TTC for 10+ months, part 4

[eurochick]

Time for a new thread as the other one is just about full.

Fingers crossed for lots of patiently-awaited BFPs on this one!

Oh yes pixie I'm sure that's what your body is doing. It's about time one of us got our womb under control . I am very jealous of you having Olympics tickets. I learnt after the lottery that OH applied for £3.5k worth of tickets . I'm actually relieved he didn't get any - no idea how he'd thought we'd pay for them if we'd got them all!

Random chat Wine? Well I'm working from home today and it has turned out to be a much nicer day than recently. Saw a cute squirrel sitting on a tree stripping the berries, very impressive as it was a very spindly branch which was whipping about all over the place with the squirrel's weight :)

x-post Pout, I guess it's entirely possible that the writers of Corrie read the thread. Maybe we should start making up some really wild stuff and see if it ends up on the TV . As always you have made me giggle with the image of our honey-clad selves trying to grapple with a squirmy baby without coming off our yantra mats.

I too, am bored, and I'm not even in the 2ww yet! CD14 here, ov expected about CD16. We should have SWI last night, but both of us were too tired, so we'll have a go tonight instead.

Bubs - hi and welcome. Sorry you're back here again, but hopefully your time here will be short. Did you get any advice when you were trying for your DD about why it took so long that time? I hope you don't have to be as patient this time, but it's nice to know there are successes after a long wait.

Joycep - I'm sure everything will settle down soon. It's so annoying when something like this happens and you start thinking "what if...". Down that way lies madness, so I advise trying to relax and look forward to your next cycle. I'm sure everything will be fine, our bodies are quite resilient things.

Pout - hope your mood has improved today. I've decided I'm going to get into the Christmas spirit early this year, and start preparing for hosting our family get together. Hopefully it will distract me from stressing about ttc, and make Christmas day totally stress free!

Nelly - keeping my fingers crossed for you. Would be nice to get in a few BFPs before Christmas, and there's no reason you shouldn't be one of them!

Gin - could it be an implantation dip?

Lemon - sorry AF turned up for you.

Wine - hopefully once the weekend gets here the days will go by quicker for a while. I hate the weekend being over so quickly but it does get 2-3 days of your 2ww over and done with :)

Pixie - I sense an ironic BFP coming on...

The Corrie writers probably do look on places like this for inspiration. What was said? I don't watch it.

I'm 3 dpo here (according to FF, I think I'm actually 2 dpo) so back in the 2ww. Meh.

I've been moved desk's at work- grrrr so now instead of my private corner everyone can see my screen so MN quick posts are out. Now have to check on my phone so sorry if I miss things.

lemon - sorry about AF.

pout - how are you feeling . Any better? I hope you have wedding plans all under control. I bet the corrie writers do use MN for inspiration. Did the character say "it fucking sucks!" ? Also I have had an AF exactly like you describe. It was about 4 months ago and panicked me slightly. I have no idea what it means, if anything....

WINE - I have bough two yantras! One for my bro and one for DH. And I can't wait to try them out. They wont appreciate them I am
Sure.

Thanks Mrsd and Stasi - perhaps it is the AF thing but I have never had before in this part of my cycle so it has confused me!!

Euro - when do your immune results come in?

I want to check the previous page but can't as will lose everything. Bit am waving at everyone else. Have been a bit bad tempered recently. This is how mad I am going - I saw a picture of my mum and all 3 of us as kids and I got cross and thought how did mum have babies so easily and I can't. How ridiculous, it must be AF talking!!

That is incredibly unhelpful of your work joycep. My screen is visible to all as well, so I tend to do phone posting during the day. However what I sometimes do if I have a lot to say is use my phone to read, a Word document to type; then surreptitiously open a small MN window on my pc and do a quick copy/paste

Hurrah for the yantra mat purchasing. You have also all inspired me to get Christmas started so I'm off to make my Christmas Rocky Road (thank you Nigella :) )

Morning. Feeling a bit :( today. Another temp drop & increase in womb pains suggest af will be on its way shortly. That will bring us to our 17 month of ttc... Think I need to accept this really iant going to happen naturally. But there's no ivf funding here, so not sure it will ever happen! Also feel bad for getting upset in front of DH, as it makes him feel worse (we have male factor problems). It's all rather shit!

Anyway sorry for the miserable, me, me, me post. Just needed to vent!

Morning everyone. So glad it's Friday! I've had a really tiring week this week, and more than the usual share of feeling down about TTC. I'm telling myself that it's ok, I'm just being realistic about our chances, given our performance over the last many months. Really want to get on and get DHs SA done, and then go see the consultant in Jan to see what he advises.

