TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

No news this end, I'm 13dpo but gettin bfn's so don't know what to think.other than that no news.

Izzy sorry about your BFNs, I sympathise

Thanks everyone for the advice, he had a really good heart to heart with his friend that i'd spoken to previously so hopefully that will have helped.

I go for my blood test results tomorrow so will broach the subject again.

I'm quite open with my TTC with my best friends and the girls at work, I find this quite good to stop it getting on top of me. Although it still does at certain times of the month.

I'm determined that this month we'll get duffer regardless of all the tests i'm having. Hopefully the tests will tempt fate?! I can hope

Morning Ladies!

Welcome back after a lovely weekend Nelly and a wonderful cat story. Your DH sounds like as much of a mad cat lady as I would aspire to become. Sympathies for the BFNs izzy any chance of a late ovulation?

On telling or not telling about TTC. I was really secretive when we started (even put folic acid in a normal multi-vitamin container) but I have gradually told the whole world... First my sister, then some friends, then more friends, then I wailed during my appraisal, which was the week we got referred to the fertility clinic... I also told my mum, as she had trouble TTC: it took 6 years but they managed to have 4 children once her body understood the trick, so that is something to take comfort from. The only ones who don't know are my ILs but we are much less close to them. I have found people knowing helpful, as it stops some of the questions, but I do find it awkward when people feel the need to inquire whether AF has showed up, when she has, again...

I am shocked by the incompetence of your clinic pout and I do hope there is a chance of funded treatment, and at least that your GP will be more useful (although really that is not much to ask!) Oh and I love your marley waffles too. Laughter has to be an amazing antidote to misery!!

What a horrible story about your mum euro I can totally understand that would put you off having kids for quite a while! Fatima good luck with all the tests and I recognise the fate-tempting upduffedness surely I will be six weeks by our next appointment in August. And the other ladies have said sensible things about your OH. How bad is a bit of vvanking really? My DH has done his duty again on Monday...

Peace and mrsd sympathies for bad swimmers again. Although I am quite panicked about the IVF results for unexplained inf. But I am NOT going to google things now. I am going to work... And totally weird how money does talk - it is a realisation that has come late with me too, but it has totally landed... :(

Right onto work after another massive post. But so much has happened! I am sure I forgot half, apologies for missing important bits out and speak later!!

crumbs, spotting has started. I was expecting it of course but still makes me feel rubbish. And I have an awful and busy day ahead of me at work. Oh well. Will catch up with you all properly later.

mrsden sorry about the spotting

slow I know what you mean
DH has said he is going to take his sample on Friday. We had sex last night and I quite fancy sone more but will have to wait til Friday

I dont think i ov'd late as cbfm showed peak on days 24 and 25, no idea whats going on!

Morning, you're all keeping me company as I procrastinate at work. My work output decreases as I get further into the two week wait, 8dpo and I feel the same as always. Again. At around now I have one and only one day of Mega Grumping/Anger/Rage. It can be directed at anything/one. It has always signalled AF. But today I feel calm. DH says he doesn't feel out of the danger zone until my period comes!

Mrsden - boo to evil spotting! I spot for a day or two before my period and it's ANNOYING! every time it comes it's like I've been winded in the tummy. I send you a big hug. We will get there, you're another month nearer.

I feel comforted by this thread. I swear I've felt more positive since I found it.

This year I have become a lot healthier at least. But wine has been my demon struggle. I'm a fat glass of wine (or two) most weekdays, a bit more at weekends kind of girl. I tried to have a night off every week. I reckon I drank a mans worth of units. Since Jan, I've massively cut down and now have a 10 unit a week policy. At the risk of sounding like am alco - this has been hard! But I measure them properly and haven't broken it yet. I know a lot of books say stop drinking altogether but this seems a big ask when I could be trying for ages and ages. I don't smoke or drink caffeine. What's everyones take on this? I'm considering a tee total august...worth it?

