Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 18)

[Summerbird73]

New thread for some serious metalling. We are ramping up the amps and churning out some Metallica, Nirvana, ACDC, Stone Temple Pilots... with the occasional 90's rave music!!

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us in the WTF cycles with the odd VIP ticket to the padded cell for some serious mentalling (now known as Metalling)

Welcome!

Ooooh, I am now intriguied about the NCT and their fanatic breastfeeding / no c-sec policies! I do realise that breastmilk is best blah blah blah but hate this bullying, from what it seems, to make people do it. My cousins girlfriend said she had the health visitor look at her in horror when she said she was considering mixing both formula and breast, and this was when the baby was 8 weeks, because she was getting exhausted and also wanted my cousin to be able to take over a bit with the feeding occassionally. She later saw a GP (presumably for something else) who said that before she had her baby she was exclusive breastfeeding all the way, but now she has a child of her own she is a lot more open minded and thinks the approach easiest for the parents is by far the best. And it's not like FF babies are shrivelled skinny things while breastfed one's are big bouncers is it?

Glad to hear your c-sec too was okay, Marthas. Thanks to everyone who's telling me things like this, as it's a reasonable (I am guessing) possibility it is good to get some positive angles. Still think I'd be terrified but I suppose almost everyone is, aren't they? Being cut open while awake isn't a daily occurance after all.

Am now going to Google parent craft groups...

baby i know which area you live in but cant work out who your Primary Care Trust are, are you Calderdale? Anyway i would talk to your MW about the NHS Parent Craft classes, you should get them free through your PCT. I found them really good and made a good group of mates i-got pissed with them only just this friday gone

My friend went to NCT and to be fair has made loads of friends through it but she wasnt impressed with the actual classes.

Go onto Pregnancy topic and see if there are any NCT threads, if not create one to ask about them. Disclaimer - could turn into a bunfight

baby a friend of mine had what sounded like a lovely c-section experience with her twins. As it was planned she hadn't had to go through hours of labour prior to the surgery so she was rested and calm, and so were the team who did the surgery. The doctors were very good at encouraging skin to skin contact as soon as the babies were born (and had been checked out) and they made sure she saw them when they were still all sticky . Her husband took some photos (not of the gory bits mind you) and all in all it sounded like a very gentle entrance into the world for her little ones. There can be some fantastic birth experiences even with the extreme end of "medicalised birth" so if that is what you end up having just keep that in mind I think the best approach to birth is to explore what you would like to happen, but also to keep a very open mind. At the end of the day the safe arrival of your child is the outcome everyone wants.

blue I can't blame this on babybrain just yet (maybe "fertility-drug brain" ?) but I have just done something akin to your Tesco mishap...just ordered DS Christmas present from Amazon last week - I hasn't arrived so I checked my email for the tracking number..tracked parcel and guess what, delivered to an address I lived in 5 years ago. Obviously for some reason that came up as the default delivery address and I didn't notice.... BAH! Just ordered another and hopefully whoever lives there now will return it to the post office or something. Thankfully wasn't anything too expensive (£25 ish) but still sooooo annoyed with myself.

Well.....and I am sure you all really want to know this.......my side effects got a tad worse last night. I had felt ok all day (bit nauseous but manageable) but I had to get up twice in the night with a terrible upset stomach so I feel so tired and drained today. DH was so lovely about it this morning though - I promised him I wouldn't go out and he said he expected me to be snuggled up in bed with my book when he got home from work

That's all very well of course but I have the small matter of DS to look after....I feel it may be a Cbeebies day for us today....

Happy first of December all! Hope the advent calendars are out in force for those who partake!

A bunfight? Eeeek! Maybe namechange first

Yes, I am in Calderdale. Will google in a bit (currently wasting time on guilty pleasure, the Daily Mail website - such arse, but strangely compelling, especially the 'comments' sections at the end of articles)

X posted with Poppy! I am trying to keep an open mind, I really am, and I think it will be fine but I guess it's so far from what I would actually 'want' (if I wasn't fucking diabetic) that it's taking a while to get my head around. I guess it's better to start now rather than in, hopefully, seven months time.

Er... SIX months time. Or even FIVE months time, I mean!

