TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

pout that sounds like a good idea to go and speak to your GP because it doesn't sound right that they don't fund unexplained. Unless there is just a complete suspension on funding ivf which I know has happened in some areas. I googled the name of the pct and IVF funding and it came up with the funding access criteria they use, I assume what it says is up to date but it's hard to tell. If I was in the UK I would go to speak to my GP because I think they must know what the current situation is. I can see why they might make you wait a bit longer, like the 2 year thing with unexplained to see if it is just a case of needing to give it more time. But I would have thought that after trying for 2 years it would be pretty unusual for it to happen spontaneously although not unheard of.

at your DP wanting some help, men will try anything.

mrsd they never found out what the problem was with my mum. But I think seeing what she went through (I was 8 when she stopped trying so old enough to remember seeing the scans and then her being v ill) was one of the reasons I didn't want kids for years. I think it just scared me a bit.

I want to talk to her about what she went through (I tend to take after my mum so maybe there will be something helpful to know there as I go through my investigations) but I am waiting for a chance to corner her when my dad isn't around! She knows we were planning to try after we got married (last August). I told her because she was curious as to why we were bothering after so long when I had always said I would never do it. But she hasn't asked about it since. But my family is quite "English" and tends not to talk about "private" or emotional stuff. This is often a good thing, incidentally!

pout the difference in sperm count levels over the years is shocking. One of my current "high horses" topics is how infertility is always assumed to be due to the woman when the stats are 1/3 female, 1/3 male, 1/3 unexplained.

Hello Lovely People.

A close colleague at work just told me her sister is pregnant again, very soon after her first baby. Then she looked very uncomfortable, she knows me and dh (who also works with me) are struggling. Then I wondered if she was also pregnant, she said they were going to start trying later this year. This has all made me feel

I've told most people that we ate trying and it's taking a while as I'm pretty open about things and talking is my way of dealing with stuff. But I hate it when people feel a little funny about telling me about new pregnancies. Then I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut.

I get angry at the stigma attached to infertility (and don't even start me on the ivf lotto thread). If there's something I will take from this hard journey, it's that I will never ever ask someone when they're going to have a baby. And I will make sure everyone knows that we tried for ages, should I ever get my bump. I'd love to set up some kind of rl support group, I've been shocked at the lack of help out there. Need to shake my grump off now. It's probably pmt - grrr!

fatima can you try guilt on your OH? As in they will put you through all manner of invasive tests, even an operation (laproscopy) to look for the cause when if it is a male issue, they can find that out by him having a vvank? It doesn't seem a lot to ask when looked at like that!

(In all likelihood they will test you anyway to make sure there aren't issues on both sides, but for persuasion purposes it might help to out it like that!)

Euro While we fall into the unexplained category I am acutely aware of people probably assuming that we haven't had kids because either I'm "selfish" and don't want them or that I have the problem & can't.

I think that maybe I'm getting to that point when I might start letting more people know that we are having these issues. Though like you say about your parents being very "English" about these things I'm aware that most people probably won't want to know!
I'm fed up of people asking how I am and I just smile and trot out "oh we're fine" when really I want to tell them that I'm bloody miserable, stressed to the hilt and on the verge on a mini breakdown!

Peace I'm sorry that you are feeling low.

I agree that if I ever am pregnant, like you, I will definitely let people know how long it took and the hard journey it's been. I will also revel in people wanting to touch my bump - I get really grumpy when I read on here about people having the hump about little old ladies touching their bumps or touching their babies.

pout I'm with you on the wanting to scream "no, I'm bloody miserable" when people ask if I'm ok. Especially when it's a pregnant friend that asks. I think if someone probed a bit, I'd tell them. But all my friends are pregnant or have new borns so are all self absorbed at the moment that when they ask if I'm ok they don't really wait for an answer before launching in to telling me how hard it is for them to be pregnant. My friend is almost 10 weeks now and all I hear about is her morning sickness and how she is planning her maternity leave. And about how stressful everything is having to juggle sickness with work and worrying about the baby. I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic, she planned this baby so it's not as though it's a shock. I'd give anything to be in her shoes. I'm turning into a bitter old women already. Someone show me the wet kipper.