Sorry about the spotting Mrsd - it never gets any easier does it.
izzy - keeping fingers crossed. For some people it can take a while for the hcg to be picked up on a stick. Hopefull this is what is happening!
Slowbutnice - interesting about your mum taking 6 years and then now she has 4 kids! And this is not the first time I have heard these kind of stories. Apparently it can take some women's bodies an age to know what to do but as soon as the body has finally got pregnant, it's like it suddenly knows what it has to do.
Purple - definitely get all the results for your DH's SA. Why didn't they give them to you?? I'm sure your DH's were fine...they have all the parameters of normality on the same piece of paper so GPs know what to look at. My GP ums and erms all the time - it's not a great confidence booster is it? But i've come to realise they are generalists and can't possibly know everything!

Purple Try not to worry about the SA results. I'm sure that your GP wouldn't have said they were normal if they weren't. My DP's apparently weren't great but good enough IFYSWIM so perhaps worse case scenario for you is that the results are just within the parameters of normal which is why your GP was a bit ho hummy. I'm sure that at your fertility clinic appointment they can elaborate. Does your DH take any Wellman type vits in the meantime?

Isn't it terrible though how we are all at such a pitch of anxiousness that we are trying to read our doctors body language!

Nelly I felt a bit sick when I read that your cat has gone AWOL & was so relieved to read further that she's come home
3.30am shagging? I am My DP is now too much of an old git for such shenanigans. I have to plan SWI days around the TV because he insists on going up to bed dead early on those nights and I'm not missing the Apprentice for anyone!

I hope that you enjoyed your trip away.

Peace I hope that your lack of rage at this point is a good sign. It's so weird, since TTC I get the murderous urges starting only a few days after ovulation.
I have no idea about the effects of drinking on TTC but my feeling is that a few glasses of wine surely isn't the end of the world - a few bottles of gin a week would obviously be a different story! I agree with you that if we are going to be a long time at this TTC lark then we can't live like nuns. I gave up caffeine for a while but have come back round to the idea that I have to try and live a "normal" life. Having said that I only put half a spoon of coffee in - I figure that way I can have more cups!

Mrsden I'm sorry about your spotting & that you feel down. I absolutely hate spotting and always feel better when AF has the decency to at least start up properly.

Slow I am still at the hiding evidence of TTC stage. I have been known to remove the empty vitamin box from the recycling basket outside in case it gets seen - not that it is likely that the neighbours come round rifling through my recycling. Hell even the postman is only brave enough to deliver post a couple of times a week for fear of the snarling, foaming at the mouth dog at the window!

Izzy Your BFNs must be so frustrating. I thought the same as Joycep that sometimes it can take a while for enough HCG to be produced for a test to pick up. I really hope that this is the case for you. In the meantime I hope you stay sane. Do you feel normal in yourself otherwise?

Well I'm working myself up into a right state because I'm on Day 11 and still got no signs of ovulation being on its way. I think a no ovulation month might well send me over the edge!

Poutster - you can be in a state with me. I'm on Day 11 as well and no signs of ovulation either. I use to get the signs starting on day 10, now I have got it in to my head that those clomid pills i took those other months have destroyed my fertility for ever. Dramatic, me? Never!

Joycep It's weird that we've suddenly synchronised cycle wise - you used to be ahead of me! I sound like a nutter that has everybody's cycles in a diary or something

I know that I usually ovulate day 15/16 but I usually have some indicators by this point. This month will be just awful if I know that it's over before it's begun!

I understand your thinking about the Clomid. I am thinking the same about the bee pollen - how I shouldn't have stopped taking it. I think we should definitely be overly dramatic about it all & wring our hands and flounce a lot today!

I know, my cycles are shortening so I think it likes to sync with different people every month.

I'm day 14/16 too and I was hoping i would snap back in to my usual routine (flaps her hands in despair). Oh you've stopped the wasp pollen this month...what did that do again? But I'm with you , my breathing is getting heavier and my hands are periodically flailing as I imagine all my eggs are out of stock!!

I've got no idea if the pollen did anything though the two cycles I took it did seem to coincide with more EWCM. I only took it because I read general claims that it is some kind of wonder substance that leads to lots of BFPs. It's probably tosh but desperate times!

I think that everyone has cycles where they don't ovulate so I am probably due one of those but I still don't like it and see it as a wasted month. Who knows maybe ovulation may yet kick in.

It's so rubbish though that there is so much guess work that goes into this and therefore lots of imagining worst case scenarios like your eggs going out of stock!

