Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

[Summerbird73]

New thread for some serious metalling. We are ramping up the amps and churning out some Metallica, Nirvana, ACDC, Stone Temple Pilots... with the occasional 90's rave music!!

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us in the WTF cycles with the odd VIP ticket to the padded cell for some serious mentalling (now known as Metalling)

Welcome!

Baby loving your work!

And Blue sorry you've been upset by your text faux pas. Hopefully, the ones you sent the text to will know to be discrete?

Did I mention before that my extreme tiredness was lifting?? Wrong! Tues - Thus I felt less nauseous, and far less tired, then it hit me like a ten ton truck again today! I think, when you feel like that, you just have to rest, as it's so difficult actually getting work done, so good for you for having a chilled day.

IQ great to hear your 16 week check went well I can't wait to get there! (although, I obviously have no choice but to wait). and for your friend too. What a long and difficult journey she has been on.
I am rhesus -ve too btw. Just means an extra jab during pg and another after, if your DH is +ve that is. And, yes, where is Marathon ?? Hope all is still well with her.

I just ate a fudge donut and now have the most awful heartburn.

missg I just feel absolutely exhausted!!! I've done nothing all day (except send wrong texts!!) and still feel as though I could fall fast, fast asleep!! But...keep telling myself this is a good thing so keeping up the PMA DH assures me that the text isn't as obvious as I thought and that most people wouldn't read past the Morning Fred bit as would assume I'd sent it to them by accident I'm not so sure but they are all fairly discreet so here's hoping they either a) haven't figured it out or b) if they have, just keep it to themselves!!

That's agood point Mr Blue makes . My boss is off sick at the mo so I had to tell a bigger boss about pg today, as I felt too sick to make the 2.5 hour journey (including train and station change) to our head office this morning. But I know he'll keep it to himself, which is something - we do work for a Trade Union afterall!

oh god i just jumped on for a quick catch up and was reading this thinking 'yep baby needs to test' and hey presto!! whoopeeeee excellent news muchos congratulations!!!!

poppy i just want to say i am with you, i stared at the blood on my knickers for ages at my last AF, i just felt sooo numb. Including my MC in March and CP in August we have been TTC for 10 months also, it is shite isnt it? But look at all the BFPs we have had lately, TBH reading this thread and all the BFP's doesnt make me jealous it makes me hopeful we are going to do this

IQ i have every Friday off now i am part time. This morning we went to Sainsbo's then my friends house, rushed back for lunch then IKEA. So we have had a busy day but DS is now giggling at his Mr Men DVD DH is out tonight so i am having a pizza and some wine. I am in the 2WW so should be taking it easy but we only SWI on CD9 and 12, although i O'd on CD11 so we should be in circa the right place.

I am over my wibble from earlier this week, god it was awful, i am hoping that is the last of it, my friend i visited this morning MCd twins at 16 weeks a few years ago so she is good comfort. We had a good natter and lots of jaffa cakes so all is well

blue so sorry about your multiple text issue it is done now but have a muffin as consolation

Summer until, er, this afternoon I was the same - all the BFP's made me feel more positive rather than just envious and wanting to shut myself away. While the amount of time it can take TTCing is horrid it is also, I find, an amazing help to 'talk' to people in the same boat, with the same neurosis. Also, I think me and DH only SWI on two days in the week I thought we should be doing (not using Fertility Friend or anything) and, as DH said earlier, it only takes once!

Talking of which, I have told DH. I dropped heavy hints but, while kind of interested, he is too focused on building a cupboard. Knowing him (well, ^men) I would have had to drop heavier and heavier hints for at least a week before he suggested we test, which wouldn't be great so I went out and pretended I did one and then called him. He is pleased, but we are also quite cautious due to what happened last time. Roll on December I think!

God, I'm tired. Feel like I have had a massive run or similar and am now in the post exercise knackeredness. In RL I have not done much more than some light walking and sitting on a train.

summer glad you are feeling a bit better

baby take it easy but you will be FINE, there is no reason why this should go wrong, look at IQ MissG Manda Marathon Blue yada yada yada! they are all doing just peachy keen jellybean

Morning y'all.... I know it's only 7.28am but we've been up since 5.45am today DS is poorly (and was adament that no calpol would pass his lips last night ) but he seems lively enough this morning.