Pout - I'm with you on the bump feeling! I'd let people give it a love whenever they liked. I asked to touch my friends earlier this year and was told how she was sick of people asking if they could touch her. Hump!

And MrsDen - I'll only show you the wet kipper, but only gently. It's hard hiding how crap you feel all the time. I think we might be in similar boats with dh and swimmers. Have you had two SA results now?

yes we've had two now peace. They were done two months apart and the second one is quite a bit better but still rubbish. Has your DP had his swimmers checked out?

Yes, 6 weeks apart. The count is fine and on the 2nd one motility was fine (it was low on the first) but morphology 3%, then 7%. GP verdict was 'not great but not the worst'. He said it would undoubtedly take us a lot longer than usual. It does take 12 weeks to see full changes tho doesn't it. DH (with some gentle - read full on - persuasion) is taking wellman conception, vit c and pine bark. He's cut down on coffee and booze too (after me sulking heavily) Some days I think full on 'it's ivf for us' and other days I think of one stubborn Indiana Jones sperm fulfilling his challenging mission. Some months we use preseed and some months I can't be arsed. I hope that I am totally Ok so that our chances are better but I'm waiting for hsg now. Have you had this?

it does only need one to get there peace but that doesn't give me much hope either. The urologist yesterday was very positive and said that with good motility there is always a chance, he said it is worse to have low count and low motility. Your morphology doesn't sound too bad (is that the Kruger scale they've used?) because we were told above 3% on Kruger is normal. He said the most important thing was to make sure we timed SWI right so that we gave the swimmers the best chance. Dh is taking a vitamin supplement with Vit E, C, A, Zinc and folic acid that the doctor recommended. I've not heard of pine bark, what is it supposed to do? He hasn't cut out coffee because the Dr said that some caffeine can actually improve motility . DH doesn't smoke and isn't a big drinker but I'm watching what he does drink now .

I've not had a hsg yet, I see my gynae in a couple of weeks so will see what she says. I know she's going to give me another ultrasound to check on the cyst that she saw that was on my right ovary. Hopefully it's gone, I'm the same as you, I really want my tests to all be ok so then it's just one problem to deal with and ICSI seems like it is very successful for male infertility.

Well I'm still here waiting on AF. Feel a bit silly moaning and being in this thread when I already have a dd and were not at the stage of tests yet, I kinda feel like we've done it before so no point in tests.

I'm 13dpo today which is odd cos when ttc dd my Lp was 10days and only occasionall

Oops! Hit send too early. Was supposed to say only occasionally 11 days max, so this is odd. Even tested yesterday but BFN :(

Still have my fingers crossed for you Izzy. How long have you been TTC no 2?

We already have DS who we conceived easily but this time nada for 18 mths so have gone down the testing route. Not sure if we were super lucky last time? Makes me even more grateful for DS - he might be more of a miracle than I thought :)

MrsDen pine bark is supposed to do wonders for morphology. Also extra vit c 1000 mg is supposed to really help motility. Dh went from 20% to 96% motility (rapid). I think this also shows that it can change from test to test, his count was actually lower on the 2nd. There is a man called Rich on the fertilichat forum that gives some interesting advice on SA and supplements, I found it very helpful. I didn't know that male factor only helps ivf chances. Have you got a lovely positive thought inducing link?

I'll have to look out for some pine bark then. Dh is really not in to taking supplements though, he only took the ones he is taking because the Dr told him too. I'm more willing to try anything but I think he is much more rational than me.

