TTC blues

[toomanydinosaurs]

I'm just wondering how does everyone stay positive whilst ttc? I just find the roller-coaster of AF, SWI, 2WW and BFN so heartbreaking. How does everyone cope with the constant BFNs? Does it get any easier?

Dinosours - I am not sure that it gets any easier, i think you just get used to the routine, roll your sleeves up and move onto the next cycle, with a lot more determination :) I am so used to seeing BFNs now that it doesn't really come as a shock anymore!!

Hi. It is shit isn't it? But, 11 cycles in, I don't feel as devastated as I did for the first 6 cycles, it kind of feels like ive just got to grit my teeth and keep battling onwards. I've started investigations and lunge from feeling that we are getting somewhere to looking into adoptions. The unknowing is the worst part. The 10 months plus thread has really helped me to not feel like I'm alone. I've also cut down my weeing on sticks a lot. Because, they aren't going to change the outcome and the one lonely line is a sad sight to behold. This month I've had to have a month off trying for a hsg and it has felt so much less stressful and the month has gone by much more quickly! Sorry I can't give any magic advice but please know that you are on very good company and I'm sure we'll all get there in the end. All the best to you xx

Can totally relate to everything everyone has said. After over 2 yrs + of ttc- now don't avoid certain foods or alcohol, refuse to do so until I see that BFP! but DO continue to take the folic acid. Try and enjoy each other, and all the other things you can do without babies/ small children; otherwise this ttc malarkey can become all encompassing. It's easier said than done, I know. Fingers crossed for your BFPs soon ladies. Try to keep it light hearted and fun. Keep yourself busy, with Dh, friends, hobbies, home or work. Failing that grab a good film/ go out and catch one at the cinema.

Oh its sooo rubbish isn;t it?

I practically blubbed walking on my local common yesterday as every 2nd person was either pushing a buggy or sporting a bump. It does not seem to be that difficult for anyone else (but of course you don;t know their stories!)

I'm with you farfalla. We were at a big fair The other day when af had come and it felt as if EVERYONE had babies/toddlers/buggies. I never noticed them before ttc. Sometimes when I think about the 1 in 7 infertility statistic I think, that can't be true, based on everyone I know. But who knows, maybe people don't say and being on MN for the past 4 months has revealed that I'm very far from being alone. It just feels like it.

wine some people are not honest though.

For example, one friend of mine tells everyone she got pregnant straight away when I know she was trying for 9 months

Since being open about my MCs, I have discovered so many friends who have gone through the same but you would never know.

I have decided to be very open with my friends about what is happening to us in the hope that if one person does not feel like they are only person in the world who has not got pregnant the first time they sniffed their DH's underpants it will have been worth it!

Farfalla and Whereismywine- we were at a fair over the summer and it seemed exactly as you say. I was questioning this out loud, and my Dh said that it was a kinda family past time attending fairs and not reflective of the whole population. Anyway...there was a lady there with a baby, who bumped into one of her friends. I overheard the friend say to her that she was pleased to see that she had finally managed to overcome her fertility problems. The mother replied that moving house and relaxing about ttc etc. had resulted in her miracle baby. That was quite revealing to me- even some people with children have had to overcome adversity in order to achieve their dream family. It is plain sailing for some, but for ones who find it difficult- well there's a fair few stories to be told there too! Sorry for the ramble!

Farfalla- I'm surprised with the number of friends who don't tell all as it were. Theta where MN steps in beautifully!

Theta= that's

I've been ttcing for almost 18 months and I feel exactly the same.At 35, I tend to be the only 'childless' person in any room and I've had to face some well-meaning (but equally annoying) comments along the lines of: "Are you planning on having any kids yourself?" from total strangers! Plus, I don't seem to be able to take a step forward without walking past pregnant women and babies. I try to focus on the road ahead and to think about the fact that I am doing everything in my power to aid the process but some days, you just feel like hanging in the towel and giving up altogether. As others have said, the truth is that many couples have problems conceiving: three of my close friends have had varying degrees of fertility issues and I know of others who have as well. As they say, it ain't over 'till it's over...there is support out there if we need it and in the meantime, we have to dust ourselves off and keep trying.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I guess after conceiving my DS quite easily I assumed this would be the same. However, after a mc and suspected cm and several months trying it's hit me that DC2 will take a while still. It's just so hard to come to grips with that fact. You can't really 'plan' these things. I wish you all the best with ttc and here's to all of us getting onto an antenatal board soon(ish) !