I am getting my hair coloured this morning,whoop! A nice treat I thought, get it done before you get a bfp and end up having grey roots for 1st tri! PMA PMA PMA

How is everybody this morning?

manda (font of all knowledge!) can B6 bring ovulation forward? I normally don't ov until CD17 or thereabouts but got a +opk this morning on CD13 (luckily we SWI last night) i've only been taking it for 2 days though. Pre m/c my ov date was bang on CD16 but has been all over the shop since which i'm trying not to mildly panic about!

baby ditto what summer has said! Look at all of the positive bumps on this thread so far! Just take it easy on the DIY front and get DH to do all the hard work :)

Sorry for lack of name checking, just wanted to quickly post! DS causing havoc and DP has gone for a (very early) morning surf. DS's latest thing is doing the washing up (!) hence I have a very wet kitchen floor and very wet DS!

Happy Saturdays everyone xxx

Hey pie Ah, littluns washing up. Yeah, great 'fun'! I never let mine do it [mean mummy emotion] but exDH's mum would. One time DD happily told her (after being left to wash up for a few minutes) that she had picked all the scouring bit off of the sponge because it was scratchy on her hands

Anyway! Wrt the B6, I've certainly read about how for many women it brings forward their O by the same amount that it lengthens the lp. But I've just checked your charts and this is 'only' cycle five since the loss, right? (I seriously don't count the actual loss cycle, here known as wtf - and for good reason ) I say 'only' - I KNOW it feels like forever - but I took five cycles to regulate. And I wonder if our advanced materal age means we just do take a little longer to straighten out?

Either way - you're O'ing (it seems!) earlier, so woo hoo! Make sure you swi today and tomorrow too if poss and... believe this can happen for you. As much as tests have their place and value, when your cd21/7dpo tests were coming back as 'not ovulated' I had to wonder about how truly accurate they were when your chart is showing a CLEAR thermal shift.

Me? I've been feeling pretty sick this last week, but had a screaming fight with DP last night, I just went absolutely potty (justifiably so, imho) and this morning I feel fine. So, naturally, I'm thinking the awful stress has done it's worst.

Off to eat now that the thought of it doesn't make me wanna curl up in a ball crying!

Morning all - hope you are feeling well......just getting on to say I desperately want a roast dinner - I don't even know where that idea has come from but to be honest the more I think about it the less strange it feels to me.

Currently watching birth type programmes and a woman is having an anti D injection. As someone not too keen I feel a bit better about the possibility but then I suppose the camera didn't go too close up so it might be a lot bigger than it's seems on the tv.......

baby just hang in there, take everyday as a blessing and hold onto your DH you will be a massive support to each other over the coming weeks....also you have all of us here who are bumps post MC so we know how you feel.

summer I totally forgot about your 4 day week.......so but then I suppose I have a nice 14 month break to look forward to when this little one arrives. I'm off to the shops to go and look at some baby things - because I can and have money in the baby account, which really wants to be spent.......that is my story and I'm sticking to it !!! what's on the card for the weekend?

MissG I fully agree on the symptoms coming and going - I have felt really good for a week or so before hand and then on Wednesday I puked......these symptoms are sneaky and seem to catch you when your least aware of it. Hope your having a chilled out weekend to recover from your tiredness.

blue sorry to hear about your text drama but hopefully as the other ladies have said they will stay quiet about it or not bothered to read on - if I get accidental messages I don't bother to read on as I assume they are from weird companies trying to sell me crap I don't want!!!

pie new hair sounds brilliant - just the sort of thing to help pick you up. I have my flu jab today.....not looking forward to that but am thinking of going to have my nails and feet done as a well done for being brave......not that I have been brave yet but these things really do need to be booked ahead .

Right now who have I missed - lots of ladies - big wave to shimmery, poppy, marathon, pixie, eve, pebs and Manda - right must dash as want to get into town before my flu jab!!!

Love to all xxxx

Thank you everyone. I think pointing out that those of us who have had super sticky jellybeans post MC rather than the other way round rammed it home to me. While there are obviously no guarantee's, it also doesn't mean that the chances are this will go wrong either.

Have just cleaned the house and am now exhausted. Was going to write a long post but now, sorry, I don't have the energy. I hopefully will in a bit though.