What a bugger about feeling so sick. Sounds crap. Is it def the metformin then?

yes, the consultant did warn me about it. Really hoping it won't last long. I am encouraged by the fact that I am on relatively high dose and compared to some people the side effects appear to be mild!

Blimey.
Hopefully once its kicking in properly you'll be fine then. Am presuming it works like that anyway (no idea, clearly)

That's the theory! Some people are on it for the long term so it must get better

If it stays like this then I am sure I can cope - I just have to keep in mind what I am taking it for! if it can (a) get my cycle back to normal and (b) when I do conceive again help to make sure it sticks then I am sure I can suffer any number of side effects

poppy that was a beautiful post about C Sections

My story is; DS was breech circa 34 weeks and they said if he didnt get a move on then they would try and manually turn him (by squishing my belly which i would have refused as apparantly it hurts). If that didnt work they would book me in for a CSection. I wasnt worried as my friend had two CS and was fine.

Anyway - DS moved round circa 36 weeks. So i had to hang on to 12 days overdue before they would induce me So they induced me at 40+12 but my waters didnt break and i was never dilated, despite 8 hours of contractions

To cut a long story short after all that they gave me a CS anyway. DS was a mahoosive 9lb15oz and looked like a grown man by the time he was born

I wish they had just let me go for a CS in the first place as that is where we got to in the end, and i wouldnt have had to wait an extra two weeks. AND we were both absolutely fine. Anyway DS has been a liddle ray of sunshine ever since

However pie thats the last time i give you advice on 'phases' - the little minx had us awake all night with his coughing!! sooooo tired!

Marthas yours was a lovely story about a c-sec too! I am wondering about looking into the possibility of a c-sec as I am thinking this may well end up being the end result with me too. I don't want one, I would much rather have one the traditional way, but I also do have, at the back of my mind, that all the inducing may not work as it will be early and I'll end up with an emergency one which may, correct me if I am wrong, be worse than a planned. I did, briefly, ask the obstretician (I realise that's spelt wrong, I can never spell it properly) who said I should be induced regardless of diabetic control, how many of these earlier inductions end up with an emergency c-sec and she said 'well, actually a good percentage are sucessful.' Looking back, I am wondering if her choice of wording was a bit suspect. As I get further along and things are looking more 'viable' I am going to ask more about induction sucess rates etc and start to weigh things up.

My second to worst scenario is a c-sec and my first worst is an emergency one, and I, obviously, don't want either but the idea of being exhausted after failed inductions and then having one anyway sounds pretty grim too.

Hopefully, any investigations will show that actually the number of sucessful, intervention free, births after early induction is very high indeed and I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Sure thing Marthasharbour.

Though see my aforementioned self inflicted POAS ban.

No POAS until after Christmas, whatever happens (medical emergencies excepted)

Approx 5-6DPO today - expecting AF 7th Dec.

Will be strangely happy if AF shows up as it'll mean a Merry Christmas

Afternoon all, I turn my back for 5 mins and you have filled 2 pages. Hope everyone has opened their 1st advent window??

Poppy - so pleased the appointment went well and you have come out with what you had hoped for. Really hope the drugs settle down and you are feeling better soon

Manada - hope you are ok, fully understand your anxiety as certain dates come up. I held my breath til the 12 week scan and still not really thinking about it but my tummy is taking over so will have to start telling people soon. Hoping to wait til 20 week scan on 10th Jan. have 2 weeks at work then off for Christmas back on 4th so all being well people will just think I ate all the pies till then.

Peb - I do understand you want to get going on TTC and each pg is different my first 2 were fine in the early days. This one has been a nightmare and still feel sick most of the time now at 14 weeks. The thought of travelling etc would of had me running for the hill. Esp the early weeks. Enjoy your trip make the most of it because next time you will have your hands full :-)

Leedy Hope you are soon feeling better and have got rid of your chest infection.

Blue - glad you have rested up after your terrible week last week, is their anyone you can feed back to about how awful it was? Tesco shopping twice is a classic hope it gets better for you?

Baby will be thinking of you on Monday i am sure the scan will be fine. I understand you are anxious about the delivery but you will be in good hands I am sure. I was in labour for 52 hours. Once you get to the point of no return you really don't care how they get them out. I did not get offered antenatal classes they were over booked. Although I wasn't bothered about the actually classes I really struggled with no mummy friends and was very isolated and depressed. Make sure you have good people around you and have lots of support.