To make myself feel better I keep thinking of those ladies who have said that they got upduffed on cycles where they had no EWCM and were sure they hadn't ovulated

Hoping for movement on the egg front for us both!!

Evening ladies, hope you're all ok.

Pout I am not sure that I have ovulated this month either. Currently on CD21 and my chart is showing that I possibly ov'd on CD 18 but that seems very late - I normally have a 28 day cycle and LP 13-15 days ish so all seems a bit weird this month. No idea what's going on or consequently when AF is due so a very stressful 2 weeks ahead I think .

Went to visit my friend today and her 5 week old baby - gorgeous but feeling a bit up emotional now. A little bit and then guilty for being ! She slept on me (the baby, not my friend ) for about 2 hours which was both nice and a bit emotional.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Izzy - any sign of AF yet? Have you tried testing first thing in the morning? Just wondered how you were getting on..... Hope you're ok xxx

Inner wail. So I was going out for a curry with people from work last night, 8 dpo, feeling fine and started spotting. Didnt feel like curry at all then. Very sad face. I've had no pmt and don't spot til 11dpo usually. Then this morning my temp has gone down and I've got little cramps. How dare my period be coming! Now of course I'm worried about shortening luteal phases and gone wrong cycles. Fertility 'Friend' kindly tells me only 6% of people have spotting on 8dpo. Bitch! Now I'm sat in bed not wanting to go to the loo in case spotting has actually become my period. Morning everyone!

Oh Peaceport - you poor thing. What a rollercoaster this whole horrible business is...... Let me bring you a .

Could spotting 8dpo be implantation? Temperature drop - implantation dip?

I know what you mean though about not wanting to know if AF is there - it's such a horrible feeling. Do let us know how you get on xxx

Morning.
Peace I am sorry to hear about the spotting, but at 8 dpo it could be implantation bleeding, I really hope so. Try not to get too down just yet, fingers crossed af stays away.
I'm 15 dpo and temps are slowly dropping so am just wishing af would hurry the f up so I can get on with the next cycle. Have to say I'm convinced that agnus castus has helped with pms symptoms this month, they've not been half as bad as usual. I too normally get 2 days of spotting before my period, v annoying and crampy
Fatima how did you get on with your test results?
Pout and Joyce, hopefully ovulation will be soon, are you on the grapefruit juice?
Izzy any news?
Lisa don't beat yourself up about feeling a tiny bit jealous, it is totally normal and us ttc women would have to be saints not to get a teeny bit upset in those situations
Peace I am a bit of an old lush and love a drink or three! When we first started ttc I carried on drinking as normal but as the months have gone on I've cut back. Not much fun but it has made me realise I don't always need to drink as much as I think I do, especially in social situations. DH and I have a gap in our diaries in September and we're going to try and have another few weeks off. But I agree, cutting it out entirely is a bridge too far for me at the moment.
Have a good day ladies x x

Hi all, I wanted to give an update, and I hope it might be of some use for others.

I saw my GP two weeks ago and explained that we had been trying to conceive for a year now (its actually 10 months but I'd heard that the NHS won't treat you unless its been at least one year). However, she told me that my NHS trust will only provide fertility treatment after 2 years. I was surprised, and the first thing that came to my mind is that I've also heard the NHS won't treat those over the age of 37. I raised this concern and she said that my NHS trust have an age limit of 39. For anyone who is interested my NHS trust is Westminster...Anyway, after some discussion, she eventually agreed to send me for blood tests and an ultra-sound. She also suggested that my partner give a sample to be tested, but this is going to take some convincing (he's a bit head-in-the-sand about it all). The ultra-sound went fine, no obvious problems, and in fact I was able to see a follicle that was about to release an egg. The ultra-sound technician also said she could see which ovary I'd ovulated from last month. So far, so good. I'm yet to get my blood tests back, so we shall see if that throws up anything but for now, to say I'm relieved that my uterus and ovaries look to be healthy and working would be an understatement.