Morning all

Sorry I have been AWOL. our lap top died so have to get my arse upstairs to my work one which has drastically reduced my internet time.

PIE: really sorry to hear about your news, fingers crossed the appointment on monday brings you good news.

PEB: good to have a plan, fingers crossed you get your BFP in the new year.

IQ: 16 weeks already where has that time gone. Hope you are looking after yourself and spending lots of money

BABY: BFP that is fantastic. Again take it easy listen to your body and rest when you need to.

BLUE, SHIMMERY and POPPY hope you are all feeling a bit brighter. This thread and the others before it show that your BFP really are not far away. Although I do understand how fed up it makes you. (Blue baby brain will improve)

DP is home this week and a little less stressed. He phoned in the week and asked how I was I told him I felt sick and he asked why! Silly sod had forgot. We agreed to just be relaxed about it till we get to 12 weeks. Have booked a GP appointment for half term. My next day off so will be around 8 weeks then. hopefully

Feeling sick all the time, which I know is a blessing but wish it would lighten up a bit. And sore boobs.

Life is a little calmer in the Eve household. We have a meeting with the school on Monday not looking forward to that, but they are there to help and hopefully DS will settle more in time.

I have a my appraisal on 18th and will be asking to work till 3pm so that will help the child care problem and once DS has settled more into school maybe try the after school club again. Well that is what I will tell work, hopefully I will be going on Mat leave April ish time. Just wait and see.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend we are relaxing at home, going to walk the dog and throw a chicken in the over as i can't face cooking or food right now.

Morning all!!!

eve glad to see you back and hoping that your cunning plan works to give you a little breathing space. baby glad to see your getting your PMA face on and hoping everything carries on well for you.

So I went shopping and got quite a few cute bits in H&M my favourite is a sleep suit which says "never too small to rock".....I totally love it!!!

I do need a little help with something ladies - any ideas on the following:

Been having a think this weekend about what I will do once the baby arrives. I used to love my job and it meant so much to me. I gave it everything and kind of expected the same treatment back when I got pg. My boss continues to be a pain in the arse - doesn't want me to do the reduced hours the Dr suggested, won't accept that the H&S guy doesn't have to see me to tell her that I'm stressed as I'm fully trained and know what needs to be done ect ect. Now I feel like I just can't be bothered with any of it - I feel really hurt and quite let down that I'm desperately trying to look after my baby and myself while DH is away but they just want to 'have meetings and discuss matters' rather than actually doing something about any of it.

I'll get over a year off if I can save enough money before march but I don't think I even want to go back and I don't know how I'm going to cope staying there until the end of February. I feel like I used to be so capable, I would never say 'no' to anything or refuse a task and could i do so much in a work day but this pregnancy has really changed all that - and to be honest I think those changes are for the better. My focus is on my baby and my marriage and to be honest I just don't care about work anymore. Did this happen to anyone else? Or am I going through a 'career woman' crisis????

Morning all

IQ - you should do whatever you need to to keep yourself and mini-IQ happy and healthy. Bosses are generally useless for this (case in point being one of my colleagues who has now been hospitalised due to the stress work puts her under twice within a month - they can't seem to get the idea that being pregnant plus 70 hour weeks is just wrong). You are the most important person right now. I also think that, in the grand scheme of things, work is much less important than family.

Pie - glad DS is feeling better.

I've had quite an exciting weekend, as I made my first ever dress. It is rather fabulous even if I do say so myself. It's for a wedding I'm going to next weekend - so I had to spend all this weekend doing it. :)

Morning

IQ I second what shimmery said - work is FAR less important than your family in the grand scheme of things. As a "retired" city lawyer I can sympathise with the career woman crisis feeling! I decided to take the maximum maternity leave (which was 12 months for me) so I could give motherhood a few months and see how I felt. It was definitely worth doing that as it became pretty clear very quickly that my priorities had completely changed.

I am not saying that motherhood and a career are mutually exclusive, absolutely not, just that for me I know I couldn't have done my job and at the basic level even see my DS during the week the kind of hours I would have been expected to work would have meant getting childcare for daytime and early evening so basically I would have the weekends with DS which I just couldn't accept.