Pie - bloated I know just how you feel. As I have dieted all year I have eaten far to much rubbish - really wishing I hadn't now feeling very fat and uncomfortable - hoping to get through til after Christmas then will get mat clothes out of the attic - although they are all summer ones so not so sure anything will be suitable. Hope the bedtime routine settles down soon.

Manada - that is one big baby! :-)

Nothing new to report here can't wish the next 2 weeks away quick enough really looking forward to Christmas with ds this year.

Thanks folks! Chest infection finally seems to be going thanks to weapons-grade antibiotics, and I can now envisage a world without coughing. Would be great to have it all cleared up and be fighting fit before I start TTC.

I did an "active birth workshop" when I was pg with DS, and was actually pleasantly surprised at how non-dogmatic they were - while there was a lot of stuff about techniques for natural birth, they also talked pretty honestly about interventions and how, yes, sometimes they're absolutely necessary and the best thing for you and baby. Pity some of the NCT classes are more rigid, from the sounds of it.

Oh, and I had an emergency C with DS (he was a)9lbs 7oz and b)facing upwards - a "stargazer baby", as the midwife put it) after a very long labour, and while it wasn't ideal I made a pretty quick recovery. Would prefer a natural delivery if we do get to go again (just because recovery from major abdominal surgery is still kind of bleurgh even if it all goes well) but won't beat myself up about it.

Hiiii there, nice to meet you - loved your description of 'stargazing baby'

Lordy, so much to catch up on! Will have to save it for later while curled up on sofa. In the meantime, hello everyone, hope all is well. Getting nervous about testing in the morning for dh's b'day, mainly because I'm not convinced there's much of a chance and am dreading that :(:(:( moment when a bfn comes up!

oh wellies you never know. And of course a Christmas with wine and without vomiting/exhaustion is a decent enough second prize (for me, anyway).

I second what MSScarlett said Wellies but GOOD LUCK! xxx

scarlett nice way to look at it :) thank you

Just caught up on the days and pages of activity. Busy lot, aren't you!

I didn't ever do NCT. There was the first time parents nhs thingy we went to first time round but all I remember about that was being asked to go back to tell the scared pregnant ladies of our madly long labour with resulting "emergency" c-section (by emergency in that case they really meant "she is so utterly exhausted we'd better get this baby out for her next time the theatre is free" ). I made most of my parent friend in toddler groups after ds1 was born, really. You adjust, don't you, to where you are in life. Most of current parent friends are, naturally, through school.

My second c-section was actually a "proper" emergency because ds2's heartbeat dropped suddenly and they had to whip out straight away (which they did in what seemed like record time, all hands on deck). So personally I am all for the less natural childbirth methods if they save lives. Every day I am thankful that I live in a time in history where medical progress means my sons (and I, actually!) are still alive. If I am lucky enough to fall pregnant again, I will be having an elective c-section, as per the "doctor's orders", and I am quite at peace with that birth plan.

Wellies and others who've had sections, how did you find the recovery? Other than the trapped wind (what causes that) of course.

baby the recover was ok, quicker than I expected to be honest. Immediately after my surgery when I was wheeled back to the ward with DS I felt like I ought to be in hospital for a good few days I felt so immobile. But it wasn't like that at all, DS was born at 10pm, and by lunchtime the next day I was up (with a bit of help) and had a shower and they took the dressing off and the catheter out. By that evening I was able to walk (slowly) by myself go to the loo etc. They give you painkillers so its not that you are in pain so much, for me the worst bit was fear of pain IYSWIM. I felt like anything and everything was going to bash the scar. It didn't of course, but you feel you have to be so careful with yourself.

The day after that, so after second night post delivery I would say I had pretty much normal (but slow) mobility. I found that sticking one of those hospital issue mega-sanitary pads to the inside of the waist band of your knickers facing against the scar meant I was less worried about clothes rubbing etc.

Once I was home I had to be reminded to take it easy to be honest, I was still walking slowly and carefully but after a few days I felt pretty normal. At least I could sit down comfortably unlike some of my friends who had lots of stitches after their "normal" births

The most painful thing was the trapped wind, I think when they sew you up after the birth they must trap some air inside or something? Not really sure but it was like having a stitch in your side, or cramp or something.

