Feeling annoyed when sister mentions "she might just have another baby"

[Raspberryjam]

Nearly 41, clock ticking. We are very lucky to have DD nearly 4 now, ivf success. Now had failed frozen cycle and this week disastrous fresh cycle - 8 eggs none fertilised properly.
Sis just gone back to work as DD nearly 1 and she is nearly 10 years younger. Couple of times recently has flippantly said she might just have another baby straight away and not wait.
I know I have to be grateful for what we have, but starting to feel is end of road for us and not sure getting on the ivf rollercoaster again is good idea. My dad has been very supportive but has also told me to "count my blessings" - why do I feel like telling them all to piss off ? - except I don't - I just agree and smile. My mum is not around anymore - she died 8 years ago and I often wonder what she would do.
Any thoughts? Maybe I am being selfish to want another and I should just stop and be grateful for what we have ?

Love it when people post nasty shit and then fuck off

Op i have just had my 5th baby at 44 i have had chemo and shouldnt have been able to concieve at all but i did and it took 3 years so dont give up hope.
You are not rational when having fertilty probs,i felt hatefull towards other pregnant women which i knew wasnt right but i was so sad me and dh met too late to have a child.
Just have a respense for your sister.When i had mc a few years back,people took great delight in telling me they "carried well" they had one child or that they got pregnant in the blink of an eye. How do they know that with only one child?
Best of luck.

I'm not surprised it cuts do deep. I'm sure I would feel the same. Maybe part of the reason she is thinking about trying again so quickly is because of the problems you've had. She knows only to well it's not always that easy.

OP, please disregard the comments from the two fuckwits, their views are certainly not representative of the sane, compassionate majority.

Ooh, my first deleted message.
raspberry no surprise that you feel like that. Use MN as a sounding board. However,given the ill informed responses of those with psychic powers, you may find it helpful to get this thread moved from AIBU

YANBU for feeling sad about your situation which I appreciate is very painful and you're not BU for wishing your sister wouldn't be so flippant about it but YABU for expecting her to read your mind. She probably is so wrapped up in it that she's totally forgotten. I don't know your sister (or you) but I'm sure she would be upset to know she is hurting you. Have a word or two with her. Make it light and short and let her know how you feel.

snowwombat - how do I go about moving it from AIBU ?

paintyoubynumbers I sincerely hope your friend has some better friends she can rely on.

wibbly and Lelainapierce you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Infertility is painful and its understandable if you feel jelous of your sister.

It is not always easy to plan when you have your children. A lot of it is luck.

I think you need to talk to your sister to tell her how her talking about babies is making you feel.

Raspberry, if you report your own post to MNHQ and ask them to move the thread, I'm sure they will oblige.

raspberry report your post and I hope they will help

Hello there,

We've moved the thread to 'Conception' and edited the title slightly to take out the AIBU reference.

MNHQ x

agree with this:

You need to find it in your heart to be more generous towards her I think. It is not her fault that you are going through this, it is not her fault she is 10 years younger than you and she should be able to talk to her sister about adding to her family. If you think she is being deliberately insensitive, that's another matter entirely.

Wow paintyou how lucky she must be to have you as a friend. God forbid that her miscarriages make you feel uncomfortable

wibbly and lelain do you have any idea how unfair and inappropriate your comments are?

OP I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I think it's probably the flippant way that some people talk about planning their family which grates. If only it was that easy.