had it too. Which makes you think a bit....

stasi yes apparently it puts the sperm right at the cervix opening. It does look like a mooncup, maybe for considerably less money we could make some alterations! No I haven't seen the app. It does seem a bit unfair to charge for the questionnaire. Surely if it was good, they could sell it to clinics? Or am I a cynic

Yes it's the touchpad that causes the cursor to jump. The problem with adding a mouse is I usually am on the netbook slumped in front of the tv, not at a desk.

I'm in Edinburgh too -or thereabouts!

Welcome back lemon

I once found a clinic site where you put in various info (age, prior pregnancies, known issues, etc) and it gave you a percentage chance of success for IVF so if the app does no more than that, it is only giving you what you can already get for free.