TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

Trouser snakes in clothes? Now that's just wrong...

purple drag your mind out of the gutter

.

at the snake conversation!

Izzy - we got referred to the fertility clinic after 12 mths ttc and we already have DS. Maybe different because you're in Scotland? Or maybe worth challenging them on in case they're trying to fob you off? Can you google your [equivalent of a] PCT to find a policy in your area? If not some of the stuff from the NHS website might go in your favour as that all says 12 mths.

We would definitely have to pay for any treatment now that we have been referred because of already having DS but didn't delay us being referred. Have a friend too in the same position as us but over 35 and she got referred between 6 and 12 mths which again is the 'normal' policy I think. xx

I'm in Scotland and fully expect to be referred as soon as OH actually donates his sample. I've been trying less than a year but I'm over 35, but Izzy it does sound like you are being fobbed off. Honestly, do they not know that A) woman talk to each other and B) google exists! Of course we are going to investigate these things and find out they lied.

Well I've been suffering all day with tummy cramps, period type pains
I'm at the most 3dpo depending on when I ovulated so no idea what the cramps are.

They're spreading round to my back and it feels like AF could arrive but I dont think thats likely

Well I could espouse theories, or would you rather ignore any made up symptoms? In which case, call it wind

Yeah I'll call it implantation wind It's more in my back now so could be my kidneys

I'm interested to here about the clear blue monitor. I saw the 20 test one on amazon and thought I might try it.
What do those of you that have used it think of it?

I tried not to go in to the charting mode when we first started TTC as I didn't want to get obsessed but after 15 months it's hard not to.

I try to SWI every other day around ov and I've used the cheapo tesco OPK a few times.

What does everyone else do to monitor ov?

oh god purple dressed up trouser snakes notgoingtogoogleit,notgoingtogoogleit.....
I am going bite the bullet and order the shag dictator today from amazon, as I'm still not sure when I ovulate really and had no luck with the cheapy OPK's am trying to be optimistic and consider the possibility that I might have missed ovulation in the 8 months we have been trying, as I have a long cycle and all the shagging just gets exausting (and the three years that we have used the rythm method before that... clutching at straws maybe? )
docs tomorrow to ask for tests too, kids break up today so I'll have to take my girls with me, I have told them that I'm going for a smear and asked them to wait in the wating room for me though, I could just imagine oldest who is just going into year 7's reaction to hearing tales of ovulation, sperm counts and mucus, hahaha.

Fatima I mostly just check my knickers. I get obvious CM and usually mittleschmerz. That's all I do. Day 21 test confirmed ov last month so fingers crossed I've been getting it right all this time. I'm way too lazy disorganised for temping or Shag Dictators. That's why the other thread I'm on is the Just Shagging one. I still drink ( wine and coffee!), eat whatever I want, don't bother with much in the way of science, and just have sex for a few days running up to ovulation. Of course, I'm still not up-duffed, but so far at least I'm not totally obsessed. Getting close mind you

nelly I still drink too and partake in coffee, peas ect ect. I feel that this whole buisness is miserable enough without drinking dandilion coffee and nettle tea also ;-) I'm happy to make lifestyle changes for my health that will also help ttc, I have reduced my sugar intake to help prevent thrush which is horrid and bad for the TTC but I'm not going to live like a nun. I'm also resisting anything alternative therapy wise that isnt herbal medicine or vitamin suppliments as I feel that a lot of it is false hope pedalling, however before I make myself look too rational and considered I have to admit I bought a quartz egg from a crystal healer a few months ago who was full of tales of people who had bought them for friends, sisters ect and only had them in the house one night and concieved accidentally, people who had uncucessfull IVF magically concieving because of them ect ect. I also sat on an ancient pregnancy chair (and made dh sit in it too, just for good measure) with similarly disapointing results...