Meanwhile, I've been using the clear blue fertility monitor for the past 2 cycles. The strange thing about this is that it never shows a peak reading. I get one bar / low reading during my period, and then it goes up to 2 bars for the rest of my cycle (I have very short cycles of ~21 days). At the moment, I'm trying to convince myself this is due to user error, or the machine is just a bit unreliable, as I don't want to jump to conclusions about my hormone levels just yet. I'm aslo scanning forums to find out if others have had similar experiences...

Hi Game sounds like we're at about the same point. I had an ultrasound last week which apparantly looked OK & am waiting until my next cycle starts for blood tests. DP's received his pot, though is yet to come up with the goods - in spite of me having given him the go ahead! Most of them seem to need a nudge when it comes to this...

I use the cheap OPKs from Amazon, which have given me 2 lines for each of the last 3 months. Last month was the only what I would consider to be normal (for me!) month, (when I had the lines on days 14 & 15 of a 25 day cycle), but for the other 2 months I'm convinced that stress has led to a delay in ovulation & I didn't get 2 lines until days 17 & 18. The first time this happened my cycle ended up being 30 days long, so I'm expecting that this might be the case this month too, unless a bit of magic's happened. Currently on cd 22... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that maybe you're just delayed too Pout & Joycep.

I'd be more inclined to believe the fact that the technician saw that an egg was about to be released rather than the CBFM, I hope so anyway.

Not long til the weekend

It's strange we've been told different things about what normal morphology is joycep and peace. We were told over 3% on the Kruger criteria was normal.

purple I'm sure a Dr wouldn't say it was normal if it wasn't, that would be very unprofessional. I try not to read too much into Drs body language and stuff now because I work myself up into thinking that there is something really bad that they're not telling me. Or I convince myself that they have never seen someone like me before and I am a medical mystery. Can you find out the actual numbers? I found it helpful that we were given the complete print out of the results.

popcorn I agree that all those celeb twins are probably the result of fertility treatment. They've got the money I suppose.

nervous I'm so pleased your story had a good ending. I hate it when our cat decides to go off wandering, although she is a homebird really and doesn't do it very often thank goodness.

izzy it's not over until AF turns up, fingers crossed.

peace honestly, I wouldn't worry about the drink. I have realised now that it doesn't help if I beat myself or DH up about every little thing, we are better to enjoy life. Nothing is going to make that much difference. Sorry about the spotting.

pout how annoying that you are still waiting to ovulate. Cycles were you don't though are quite normal but I know that doesn't stop it being annoying. I ovulated much later this month, I think it might be because I missed taking my conception vits for a week. I'm sure they make my cycles shorter and make me ovulate earlier. Has anyone else found this? I think it might be to do with the B vitamins.

I'm still spotting, think AF will come tomorrow. Someone at work announced she was 14 weeks pregnant yesterday, her first is only 17 months so looks like she got her perfect 2 year age gap that she planned. It got me thinking about what a different experience most people have ttc. They must have none of the stress and it all must be exciting. They decide they want a baby, SWI and wham there you go. So easy.

Hello all.

mrsd I know what you mean. I was chatting with a male friend yesterday and he was saying that he had never had to try for kids, they just came along when he and his wife wanted them. He asked with some degree of horror "are you counting days and using particular positions, etc?". Erm yes. I'd do it standing on my head if I thought it would help. I am jealous of how easy it was for him.

i know what you mean MrsD and Euro - and to be fair before we started ttc I never imagined it wouldn't be a matter of when and where we wanted them but oh how different the reality is! Makes me grateful for MN though as make me feel less of an oddity (in this respect at least ) xx

game... not sure if you've read my posts about my appointment with the acupuncturist yesterday, I have longer (27-30 days) and shorter cycle(21-24 days), on average it's every other one. The acupuncturist said that even though weve been trying for 9 cycles, only 3 would really be viable, because the blood around my wall wouldn't be thick enough to carry the pregnancy. So I'm going to focus on that, also I don't feel quite so bad, as really we've on,y tried 3 times, so not so much of a failure iyswim...

Game I've never used a cbfm but I was also wondering if you'd tried opks?

Mrsden and Euro, I totally agree about how most people who ttc are completely unaware of the heartache it can cause. If there is one good thing to come out of this painful process, I definitely feel like it has finally shut the door on all the doubt and anxieties I had about becoming a mother and I won't take being pg for granted if and when it happens.