Joycep - I hate sitting where people can see my screen in work. It's not that I slack off overly much, it's just that it's easy to misinterpret what's seen over your shoulder in small snatches. I do like writing my posts in some kind of text editor though. Find is easier to scroll up/down through what people have said, and even refresh the page to check I've not missed the most recent posts. Perhaps you could do that too?

Nelly - I looked up that rocky road recipe. I think I'll put making that on my todo list for the weekend. I was a bit disappointed there were no 'Christmas spices' involved. I wonder how it would taste with a little cinnamon and/or ginger added?

Gin - sorry you're feeling down today. There is always a chance things can still happen naturally. There are many stories about people getting pregnant after years of trying - or being told outright they are infertile and it'll never happen. My sister's childminder is 6 months pg with a baby she'd been told she'd never have.
Are there any other options open to you before IVF? Maybe IUI or something? Also, if it's male factor, isn't there like an IVF-lite version you can do, where they don't do all the stimulating and things, but work with your natural cycle? ICSI seems to be recommended for male factor, there's a .

I hear you about it being Friday stasi, although this week does seem to have gone by really quickly. We have a weekend of doing nothing planned which will make a nice change.

gin I'm so sorry you are feeling . We all have days like this. Do you know that IVF isn't possible in your area? I ask because I know of a few people who thought it had been suspended but then found out that it was being more widely rationed but that they still fitted the criteria. Would any other treatment be available on the nhs?

joycep how dare work interfere with your posting here! I never post on a work computer because they monitor our usage and I would be mortified if my boss read some of the things I post here.

pout what was said in Corrie? Did they mention snakes in prams or sperm fritattas?

nelly any poas action today?

wine what is a vit D spray?

lemon sorry about AF arriving.

My boobs are sore today so I must have ovulated. Hurray for that even if we did get the timing of SWI wrong. Actually, I can't even remember the days we did it so I must be a bit more relaxed because up until recently I would have marked it on the calendar.

I heard a story yesterday from a colleague about a woman who had miscarried her first baby and was told she'd never be able to have children (this was in the 80s). Anyway she went on to have 3 boys after giving up hope of ever being a mum. I like hearing good news stories like this :)

Mrsd - this week has gone very fast indeed. Good news of sore boobs confirming ovulation and that you're a bit more chilled about marking down swi. Thanks for sharing that story, it's always good to hear happy endings - and 3 boys is a very happy ending (although I'd love a little girl too if we're lucky enough to get there)

bubs - hello and welcome, thanks for sharing your story too. And milk, hey? I think that would go well with gingerbread (or cake or biscuits...), which is this month's thing!

gin - sorry to hear you are feeling down. We've got male factor problems too and, for a while, I didn't really talk to DH about how I was feeling because I thought it would make him feel worse but tbh we both feel better when we're being open, even if that means regular floods of tears. Everyone's different though but I hope you feel better soon.

lemon - sorry AF has made an appearance

joycep - I hope everything settles down with your cycle soon. How rude of them to move you and interrupt precious MN time?!? nelly's tips on surreptitious MN posting seem like a good substitute! I hope everything settles down with your cycle.

Joining in on the woo-hooing for Friday stasi. And not just any Friday but the first in December, which means that I have to watch Love Actually for the first time this festive season. I love that film - watch it at least four times every Christmas. This, pout, is one of my many rituals and I agree that the build up is the best bit!

I'm 4DPO here. Nothing unusual to report apart from for the whole of this month my various types of CM have been copious - no idea what this means! Latest advice from my acu lady is to avoid orange juice and stick to apple/berries juices instead. Apparently orange juice makes everything 'slippery', including the womb lining - but it's also linked with type 2 diabetes and eczema (which I have).

Afternoon ladies.

Gin I'm sorry that you feel so down. It sounds like we are in a similar boat (though we don't have any identified problems) and IVF has been suspended in our area too. I keep trying to force myself to get into the thinking that it might never happen for us and at times feel a little more "accepting" of it but then AF comes and I am devastated and back to square one. Obviously I'm not doing as good a job as I think of convincing myself that I am in better mental place with it all. I keep trying to count my blessings and envisage a different kind of life than the one I imagined with children in it but TBH I think I am at my lowest ebb with it all. I really hope that you cheer up though - I'm sorry that my post probably isn't helping and I should be more positive! My DP reckons that we shouldn't go into total despondency until we reach the 2 year trying mark because the majority of couples will conceive in that time. I'm not convinced though.