MRsd - those vits are called Menevit and it may be worth looking in to ? i think I will also try and find out more info on them.
Peace - sorry you were having such an awful day yesterday. it?s bloody irritating how MN keeps logging out and then your post is lost. I can?t believe what a cruel trick AF and your bug played on you. There are just no words. I wish I had words of wisdom about how you can stop at getting yourself in to a frenzy over everything. The trouble is I get like this and it?s awful ? it?s so easy to worry about everything. Anyway I will certainly join you in the non googling of stuff. I might not last very long though!
Karbea / nervous - slightly concerned to read that you can?t get pregnant with cycles less than 26 days as mine have gone down to 25. Eek. I must say I have only heard that cycles between 22-35 days is considered normal and the LP is the important bit. I will try and gloss over this one although may just check with my gynae on this. I must say my acupuncturist was very good but he did come out with bizarre statements like implantation doesn?t happen any later than 5dpo which is definitely not true.
Will be interested to hear whether your quartz eggs work skeleton !

Just to update that today I feel a bit better but still queasy - good job it isn't the tww, or I'd be convinced I was in with a chance! And better in the head too but still rather flat. So, 9 months of well timed shagging hasn't bought a baby. I'm writing off the few months before that where we ditched the condoms. 9 months is not catastrophic. But - it feels like 9 years. AF was heavy for one day, light for a day and has now gone back to spotting. I feel like I have a lazy womb who can't be bothered. Which is exactly how I feel about writing my masters. For opk ers - I kept missing mine til I did them in the evening which I read somewhere is more useful. I used to have a persona for not making babies and sold it on eBay - I miss it now because I'm bored of weeing into little pots. I cant remember what not making babies felt like.

Discussion point. For about 6 hours this week I thought I might be pregnant. And I felt scared! I was worried I'd been bleeding a bit and that I had cramps. And I saw a whole new can of worry worms open up about being preggers and whether everything was ok. I feel like I've tried so long, I'll be worried that when it happens, everything is as it should be. I know this might sound stupidly negative, but I just wondered if you knew what I meant. Cos up until Monday I thought I'd be ecstatically happy 100% of the 9 months. Hmm. Making a baby is a complicated business.

peaceport I know what you mean - the worry doesn't end just with getting a BFP but at least it is the first step of the way.

We had a mc with our first pg and I worried so much more throughout the second one, especially until we had our 12 week scan. You know the knicker checking when AF is due? Well picture that right up until 12 weeks :(

Couldn't believe it when there was a heartbeat and everything at the scan - the sonographer (is that what they're called?) must have thought I was a bit mental and been wondering exactly what i was expecting when I nearly fell of the bed with surprise!

But I think with these things it is just a matter of going one step at a time. Incidentally, the worry doesn't stop once they pop out ('pop'? hardly....) there is always something to think about.

Still we're here to hold your hand - until you get your bfp and then after too. There are always plenty of people to talk to about anything. I think the thing that makes this worry harder than the normal sort is that you feel like you have to do it in secret. Our menfolk don't generally 'get' the level of worrying we do during the ttc bit. They tend to be a bit more on board the other side of the bfp :)

Once other people know about the pg there is no end of people to talk to about whatever is getting you down. And other things that worry you further down the line can normally have something done about them. I mean for example if your child has a temp, you worry, but you can take them to the doc and do something. With this ttc business no one has any answers and no one can see what is going on. Plus it messes up your hormones so all the worrying gets amplified.

Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble.....

Oh and glad you are feeling a little better Peace hope you're 100% soon xx

Thanks biscuits, that's made me feel so much better and calm. I love this thread.

The acupuncturist said that the first half of your cycle is important too, something about how long it takes for the egg to be released (turning oven up the cake cooks quickly but is burnt on the outside and runny on the inside, same with eggs...) and that process, ideally you'd ov on day 14, this month I've ov'd on day 13 and he said that was pretty good.