Going to the loo was interesting but only because I was scared to erm...exert too much pressure in that general area. It didn't hurt as such.

They took the wound stitch out on about day 5 and after that I felt much better. The skin was pulled very taut with the stitch in but everything felt more relaxed after that.

It was so much better than I had thought it would be, I would say that in the long run I had a quicker and better recovery than some of my friends who had had normal births (mainly due to the neat and clean nature of the wound and its location!). One of the things that kept me feeling a bit ropey after the surgery was that I had lost quite a lot of blood so I was very anaemic, but that was because I had had an emergency section, I had picked up an infection in the hospital and my bp went up etc etc (that's another story) so I was quite poorly as well as coping with the surgery. Even taking that into account it was really fine.

You can barely see the scar now. If it came to it that I was advised to have an second c-section (planned) I would be absolutely fine with that

Its all a bit of a blur now - even a few weeks after the birth the memory fades a bit, you have so much to ficus on with your little one that the birth is put to the back of your mind only to come flooding back in glorious technicolor on your child's first birthday

Morning all feeling rather sick again this morning, thought it had passed but cue breakfast returning this morning, trying not to be frustrated and be that it is a sign that beany is probably all ok IYSWIM as been having some mini-panics this week! Can't remember who asked but I've tried talking to my boss and his boss about how tough last week was and got zilch, nothing, nada of any form of understanding type response, and even had to stay here until 8:45pm on Weds to get a post-bid response finished and still didn't get any real thanks for it so am feeling rather fed up with work at the moment! No point going to HR either as they are useless! But since I want to be able to come back part time post DC1 (and currently my job doesn't work as a part time role so it's going to need some creative thinking to sort that out) I don't want to rock the boat too much so just need to keep smiling and plodding on really which is a bit of a pain!

I must admit I've skipped over the various discussions about birth and CS as I am happily staying in denial about how beany will actually get out at the moment!!

wellies I wonder how you got on this morning? I hope you have a lovely day for DH's birthday regardless of ths result though!

baby how are you feeling about Monday looming up now?

Think I'm going to have to go and try and convince the canteen to let me in early (doesn't open for another hour) as I think I may need some toast now as having lost all my breakfast I'm starting to feel hungry again, v frustrating!! Catch up again a bit later...

Poppy some details aside, yours is exactly the kind of c-sec recovery story I want to hear! Thank you!

Blue as you ask, I think I have relapsed back into metalling mode with the scan looming on Monday. I am tired, but I am also very busy and out all the time, which would make most people tired and I haven't felt that sick for a while either. I have been eating little and often which is probably, or possibly, why but I still can't relax properly. I just want to have had the scan and it to be over, and then I know - I think not knowing is awful! The stupid thing is, I actually have no proper reason to think things have gone tits up, none at all, but its almost like I am looking for one sometimes. I think the fact that the 12 week scan the last time was disasterous isn't helping, in fact it is bringing it all back and maybe thats where the problem lies. I know all this fussing is pretty irrational though, and try to keep telling myself that, but there are also no guarantee's it will actually be fine either which also keeps pushing its way to the forefront of my mind. Argh!

I know some of you ladies have been the same before your 12 week scan so I guess its inevitable, and I am also consoling myself with the fact that your scans were all okay.

Bet you wish you'd never asked now!

Off to paint me nails black, and get my leather trousers and biker jacket out...

baby the metalling is perfectly normal, I was really dreading my 12w scan even though everything had been ok at 8w, it was just that it was the same time we found out it had all gone wrong last time which makes it so difficult! Thinking of you...

Managed to get some toast so starting to feel a bit more alive again...

Blue my scan was all good at 9 weeks too, and am just the same as you - I think it would be harder IF (not likely, not likely etc etc) it showed it had gone wrong too as I've seen him/her and their little heartbeat.

Am seriously wondering about, if it all goes okay on Monday, getting a doppler but I am also wondering if that is where madness lies...

Another thing (sorry!) am now off the idea of breakfast as I want to see if I start feeling sick due to lack of food.

Am turing into a total muppet.

Must get a grip.