Here is an online tool for predicting ivf success ivfpredict.com/index.html

and this explains about the tool
www.nhs.uk/news/2011/01January/Pages/IVF-calculator-predicts-chances-of-success.aspx

We've been trying since November last year but this is the only month that I've had a cycle so its really the first proper month of trying iyswim? That's why I'm not hopeful

Mrsd - I was suppose to be doing IUI this month but I just can't afford it. I have an appt with gynae later this week where I will tell her i've stopped the clomid and i will see what else she can do for me. Probably nothing because I'm not keen on her taking the things she gave me!
Pout - i can't for the life of me think why someone with unexplained infertility wouldn't get funded for ivf. But then again these PCTs operate in the most bizarre way. I just think it is awful that people get worn down and exhausted by the process - i think it says it all by the system.

Well I know I was saying I was in a better frame of mind about things, well, I saw another woman with a Bump on Board badge today on the bus...for some reason it annoyed me. I think it's because the bump was so huge, she really didn't need a badge as well!

Peace - was the only question mark over your DH's SA, the morph level or were there some other issues? I think 7% is ok isn't it...?

izzy - crossing fingers for you - 13dpo is great!

Ah ok - it takes a while to settle after contraception then doesn't it. Well maybe only your first cycle so lets see - maybe smiles all round but if not I would say nothing to worry about yet? xx

Hi joycep - yes the 3% morphology was the issue and our gp says 7 is still low - but I have read about 4% cut off using Kruger (which this was) so it's pretty confusing.

Peace - it's so confusing as my DH is 7% and we have been told several times that that is fine but i guess it takes in to account volume etc etc.

Hmm I'm getting worried about SA now because although the GP said DH was normal. He said it more like, 'and it is, erm, normal' but he had a wierd look on his face when he said it and I think he was keeping something from us. He then went about getting us the appointment at the fertility unit so I can't help thinking that there was something that he wasn't confident to discuss with us. In fact I remember - he said, 'er well, the motility, morphology and count were, erm, normal... then he looked like he was going to say something else and though better of it.
Sheet sheet sheet, I'm going to get DH to call GP for the proper results.

Wow, this thread is moving quickly.

So sad to hear about all those awful people on those infertility threads, it is amazing how mean and selfish people can be just because everything is alright in their worlds. I think it?s disgraceful the way things are going with IVF/infertility treatment in this country. I was chatting to a friend today who works for the NHS and she was saying in her area that each couple still gets three cycles, but that loads of PCTs have stopped any kind of treatment whatsoever. I just don?t see how that situation can be justified given what a fundamental effect it has on people?s lives. The cynical side of me thinks that because it is seen as a female/reproductive problem it is easy to brush aside.

Pout I am so sorry you basically got discharged from your clinic so uselessly, I hope you get some more joy at the GPs. One of my friends had to really push recently to be put on the IVF waiting list before funding was withdrawn in her area, and she did manage to get on it after badgering her clinic so I think it shows you have to be pushy (which I am utterly shite at by the way).

Would you ladies consider actually entering the IVF lottery? I would definitely think about it (even though I think it?s a bit humiliating), although I was reading something on the internet that suggested it was all a publicity stunt anyway, also the woman who?s organising it sounds a bit dodgy.

I have been honest with friends and family about TTC, mainly because we had never made any secret of the fact we intended to start trying as soon as we were married. I find it easier than bottling things up. Generally it has been ok, a bit stressful with parents. My mother got really worried about it and keeps telling me ?when I had you I just stopped taking the pill and got pregnant straight away?. My MIL just keeps telling me to forget about it and it will happen ? don?t think I need to say anything about that advice.

I also wonder about all the celebs who get pregnant, especially the ones who have twins ? Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Carla Bruni, Angelina Jolie etc etc....all pregnant later in life with twins, coincidence, hmmm?? A recent one who did admit to having problems was Penny Lancaster, she had her latest after 5 rounds of IVF apparently.

Ladies, I am keeping my fingers crossed that the heroic Indiana Jones-like sperm all make it to their destinations in the end x

Hi everyone. I'm back from my lovely weekend in France, and I've missed heaps!! I tried to catch up but there is just so much chat on here and I'm a bit tired