Stasi I'm sorry that you feel down too. It's good, IFYSWIM, that you start the new year with a consultant appointment. At least if nothing happens by the end of the year you can start the year with some optimism and action.
BTW the Rocky Road thing sounds good and if ginger is good for TTC I reckon whack it in everything!

Mrsd I'm glad that you did ovulate. Sore boobs used to be a right nuisance now they are just a relief that all is likely to be well on the egg front!

The Corrie thing was just stuff about her telling the doc that they had been trying for 4 months (a lifetime in soapland but a drop in the ocean to us!) and how she just knew something was wrong and how she had weird pains that were worrying here. What reminded me most of comments on here was how Peter was reacting to it all and her to him. He kept saying how there was nothing wrong and it will happen in time and trying to cuddle her in that kind of "there, there" way and how this just made her angry with him. I feel like a saddo talking about a soap on here like it's real but it really struck a chord which soaps most often don't.

More foods that we aren't supposed to eat Ladygee. I despair and wonder how anyone gets pregnant. A slippery womb is conjuring up all kinds of delightful imagery....

Am really not feeling the Christmas thing and am impressed that you lovely ladies are getting into the swing of it. I am being totally miserable and have decreed that because the Xmas decorations have only just made their way into the loft, they aren't coming out again. Bah humbug! Have also advised DP that all I want for Christmas is a kitchen bin...happy days

I'm with you in the bah humbug pout. It's because I'm spending Christmas with all my family and I know I'll get asked questions about when are we going to have children. Also, it's another milestone of not being pregnant and no pregnancy in sight. We're also meeting up with lots of friends who will no doubt announce their pregnancies. Bah.

The can I be pregnant after being sterilised? thread has popped up again. How can this happen to so many people?

I know what you mean about the sterilisation thread. Everytime it comes back up I just think "FFS, surely not!".

Mrsd I think for me too it's the another barren xmas, another milestone thing. I really can't believe it and was utterly convinced last year that this christmas would be different. I feel crushed that it isn't and TBH couldn't give two s*s about celebrating.

Pregnant and sterilised, oh for Gods sake...

Argh - just clicked on the sterilisation thread - why?!? Turns out the lady is probably menopausal rather than pregnant. Err, no shit Sherlock. OK bitchiness over...

Sorry you ladies aren't feeling Christmassy, though I can completely understand why. I think I've actually ramped up my festive attitude this year as a manic distraction from the crapiness that is ttc. I know that on and after the day itself I'll feel very shitty different and it will bring it all home so I'm enjoying the build up whilst it's just me and DH and no nosey relatives or pregnancy announcements. Will keep festive talk to a minimum x

I have to carry the Christmas torch. If I didn't, my Dad would cancel Christmas. I think I was about 11 when he first cancelled it. From then on I did all the present choosing and wrapping, organised the stockings and stayed up late to put them on my little brothers beds. My Dad only got diagnosed with depression recently, but I think he's probably had it for a while, but been too busy being a single parent with 4 young children to be able to suffer.

I don't think my Dad really appreciates that I do Christmas pretty much just for him, but I've been hosting it since my first year at uni, so 11 years now. I've been the mum in my family for a long time, even looking after my Dad :)

One of these days I have to have kids right? I've already proven I can look after them!

What the heck at the sterilisation thread? Oh come on!!
Thanks for all the hot tips about how i can get around getting my posts up on MN! It does take an age to write them on the phone. Really hating my new position at work. It?s not just MN , how am I expected to do my xmas Amazon shopping now??! In my free time I guess. I am very diligent and conscientious really
gin - sorry about the Friday. Don?t apologise about being miserable on here... I always find that once AF has been and gone, then things perk up a bit.
mrsd - that?s great about the sore boobs. It?s always a relief when you know things have been happening as they should.
ladygee - i will put orange juice on my no no list. However, can I eat satsumas? I eat about 3 a day ..
Oh pout , i?m sorry yuo?re feeling so down. I do find with all the ups and downs that there are times when I just feel even more low than usual and it could come after a really positive month. Sometimes it?s really hard to snap out of and it?s very difficult to see anything bright. I totally hear you about xmas as well. Last year I remember feeling awful and i was only about 8 months in. I cannot believe I?m in exactly the same position a whole year later. I?m really only throwing a xmas party as it?s my DH?s birthday . All in all i?m dreading getting xmas cards because there are going to be pregnancy announcements in those . I?m particularly dreading NYE though because i had a teary conversation with my friend last NYE. She was one month in of trying and she was saying she just hoped she was pregnant by this NYE. Well she has a baby now. It?s truly the most awful feeling all of this. It?s so out of our control and not knowing what the problem is , is torturous.
I do wonder where things will be this time next year...for all of us.
stasi - what a good daughter you are. I hope Santa gives you that bfp you thoroughly deserve.
Well i had period pains at the beginning of the week, i had period pains this morning and i thought af had come but all i?m getting is lots of ewcm. I hate things being different, it makes me very unsettled. Sorry you ladies have to hear about it...it?s not something i can offload on DH!!. Anyway the good news is that my zumba dancing is starting to have an effect. I?m losing weight and i?m beginning to feel my back strengthening. I feel pretty good afterwards as well.

