Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

anyone trying for a big fat positive in January 06?

1805 replies

IsawPussycatmommakissingsanta · 09/12/2005 10:36

Right then girlies..........I know i cant be the only one! If you cant wait to get Christmas out of the way so you can start ttc in January, sign up here! all our ttc threads seem to have gone v. quiet lately, im drummng up business for the luckiest, most hopeful, positive thread for 2006 babydust essential if you can do it! Come on, get your names down, January is a long dark month you know!

OP posts:
pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 21:42

you are all lovely..
i feel like i dont deserve nice people like you...

trace2 · 10/01/2006 21:43

oh i wish i lived nearer to you, i feel for you,all i can say go back on leave, or maybe after some time out look for diffrent job

trace2 · 10/01/2006 21:45

please stay and chat for a while

peachygirl · 10/01/2006 21:45

I agree with Trace and ... life is too short to be unhappy in your job , we work to live not live to work ( how corny is that!!)
what did the union rep say?

trace2 · 10/01/2006 21:47

not corny true

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 21:49

thing is i really really like my job, and i know when i am well and ok, i am good at it and i love the people i work with. lots of friends. job is basically a good one.
all this upheaval has come since new line manager. i dont like confrontation and tbh she frightens me.
i am not very confident in situations where i have to stick up for myself. Not at all.
my friends were all lovely today and really supportive, but i feel like i have all the old feelings comign back, and that is wehn i find it hard to cope, and that is wehn i end up selfharming again....i so want to be able to stop adn to be "good enough" in my mind to be a good mum... i am trying so so hard to deal with things and to get on with things and not let work get the better of me.
i am so sorry to unload on you all i know this isnt really right tinme or place. its just been so horrible today

northerner · 10/01/2006 21:54

Pussycat I don't know you at all and you sound lovely but perhaps you have a problem with being assertive? You should stand up for yourself at work, be polite but firm. Don't let people walk all over you and don't allow your boss to make you feel like this. If yiu have a problem with her can you go to HR or would that be difficult?

trace2 · 10/01/2006 21:55

pussycat if you like your job, dont let her win, instead of selfharming be determimd to take it further, if you feel your not strong enough, seek help from citizen advice they might be able to help, or tell you where to get help, or can you ask to be moved?

peachygirl · 10/01/2006 21:55

what about the possiblitty of a swap of departments / offices. Has this person been like this with others? could you get together and make a complaint - this takes guts I know but unless someone takes the plunge this person will go on doing the bullying.
Are you in work tomorrow?
if your friends are supportive, could one of them help you in talking to someone else. (I'm trying to think of practical solutions for you.
Don't wory about 'unloading' we have all said before these threads are for support.

trace2 · 10/01/2006 21:56

and you can talk about anything, on here its our thread

trace2 · 10/01/2006 22:00

pussycat i think your very brave coming on here and telling us such a personal thing, and i thinkthat you are stronger than what you think

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:01

i thnk she was trynig to say today that she wont reduce my hours on medical grounds for a short while , because i had not been off long enoguth in her opinion to warrant it. The guidance doesnt say this, and this isnt what my union advised me either. My doctor had given me a letter at my request to say that he thinks going back part time would help me in the long run, and also help me to become a member of the full time working community again in the future.
She didnt even read it.
i think basically she wants to bully me away from work just so she can try to get me to leave.
Well, im not. Im going to work tomorro and trying my hardest to be there.
I just feel really sad tonight, its been a really long day.....
i have never ever been in a situation like this, and basically the only thing thats changed in thw whole equasion is my line manager.
My union says i am covered by disability discrimination act.
bt to do anything, you need to put in a grievance procedure and i really hate fuss and things. i find it so stressful.
then if i am struggling to cope i slip back into self harming.
it is a horrid vicious circle.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:03

thankyou for being so kind everyone.
peachy i am going to work tomorrow.
i think i may see the union person, but like i said i feel quite scared to take things forward in form of complaint, is a very big step.

northerner · 10/01/2006 22:04

Are you getting professional help for the self harming?

peachygirl · 10/01/2006 22:05

Pussycat you need to be strong.
Your union person will help you with the procedures. did you show them you letter. could you be strong enough to insist they are in a meeting with you and your boss?
I'm really sorry I have to go for a bit, but I will be back later.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:07

northener...yes, on and off. The problem isnt so much the self harming as such, more the ability to cope with the feelings which lead to the self harm iyswim....
i tried to kill myself in november.........
i am getting support from my local mental health team and also have been refered for some psychotherapy although it does take time.
i have alot of support through friends and my dh and also my family are there for me, but i dont always tell them whats going on.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:07

northener...yes, on and off. The problem isnt so much the self harming as such, more the ability to cope with the feelings which lead to the self harm iyswim....
i tried to kill myself in november.........
i am getting support from my local mental health team and also have been refered for some psychotherapy although it does take time.
i have alot of support through friends and my dh and also my family are there for me, but i dont always tell them whats going on.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:07

ooops sorry double post. typing all over place tonightt.

trace2 · 10/01/2006 22:07

no i think you can do this, also if shes not read your gp letter yes i think she want you out, but stand strong, dont go, and befor you think of self harming, because she got to you, stop and think i dont want to do this, i want a happy life and i will have if i dont do keep hurting my self.

and you want a baby that much, it will help you get through this, think of happy thoughts

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:09

thankyou trace, i am trying so hard.
sorry for all this tonight.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:09

thankyou trace, i am trying so hard.
sorry for all this tonight.

northerner · 10/01/2006 22:09

Gosh Does your boss know you tried to kill ourself?

Maybe being in the workplace 2 months after attepting suicide is a bit much for anyone? Meant in the nicest possible way.

pussycatmomma · 10/01/2006 22:10

i will try and be back to normal for you all tomorrow.
normal service will be resumed x x x

trace2 · 10/01/2006 22:10

i just wish we could do more??

northerner · 10/01/2006 22:12

No Pussycat you will try and be back to normal for yourself not for us.

xx

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.