I think the worrying is probably very normal peaceport, I still have a thumping heart feeling of panic when I do a preg test even though I want it so much to be positive, if it actually were I think I would shake, feel sick ect ect. When I was pregant with my DD's I used to have dreams that my period had come and wake up really distressed, I would actually think I could feel the stickyness that you get when you come on in the night and run to the loo to check. I feel as a natural worrier I merely trade one worry for the next when i was doing my degree i worried about getting a good grade, silly things like what if i broke my leg and then was not able to catch up with the work, then I worried about what i was going to do if i couldnt get on a pgce, now I'm worrying about the pgce and failing that... and so on, dunno if I'm being reasuring or not really, still if your reading this and thinking 'neurotic nutter' at least it passes the time

Peas, skeleton???? what's wrong with peas.

Urg karbea cant believe I need to worry about that too now. Lalalalala I can't hear you.

biscuits that was a very good post you wrote, no wonder Peace feels better.

Though I'm scared to ask but , are your periods normally that short peace?

My periods aren't normally this short. My gp did say tho that if you get a few days of spotting before, they can be shorter cos there isn't as much left? It sounds as if she just made that up! But who knows what a 'normal' one is. This been particularly odd though. And ahem, did a test secretly this morning 'just in case' hello one line my old friend. I could only confess to this here! Good to know skeleton that I'm not alone in my worrying. I have survived a pgce if you ever need moral support - are you about to do it?

I'm glad that you are feeling a bit brighter Peace

I agree that I too am worrying about the worry after getting a BFP. I think it's because I know that older mums are at more risk of a MC, that having polycystic ovaries increases the risk & also you read on these boards about MCs happening so often. That said I thrive on worrying, it's a permanent state for me. Like you Skeleton I find things to worry about. Once a problem is resolved I look for the next thing to stress about

Well I'm really not hopeful this cycle at all and strangely just feel resigned to it - though I am still wandering around being an absolute miserable and irritable bitch so in retrospect changing the bed clothes this afternoon was probably not the wisest idea and resulted in a tangled duvet, swearing fit and then tears! I have had my third migraine of the week and know that this isn't a good sign (something to do with falling progesterone and rising estrogen). I also decided to randomly take my temp this afternoon, just out of curiosity, and it showed a temp as low as I would expect to see pre ovulation. Am totally sick of this bollocks now and think that I might have to get a snake instead

x-posted and it looks like I have totally ignored subsequent posts - sorry!

About periods I'm sure I've read that a cycle of 25 to 35 odd days is normal, as is spotting pre full flow. Isn't the all important thing the length of LP which will depend on when in your cycle you ovulate???? Bit concerned about the sloppy/runny/burnt eggs business though!!!

Peace that?s kind of what I was thinking, but I guess if you?ve done a secret test, your body is just playing particularly cruel tricks on you this month. That?s very unfair :(

Pout I know what you mean about the scary stories, but remember MN is not actually a proper sample. The people who get pregnant easily, have worry free pregnancies and no miscarriages are far less likely to seek solace or advice in an internet forum. They?re too busy Blooming and upsetting their infertile friends with their blasé attitude. But - taking your temperature mid-afternoon surely means nothing? Today I am going to be the voice of both reason and Cheer. You can all slap me later, when you are fed up of Cheer and just want to wallow .

Oh by the way, practical tip to get round the very annoying Log Off thing. I am using it right now . My netbook has a funny touchpad, and sometime when I am typing, the cursor jumps off the textbox. If I then hit Backspace, it actually goes back a page on Internet Explorer, hence I lose everything I have typed. Many many shouting-at-computer episodes have ensued. Also, at work, I don?t want to keep the MN screen up too long. So to avoid these problems, I just type up my post on MS Word. I pretty much know all the shorthand for the smilies now, so it?s easy to do, and I don?t have to worry about being logged out or losing the post. Also, my boss thinks I am writing a Very Important Document. Double win.

You could also in theory do it in an email screen or something, but then there is always the danger that you?d send it by mistake. Oh god, could you imagine if you accidentally sent your boss an email that talked about CM, how much sex you were having, just how heavy your period was and all that kind of stuff. I?d probably just walk out of the office and never return .