Oof, I had a bad afternoon at work and think that came across with the excessive swearing in my last post! Sorry. Also feel bad about my comments re the sterilisation thread, between that and Christmas I'm going to keep stum on all counts I think.

stasi - that is dedication and commitment indeed, good practice for when your own arrive, which they will

joycep - it's crap that things are still confusing for you. Glad the zumba's paying off though

gin stasi and pout sorry you have been feeling down. The feelings of powerlessness and not knowing are so horrible. People do get pregnant after a long time trying though, that?s what I keep trying to tell myself. But sometimes there are really dark days where it all gets overwhelming, when that happens nothing seems to help apart from just waiting for it to go away. You can always moan on here though, we are all in the same boat and everyone understands exactly how you feel.

I?m usually a big Christmas person but am not really feeling the love for it this year, I echo what everyone else has said. My birthday is close to Christmas too and it all just feels like such a milestone. And with next year potentially involving the IVF rollercoaster I just feel a lot of trepidation about what?s to come. On the plus side, we have arranged to spend NYE with some lovely non-preg, non-parent friends, so that is something to look forward to.

Right. Big Friday night waves and lots of to everyone, I think we deserve it. I?m off to pour all my orange juice down the sink and mutter rude things about people on the pregnant after sterilisation thread

Hi all. Very quick as we have the IL's staying. No more PIAR but might do it again tomorrow if no AF. I still have very light sludge. But also some period style pains. So I am indeed having .

Sorry for not namechecking. But the sterilisation thread - pffft. You couldn't make it up.

Didn't make the Rocky Road as not enough butter - but now have the ingredients so that will be on tomorrow's agenda, together with getting our Christmas tree. I know what you all mean about it being another failed milestone though.

Have a nice weekend and will try to properly post at some point!

Thanks for the kind words ladies. It really does help. Still a bit :( but am sure I'll feel better once af has arrived. Sorry so many of us (pout and stasi) have been feeling a bit glum. Hope you are a bit happier today.

mrsd hurrah for your ovulation! I thought most people miss the odd month though, even without pcos?

They fund fertility services in our area but not ivf, as they have a huge waiting list. With such poor sperms, think ivf is our only option. If it cam to it, I think we'd get a fuck off loan to fund a round. Would need to give it a go before looking at adoption. pout would you consider adopting?

Know what you all mean about Xmas. Another year and no baby... Those bloody Xmas ads with happy 30 something families in them also depress the hell out of me ( well during pmt time!)

joy ewcm sounds like a positive sign?! And the zumba sounds ace, I keep meaning to find a class.

ladyg and kitty hope you managed to avoid the orange juice last night and had lots of nice instead!

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend. We're off for an evening with our childless friends, hurrah!

Ps sorry about typos! Using some weird mobile version of site & can't work out how to edit my message, d'oh!

Did another POAS this morning for another BFN. Still only sludge. That's fine as AF not due until Tuesday, except this is day 5 of if . However have increasing period style pains so I'm sure I'll be out soon. Oh well.

Sneaky posting whilst quickly hiding from ILs. Hope those who feel down are starting to feel a bit cheerier soon .

Got the tree today and the house is already starting to smell Christmassy! Sorry for going against the grain, but I love Christmas really (or rather, all the nice smells, parties, gorgeous foods and presents so feel free to tell me not to share!!

PS however I totally agree about the Happy Families Ads, ignored easily by sky+ though!

nelly so sorry about the bfn, grrr. Hope you are ok and your busy weekend is providing some distractions? Don't apologise for being christmassy! I'm sorry for being moany yesterday, I had a bad week, spending a lot of time with a pregnant (lovely) colleague is making me sad about ttc. Am sure I will get more into the Christmas mood soon. And yes sky+ is v good for fast forwarding smug adverts. Although I can imagine that they make some people with kids feel inadequate too.

gin that is really shitty about there being no funding for ivf in your area. It's such a postcode lottery isn't it, so unfair. We get one cycle in our area but other neighbouring areas have between zero and three cycles. I hope you have a good time tonight, I love going out with childless friends, reminds me there is more to life than ttc!