My work did offer part time work but having worked with colleagues with small children I know that in reality they just expected full time work in part time hours and still expected you to attend all of the corporate functions etc in the evenings.

For me it was just not worth the sacrifice - I am only 30 and I know some would say I was too early on in career to give it up and that it is a waste of the number of years of studying etc I did to get to where I was but to be honest all of that means nothing compared to what it means to me to be able to spend time with DS as he grows up

I really don't mean that to be a criticism of anyone who does work and have a family, I think that that is amazing but I do think that the decision is different for everyone and you have to do what you feel comfortable with (and can afford of course - I know I am extremely lucky to have the choice)

I am working part time from home for my dad's company at the moment and I think I will go back to something full time in a few years but I may re-train to do something else definitely won't be going back to the city!

Anyway, sorry for going on and on.....

Morning all...

shimmery I'm impressed at your dress making skills!!!

IQ I agree with posts above re. your work. I'm many weeks behind you but already can feel my attitude to my work changing...it can also demand lots of hours and attention at times and I really can't be doing with it and it's a role that won't work part time very well either so I'm already starting to think about other options (I will need to do some work due to financial situation) but intend to take a full year off to start with.

eve your plan sounds good

I am feeling grim this morning, just had my first 'office toilet puking session' and now sat quietly at my desk wondering how I'm going to get through the day I am pleased to have the symptoms as didn't feel anywhere near this sick last time but it is hard work and I am wondering how I'm going to cope with another (at least) 5 weeks of this as only 7 weeks tomorrow

Nice advice from shimmery, IQ. I would add that, yes, perfectly usual for priorities to shift - we're programmed, biologically, to invest fully in our offspring. Of course, we're also conditioned, by society, to be more than 'just' a child-bearer. Aren't we supposed to not only want it all, but be perfectly capable of achieving it? As many of us find out, actually, no. To be a child bearer, there's nothing 'just' about it. It's a very, very valid choice - indeed, isn't it actually what life is truly all about (at a biological level)?

All I would say is that once you're past the intense first year or two, you may find you'll be wanting the stimulation of work again (and when I say work, read: also adult conversation and to feel like a person instead of just a mummy) But for most women, I don't think that means returning to a demanding/stressful work environment (unless it's financially necessary) because, as said, your priorities have shifted. It's nice if work can complement who you are, rather than define you.

Of course, this isn't true for everyone; definitely not a black or white issue - lots of room for shades of grey and what will be right for you might not be right for anyone else you know. But that it's right for you is what matters.

Well, my ropey feeling has returned somewhat. Strange, and it makes no logical sense, but I didn't take my pregnacare for a few days and that coincided with me feeling either normal/fine or MUCH better than I was... I took them again last night before bed and feel crap today. Hmmmm. Anyway, I contacted the hospital again today who STILL don't have my referral from the dr for maternity services/epu (dr's refaxed the referral last week after I contacted them). But the epu have booked me an appointment regardless for Wednesday morning. I'll be glad to be reassured everything is ok after such a sudden decline in symptoms (happened last time ).

Sorry, I meant nice advice from shimmery AND Poppy

Baby brain?

Afternoon all,

Busy weekend of shopping for wedding outfit, puking, visiting family, heartburn, babysitting, puking ... you get the picture.

So, Blue you have my every sympathy. Although, like you, I was actually quite pleased about the severity of my symptoms. Although..... can't say I'm too pleased with the awful spots I have developed at the side of my nose and on my chin. I have never had spots! And Dr Google basically said that some women have acne throughout their entire pg, but it usually clears up after the baby is born!! WTF??? So, now I can't even look forward to the 2nd trimester bloom, as I am going to look like a spotty teenager for the next 7.5 months! Oh well, it will be worth it in the end.

IQ I agree, I am far less inclined to let myself get stressed out over work, but I have what can be a stressful job at time, so I empathise with you. I feel less bothered about work whereas, before, I had embarked enthusiastically on projects (over and above my normal responsibilities)and was set on an exceeded come January appraisal time. Now, I feel like I couldn't care less! Am still going through the motions, but my heart isn't in it.
Do you know anyone who could accompany you to the next meeting (a TU rep for example), someone removed from the situation who could force some action points out of the next meeting, and try to make your managers comply with the H&S legislation that is there - after all - to protect you and your baby? I suppose only you can be the judge of how successful that approach may or may not be. But, it sounds as though your managers lack of understanding, and lack of appropriate action, may be contributing to how you are feeling. It is very possible that had your managers made it easier for you to return on reduced hours, to accommodate your current health issues, you would be feeling less insecure about your work situation right now. As an aside, if you are entitled to occupational mat pay, there is almost always a clause tying you into returning to work, otherwise you are required to repay your mat pay. That might be worth while checking out if you're seriously considering not going back. Hope you are ok otherwise.