Hi everyone
Biscuits, Izzy, Fatima, pout and Peace sorry about your crappy 2 WWs, I really sympathise. It is just miserable isn?t it and being ill/your body playing tricks on you makes it so much worse on top of the symptom spotting, PMS and general TTC worries. Agree with the others that distraction is the only thing that helps. Peace it is funny about your yoga room because that?s exactly what I have recently designated my nursery spare room as. Now all I need to do is some actual yoga! I like telling people that it?s a yoga room because they clearly can?t figure out if I?m being serious or not.

Madness hope your mum is behaving herself, have you started doing the Kevin the Teenager thing yet?!

Mrsd, Biscuits, joycep, nelly and others thank you for the advice and reassurance on the mutant swimmers. I felt a lot better after reading your posts. The motility was 47% apparently which the doctor said was fine. He has been taking Wellman for a while but I know it can take a few months to build up into your system. I will look into those other vitamins. He has to do another test in two weeks, so there is always the chance that it?s ok, but even if it isn?t I guess it means we might be a step closer to understanding why it hasn?t happened which is good. nelly I had a proper ?I love this thread? moment when I saw you had worked out my DH?s non-mutant sperm count ? that was lovely, thank you :)

Skeleton congrats on your graduation and I LOL?d embarrassingly in the office when I read about the snake babies! Wasn?t going to try explaining that one to the colleagues!

mrsd I get hormone related spots throughout my cycle but they are generally worst about about a week before AF.

purple totally know what you mean about dreading your SIL?s preg announcement. Me and DH are going on holiday with a very lovely, recently married couple next month, and I?ve got it in my head that on the first night there we will go out for a drink and she won?t be drinking and then they?ll tell us she pg and I?ll have to spend an entire week with a radiantly fertile beautiful pregnant lady. But nelly you are so right that there isn?t a finite number of babies in the world....

I?d also like to pledge not to google things! I mean seriously, I must have read the whole of the internet by now so what is the point?! I have been consumed with worry lately (I am also a natural worrier) and have managed to convince myself I have got premature ovarian failure, so I think it?s definitely time to step away from the internet...

Everyone who mentioned short cycles, one of my friends got pregnant last year after three months of trying and her cycles were 21 days at the time.

Ha ha. Just read your post nelly. I think my boss would actually die if he could see the stuff on this thread. He is a very nice eccentric professor type, definitely not the sort you want to discuss the stretchiness of your EWCM with.

at the thought of a snake in little bootees. That has cheered me up no end.

I think I'm turning into a bitter childless hag. Today there was a woman with a huge bump in the supermarket queue in front of me. She also had two children with her, one was having a tantrum and the other one was playing up too and she was shouting at them and being pretty mean to them. She looked very hassled and kept dropping stuff as she was trying to put stuff on the conveyer belt. Anyway, I did nothing to help her and didn't even pick stuff up for her which I feel very ashamed about now I think about it but all I was thinking was "you have chosen to have a third when you really can't cope with the two you've got and I bet you got pregnant really easily every time so I am not going to help you". How evil am I ? I do feel bad now though. I am going to go out of my way to help someone tomorrow. But I would draw the line at giving up a seat on the tube to a woman wearing a baby on board badge. Do people seriously wear these joycep?

Hi ladies,

Haven't had a chance to catch up with all the posts yet, but wanted to say hello. So far managing not to be too infantile with my mother. We went for posh afternoon tea today with my best friend, her mom and her 8 week old, and I think that I did remarkably well, considering :)

My mother has been chatting with men online, since she's moving here permanently in November, and one of them delivered flowers to our house last night . It was slightly sweet and slightly creepy at the same time. At least I know that she won't be relying on me for a social life when she's living here!

Will catch up on everyone's news when I have had enough mother daughter bonding and need to escape for an hour or two :O