Manda good news about the scan, although pretty annoying you had to chase it though.

Eve glad to hear thungs are a bit more chilled for you just now.

Well, we have booked a private scan for Wed afternoon. Am too paranoid and impatient to wait until the NHS one (which is next Thur).

Hi everyone else. Have heard my inbox ping about 12 times since writing this, so better get back to work for now.

IQ that was such a timely question for me. I went back to work part time when DS was 9 months old. I did 3 days a week, but i transferred departments as i wanted less stress, so i am now doing a less demanding job. My boss was very sympathetic and has so far been lovely when i have had to ring in for a last minute day off when DS is sick etc

That is something you need to consider though, will they be sympathetic if you need to be called away from work if nursery/childminder need you to come home? i am having a few ishoos at the mo as my new manager is less sympathetic than the first one. i am seriously considering what kind of work i can do from home - ie completely change career i am at a real crossroads at the mo...

Whatever you do you must do it for you and mini iq. FWIW your boss sounds like a twat

waves to everyone - sorry again for the rushed message but i am trying to get everything done at work today before a potential day off tomorrow with sicky DS

Jeez, please ignore all the typos and bad grammar/punctuation, overuse of words etc.

Hello all,
I am in full Metal Mode - is there some room in the padded VIP area? Until just this minute, the horrid taste I have had had gone. I was therefore, while trying to convince myself to think of something, anything, else convinced things had gone tits up. I know this is ridiculous, and I also know there is a far higher chance of things going right rather than wrong (at least as far as I am aware) but I think this is going to be quite tough! I am taking each day as it comes blah blah blah but it is hard to not have these niggling thoughts at the back of one's head. God knows what I'll be like when we finally get to a scan!!

Re the work discussions everyone has been having today, this is one, well the main, reason I work for myself! I realised a long time ago that I would rather be able to tweak things to suit rather than be at the beck and call of someone else (in my case, the magazine editor). I see work as a way of enabling me to do the things I enjoy rather than a lifestyle in itself (I did, by the way, have a 'good' job as a features writer in a national mag) which didn't suit the environment I was in. I realise not everyone can work for themselves, and while the money can be a bit crap sometimes, I have never regretted leaving.

Not sure if the above paragraph was relevant or had any point to it or not. Am suddenly very very tired. Zzzzzzzzz

baby I am totally with you about working for yourself - I wish I could think of something that would enable me to do this! My dream is to be a writer - I have notebooks stuffed full of bits and pieces for about 6 different novels....maybe one day At least at the moment doing bits and pieces for my dad enables me to have a bit of extra money coming in and he is really understanding and flexible (well he has to be really, he's my dad!) but I know that in the long run once DS and any other children we have are out of the toddler stage I will want to do something more. Definitely not lawyering though...good grief no. It is wonderful not to have to wear tights and smart pointy shoes everyday, not sure I could go back to that

Sorry you are feeling wobbly about everything I know I would be the same...

Well I am feeling totally fed up - had the weekend from hell with my tantrumy toddler and was a hormonal weeping wreck by Sunday night. Some part of me was a bit pleased that we had a difficult weekend though as DH now knows exactly what I mean when I tell him I have had a bad day!

Those of you with DC already, tell me this is a phase and will pass....please.....

On the TTC front I am CD4 and now taking Vit B complex (100mg) and 800mg of Agnus Castus a day plus my pregnacare. Feel a bit odd taking so many pills but I hope they do some good. I would be very interested to hear more about other people's experiences with these (sorry I know that some of you have already talked about this, hope you don't mind repeating)

Anyone else considering the agnus castus, they had a half price offer in Holland and Barratt...

Off to bath a very sticky DS and then once he's in bed it will be feet up and watch Spooks on iplayer. I lead such an exciting life !